


Turning Traitor

by WTFIsSheOn



Category: Glass (2019), Split (2016)
Genre: Alternate ending to Glass, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Animal Sacrifice, Blood and Violence, Cannibalism, Crime Fighting, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Edging, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fingerfucking, Fix-It, Fluff, Forced Orgasm, Gore, Hedwig gets to be a super hero, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kevin deserved better, M. Night kicked me in the ovaries with that ending to glass, Multi, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Redemption, Seriously vomited on my soul, Smut, Soulmates, This is gonna be like my Iliad you guys, Weird shit is going down, barry is adorable
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2020-09-14 17:53:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 36
Words: 159,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20279932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WTFIsSheOn/pseuds/WTFIsSheOn
Summary: Dennis regrets his part in unleashing the Beast and survives Raven Hill, getting the chance to try and set things right. As the former face of the Horde he strives to redeem himself, while Barry just wants some semblance of a normal life again. Casey stands in the middle, refusing to abandon her new friend Kevin, much to Barry's delight and Dennis's chagrin.Set at the end of Glass and turns a dark ending into (hopefully) a new beginning for our favorite "broken" characters.





	1. Sitra Ahra

**Author's Note:**

> Dennis's 180 turn in Glass was nice but really glossed over. Pretty sure people don't usually go from being A-OK with murder/cannibalism to insisting they never wanted to kill anybody; definitely a character arc that warrants some explaining. This story started as a way for me to try and flesh out that narrative, and then kind of grew from there. Eventually I'd like to add fanart, or maybe even comic panels in place of some chapters, but I'm not familiar at all with AO3 in regards to actual picture art so we shall see. 
> 
> Art or not at the very least I hope someone finds this enjoyable, I've gotten hours of entertainment from other authors here, so I hope to add to that creative current in my own small way. Thank you for reading!

**Day 3 at Raven Hill**

Dennis didn’t like holding the light anymore, but he didn’t have much of a choice. That irritating woman, Dr. Staple, she kept poking and prodding at Kevin like he was some sort of sick animal, and Dennis didn’t want anyone else to have to endure her invasive questioning. Besides, most of it had to do with Kevin’s mother, and not one of the other alters knew Mrs. Crumb like Dennis did. Even in death she haunted him, and he didn’t want the others to be subject to that pain, regardless if they were Horde or not.

It didn’t help matters that he was always exhausted. Between the uncomfortable bed and the therapy sessions, he was finding it hard to sleep. If he managed to finally settle down on the rock hard mattress and paper thin sheets, he was tormented by nightmares. Nightmares about Kevin’s mother were something he was used to, but now the hag was joined by the vengeful ghosts of multiple teenagers, trying to drag him down to hell. They brought with them images of the night he first allowed the Beast to come through; it was seared into his brain and he couldn't stop reliving it all.

_He was the first to awaken after the Beast was finished feasting. Every part of his body was screaming, yelling at him for letting something so unnatural take control- twist them, use them. _

_ Grimacing, he slowly got to his feet, and was only tangentially aware of the gunshot wound that was slowly closing up on his chest. Only three things were immediately on his mind when he arrived in the light, and miraculously surviving a bullet at close range was not one of them. _

_ The first thing that occurred to him was that he felt like shit. The second thing? It smelled horrible in their apartment. Piss, sweat, and the tang of blood assaulted his senses, and it took him a second to get his bearings. Dennis was no stranger to the scents of a violated body, but it had been a long, long time, and the memories that they brought crashing through into his reality was almost enough to make him lose the light. _ _The third thing Dennis was aware of was the horrible lurching in his stomach, and he only had a few seconds to rush towards a wastebasket before he vomited. Things that should never have been in a human stomach came rushing back up through his mouth, catching on his teeth, coating his tongue. Gagging, he spit out what he briefly hoped was a piece of last night’s turkey, but he knew that was a foolish thought._

_ After his stomach settled down, he slowly walked the length of his modest quarters, seeing if he could piece together what had happened while the newest alter had control. He gingerly pushed open a door to his living room, and his throat knotted up the second he saw her lying on the ground. Down on the floor was the only woman that had shown an ounce of love for Kevin in decades, and she lay broken at Dennis’s feet. _ _Grief ripped through him, and he bent over to gently pick Dr. Fletcher up and lay her back down on the sofa. I’m so sorry, he thought. It wasn’t supposed to be you; you shouldn’t have been here._

_ “Coward!” Barry hissed inside of him. _

_ “Freak," snarled Jade . _

_ “You’re just like ** ** her****," Norma spat, and Dennis recoiled at the thought of being anything resembling the Crumb matriarch. _

_ “No, you’re all wrong,” he growled, but his stomach was sinking regardless. The Beast had emerged and triumphed over the Unbroken, but the victory, if there was any, was pyrrhic. _

_ As he got closer to the rooms the girls were left in (not girls, "sacred food" he had to remind himself), the overwhelming stench of fear and pain met him. He reached the first door and pushed it open with his handkerchief, only to need to close it immediately after a quick glance, retching to the point of tears. But he had to see. He had to know what the Horde had done. _

_He looked, and he gasped. _ _Marcia lay split open, diminished. She was so ravaged that it was hard to tell she was once human, once sacred anything. Those stains would never come out of the carpet. A lot of things had been stained forever that night._

_“This is Patricia’s grand revolution?” Barry snarled, so close to the light, so close to consciousness, that Dennis flinched in surprise. "Little girls ripped open by monsters? Blood on our hands? More suffering?”_

_ Dennis had no rejoinder, so he went with what he kept repeating to himself these past few weeks. “I’m doing this to protect Kevin!” he protested. “I’m doing this to protect all of the broken!” _

_ Barry laughed, and the sound was almost manic. “That girl looks pretty broken to me, you lunatic!” The laughter turned to sobs, and he backed away, unable to take seeing through Kevin’s eyes any longer. "I can’t believe you let that monster kill Dr. Fletcher,” he whimpered, fading from consciousness into the dark where he no longer had to think or feel. _

Dennis had not spoken to any of the non-Horde alters since that night, although their disgust and rage were always present at the edge of his consciousness. Sometimes, when the nightmares jolted him from rest, he would hear them calling out to him. Barry, Samuel, Felida- all begging him to let them go, to make things right. Their cries echoed out when his OCD was at its worst, and at one point an orderly had found him dripping blood from torn knuckles, trying desperately to clean off the gore they told him was staining their hands.

They medicated Kevin afterwards, but Dennis would spit the pills out when they weren’t looking. They probably knew, probably didn’t give a shit. So long as the flashing lights were between them and him, they were safe and he could rot for all they cared.

No peace. No sleep. Not much was easy to come by in this place.

What Dennis did have was time, and plenty of it. Time for him to ruminate; obsess over the choices he made that had brought them to this point. True, he could point fingers at their Priestess, at Patricia, but that’s not who he was. He was the first born, he was the protector. Patricia came to him with her knowledge of the Beast because she knew that only he had the will to do what needed to be done. But now that it was done, Dennis wanted nothing more than to undo it. He had damned every single one of them inside of Kevin, wide eyed and willingly. He was Judas, and he didn’t even ask for one fucking piece of silver for his trouble. He never thought he needed to.

When he first started to hunt sacred food for the Beast, it made sense, in a warped sort of way. The Beast was a god made flesh, born through the broken and tormented body of Kevin Wendell Crumb. And every god demanded sacrifice. But each and every time Dennis arrived into the light after the Beast had fed, he found a little piece of himself was simply gone, diminished. Why was he serving something that only brought pain? Guardians did not inflict pain, they shielded against it. And all he ever wanted was for Kevin to someday be strong enough to take the light again.

_Dennis’s voice was so low it could barely be heard, even in the silence. “He wanted to die.” _

_ “What?” That meant nothing to Patricia. _

_ “Kevin.” The fact that she either did not notice, or did not care about the original’s feelings, made Dennis’s temper flare. “Did you not hear him when Casey called him to the light? Did you not feel how much pain he was in? He asked her to kill us!” _

_ Dennis could practically hear the eye roll in Patricia’s voice: “Dove, he always wants to die, that’s why we are here in the light instead of him. He is not strong enough to realize the power that is now in his grasp. That is why he called us into existence to begin with. To make the choices he knew he could not.” _

What a load of bullshit. Kevin never wanted any of this. Dennis never wanted it. So why did he do it?

The hours ticked by, and Dennis found his feverish mind would not give him any peace. Someone else needed to step in. He hated having to ask, but knew that Hedwig had been wanting the light for some time anyway. There wasn’t much for the little boy to do in that small hospital room, but he did enjoy working on his drawings, and Dennis was happy to let him. He needed a break.

**Day 4 at Raven Hill**

“Hey freak. You’ve got company.” A nurse stepped into their tiny room, breaking up the dreariness of the day, and motioned to some orderlies to bring in a few chairs.

The insult did not go unnoticed by Hedwig, who currently had the light, and he was caught between humiliation and anger. Eyes watering with tears, he tried to put on a tough expression. “What’d you call me, asshole? Try saying that to the Beast!”

The cruel eyed nurse looked like he was about to taunt the little boy further, but heard the echoing footsteps of Dr. Staple just outside the doorway and wisely chose to remain silent.

Hedwig had no time to feel sorry for himself as Casey Cooke stepped into his dismal hospital room, skyrocketing his emotions from crushed to elated. His joy was so palpable that every single alter inside Kevin stood up to take notice of their visitor, clamoring among themselves:

_ “Could it be?” _

_ “Damn, girl has some fucking ovaries on her.” _

_ “What do you reckon she’s here for?” _

Patricia, however, remained silent, intent on watching the interaction between Hedwig and Casey before she felt one way or another about it. The Beast had claimed her as one of their own, but that didn’t mean she had to be excited to see her.

“No way!” Hedwig yelled gleefully. “You tried so hard to get away from us, and now you’ve come to see us? You’re so weird,” he teased, and Casey smiled bashfully in acknowledgement of the unusual situation. 

“May I please speak to Dennis or Patrica?” Her request was gentle but firm, knowing that if she didn’t get right to the point, her allotted time with Kevin would be spent listening to the young boy yammer on about superheroes and music.

The alters immediately fell silent, all eyes turning to the original members of the Horde. Dennis’s mouth nearly dropped open. Casey? Asking for him? What the hell was going on? _“Oh that sweet, lost girl,”_ Barry intoned, sharing his disbelief. _“What could possibly have brought her back to her abductor?”_

Guilt gnawed at Dennis at the reminder, but he immediately hardened while stepping into the light. Casey was throwing everything into chaos, and he had to figure out what was going on, fast.

As soon as he gained control over their body, Dennis immediately sat up straight and crossed his arms, fixing Casey with an intense stare. “What are you doing here?” he demanded gruffly, and then realized he was coming off like more of an asshole then intended. He actually was happy to see her, much to his own surprise. She wasn’t wearing ten million different layers of clothing, and the air about her was calm, like she had just woken up from a good night’s rest. She just looked...different. “Your clothes are not dirty. Good.” Dennis relaxed a bit and gave her the barest, but gentle, smile.

“Hello Dennis,” she replied softly, and his name on her lips was like a kiss and a punch all at once. She also wasted no time with pleasantries. “A lot more people have died.”

The earnestness as she said it, like he didn’t know what had been happening, it bothered him. “Well…” he looked away, ashamed.

“You have to give up the light. The Horde has to give up control of the light,” Casey continued. “Otherwise they’re never going to let you out of here! You have to listen to this doctor!”

Dennis could hear Barry gasp softly in the darkness. _“Babygirl, why are you so worried about us?”_ the smaller man murmured.

Dennis had no idea how to respond to her plea. Why the hell did she care? Shouldn’t she want them to stay locked up? He could not rationalize her actions, and instead did what he always did best when someone was making him feel lost and confused: he went on defense.

“The doc tells lies,” he growled, trying to sound convincing, but as far as he was concerned, he shared Casey’s fear. “The Beast is the highest form of human evolution!”

Casey wasn’t convinced. “Did Patricia tell you to say that?”

The room was getting hotter, discomfort worming its way into Dennis’s stomach. He tried again. “The Beast will show the world that the broken are more evolved, he will start a revolution-”

Before Dr. Staple could stop her, Casey was down in front of him, gently grasping his arm like a prayer, like she could make him understand by touch alone. “Dennis, you guys are gonna die in here.”

Instinctively he drew back, but then immediately relaxed into her touch, drinking the affection in like a lifeline. “Casey…” he breathed, scarcely unable to comprehend that this girl that he had kidnapped and terrorized was on her knees begging him to help Kevin, help himself.

Suddenly he lurched, his eyes widening in surprise as he felt Kevin stir deep, deep inside. The original felt the shift, the spark of light in Dennis, so much so that it had awoken him. “OH SHI-“ Dennis gasped, but before he knew it he was kicked back from the light, the lingering sensation of Casey gently grasping their hand the last thing he felt.

His mind was spinning. What had just happened? Kevin never came to the light willingly, why was he here now? Did Dennis somehow signal that it was safe to come out? But an answer would have to wait. He, along with the others, listened intently to Casey explain how she had found the strength to turn her uncle in for abusing her, how he had hurt her just like Kevin’s mom had hurt them.

“We’re the same?” Kevin offered breathlessly, like he could hardly believe he was making a connection with another human being. Casey nodded in agreement.

The System exploded with cheers and Dennis could feel the swell of their pleasure so intensely it hurt, but inside he felt like he was losing his mind. Not only was she not afraid of the Horde, but she had come to try to aide them, comfort them. Kindness like that wasn’t real, was it?

He sensed Patricia come alongside him, and he could tell she was displeased before she even spoke. “That brazen child, she won’t stop making a nuisance of herself! First the Beast spared her as sacred food, and now Kevin is taking the light willingly. If we’re not careful, she could be the end of everything we’ve worked so hard for.”

Dennis wasn’t sure he agreed, and his thoughts were pulling him in ten thousand different directions. He needed time alone to think, but in an effort to placate Patricia he set his jaw and nodded at her imperceptibly. He didn’t need her nagging him while he had all this new information to parse through. All he was 100% sure of right now was that his reality looked a hell of a lot different than it did this morning. He had to get away, to be somewhere quiet. The others were still celebrating the emergence of Kevin and the olive branch extended by Casey, so he was able to slip further back into the darkness without being noticed.

With a sigh, he sat in his chair and nervously rubbed his hands over his face. What the hell was he going to do? He knew that if he listened to Casey and betrayed the Horde, Barry would accept the help. He may not be happy about it, and definitely would not forgive Dennis, but he wouldn’t turn away any offer of assistance. Dennis was easily the strongest out of all of them, if he added to their efforts of getting Kevin into the light for good, well, he didn’t see failure being a possibility.

Of course, once the Beast was snuffed out and Patricia overthrown, Dennis knew he would be chained up in the darkness again. He was already in the doghouse with the others before the Horde attempted their revolution, he was fairly certain he was despised by them all at this point. He didn’t care though. All he cared about, all he ever cared about, was taking care of Kevin. That often meant his own suffering, but trying to run from his pain is what got them into this mess in the first place. Tools do not complain when they are used. A nail does not cry when it is beaten and bent into place, it is there to strengthen and support, nothing more. Dennis had forgotten his purpose, and the Beast had been born. If he surrendered to Barry and let Dr. Staple treat them, maybe Kevin would be helped. Hell, maybe they would even have a friend in Casey, he considered wryly. Dennis hadn’t had a single friend his entire life and the thought of one made him both pathetically desperate and hopeful.

On the other hand, if he stuck it out with the Horde, it was inevitable that they would escape Raven Hill and regain their freedom. Obviously they could never stop running, settle down, have some semblance of normalcy, but Dennis and Patricia had taken that choice from the rest of them once they allowed the Beast to emerge.

Whatever he chose, he realized he had to be the one to live with the consequences. His sins, his burden to bear.

Fortunately for Dennis, he was not as alone as he thought. His first glimmer of hope lay right around the corner, in a form he never would have expected: Barry.


	2. Dennis's Inferno

_You said you wanted evolution_  
_The ape was a great big hit_  
_You said you wanted revolution, man_  
_And I say that you're full of shit_

_-Marilyn Manson "Disposable Teens"_

**Day 5 at Raven Hill**

“Dennis.”

A day had passed since Casey’s visit, and Barry wouldn’t stop looking at Dennis smugly, like he knew all along how this was gonna go down. It was annoying as shit and made Dennis want to strangle the other man.

In a lot of ways the two were similar, and that fact drove Dennis even crazier. It was his job to protect Kevin, to keep him from being hurt. In the event he failed (and he failed so much more often then he could bear), Barry stepped in and consoled their host, to talk him down from whatever dark place his mind was headed. The two of them together were Kevin's last line of defense against complete despair, possibly even suicide, so they took their roles very seriously. Naturally everyone was drawn to the good-natured Barry, making him the de facto leader of the identities, and Dennis low key despised him for it. It must be nice to let others take on the pain so you could live in the light and be loved.

As it was, he did not want to be having this conversation right now. “Whatever you have to say, I don’t want to hear it, Barry.”

“Please, I heard what ya said to the doctor.”

Shifting in his chair, Dennis turned to fully look at the other alter, brow furrowing in annoyance. “Since when have you been able to listen in when I have the light?”

“The closer the others and I are able to get Kevin to the surface, the easier it is for all of us to hear what’s going on at any given time.” Dennis looked shocked, but Barry shrugged. “What, did you expect us to do nothing while you and Patricia ran our lives into the ground?”

Dennis ran his hand over his scalp, frustrated. “Alright. And what exactly is it you thought you heard me say to Dr. Staple?”

Barry looked at him with so much compassion it made Dennis’s stomach knot up. “That you’re tired of all the death. You never wanted this to happen.”

Hearing the admission come from someone else’s mouth made Dennis wince. He thought if he kept repeating Patricia’s reassurances to himself, he would find himself soothed. It wasn’t working though. If anything, Casey coming to see them made the regret worse, and Dennis had yet to disentangle himself from the various directions he found himself being pulled in. He looked Barry in the eyes. “Do you believe that?”

The question took Barry by surprise. “Why does it matter what I believe? You know what I’ve thought about this Horde nonsense since day one.”

Dennis stood up from his chair and crossed his arms, turning to face the other man. “No, not that. Do you believe that I have regrets?”

Barry studied Dennis carefully, and chose his words even more so. “I think you’ve only ever had the best intentions, but you lost your way a long time ago. You’ve been so busy playing a part for Kevin that you forgot you were just as much a person as he is.”

The words stung more than if he had been called a despicable monster, but Dennis just worked his jaw and nodded. He had nothing to offer in his own defense.

Not willing to drop the point, Barry probed further. “So why? Why did you do it?”

Dennis just shrugged. Again, he had no defense, not one he actually believed in anymore. He just had platitudes. “You’ve seen the Beast. You know how strong he is, he can keep us safe.”

Barry quirked an eyebrow. “I thought that was your job.”

There was an instant change in atmosphere. The whole of Kevin’s consciousness flooded with rage, so much so it was suffocating, and Barry was terrified the Beast was about to emerge. Instead, he watched Dennis stare him down with burning eyes, a snarl warping his face. “That IS my job; it’s been my job for 29 years! Did it ever occur to you, or the others, that maybe it was getting to be too much for me? That maybe I needed some HELP?”

The realization that he never had made Barry flush with shame. When he replied, it was in a small voice. “You’re so private with your thoughts; you don’t let any of us in when you have the light. How could we have known it was bothering you when you never say anything?”

A groan escaped Dennis without his meaning to. “Don’t you get it? I don’t let you see because I don’t want you to see, if it’s too much for me, how will any of you all fare?” He fell back into his chair, anger quickly spent. “But the Beast, he can handle it. He can take the memories from me and let me rest. He can be everything Kevin needs him to be. Everything WE need him to be,” he added quietly.

Barry almost hit him. “Are you listening to yourself? You’re nuts. What can the Beast give us that we actually want? What has that rampaging idiot cost us?” He began to count off of his fingers like he was reciting a simple grocery list, and Dennis squirmed uncomfortably in his chair. “I’ll tell you: our job, our freedom, our sole friend in Dr. Fletcher, and that’s only the beginning! The blood spilled under the Horde’s watch is never going away. We have to live with this for the rest of our lives, and I know for a fact now that you hate it just as much as I do.”

Dennis didn’t respond, so Barry walked up to him, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Would it help if you shared some of your memories with me? You shouldn’t have to be the only one to carry it all.”

Ah, there it was, Barry to the rescue, Barry the hero. Dennis lurched away angrily, startling him. “You don’t know what you’re asking,” Dennis mumbled, refusing to look at the younger man.

Barry gave a humorless laugh. “You’re right, I have absolutely zero idea. But I’m asking anyway.”

Exhaling, Dennis’s shoulders sagged. There was no denying the request, not anymore. As much as it made him feel like a failure, the offer of help was too appealing, and he was weak and only getting weaker.“Fine. Come with me into the light. I’ll show you there.”

Both men surfaced cautiously to the forefront of Kevin’s consciousness, and Barry suppressed a grin as they got closer to the light and heard Hedwig doing his very best Nicki Minaj impersonation. “I’m a motherfucking monster!” he yelled, pretending to crawl on the walls around their room.

“Hey monster, I’m coming up,” Dennis called out. “I’m bringing Barry with me, so let him through.”

The order gave Hedwig pause. “But Miss Patricia said that if I let Mr. Barry into the light-“

Dennis cut him off. “Kid, Barry and I have to talk about something really important. Something Beast related, ok? So do me a favor and keep all the others away from us, this is private.”

Hedwig gasped with excitement at the idea of secrets, and Dennis, realizing his mistake, closed his eyes in frustration while Barry groaned.

“Oh secret meetings! Can I stay too Mr. Dennis? I’ve gotten really good at keeping secrets!” Hedwig was practically bouncing on the bed in excitement.

“Nah Hedwig, this is grownup talk,” Barry interjected gently, trying to get ahead of what was sure to be a tantrum.

“But..but…that’s not fair, I’m NEVER going to be a grownup! When do I get to have grownup talks?”

“Hedwig-“

“Let me stay and I’ll tell you what our super hero alter ego name is!” he begged, offering the only bargaining chip he thought he held.

Unfortunately for Hedwig, the thought of another alter made Barry burst out laughing. “Isn’t 24 identities enough for us?” he snickered.

He didn’t mean to be cruel, but Hedwig took it as mockery and started to cry. “This is why I never let you in the light, Mr. Barry! I’m so sick of everyone making fun of me!”

If Dennis were in a more lighthearted mood, he would have felt pleasure at the fact that Mr. Social Butterfly had just put his foot into their collective mouth, but the gravity of what he was about to do was weighing heavy, and Hedwig’s crying was upsetting. “Hedwig. If you’ve ever trusted me even a little bit, you’ll listen to me right now.” His voice was so uncharacteristically tender that the boy immediately stopped crying. “I have to tell Barry about Kevin’s mom, alright? You don’t want to hear about that, do you?”

The mention of Mrs. Crumb made Hedwig curl in on himself, clutching his knees to his chest. “No, I don’t like that lady. She’s meaner than the Joker and Thanos combined, etcetera.”

Dennis nodded sagely. “I know. That’s why I need you to go deep into Kevin, and keep everyone else away from the light, alright? Even Miss Patricia. You have to help me keep them safe; you’re the only one that is strong enough. Please.”

For a moment Hedwig looked from Barry to Dennis and back again, as though trying to decide if they were telling him the truth. Then a grin broke out on his face. “Yeah, I can do that!” Pleased with his new role as a co-conspirator with the adults, Hedwig happily allowed the two older alters to take the light.

Blinking into consciousness, the pair could see that in between his playing pretend and singing, Hedwig had been drawing gory comic book scenes with colored pencils that the hospital staff had provided for him.

Ever the artist, Barry gingerly picked them up for inspection. “Ok, this is disturbing, but you’ve gotta admit he’s got some of my talent,” he announced proudly, pointing to rather well drawn scene of the Beast decapitating what he assumed was the Overseer, cloaked head falling to the ground.

Dennis grunted. “Yeah great, Patricia and I turned the kid into a psychopath, and they’re never going to let us out of here.” He sighed impatiently, “Can we just get this over with?”

“Good lord, are you ever not miserable? I’m doing this to help you, why are ya so tight?” Barry rolled his eyes.

“Because, and I want you to understand this before I show you,” Dennis paused to make sure he had Barry’s full attention. “This is going to be really unpleasant, and there’s nothing I can do to stop that. But I wish I could, more than anything. I need you to believe that.”

The gravity of what Dennis said pressed down on the younger alter, but he put on a brave face. “It’s going to be ok, Dennis. Let me see. Please.”

Resigning himself to his next action, Dennis integrated himself fully into the light and sat crossed legged on their bed, back resting against the wall. He took a few deep breaths and crossed his arms in an unconscious attempt to shield them both from what was about to happen. “You ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

Trying to relax and yet keep a pin on Barry wasn’t easy, and it took Dennis a few minutes to calm down enough to access the parts of himself that he had long ago tried to bury.

Images began to flash out from his subconscious, and he tried to ride them out until he realized, to his horror, that something was wrong. More and more memories were coming through and he couldn’t control them. He fought in vain to stem the tide, but it wouldn’t stop. There were too many cracks in his wall, and it was coming crashing down on them both. Panicking, he grit his teeth down to the point he heard a crack, but the pain in his mouth was nothing compared to the scenes that were assaulting them both.

Barry wasn’t faring much better. He was prepared to see some awful things, but what he witnessed went beyond that. As Dennis sunk them both deeper and deeper into his memories, the tide of darkness that surrounded them become denser and crueler, until it was no longer just darkness but filth that threatened to sweep them away.

Trying to get a foothold amidst the deluge of misery and pain that battered him, Barry steeled himself against the suffering that was inside them all, the suffering the others couldn’t even begin to comprehend. The memories were so horrible, so wrong, that even Dennis, their great defender, could only hold onto fragments as they flashed through Barry’s mind:

_Being forced to lick up blood, then the resulting mess of vomit_

_Swollen eyes, sclera the color of red and yellow_

_Trying frantically to remove a knife pinned into soft flesh_

_Skin sloughing off from third degree burns_

_Being used up in a way no teenage boy should be used by his mother_

Suddenly, Barry was aware of the light, and it was the most beautiful sensation ever; he could breathe again. He noticed offhand that there was the taste of vomit between his teeth and a sharp pain from where Dennis had cracked a tooth, but he still could have cried with joy.

When he was finally back in control of his senses, he looked around to see they were kneeling on the ground, Dennis desperately trying to clean up vomit with some of Headwig’s drawing paper. They had gone through Hell together, and Dennis was more fazed by the mess on the floor then his memories. Barry had puked all over the poor OCD addled man, and it wasn’t even his experiences he was reliving. “Dennis!” he gasped, and he could feel the other man cringe.

“Barry, I am so sorry, that got completely out of my control, I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“Oh honey, don’t you worry about that. I had no idea…I….” he trailed off, the horror of the situation dawning on him. Dennis had taken all that evil onto himself for years, living through it, trying to make sense of the senseless, and how had they all thanked him? They ostracized him, shunned him, afraid his brokenness would make life inconvenient or messy. No wonder he was desperate enough to let a Beast take over, it would have driven Barry to madness years ago. “I didn’t know it was that bad, none of us did, I swear!”

He could feel Dennis smile grimly. “That just means I did my job.”

“No, it’s not…” he was having trouble even putting a sentence together, everything was so overwhelming. “That will never, ever be ok. I’m sorry Dennis, I can’t even begin to put into words how sorry I am. I knew she hurt us real bad, she must have, right? But I had so very few memories of her.. and now..” he shuddered, the images of anguish flaring up again. “I’m going to have trouble sleeping for a long, long time. Dennis, how did you hold us together for so long?”

Dennis swallowed hard, the lump in their throat painfully stuck, and he looked at Barry with eyes full of unshed tears. “You don’t think I’m disgusting? What I did?”

The thought that Dennis felt responsible for even the smallest part of the abuse they suffered made Barry see red. “Don’t you ever say that again! Anything you did, you did to survive, you did it to keep us alive. You’re not disgusting, babyboy, she was.”

Dennis shuddered; something breaking open in him that he wasn’t even aware existed. Acceptance from the most beloved alter meant more to him than he was ever capable of admitting to himself. In the past they had rarely seen eye to eye, and he never realized up until that point that he held so much respect for Barry.

His relief was short lived, though. “I’m also the one that fucked up our lives beyond salvaging.” He sat back down on their bed dejectedly, grinding his palms into his eyebrows. He felt like shit.

Barry wasn’t sure how to respond. It was true that he didn’t see an easy way out of their situation, but he was also sure that it wasn’t the time or the place to worry about that. Lord knew they had plenty of free time to contemplate at Raven Hill. Instead, he just gently started to help Dennis get back on his feet, murmuring for him to sleep, to recuperate.

“You let me worry about our fucked up life for a while,” he smiled ruefully. “I meant what I said. If we’re going to fix this, we have to work together from now on. I’ll hold the light, maybe try and puzzle out some ideas with Orwell. Just….” He paused, and Dennis looked at him before fully giving up the light. “Just…promise me, are ya done with the Horde? With the Beast?”

The silence before Barry got a response seemed to stretch on for eternity, and their shared heartbeat could be heard pounding in his ears.

Dennis realized his time was up and he had to make a choice. Weak from exhaustion, tired of being used, he nonetheless gathered himself to make his voice a roar, one that all of the System could hear. “Not one more person dies on my watch!” he swore. “You hear me, Patricia?! It’s over, no more!”

Patricia didn’t answer, she didn’t have to. In the far recesses of Kevin, furious thunder answered him back, the Beast screaming in rage at the betrayal.

“Oh shit,” Barry breathed out, eyes widening at the challenge that was issued.

Dennis didn’t have the inclination or the energy to get into a confrontation at the moment, so he headed for the darkness, away from the light.

“Mr. Dennis?”

Barry and Dennis started, and turned to see Hedwig cowering behind them.

“What is it Hedwig?” Dennis felt like he was about to fall over from fatigue, but he adored the boy, and wasn’t going to leave without making sure he was alright.

Hedwig moved cautiously to Dennis and reached for his hand with his own trembling ones. “What did you and Mr. Barry talk about?” he whispered in a strangled voice. “Why are you mad at the Beast?”

“I…” Dennis pinched the bridge of his nose, not sure how to explain his change of heart to Hedwig. He looked to Barry, but Barry just shrugged his shoulders helplessly. It’s not like Hedwig listened to him, anyway. So Dennis tried again. “What the Beast is asking us to do, it’s too much. We’re hurting too many people.”

The explanation made no sense to Hedwig. “I thought they were food.”

“No, they are not food. Miss Patricia and I were wrong, and we told ourselves lies so that we would feel better about what we were doing. But people aren’t food, Hedwig. The Beast doesn’t get to kill them just because he says so.”

“So why were you helping him?”

Dennis sighed. It was just like a child to ask questions when you needed them to shut up and listen. His confusion was understandable though. “I was weak. I wasn’t strong like you all needed me to be. I was…selfish.”

The admission made Hedwig furrow his brows, just like he always saw Dennis do. “Did you change your mind ‘cause of Casey?”

“Well,” Dennis glanced at Barry, hoping he didn’t notice the color rising in his cheeks. “Casey…has helped give some clarity to my thoughts, yes.”

Before he could elaborate further, they heard the Beast roar again, this time closer. Dennis moved to take the light fully, to protect Barry and the others in case the Horde was making a move, but Barry would have none of it. “It’s my turn to be strong for Kevin,” he reassured, despite the doubt he was feeling. “Besides, if we’re going to beat the Horde, we need you well rested.”

It was all true, but Dennis didn’t like the situation one bit. “Fine. But if Patricia tries something…”

Barry snorted. “Patricia can’t do anything without Hedwig. Isn’t that right, doll?”

With the look Hedwig shot Barry, it was clear that he didn’t trust him.

Dennis knelt down so he could be eye level with the boy. “It’s not fair for us to have to ask you this, but your power is so special that it can’t be helped.” Hedwig’s eyes widened and his expression of awe was almost enough to make Dennis smile, but he kept his expression steady so Hedwig would understand the gravity of the situation. “I need you to be strong and use that power to keep Patricia out of the light until I figure out how to fix this mess we made, alright?”

Eyes filling with tears, Hedwig was devastated. “I hafta fight Miss Patricia?”

“Just until we get her to understand we can’t use our powers to hurt anymore. She’s stubborn as hell, but smart. She’ll come around, kid.”

Hedwig remained uncharacteristically quiet, obviously unconvinced. Dennis had to pull out the big guns. “If you help me and Barry, I bet Casey would come back to visit us. Would you like to see Casey again?”

Eyes lighting up, Hedwig started jumping around in excitement. “Casey! And when she comes back we can draw together, and watch some movies, and play games, etcetera…” he trailed off, elation clearly overwhelming his faculties and Dennis felt a stab of grief. He didn’t know how to tell the boy that there probably wouldn’t be movies and games for a long, long time. Not unless…

He shook the thoughts from his mind, not even daring to entertain hope. He was sore and tired and it would do no one any good to make plans while half asleep.

Barry noticed and smiled. “For god’s sake, get some rest. We’ll talk more when you're feeling better, alright? Hedwig and me, we got this.” He winked at the child, and Hedwig burst into a grin.

“Yeah! Mr. Barry and I are gonna hold onto the light until you get back, don’t worry Mr. Dennis!”


	3. Into the Ninth Circle

_They didn’t know anything about me_   
_ Of my wild greed_   
_ But when you came to me_   
_ I became an animal_   
_ No thought for afterwards_   
_ When I broke your bones_

_-Wumpscut "Totmacher"_

Today was it, Dennis could feel it throughout his entire body. This was the day Mr. Glass wanted them to escape, and it was inevitable that a showdown with the Horde would occur. Despite his earlier oath that he would no longer work in service of the Beast, Patricia had come to him again and again-pleading, threatening, and promising if only he would come back to the fold.

Dennis only regarded her with stony faced silence. They had to know by now he was lost to their cause, but he didn’t want his plans with Barry and Orwell to be made evident. Part of those plans had required Hedwig to pretend to still be loyal to the Horde, but as this was an actual secret that the adults let him in on, he played the part well.

It was a simple enough plan. After the Beast broke them out of Raven Hill, Hedwig would steal the light and hand it over to Dennis before the Horde tried to force their ridiculous fight with David Dunn, or even worse, get someone else killed. They were unsure if Patricia had confided in Mr. Glass about Dennis’s change of heart, and if so, they might be walking into a trap. It couldn’t be helped, though. Besides, Dennis had a contingency plan. It was 100% fucking insane, but he was willing to try anything to save Kevin’s soul. To save his soul.

"Male parta male dilabuntur," Orwell had told him when Barry officially announced to the others that Dennis had renounced the Horde.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dennis inquired, nervously adjusting his glasses, expecting it to be some sort of esoteric rebuke.

Instead, Orwell just smiled sadly at the other man. “It means that we have a chance to fix this, but it probably won’t be pleasant, or even easy.”

Well, that went without saying. But all they could do for the moment was watch and wait until Glass gave the signal, and fortunately they didn't have to wait long. The Beast was on the move, wounded from Dennis's betrayal and Patricia's lack of faith, courtesy of Dr. Staple. He was eager to prove to the world that the broken were now on the top of the food chain, and Mr. Glass was eager to let him.

The two made their escape rather easily, Patricia wheeling Glass through the basement floor of the hospital. Some guards were eventually alerted to the suspicious pair, but the Beast came through and made short work of them. Freedom was just outside the door, and Dennis had his chance. While the Beast was distracted with his triumph over the guards, Hedwig forced his way through to the light, only to quickly turn it over to Dennis. 

"Nice job Hedwig," Dennis praised the beaming child. “That went way easier than I expected.”

Still on high alert for a trap, Dennis nodded to Mr. Glass, letting him know that he was now the one holding the light, and pushed them out the doorway, their way to liberation.

If Glass was aware that Dennis was no longer on his side, he didn’t show it, and that made Dennis increasingly nervous. He wasn’t the only one, and he could feel some of the other alters’ agitated pacing near the light. _“Did we make it?”" _Barry asked impatiently, but Dennis shushed him. He needed all his wits about him right now.

“That’s the vehicle we’ll be taking to Osaka Tower,” Glass pointed to a Raven Hill Memorial Transit Van when they got out into the parking lot. “Here,” he threw a set of keys to Dennis. “Go get our boy some food.”

Dennis observed Mr. Glass gravely. He seemed in no real hurry to leave the hospital grounds, and that sent all sorts of alarm bells off in the guardian’s head. It was obvious Glass was up to something, but hell if Dennis knew what that was.

Still, he was just given keys to a working vehicle. He didn’t know that looking for a sacrifice was going to be in the cards, but maybe this was just Mr. Glass testing him. It didn’t matter though. As soon as they got far enough away from Raven Hill, Dennis could just let any would be victims out of the van, preferably stranding Glass before them, and get Kevin far, far away from this insanity.

Now there was just the issue of finding “food”.

Hospital alarms began sounding, apparently the security guards had been found. Dennis prayed that at least some of them were still breathing, but knew to expect the worst. At least this time it was in self defense. He needed to hurry, though.

And....ah, right there. Two women were walking right towards him, nervously glancing around, trying to figure out what the alarms were all about. Their uniforms read “volunteer”. Young. Easy marks.

Still unsure if Glass was suspicious of foul play, Dennis blocked the women and herded them to the back of the Ford. He didn’t waste his breath trying to comfort them, to let them know everything would be alright. Words were meaningless when actions screamed violence, and he had no way of convincing them it was all an act. At least they would be safer inside the vehicle, hidden away from the struggle if things started to go south.

After tossing them inside, he slammed the doors shut and turned to confront Glass. “How many people are going to die today?” he pleaded, hoping against hope that the idea of mass carnage might sway the mastermind.

Unfortunately the other man just stared back at him coldly, zero emotion evident on his face.

“I’m not doing this anymore,” Dennis announced, and saying it out loud to another person felt so good he almost laughed with relief. “I don’t care what Patricia says, I’m not doing it!”

Suddenly, the telltale sensation of being kicked from the light tickled the back of his mind, and panic began to rise. “Hedwig is taking the light,” he gasped out in warning before he was forced back into his chair.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” the little boy had impulsively just decided the cost was clear and that he could reemerge, not realizing the ramifications of his actions. Dennis hadn’t even had a chance to get them away yet.

The System was thrown into a panic, those loyal to Kevin shouting at Hedwig to relinquish control before the Beast could act, the Horde making a push for dominance. Despite their diminished numbers with Dennis’s betrayal, the Beast was still the most powerful alter, and emerged from the chaos easily to take the light.

After a few minutes, the sounds of the Overseer and the Beast exchanging blows became apparent (_when did Dunn show up?,_ Dennis briefly wondered to himself) and the wailing of sirens started to go off in the distance. All hell was breaking loose, and their chance of escape grew smaller and smaller.

“Young man, just what did you think you were doing?!” Mr. Pritchard yelled. “You just opened the door for the Beast to come through, and not even you can reclaim the light now!”

All the negative attention being directed towards him caused Hedwig to cower in a corner, eyes wide with fear. Barry came to the rescue, scooping him up and running over to Dennis, Orwell, and Mary, who were currently in the middle of an argument over what their next step should be.

“Hold strong!” Orwell was yelling. “When the Persians rose up against the Greeks in 490 BC, the Greeks were sorely outnumbered, but-“

“Not th’ time Orwell!” Mary snapped.

The man scoffed at her. “My dear, what time is better for war stories if not in the middle of battle?”

“How about we save the history lessons for when we’re not being shot at?” Barry retorted, putting Hedwig down gently at their feet. “It’s ok kiddo, you didn’t know,” he whispered to the boy, then stood up to face the others. “Can anyone see what’s going on out there? The Beast is too strong; he’s blocking me from looking.”

They all nodded in the affirmative, and Dennis clenched his jaw, determined. “Plan B. The Beast only respects suffering and violence. I think it’s time to start talking to it in its own language.”

Barry eyed him warily. “You want us to push out the Beast for good? The only one who could do that is Kevin, and we haven’t been able to stabilize him yet. If by some miracle we got him to the light, it would probably only get us killed.”

Dennis shook his head. “No, this isn’t Kevin’s problem to fix, it’s mine.”

This caused an uneasy silence between the others, and they glanced at each other nervously until Mary spoke up. “That will work, so will it? Ye know there’s no love lost between us, Dennis. But you’re a part ah Kevin, an’ we need ye. If ye go head to head with th’ Beast and lose, it’s over for us all. An’ don't ye know ye will lose?”

His nostrils flared in irritation, but Dennis didn’t protest. He knew she was correct.

“But…” Mary continued, “Th’ Beast might be able tae beat ye one on one, but could he take on all of us now?”

Barry scratched the side of his face in thought. Every part of him was screaming to just go back into the dark, to wait until everything blew over and they had time to lick their wounds. It’s what he had been doing since the first emergence of the Beast, and thus far they had managed to stay healthy and alive.

Unfortunately for him, the loss of even one more life at their hands would be unbearable, and he knew the others felt the same. The time for hiding was over. Dennis had made his choice, now it was his turn.

“I think I have an idea,” he admitted, licking his lips nervously. “You’re going to hate it, so let me finish before you make your protests,” he quickly added, and one by one they all nodded their agreement.

Barry was right, they did hate it. They hated it, and swore then and there that they would do their best to carry it out and see it through to the end. For Kevin’s sake.

* * *

Freezing water was swirling all around David Dunn, and he fought to keep his brain from shutting down in terror as he defended himself against the fury of the Beast. Despite witnessing his raw power up close beforehand, it still chilled David to think how the wounded, crying man called Kevin could turn into the unnatural thing he was in a death struggle with.

The Beast knew of David’s fear of water, and grinned wickedly as he reached out to tear the other’s throat open. Dunn panicked and started to slam into the back of the water tank they were trapped in, making the mistake of turning his back and taking his eyes off of the creature for a second.

He felt powerful arms wrap around his chest from behind, as the monster pulled him closer, a death embrace. Almost tenderly the Beast brought his lips to the back of Dunn’s head and smiled against his skin. “Rest now,” the Beast murmured into him, and blind panic at the thought of a watery grave filled David with a second wind.

A satisfying crack that was felt more than heard accompanied David’s head smashing into the Beast’s nose, and his enemy roared back in surprise. Dunn pressed his advantage and wrapped his hands around the Beast’s throat, trying to crush his windpipe.

In a move purely motivated by survival, the Beast swiped at Dunn’s eyes, then fluidly turned and punched a hole through the water tank. He would lose the advantage of using David’s fear against him, but he could reclaim the high ground easily enough.

As soon as they burst through the tank, the armored police who had swiftly arrived at Raven Hill began shooting at them, and the Beast got down on all fours to move more effortlessly amongst the turmoil.

He was halfway up the east block of Raven Hill when he shuddered, sensing that something was wrong. It felt like his limbs were losing their strength, and too late he realized he was somehow losing his grip on the light. This had never happened before.

Looking around the makeshift battlefield, he spied a familiar dark haired girl among the police and panicking doctors, and by instinct headed towards the one person that felt like a semblance of safety. He could hear her calling to him, calling out Kevin’s name like it was a mantra to ward off further ruin.

For her part, Casey saw the Beast coming for her from across the parking lot, and gasped as she witnessed him fall off the wall he was traversing. Dodging the police cars and gunman, she was able to make her way to where she had seen him land before anyone else reached him.

When she arrived, she found not the Beast but Patricia lying there, panting in surprise and pain. It was clear she didn’t understand why she was now holding the light, and as Casey got closer, she noted that a shinbone was protruding out of her left leg.

“Casey!” Patricia gasped, struggling to sit up and examine the extent of her injury. “Casey, what’s going on? Why am I here? What has happened to the Beast?” There was an edge of creeping panic to her voice, like at any moment she was about to have a complete breakdown.

Quickly kneeling besides her, Casey looked to see if there was anything she could do for the broken bone. Long ago her father had taught her a great extent of first aid skills, but she could see nothing that would act as a splint in a pinch. “I don’t know what’s going on Patricia, but we need to get you out of here, fast. There are so many cops here, and I heard them being told to shoot to kill.”

Looping Patricia’s right arm over her shoulder, Casey struggled to get them both on their feet. Patricia was still a woman in a large man’s body, and it took everything Casey had not to fall over. Patricia rested her head on Casey’s shoulder, closing her eyes against the pain. “Dennis,” she hissed. “I bet that traitor is involved somehow.”

This gave Casey pause, and she spared a glance at the other woman. “Why would Dennis do this? Is he not working with the Horde anymore?”

The look Patricia gave Casey was ice cold, but she bit back the scathing response that worked its way up her throat. The young woman was currently the only thing between herself and certain death, and she was not going to push her luck. “Don’t worry about him now, dove, let’s find somewhere to hide, if you please.”

Casey turned her attention back to surviving in this new current nightmare, but could not stop wondering about Dennis. The last time she had seen him, he had sounded so confident in his declarations of loyalty to the Horde, so what had happened between then and now? She determined to find out as soon as they got out of this mess. If they got out of it.

Currently they weren’t being pursued. It looked like the men in black body armor and Dr. Staple were having a confrontation with David Dunn and his son Joseph. Casey didn’t know how much time that would buy them. “I’m not sure where we can go Patricia; they must have an entire army barracks out here looking for the Beast.”

Spying a van that was used for patient transportation much further down the parking lot, Patricia indicated that that was where they should be heading. “Over there. I can’t imagine the authorities will be giving us much time to recover. Quick as you like now.”

Grunting, Casey half dragged them over to the far side of the vehicle and allowed Patricia to lean against the trunk while she heaved the door open. It took a few moments to get them both inside and lying down to avoid detection, but as soon as they were situated, Patricia grabbed Casey’s hand, surprising the younger woman. “I’m going to leave the light and try to figure out what is going on. If Dennis, Barry, or any of the others attempt to take control, kindly remind them that the Beast is our only way out of this that does not involve a body bag.”

Unsure of how to feel about being left alone, Casey nodded numbly and watched as Patricia winked out of the light.

After a few tense moments, it seemed that no one else would be coming to claim the light for themselves. Kevin almost looked peaceful, like he was sleeping. Not sure what else to do, Casey lay down by his side and prayed Patricia would find help quickly.

* * *

“SUBMIT!”

Patricia heard Dennis before she was able to see what was going on, and when she discovered the others, she found herself in the grip of both rage and fear.

Rage, because Dennis had the Beast lying prone, his knee driving her god further into the ground, arms yanked behind his back. Barry, Heinrich, and Orwell were assisting him, and if she could have at that moment, she would have killed them all for their insolence.

Fear, because it looked like the Horde was losing, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Jade, Luke, Nora, all the others who had eventually come around to the gospel of the Beast were nowhere to be found. Were they also apostates, or had they been cast into the darkness like she and Dennis originally were?

“Dennis you fool, you’re going to get us all killed!” she shrieked, storming up to her former partner. “How did you force me to take the light? Where is Hedwig?” She looked around momentarily for the boy, but Hedwig was nowhere in sight, the adults insisting he be far away from their confrontation with the Beast.

Encouraged by the fact that his priestess was now by his side, the Beast turned to look at Dennis over his shoulder, hate filling his black eyes. “Release me! You don’t know what you are doing!”

“I know exactly what I’m doing,” Dennis retorted. “I should have never let you out. Submit to the will of the System and we will let you live. Keep struggling and you die.”

The Beast made a noise and it was unclear if it was a snarl or laughter. “If I die, we all die!”

Dennis glared at him from over top of his glasses, unimpressed with the threat. “Better dead than live our lives as a serial killer.”

Gathering his strength for one last attempt at freedom, the Beast bucked a few times, finally managing to throw Dennis off of his back and quickly jumped to his feet, biting and snapping at all who got too close. “Who are you to make that choice for Kevin?” he snarled. “Who are you to make that choice for any of us?”

Momentarily stunned from hitting the ground hard, Dennis propped himself up on his elbows. “Kevin asked to die the first time we allowed you to kill.” The memory still filled him with shame. “I know this, you know this. I am the first born, and it is my responsibility to set things right. We’re ending this today.”

To everyone’s surprise, it was Patricia, not the Beast, who charged at Dennis. He was still picking himself up off the ground and she caught him off guard, toppling him over again. Enraged, she wrapped her hands around his throat, but while she was by no means a small woman, she didn’t stand a chance against the System’s protector.

He quickly overpowered her and stood back up, taking her with him. He grabbed her by the wrists and pulled them up over her head, rendering her helpless. “It’s over, Patricia. Give it up.”

“You foolish child,” she snarled in his face. “Kevin is currently lying in the back of a van bleeding out from a multi-split fracture. The cops will be here to kill us any second, not to say anything of your beloved Casey!”

Dennis’s face fell. “Casey? What is she doing here?”

“She obviously cares about Kevin, you spineless prat! Is this how you’re going to reward her loyalty? Death?”

Head spinning, Dennis didn’t notice in time that the Beast had advanced upon him, and he was launched into the air with a powerful uppercut. “You would let our pure, broken Casey die for your pride?” the Beast taunted, preparing another blow.

The idea of Casey dying at all filled Dennis with a primal sense of injustice, the same injustice he felt all throughout his life as he saw other children with normal, loving families. Casey was now one of them, by her own admission, and he wouldn’t let her be hurt ever again.

“No.” Dennis struggled to get to his knees, then his feet, wiping away blood pouring from his nose. “Casey isn’t going to die. You and I are going to get her out of here, and then you’re going into the darkness and never coming out again.”

The Beast found this amusing. “How do you intend to make me, weak man?” Grabbing Dennis by the neck, he lifted him easily off of the ground.

“Mr. Dennis!” The cry echoed throughout the room, and no one was prepared for little Hedwig to come charging in and start throwing punches, landing ineffective blows on the Beast’s lower back.

Enraged, the Beast reached with his free hand to grab the boy, but Orwell decided the distraction was an opportune moment to intervene, and he jumped on the bigger man, trying to get an arm around his throat. Then there was Barry, and Ian, and Samuel, and soon all the alters loyal to Kevin were on top of the Beast, dragging him down. He was rendered immobile within a few tense minutes.

On his knees but still defiant, the Beast spit at their feet. “So it takes all of you to restrain me. Again I ask, how do you intend to force me to serve your will?”

In what felt like a lifetime ago, Dennis had read Dr. Fletcher’s paper about a blind girl that had a few alters that could see. He and Barry had theorized that the opposite must be possible as well, that there could be a blind alter in the midst of those with vision. How to go about doing this without hurting Kevin was anyone’s guess, but they had to try.

Dennis stared at the Beast quietly for a few moments, before bracing himself. “How do you intend to do anything when you can’t see?”

For the first time in his short life, the Beast felt something like fear, and he struggled against all of the others as Dennis advanced on him.

Patricia screamed. “No! You would maim the pinnacle of human evolution? Don’t do this!”

“Help me Kevin,” Dennis whispered under his breath, as though petitioning a god, and he braced himself for the task at hand.

Kevin must have heard, for when Dennis touched the Beast, he found he could move through him, deep into the dark that was the void of their shared consciousness. Agonizing memories rushed over him, abuse and neglect from long ago, playing out repeatedly. This time he was ready for it though. He had lived it once before, he could bear it all again.

As he reached deeper into the Beast’s mind, the lines between the two alters started to blur; he left pieces of himself behind in every place he touched, binding them together in ways he never thought possible. Briefly he wondered if he was just replacing one monster with parts of another, but he wouldn’t accept that, couldn’t accept that. He would be good. He _was_ being good. And when he finally retreated, he took the Beast’s sight with him.

“You had no right!” the Beast cried in agony, and for a moment Dennis almost felt guilty. Then he thought back to all of those broken bodies that had been opened by the hands of the Horde, and his resolve strengthened. He knelt down to face the Beast, despite the fact he could no longer see the pity and anger on Dennis's face.

“No, you had no right.” He replied firmly. “We had no right to do what we did to those girls. Now we pick up the pieces and try to fix this. If you want to see again, you have to share the light with one of us. Our vision. Your strength. You need us.”

The Beast moaned in protest, but something was different in his demeanor. Dennis had fundamentally changed the alter in ways he didn’t quite understand, but it was quickly becoming apparent that most of the fight had left him. He nodded in obedience.

“Good.” Dennis said gruffly. “Now get up. Now we save Casey and get out of here.”


	4. Ascension

The policemen had yet to find their hiding spot, but Casey could hear the steady drone of a helicopter in the distance and knew they would be discovered sooner rather than later. While Kevin was unconscious she tried to patch his leg up, and fortunately Patricia had chosen a van that had a medical kit inside. Casey was no doctor, but at least she could finally stop the bleeding.

Suddenly Kevin started to breathe heavily, and Casey jumped up and moved to the other end of the van, unsure of who was about to emerge. No sooner had she reached the last row when she heard a pained groan, and turned just in time to see black eyes staring back at her. She recoiled instinctively, and then tried to force herself to calm down. The Beast saw her as the one of the broken, and she knew in a way she knew nothing else that he would not hurt her.

She went over to see if he needed help, and was caught off guard by the blue flecks that now dotted his irises. “Kevin?” she whispered, unsure of whom she was looking at.

The Beast moaned and shook his head, bringing up a hand to massage his temple. “No. No, it’s me.”

The New York accent was unmistakable, and she was floored. “Dennis?” Without thinking, she threw her arms around his waist, and then cringed when she remembered how injured he was. Dennis, or the Beast, or whoever it was, didn’t make a sound though. When she looked up, she just saw a pair of blueish black eyes lightly staring back at her.

“Casey, you shouldn’t be here,” Dennis scolded, but only meant it halfheartedly. He still couldn’t believe that she had risked her life for them.

She ignored the reprimand, still utterly fascinated by his eyes. “I don’t understand, is that you Dennis? Why do you look like-“

He cut her off. “The Beast is beaten. I’ll explain later, we need to get out of here.”

Remembering their current predicament, Casey quickly settled down. “Can you even walk with that fracture?” she asked tentatively.

Dennis smiled grimly at her. “What fracture?”

Casey looked back down at his calf, and then quickly removed the bandages she had applied earlier. The only sign there had ever been any trauma at all was the dried blood sticking to his skin. She had to keep herself from asking ten million questions all at once, and instead just breathed a sigh of relief. That was going to make escaping so much easier.

He glanced out of the rear window, rolling his shoulders back nervously. “I know it’s a stupid thing to ask for, but I need you to trust me.” He was looking at her out of the corner of his eyes, unmoving, like he was trying not to startle a small animal. “Would you be comfortable getting on my back? We need to move fast and it will be quickest if I can scale the gate on the west end over there. The woods should provide enough cover for us to disappear.”

Casey swallowed nervously. She wasn’t afraid of Dennis, but the thought of clinging to someone else, so high up off the ground, was enough to make her a bit weak in the knees. “What if I fall?”

Dennis turned from the window to give her his full attention, and reached out to gently grasp her forearm. “I won’t let you. I swear it.”

So much promise in such few words, but it was clear he meant them. Casey relented. “Then yes, I don’t mind.” She moved to slide open the door, but Dennis stopped her. “Not yet. We have to create a distraction first.”

Casey raised her eyebrows at him. “What kind of a distraction?”

“I’m not so good with strategy,” Dennis admitted. “Fortunately, there’s someone here who is.”

Realizing he was talking about another identity, Casey clung to him. “Are you leaving?”

Her touch gave Dennis pause; he wasn’t sure how to interpret it. “Just for now. I’ll be back when Orwell gives me the ‘all clear’. He may be smart, but me? If anyone is scaling walls and dodging bullets, it’s going to be me.”

"But you don't even have your glasses on you, do you?" Casey didn't want to offend the man, but if she were going to be trusting him with her life, she'd rather not be running in to walls.

The thought actually made her choke back a stressed laugh, and Dennis's face turned quizzical. "I'm nearsighted. That won't be an issue though. Like I said, I'll explain later. Let's get to safety, alright?"

Seeing the wisdom in that, Casey released his arm and stood back.

A few seconds passed, and then: “Hello my dear.”

Casey couldn’t help but smile when she heard Orwell’s voice. It always reminded her of her favorite sociology teacher in high school, a kindly older man who always seemed to see Casey’s humanity over her quiet rebellion. “Hello Orwell. It’s nice to see you again.”

Orwell beamed at her. “Likewise. I do regret it’s under these circumstances, but perhaps later we can get better acquainted when there are less pressing matters to address?”

Casey smiled shyly. “I’d like that.”

Orwell patted her arm, and then as if suddenly realizing his surroundings, looked at his veiny, muscular form in distaste. “Oh! Dear me, what has the Beast done to our body?”

His surprise came as unexpected to Casey. How did he not know what the Beast looked like? “Orwell, when was the last time you held the light?”

Before he could respond, the barking of orders was heard over the din of the helicopter; apparently they were now actively being searched for. Whatever distraction David Dunn had afforded them was now over.

“Oh my god, if they find us we’re going to die,” Casey pressed herself against the middle row of seats, futilely trying to camouflage herself.

Orwell, on the other hand, didn’t seem fazed. “Oh well, you know what they say. 'When in Rome, do as the Romans do'.”

Casey had no idea what that was supposed to mean in their current scenario, and before she could protest he jumped out of the van and spared her a glance before running headlong into the men. “Run Casey, I won’t be far behind!”

Leaping out of the vehicle, Casey headed towards the fence Dennis had mentioned, completely ignored by the police. Turning back to look one last time, she saw the Beast, or rather Orwell, pushing a power line over onto the blacktop where the water tank had spilled. As the line fell, live wires ripped open exposing their nerves, creating a field of deadly electricity for whoever tried to cross the expanse. It wasn’t enough to completely stop the advancement, but it would buy them a little time.

Not satisfied, Orwell jumped on top of another nearby van, trying to catch the eye of any gunman that wasn’t trying to find a way around the electrified water. Heightened senses alerted him to a sniper that now had his gun trained on him, and in the blink of an eye he jumped down behind the hood of the vehicle. Bullets peppered the area and the engine caught on fire, making it convenient for Orwell to push it towards a group of police that were now flanking his left side. With the hospital to his right, power lines in front and burning car to the left, all that was left to do was make a run for it.

Orwell signaled to Dennis, and the other alter quickly grabbed hold of the light, a part of him noticing that he had never swapped places with any of the alters so effortlessly before. Working together would have felt a lot nicer if their lives weren’t currently at stake.

The cops on foot were preoccupied now, but the helicopter was rotating back around again, and Dennis decided the time was now or never. Breaking into a run he followed Casey’s footsteps until he reached the gate and saw her pacing back and forth nervously, waiting for him. “Casey!” he yelled out, alerting her to the fact that he was fast approaching, and the look of relief on her face when she saw him made his heart contract in ways he wasn’t used to.

Stopping where she stood, he bent down to let her more easily climb onto his back, arms and legs wrapping around his torso like she belonged there. Dennis could hear the men with the guns screaming to one another, pointing out his location, and he tensed his body up to make a run for the gate before backup arrived.

“Hold on,” he cautioned, and without further warning Casey could feel his thigh muscles coil underneath him as he took a running leap forward and latched on to the wiring. She closed her eyes tightly, not wanting to see the distance between themselves and the ground, but fortunately Dennis made short work of the gate and before she knew it, they were at the top.

“I’m going to jump down,” he warned, and Casey shook her head against him. “That’s going to shatter every bone in your body!”

Dennis grunted. “Trust me Casey; it’s going to be alright.”

She didn’t have much of a choice, and with a combination of breathless horror and wonder, they dived down and she watched the ground rush up to meet them, Dennis bringing his hands out to stabilize the fall like a giant cat. The force of impact made the surrounding area shake, and when he stood up on two legs again, she could see the crater his body had left behind.

“Oh my god,” she whispered, but barely had enough time to register what had just happened before he was off again, running through the woods at top speed.

Despite their fast pace, minutes seemed to tick by agonizingly slow to Casey, on alert for any sign that they were still being hunted. Eventually the sounds of guns and the helicopter faded into the distance, and she allowed herself a small glimmer of hope that they had actually come out of all that unscathed.

Suddenly she became aware that Dennis’s gait was off kilter and he was beginning to stumble. Panting, he nearly collapsed to the ground, and she quickly jumped off of his back to relieve him of the extra weight.

Cocking her head, she listened again for the sounds of perusal, but heard nothing aside from Dennis’s labored breathing. Reaching out to touch him, to make sure he was ok, she gently took his face into her hands. “Are you doing alright?” she asked, concern etching her entire body.

“Yeah, just…” he pulled himself away so he could rest against the trunk of a nearby tree. “I just need a few seconds. The Beast is strong, but god we are going to feel this tomorrow.” He choked out a weak laugh and then closed his eyes, the only sign he hadn’t passed out being the erratic rise and fall of his chest.

Casey didn’t want to stress him further, but they were exposed in the woods and couldn’t have been more than a few miles from Raven Hill. They couldn’t stop. “Are you able to keep going? You don’t have to carry me anymore; I just think we should keep moving.”

Dennis groaned, but nodded his head.

“Any idea where we are headed?”

The question made Dennis frown. “_We_ aren’t going anywhere. _We_ are moving clear of that damn hospital, and then _you_ are going home and the others and I are going to be laying low for a bit.”

For the first time since he had met her, Casey stared him down furiously. “So what, you’re done with me, and I’m being dismissed? Is that it?”

“What?” Of course she was going to make this difficult, he should have known. Couldn’t she see that she wasn’t safe with him? “Don’t be ridiculous. You’ve been through enough on account of us; you need to worry about your own hide.”

“You motherfucker!” Casey’s outburst made him jump despite his exhaustion, and he raised his eyebrows in surprise, but she was beside herself with anger. He didn’t get to just inject himself into her life and then decide to be the arbitrator of what was and wasn’t good for her well being. She was a person, not a doll he could pick up and put down as he saw fit.

“Excuse me?” His voice was clipped and cold, and he crossed his arms, daring her to stare him down.

For a second Casey had to fight off shivers, flashing back to those days spent prisoner under the zoo. But the Beast had freed her, turned her world upside down. With a few simple words_ (You are different from the rest. Rejoice!) _her thoughts had changed, and thus changed her reality. She wasn’t going to stand down to Dennis, not anymore. “I don’t know if you recall, but you kidnapped me, so you don’t get to talk about putting me in danger. As I remember it, you were willing to sacrifice me, and not only me, but who knows how many others? You don’t get to fucking talk about my safety!”

Her words were burning in his head, and Dennis tried his best not to start hyperventilating. Everything she said was true, and it was like little knives in his heart. He uncrossed his arms and looked away, refusing to meet her gaze. “I’ve been a coward and a fool, I know. Please don’t make me put you any more at risk than I already have,” was all he weakly offered in response. Then he turned and started walking forward again, hoping against hope she wouldn’t see the sorrow on his face.

* * *

A near half hour of silence had passed between the two, the only sounds the occasional call of a bird and further off, the hum of multiple vehicles. They must be getting close to a highway, Casey mused.

_Dennis, let me talk to her! _Barry broke through the self loathing cloud Dennis was currently under.Oh good, now he got to hear from the peanut gallery.

“Mind your business, I’ve got this!” Dennis snapped, and winced when he realized he looked like he was talking to himself. Casey looked over at him, curious. “Um, Barry was just saying something,” he explained lamely, embarrassed.

Slowing her pace, Casey suddenly forgot her anger. “So you can just talk to the other alters whenever you want? They don’t just disappear when you have the light?”

Surprised by her interest, Dennis shrugged. “I mean, kind of. It’s like we’re all sitting in a room, in chairs, right? And when you have the light, you’re in control of Kevin, you’re looking through his eyes, but you’re still semi aware that you’re in that room.” He rubbed the back of his head. “You with me? Does that make any sense?”

Casey nodded. “It does.” A thought occurred to her. “So is there any chance I can see Barry?”

Snorting, Dennis folded his arms across his chest. “Why? Because you know he’s not going to try to send you back home?”

_ Ugh, just let me out ya tyrant, I want to see her too! Besides, I thought we were partners now._

Dennis rolled his eyes and threw up his hands in defeat. “Fine! Okay? But don’t try and make me the bad guy, Barry. She has got to go; she’s not safe here with us.” In a moment, Dennis was gone from the light, and it seemed whatever part of the Beast he controlled went with him.

Before Casey’s very own eyes Kevin’s body seemed to light up from within, hold itself with a joy and playfulness that she wasn’t used to seeing imposed on his powerful form. The black eyes faded to light blue, and when they glanced her way they sparkled with pleasure.

“How you doing sweetheart?” Barry purred, hugging her. Casey eagerly returned the embrace. While she had spent so very little time with him previously, he was one of the alters that haunted her most. To be forced to do horrible things with no recourse, and with such a good heart. It made her shudder.

He began fussing over her immediately, noting a bruise on her face that she hadn’t even remembered getting. “Doll, you look exhausted. Why did ya put yourself between the Beast and all of those guns? You could have gotten killed!”

Casey pulled him into a hug again, unwilling to let him go. “I was afraid for you.”

He grunted in disapproval.“That’s a lot of skin to put on the line for someone that kidnapped you.” His voice was light, but she knew he held tremendous guilt over her abduction.

Looking up at him under her lashes, she shook her head vehemently. “You never kidnapped me. I know you did everything you could to stop the Horde; I don’t blame you or Kevin in the least. That’s why I came to see you. At Raven Hill, I mean. I didn’t want you to feel all alone.”

The admission left Barry overwhelmed. Her concern was obviously genuine, but it still made no logical sense. “I don’t get it. What happened between when we first met and now that you‘re treating us like a friend?”

Everyone kept asking her that, but how to explain the events that transpired after meeting the Beast? How to convey the look in his eyes when he saw her scars? The admiration, the warmth that rolled off like waves on this monstrous killer?

Shifting weight nervously from foot to foot, Casey decided it was a story for another time. “I guess it sounds weird on the surface, but I do have my reasons. Can I explain later? I don’t really feel comfortable being out in the open.”

Oh yeah. They were fugitives now. Still, Barry let himself remain warmed by Casey’s words. “You’re too sweet for this world, Casey Cooke.” Reaching for her hand, he led them deeper into the woods.

* * *

Twilight was falling and hunger was setting in, but Barry’s relentless optimism kept Casey from flagging. How he could make walking miles in a forest endlessly entertaining was a mystery, but apparently that was Barry for you. 

Eventually though, Casey had to break his stream of consciousness to figure out where the hell they were heading. “Barry?”

“What is it, sweetheart?”

“Where are we going?”

Barry stopped walking abruptly, like it had just occurred to him that they were supposed to be finding shelter and not having a leisurely outing in the forest. He rubbed his neck. “Well I’m not gonna lie, this is embarrassing. I didn’t really have any place in particular in mind; I was just kinda winging it, yeah?”

Yeah, that sounded about right. Mulling over an option she really didn’t want to use, Casey decided they had no choice. “I think…I think I know someplace we could go.”

Her downward gaze made it obvious she wasn’t thrilled with her idea, and Barry stopped forging ahead so he could look at her closely, concern evident in his eyes. “Wherever this is, you don’t look like you wanna be there.”

“No, it’s nothing like that. I think all the running around today is just catching up to me now.”

Barry’s eyes softened in understanding. “I feel ya, babygirl. I could do with sleeping a decade or too myself. What was your suggestion then?”

Twisting her hands, which did not go unnoticed by her companion, she began to explain how an old family friend of her father had a few cabin properties scattered around the East Coast, one being relatively nearby in the Poconos. “I know his family is only out there a few weeks during the spring. Unless they’ve turned it into an Air BNB I think it remains empty most of the year,”she added.

“Poconos, eh?” Barry cracked his neck, thinking it over. “That’s still a bit of a hike from here.”

“It is. I’m not sure we have many options, though.”

“And it’s a good one love, but we’re not gonna make it there before night falls.”

Sighing, Casey shrugged and collapsed to the ground. “That’s alright. I spent plenty of nights sleeping outside as a kid.”

“Oh yeah? Did ya go camping a lot with your family?”

The memories welled up in Casey unbidden, and she shot Barry a sad smile. “I went hunting with my father and uncle often, yes.”

“Oh” Barry mouthed softly to himself, realizing the turn the conversation had taken. He was there for Casey’s admittance to Kevin that her uncle hurt her, but he didn’t know the specifics, and didn’t know if he could handle them anyway. Barry was created to lead and comfort, but he discovered long ago there were just some things you couldn’t make better.

“Well,” he offered, hoping to change the subject, “We should be far enough from the highway that we won't be easily noticed. Did ya want to try to get some sleep? I realize we don’t exactly have the accouterments of the Renaissance here, but ehh..we can make it work.”

Noticing for the first time that the only thing Barry wore was his raggedy pants from the hospital, Casey grimaced and indicated his lack of clothing. “I’m not sure that’s comfortable camping attire. Not much of a barrier between yourself and all the bugs out here.”

Stretching his traps and shoulders to show off his physique, Barry winked at her. “You kidding? I should strip and sleep the way God intended, au naturel!”

The sides of Casey’s face felt like they were going to burst into flames and Barry smirked at her horror. “What’s wrong? You look like you seen Patricia in a bathing suit. Don’t get me wrong, these pants are hideous and the sooner I’m out of them the better, but I wouldn’t put ya through that,” he grinned.

Casey stammered. “No! I mean, no, it wouldn’t be a terrible thing. You have a nice body, I just…not that I’ve seen everything! I wouldn’t mind, but it’s not really appropriate…Oh god.” She put her face in her hands, mortified, but Barry couldn’t stop laughing.

“You really need to relax babygirl, you’re making it too fun to mess with ya.”

Casey forced her hands to her sides, cheeks still burning, and with a final chuckle Barry sat down at a particularly grassy copse and held his arms out to her. “We can worry about tomorrow after we get some sleep; I’m having trouble keeping my eyes open.”

Tentatively Casey sat down and allowed him to embrace her, leaning into his body heat. “You alright sleeping like this?” he asked, chin resting on her head. Casey nodded into his chest, silent. She didn’t want to admit that she was nervous at the possibility of waking up next to another alter she didn’t recognize, or, god forbid, Patricia.

Reading her mind, Barry squeezed her tighter. “Don’t worry about the others. I can’t promise Dennis or Hedwig won’t show up at some point, but you’re ok with that, right?”

Thinking of Hedwig brought a smile to her face, but the idea of waking up next to Dennis made her stomach knot up in a way that was overwhelmingly foreign. She decided not to dwell on it. “Of course, I love seeing Hedwig. And Dennis…Dennis would be fine too. So long as he doesn't try to send me away again.”

“I'd never let him, don't you worry your pretty head, baby doll.” Barry yawned, lifting his arms to stretch before wrapping them around Casey again. “Try and get some sleep now. I think we’ve earned it.”

Before she could sleep, there was one more person Casey wanted to speak to. “Do you think there’s any chance Kevin will come to the light?”

Shifting so he could better see her, Barry paused thoughtfully. “I don’t know, I can definitely try. If there’s anyone he’d make an attempt for, it would be you.”

Smiling, but trying to not look _too _self-satisfied, Casey grabbed Barry’s hand. “Please. I want to see how he is.”

For a moment or two, all Barry could do was stare in awe at this young woman whose care and affection they most definitely did not deserve. Then he squeezed her hand in turn. “Give me a few minutes to look for him.” Getting Kevin to the light was usually an exercise in futility, but Casey seemed to make it much easier.

Looking inwards, Barry walked the recesses of their consciousness, looking for his progenitor. He found him sleeping, although much closer to the light then usual. It was almost enough to give him some real hope. “Kevin, Casey is here. She’s asking for ya,” he whispered, gently rubbing his sire’s back. 

Much to his delight, Kevin stirred immediately, but came to looking distraught. “Casey? Why does she keep coming back?”

“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” Barry offered, trying to tempt the other man into action.

He went to help Kevin get to his feet, but he remained in place, shaking his head. “I don’t think I can make it. I’ve been in the light twice recently, it’s all too much.” He seemed so small and helpless, it broke Barry’s heart.

Suddenly, Barry felt another presence and realized the two of them weren't alone. He glanced upwards to see Dennis towering over them, and breathed a sigh of relief; he didn't think he'd be able to coax Kevin up on his own.

“You _can_ make it, I’m here now,” Dennis's voice cut through the astral quagmire they resided in, and then came alongside the pair and wrapped an arm around Kevin's back, waiting for Barry to grab his other side. Together, they were able to fight through the darkness and sit Kevin down in front of the light, much to the shock of the other alters. Ian moved to say hello, but Dennis shook his head sternly. “He’s come to speak with Casey. Let them be.”

Outside of Kevin, Casey waited nervously, and when she felt her companion stir, she backed up to give him a bit of breathing room.

“Casey? Where-” Kevin looked around, shocked at their woodland surroundings. “Where are we? Where’s that doctor?”

“We’re not at Raven Hill anymore. You’re free, Kevin.”

Kevin stopped looking about, whipping his head around to stare at her aghast. “What do you mean? Oh god, what if I hurt someone again? Casey, we have to get back to the hospital, I-”

Squeezing his hands, Casey shushed him gently. “You’re free of the Beast too, Dennis took him out! He’s not going to hurt anyone ever again.”

This information seemed to leave Kevin astonished. “What? How?”

Casey realized she didn’t actually know all that much about what went down, she had only seen the aftermath. “You’ll have to ask Dennis, I suppose. I just wanted you to know…it’s going to be ok, Kevin.”

A sigh of relief left him, and Kevin sagged back down on the tree trunk they were resting against. “I don’t believe for a second things are going to stay this way, but I appreciate you letting me know.”

While not a natural pessimist, Casey wasn’t sure how to convince him otherwise. She groped around inside her head for the right thing to say, but instead he surprised her by turning to grace her with a lopsided smile. “You really my friend?”

Beaming, Casey nodded at him. “I’ve never met anyone else that understands…you know. What it’s like. To have had a childhood like ours, I mean.”

Kevin’s smile turned into a frown, but only briefly. “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. But I’m glad I know you, Casey.”

Suddenly, his eyes widened, and Casey recognized the telltale signs of him losing the light. She clutched his hand to try to keep him present, but it was no use. Soon it was Barry staring back at her, and he regarded her with a mixture of warmth and sadness. “Sorry babygirl, Dennis and I kept Kevin here for as long as we could.”

“Thank you. I know that’s not easy for any of you.”

Barry hummed thoughtfully. “I know Kevin doesn’t feel this way, but the longer he sits in the light, the stronger he gets.” He pulled Casey tightly against himself, sighing. “You being here means the world, it makes a big difference. For all of us.”

Casey scoffed. “Not to Dennis or the Horde, I’m sure.”

“Doll, you let me take care of Dennis, and never mind the Horde. Now can we __please __get some shut eye? If I don’t get some rest soon, I’m gonna get loopy.”

“I don’t know, loopy Barry sounds like a lot of fun.”

Barry chuckled. “You telling me I’m no fun now?” Casey yelped as he squeezed her ribs, but mercifully he settled down quickly, sleep weighing heavily on him. “Seriously, I’m beat. I'm tapping out, alright?”

Casey nodded, relaxing into her friend. Despite the bumpy ground and tree bark digging into her back, she found her body’s need for sleep outweighed its need for comfort, and soon the two were fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright my mens -and my womensfolk, unfortunately my vacation time is over and I go back to work today, so updates won’t be as frequent, but I’ll still be plugging away at this.
> 
> I do want to thank each and every one of you again for reading, and for the comments/kudos. It’s a lot of fun to interact with other people that love these characters, instead of hearing: “You write stories about Split? Isn’t that the movie where some guy with different personalities kidnaps girls? What is wrong with you?” You all are the best, and I will desperately be waiting for your own story updates as I languish at my counter at work.


	5. Mr. Dennis's Wild Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where Dennis and Barry go back to wanting to kill each other, because that's what family does. I.E. the "Listen here you little shit" chapter.

Roughing it in the woods could now be crossed off of Barry’s bucket list. Never again. There was a cramp in his right shoulder the size of a small animal, and his neck was stiff as hell. He couldn’t even get up to stretch as Casey was still sleeping peacefully against him. Her breath was coming out in small puffs visible in the early morning air, and despite the pain Barry couldn’t help but smile. She clearly was used to this whole “outdoor” thing.

Unable to move, he spent the next hour or two falling in and out of consciousness, trying to plan out the day when he wasn’t dozing. He wasn’t sure exactly where they were, but they had to be near the outskirts of the city, there was certainly enough traffic nearby to indicate so. The Poconos was nearly a two hour drive from Philadelphia, and going by foot would surely take longer than a day; he had no inclination of putting Casey through that.

He mulled over the idea of backtracking into the city and seeing if he could sneak into their old apartment. All his credit cards would have been deactivated by now, but Dennis always had cash hidden away in case of emergencies. Although it _was_ a possibility that authorities had seized it all; Barry wasn’t quite sure what happened when cops tore through a suspect’s house. Becoming a serial killer had never been on his list of things to do, so he had never looked into the matter.

The absurdity of his thoughts made him bark out a bitter laugh, but then the reality of their situation crashed down on him again. He had tried so, so hard to give them a normal life, where had he gone wrong? He thought back to all of those werewolf movies some of the other alters loved watching. Is this what those characters felt like? Waking up one day to realize that something inside them had done something so awful, so horrible, it was impossible to live with?

Tears were beginning to well up in his eyes, and it took everything inside of him to calm himself down. He didn’t want to be getting all weepy on Casey; she needed him to be strong. He couldn’t fail her again.

Suddenly he felt a presence standing near the light, and instinctively knew it was Dennis. None of the others held the aura of power that radiated off of him.

_“We need to talk.”_

“Well good morning to you too, Dennis.”

_“Is Casey alright?”_

Good lord, this man could be infuriating. “No, sorry, she’s gone. I forgot to keep an eye on her, and one of the Appalachian Mountain People grabbed her. It was pretty upsetting, actually. Sorry I forgot to tell ya.”

Barry could feel Dennis fuming beneath the surface, and it took every ounce of willpower he had not to break out into a grin.

_ “You’re not as funny as you think you are.” _

“And you’re not as intimidating as you think you are." He shifted to pull away an errant piece of tree bark that had been digging into his side, tossing it with distaste over his shoulder. "So what did ya wanna talk about?”

It took a moment for Dennis to respond, and Barry was beginning to think the other man had left. 

_ “I wanted to explain to you what I’d like to do, once we figure out where to go from here.” _

The nerve of this guy. Barry rolled his eyes.“Oh man, this should be good. Thanks to your previous plans, we’re now a wanted murderer on the run with no money, no job, and no home. Really, I’m just dying to know where Mr. Dennis’s Wild Ride takes us next.” 

He regretted the words as soon as they left him; it wasn’t fair to needle at Dennis when he was already filled with remorse, especially after he had shared such an intimate and wounded part of himself. He had taken responsibility for his actions, guilting him further held no benefit for either of them.

Strangely, Dennis acted like he hadn’t even heard. He was back to being their unflinching rock. _“Mr. Glass was insane-“_

“You can say that again. He was like, Patricia-level nuts.”

_ “Right. But a lot of what he said made sense. About people like us being the basis for all the old legends of heroes and monsters. We’re like the real world Batman or somethun'.” _

“Yeah, but Batman has money.”

_ “Barry-“ _

“And a bitchin’ car.”

_“I don’t see what -“_

“And friends.”

_ “Why? Why do I even bother trying to talk to you? I’d get more accomplished discussing things with Hedwig, or…or his mouse.” _

“Oh man, whatever happened to Mr. FluffyMan when the cops ransacked our place? I hope he’s alright.”

“_He lived underneath a zoo, in a massive city! I’m. sure. he’s. fine._” Dennis was gritting his teeth now.

Casey was beginning to stir next to them, sobering Barry pretty quickly. It was fun to rag on Dennis and all, but deep down he hoped he had a plan for getting them back to somewhat normalcy. “Ok, I’m sorry, I’m done playing. So say we’re like Batman, so what?”

_ “So we do like Batman does. We have power, and I have a mess as long as the damn state of Pennsylvania to clean up.” _

A chill began to creep down Barry’s spine. This wasn’t what it sounded like, was it? “You can’t be serious.”

_ “I’m always serious.” _

“What? No! That is the exact opposite of doing normal people things, I have had enough comic book bullshit to last me a lifetime!”

_ “All those girls lives, sacrificed for nothing. I want so badly to bring them back.” _

Barry nervously started picking at a patch of skin on his chest, an old habit left over from childhood. “I don’t recall necromancy being part of our skill set, so I don’t know what to tell ya.” Again he felt bad about the levity, but frankly the whole thing was so absurd he didn’t know how to react.

_ “Obviously. But maybe I can stop other families from feeling the same pain that the Horde…that I inflicted onto them.” _

“And how would you do that? Go out looking for trouble? Put yourself at the business end of a gun night after night? Risk exposing us?”

_"I have to do this.” _

Barry began breathing slowly through his nose, attempting to stay calm. “You don’t HAVE to do this; you are choosing to do this in an effort to make yourself feel better. Not to mention that you’re putting the rest of us at risk, those of us that wanted nothing to do with your weird little murder cult!”

His shouting finally woke Casey up, and she looked up at him through bleary eyes, confused, before she remembered where she was. “What’s with all the yelling? Are we ok?” A distressing thought occurred to her, and she simultaneously pressed herself deeper into Barry while looking around wildly. “Did the cops find us?”

“Nah, we’re good babygirl, I’m sorry I woke you,” Barry smiled down at her, pulling her tighter into himself. “Did ya sleep alright?”

She sighed into the embrace. “Better than most nights. No horrible uncles or cramped foster homes to deal with.”

“Nah, just my dumb ass,” Barry teased, reaching over to tickle her before dark thoughts of her uncle could pollute her mind any further.

“Oh my god, Barry, please stop! It’s too early for this!” Casey begged, trying desperately to worm her way out of his embrace.

He didn’t let her go immediately, her laughter warming him, and he could feel Dennis looking out at them with some amusement. "_We’ll finish talking later,” _the eldest alter promised, receding back into the deepest parts of Kevin so that Barry could concentrate on their more immediate needs-food and shelter.

“Oh good, now he’s doing the whole 'mysterious vanishing' thing. That will be perfect for our vigilante act,” Barry mumbled crossly to himself, releasing his grip on Casey’s sides.

“Huh?” she blinked at him with sleep still in her eyes, and he shook his head while getting to his feet.

“Don’t worry about it, just something Dennis and I were talking about before you woke up.”

“Oh.”

Barry didn’t feel like discussing Dennis or his dumb ideas any further. He decided to change the subject. “You must be starving.”

Casey regarded him carefully. “You’re not?”

“Oh god yes, I could clean out a Wawa right about now.” At the thought of food, his stomach rumbled in agreement.

“Well, if we’re close to a highway, there has got to be some rest stops around. I don’t think I can afford a whole store, but I can definitely get us some food,” Casey smirked.

“I might be able to figure out where we are. Hold on a sec.” Barry stilled for a moment, closing his eyes, only to open them a few minutes later. Only now they were black and cold, like a Great White’s. The Beast had emerged.

Casey jumped back in surprise and ended up stumbling over a tree root, falling backwards. Those cold eyes looked at her with concern, and Barry walked over to help her up. “I’m sorry, I should have warned ya. I don’t know if you noticed yesterday, but we’ve gained control over the Beast.”

She had been wondering why Dennis looked so similar to the Beast, but forgot all about it up until that point. Reaching up to gently touch his face, she gazed into his eyes, in wonder. “That’s amazing. How did you do manage to do that?”

Barry grinned, which looked surreal in contrast to the black void that was his eyes. “I’m not entirely sure. Before we escaped, Dennis and I had to come up with an idea to defeat the Beast, and we theorized that making him dependent on us may bring him to heel. Dennis blinded him somehow, and ta-daa! Here we are.” Barry stretched out his arms like he was introducing a new exhibit at the zoo. “We get to use his powers, and he gets to share the light with us.”

A sad groan punctuated Barry’s words, and Casey realized the Beast was also present with them. Just…tamer, more submissive.

“Hello Beast.” She kept her hand on his cheek. “Thank you for carrying us to safety yesterday.”

The Beast leaned into the touch of her hand, and turned to lick her palm. “Hello, my beloved broken one.”

“Oh gross, none of that!” Barry reared back, sticking his tongue out in disgust. “Sorry, we’re still trying to figure all of this out.”

Casey had to stifle a laugh. “Yeah, you’ll probably want to get all the kinks worked out before we go food shopping.”

“Nuh uh, Beastie is only here temporarily. We’re going to figure out where the hell we are and sniff out some grub. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” With that, Barry launched himself up the nearest oak tree, clawing up the bark like he was a giant house cat.

“Can you see anything?” Casey called up the trunk, leaves obscuring him from her vision.

“Yeah. Looks like we’re right next to I-476. Norristown should only be a few miles walk from here.” Without warning he came crashing down, startling the hell out of Casey.

“You guys really have to stop doing that,” Casey panted, putting a hand up to her chest in an effort to calm her racing heart.

“Sorry doll, the Beast likes to show off I think.”

The Beast sniffed. “I move as I was created to move. It is not my fault that without me your frail body would explode from a mere 40 foot drop.”

“Yeah yeah, very nice,” Barry waved his hands dismissively. “What do ya think Beast, can we make it over to Norristown before wasting away from hunger?”

“Hrmph. You may waste away. I can go days without food,” the Beast rumbled, obviously unimpressed with Barry.

“Ok great! Let’s go then,” Barry announced, bending down so that Casey could climb onto him easily. He turned to look over his left shoulder, waggling his eyebrows. “Are ya glad I’ve refrained from making jokes about you mounting me?”

Casey sighed into his back. “I mean, I would have been. Now do I not only feel silly, I’m self-conscious too.”

A laugh tumbled out of Barry, and before she knew it they were flying across the forest floor. She had gone horseback riding on and off since her childhood, and the sensation was similar, the feeling of going so fast, for so long, that it almost felt like flying. But much sooner than she had expected, they came to an abrupt halt.

Barry let Casey climb off of him before he scurried up the nearest tree, and hummed with pleasure. “Yep, there’s a Sheetz and a Target right off the next exit here.” He climbed back down, much slower this time so as not to startle Casey, and then wiped his hands on his pants once he reached the bottom. “I’m going to take ya to the off ramp and that is far as I can go babygirl. Are you ok to run inside without me?”

Casey looked down at her clothing. “I mean, I look a mess, but I’ll manage.”

Barry wrinkled his nose. “We could probably both do with a hot shower, but at least you don’t look like a half-naked feral man. I’m afraid I would draw more attention than we can afford.”

"Don't lie Barry, you'd like it. I can tell already, you live for attention." She had to dodge an acorn he chucked at her, and ran behind a tree trunk, giggling. "Ok fine, I surrender! You're a very shy person and you hate being in the spotlight. I'll go in by myself."

Barry affectionately rolled his eyes and relented, instead escorting her as close as he dared to the nearby shopping center.

The plan was for Casey to pick up enough food to last a few days, and a change of clothing for each of them. He knew it would take her a while, but his nerves were getting the best of him. Despite concealing himself in the leaves of a nearby tree, he felt like he was ready to jump out of his skin at every police car or ambulance he saw fly by.

Finally he saw her emerge from Target with a backpack full of food and a few plastic bags. He bounced a foot impatiently against the branch he was reclining on, trying to calm his nerves.

“Coward,” the Beast growled at him, displeased with his discomfort. “Let the police come, we will tear them to shreds!”

“No more tearing people to shreds,” Barry mumbled, hoping against hope that Dennis’s control over the violent alter would last. “You’ve put us in quite a predicament Beast, I hope ya realize that.”

“WHY DO YOU DEFEND THE IMPURE?!” the Beast howled, and Barry nearly fell out of the tree in surprise. He was being so loud he could see Casey looking toward them in concern, and a few other passersby glancing around to see where the noise had come from.

“For god’s sake, keep it down!” Barry scolded; frantically looking about to make sure they weren’t spotted. “I swear to god I will kick your ass out of the light so fast, I don’t even care that we’re stuck in a tree. I’ll jump without you.”

“I’d like to see you try it, weakling.” The Beast was calling his bluff.

Barry huffed. “Ok, I’d make Dennis do it. But still.”

“Hmmph.”

“Could you two be any louder?” Casey called out from the bottom of the trunk, trying to remain inconspicuous. She didn’t need anyone coming over to see why she was talking to a tree.

Barry peered down at her, mischievous grin on his face. “Hey doll, have fun shopping? Wanna drag that all on up here?”

“What I want is to call a Lyft and find a motel where I can get a hot shower. I feel disgusting.”

“But you look fantastic.”

Casey put her hands on her hips in mock annoyance, but blushed regardless. “If you’re done messing around, I’d like you to get changed so we can find a room and then rejoin civilization.”

This gave Barry pause. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea babygirl. I’m sure the police are still on high alert for us. We might be able to swing a car ride to the Poconos, but a motel?”

Casey held up an Eagles cap and some cheap sunglasses. “Just put these on. So long as we can go a few hours without you cannibalizing anyone, I think you could pass as normal. Besides, if your appearance doesn’t alarm anyone, your smell will.”

“Har har,” Barry deadpanned, climbing down the tree and swiping the bags from her hand. 

He tried not to make faces as he examined the clothing, a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. Target definitely was not up to his usual standards, but it wasn’t like he had much of a choice. At the very least, it would be comfortable.

Casey pulled a phone from out of her back pocket and Barry raised an eyebrow at her. “You’ve had a phone this entire time?”

Shrugging, she powered it up. “Well yeah, I figured it would come in handy. I mean, it doesn’t have a lot of charge left, but it will be enough to find us a room and call a Lyft.”

“Clever girl,” the Beast grinned at her, causing Casey to involuntarily shiver, which didn’t go unnoticed by Barry.

“Alright Beast, thanks for the help. I’ll be handling things from here,” Barry ordered. Casey half expected a struggle between the two to break out, but to her surprise, the Beast just inclined his head in submission and blinked out of the light.

“I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to that,” Casey admitted, nervously scratching her arm.

“Nah honey, you’re good. I won’t let that brute ever threaten ya again, you can count on it.” Barry put a hand on her shoulder reassuringly, and she let him hold her against his chest as she called for a Lyft.

“Best put your shirt on; they’re meeting us out in front of Target,” Casey announced, now currently browsing her phone for the nearest cheap motel.

Barry hesitated. “How are ya paying for all of this? Not gonna lie, I’m feeling super ungentlemanly here. If we could somehow get access to my bank account without alerting the cops, this would all be way easier.”

Casey just smiled shyly. “Don’t worry about it, Barry. What are friends for?”

_Friends._ Barry had not heard that word in a long time, not in relation to himself at least. Overwhelmed with emotion, he just offered Casey his arm as they walked off to catch their ride.


	6. Raising the White Flag

The motel was a whole lot less sketchy than Barry had feared it would be. And despite his anxiety that he would be recognized (“calm down, the stress vibes are flying off of you,” Casey had told him), the young man at the front desk barely even looked at them as they checked in, too invested in his mobile game.

The room was sparse, but clean, and all they really needed was access to hot water and an outlet. So long as Dennis didn’t emerge and freak out about the bed sheets or something, this would do nicely.

Barry collapsed onto his bed as Casey took a shower and he immediately fell asleep, the exertion of the day’s running and climbing overtaking him. By the time he woke up, the sun had begun setting, and stomach pangs indicated to him that it had been too long between meals. He and Casey had shared some protein bars and fruit on the ride over to the motel, but he was ready for some serious food.

Looking around, he realized Casey wasn’t in the room, and involuntary panic began to set in before he noticed a note lying on the desk next to his bed.

_ Just ran out to grab some takeout from across the street. Be back in a bit! _

Barry wasn’t sure how long she had been gone, but he would give her another half an hour before he started to get nervous. It also gave him time to take a shower.

He spent more time than usual washing, taking great pleasure in the feeling of hot water pound away at his cramped and sore muscles. It seemed like dirt was everywhere, and he soaped himself up three separate times before finally feeling clean enough. “God, I hope I’m not turning into Dennis,” he mumbled, turning off the water and toweling dry.

Between the nap and shower, the day’s stress had melted away, and when he heard Casey call out through the bathroom door that she was back with food, Barry didn’t think the day could get any more perfect. Quickly he threw on his sweats and raced out to meet her, hoping she had brought enough food to curb his appetite.

To his great joy, there was a veritable feast waiting for him when he stepped outside the bathroom. Pizza, hamburgers, hoagies, and even some Chinese food was laid out on the table. He looked to Casey, a bit surprised, and she shrugged. “I didn’t really know what you were in the mood for, so I got a little of everything.”

“You’re too good to us,” Barry sighed, tearing into a box of pizza. “Speaking of which, would ya mind if some of the others came out to say hello? I’ve half a mind to keep all this deliciousness to myself, but I’ve been hogging the light recently.”

Casey was about to voice her consent, then Barry noticed a frown appear on her face. He lowered his slice of pizza, concerned. “What wrong?”

“The Horde, are they going to try...?” she trailed off, unsure of what she was asking exactly. She wasn’t completely clear on who was the enemy, or if there even was still a division inside of Kevin.

Barry shook his head vehemently. “The Horde was dismantled when Dennis switched sides and defeated the Beast. They’re certainly still a part of us, but they’re no danger to you. I doubt they’d even come out, probably still licking their wounds.” He shrugged. “They’ll come around, eventually. Besides,” he looked at her pointedly, eyes shining playfully, “there’s someone here who really, really wants to say hello, and he’s been very patient so far.”

Casey broke out into a grin. “Hedwig?” she guessed, and before she could react the boy appeared in the light and bounded across the length of the table to tackle her in a hug.

“Casey! I missed you so much!”

Laughing, Casey returned his embrace. “I missed you too. How are you doing?”

The boy shrugged noncommittally, looking around at his new surroundings. “I kinda miss the place where they keep all of the comic book characters, but at least you’re here now. Hey, is this our new house?”

Casey stifled another laugh. “No, this is just temporary until we can figure out where we go from here.”

Hedwig hopped up onto one of the beds in glee. “So you’re staying, etcetera? You’re not leaving us again?”

She didn’t even have to think about the answer. “No, I’m not leaving you. I’m staying as long as you all want me to.”

“Yes!” Hedwig began jumping on the bed in earnest, and Casey had to quickly settle him down before one of the neighbors started banging on their door to quiet them.

“Hey buddy, let’s save the bouncing for the daytime, ok?”

He suddenly stilled, and Casey watched as youthful enthusiasm gave way to dignified poise. She was half expecting Patricia, and moved to protect herself, but whoever it was that took the light broke into a warm smile when they saw her. “Casey, I’m so pleased to see you again!”

“Orwell,” she breathed in relief.

He reached out to gently clasp her hands. “How are you feeling, my dear? You weren’t hurt back at Raven Hill, were you?”

“No, I think you occupied the police beautifully. They didn’t even look my way.”

The older alter looked pleased. “Wonderful!”

They chatted briefly, and then alter after alter cycled through to properly greet the woman who helped them escape their prison. When Jade showed up, Casey prepared herself for an altercation, but the other woman pretended like she didn’t even know what Casey was on about when she tentatively asked her about her alliance with the Beast.

“Girl, don’t remind me what a dumbass I can be sometimes. When I saw the Beast was real I figured Patricia was telling the truth about everything else, but Barry eventually set me straight. I broke his fucking heart when I joined the Horde, and I feel just awful about it all. Do you forgive me?”

This was a nice surprise. Would it be that easy to make peace with all of the identities?

“Of course I forgive you, Jade. I’m glad you came to see me, it will be nice to have another woman around to talk to.”

Jade looked stunned at the admission, finally understanding that Casey viewed all of the alters as their own separate people. She had no smartass remarks, just hugged the other woman before she disappeared.

Once she blinked out of the light, the sparkle in Kevin’s eyes indicated that Barry was in control once again. “How’s it going babygirl, ya need a break from the carousel? I know this can be a bit much for people.”

Casey sighed, but she was content. “It’s nice to catch up with everyone, honestly.” She picked up a box of noodles, all of that talking getting her hungry again. “Did you hear Hedwig ask if this was our new house? He cracks me up sometimes.”

Barry flipped a chair around and sat down, arms resting on the sheaf. “So what did ya tell him?”

The question caught Casey by surprise. “I told him we hadn’t figured out where our new place would be. Was that the wrong thing to say?”

Biting his lower lip, Barry looked her straight in the eyes. “Is that really what you want? To stay with us?”

“I….” Casey set her gaze downwards, suddenly feeling put on the spot. “I mean, if that’s ok with you?”

“Ok with me? Hon, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to us, of course it’s ok! Honestly I think you’re wack, wanting to deal with our nonsense, but then again, who am I to talk?” Barry laughed, and the sound was warm and went right to her toes.

_ Absolutely not. _

Dennis’s dissent came down like a bucket of ice water, quickly turning Barry’s mood sour. He walked to the other side of the room, ready to chew out the other alter. “She’s coming with us, Dennis,” he insisted. “Now quiet, you’re making me tight.”

Dennis did not take this news well, despite predicting this was how events would play out. He pushed his way partly into the light, trying to intimidate Barry. “Was I not clear when I told the both of you ‘no’? This isn’t a democracy.”

“Actually, that’s exactly what this is. I don’t remember Kevin dying and making you king.”

Dennis sat back in his chair, glowering. “No, he never made me king. He did make me the guardian though, and I say the girl can’t stay. We’re going to be putting her in harm’s way, and I’ve already given her more than enough of that for a lifetime.”

“You know I can hear you two, right?” Casey called out from her bed, exasperated.

Moving back over to Casey, Barry collapsed down beside her, throwing an arm over her shoulder. “Sorry doll, we’re not used to being around other people outside of work. This is kind of new for us. We don’t mean to be rude.”

Casey looked into his cerulean eyes, searching for the hard visage of Dennis amongst the sparkle. “I appreciate you being worried about me Dennis, but I’m a big girl now. I don’t want to leave.”

Watching Barry’s smile morph into Dennis’s stern frown was fascinating, and a little unnerving, and she scooted a few inches away to give him space. He regarded her with stony silence, and not a little irritation, before folding his arms. “Why?”

Looking down, suddenly feeling vulnerable, Casey started playing with the hem of her shirt. “I don’t have family anymore, not including my uncle, I mean.” The mention of Casey’s uncle made Dennis’s eyes flame, but he didn’t interrupt. “To be perfectly honest, there’s not much tying me down to Philadelphia. Kevin…you and the others…you’re the only real friends I’ve had in ages.”

There it was, the “friendship” angle. Dennis knew it was coming, and he had no defense against it. He knew it wasn’t an attempt at manipulation, but he still resented her for the way it made him feel. He was already stretched so thin, he didn’t think he had it in him to allow someone else to breech their walls. It was Barry’s job to feel for them, but Casey didn’t just want Barry, she wanted all of them. That was a danger to their very existence.

Maybe if he were honest, she would have mercy on him and give up on this ridiculous idea. “I revealed myself to Dr. Fletcher, and worrying about us is what got her killed. I put her in danger, and it’s my fault she’s dead. I’m not a good person Casey.”

Casey reached for his hand, and he let her. God, why did he let her? He’d gotten so weak since she first came to see them at Raven Hill.

“What do you think is going to happen to me? The Beast likes me, doesn’t he?”

“It’s not just the Beast we have to worry about now. Half this country is probably looking for Kevin, we are a wanted murderer. You know what aiding and abetting is, don’t you?”

Casey rolled her eyes. “I’m not helping you kill anyone.”

“No. But don’t think for a second the authorities will care.”

“Well, I don’t care what the police think. They didn’t care about the years of torture Uncle John put me through. The only person since my father’s death that has looked at me like I was an actual person was the Beast. He…he told me to rejoice, that I was worthy. Is it only the Beast that feels that way? Do you not like me?”

No, no mercy here. She was going to make this as awkward and horrible as possible. He ran his free hand over his head; she had gotten under his skin. Damn Barry and his dumb, blasé face, he should be the one here talking sense into Casey, not him. If only Barry weren’t being selfish and considered her well-being instead of his own desires.

Dennis removed his hand from Casey’s grasp, could see the hurt in her eyes, but he didn’t have a choice. He felt too damn defenseless; he couldn’t keep having this conversation while feeling the warmth of her skin against him. He would break. “I like you a lot, Casey. That’s why you can’t stay. I’m trying to put your safety ahead of my own feelings, unlike the others. I heard Barry tell you about our earlier conversation on the ride over here, you know my plans. I’m putting Kevin at risk enough as it is, I don’t want to be responsible for you too. I would never stop worrying.”

Seeing his chance, Barry piped up from his chair._That’s the deal then, Dennis. We go along with your little crusade until it’s all out of your system, and Casey stays._

“No.”

_ I wasn’t asking. It’s called ‘compromise’, and I’ll have you know most of the others agree with me. We all want Casey to come with . _

Dennis closed his eyes in irritation. He knew Patricia, if she would even deign to speak with him, would agree, not to mention some of the other older, more responsible alters. But Casey had gotten her hooks deep into Kevin, and most everyone adored her. If he wanted to be allowed to utilize the Beast, he would need the others on board. He needed to be on their good side, and was currently a single fuck up away from being on the shit list again. He had no room to bargain, and Barry knew it.

“Fin-“

Before he could even finish, Hedwig came roaring out into the light, knocking Dennis back into his chair. “Yay! Mr. Dennis says you can stay now!” he jumped on Casey and they fell off of the bed, Hedwig never quite appreciating that he was in a grown man’s body. Casey laughed despite being crushed under the boy, his joy was contagious.

_For fuck’s sake Hedwig, get up before you suffocate her!_Jade snapped, but she was pleased too. Most all of the alters were delighted, some more secretly than others, but for the first time in a long time, the personalities inside Kevin were unified.

As Hedwig and Casey celebrated in the light, Barry clapped an irritated Dennis on the shoulder. “I knew you’d see it my way. Now that we settled that, can we get going where we need to be?”

“You obviously don’t want my opinion on anything, do what you like,” Dennis grumbled.

“Now now, don’t be like that, Princess. I know this is what you wanted.”

“I wanted to do the right thing. If she gets hurt, this is all on you Barry.”

If he rolled his eyes any harder, Barry would have given himself a headache. “What is it with you being so fixated on her being hurt? What do ya think is possibly going to happen to her?”

There was no point in Dennis explaining it to Barry, he would never understand. He wasn’t the one that went to that train station that homed so many ghosts, removed his shirt, folded it and set it reverently down on the old dilapidated seats. Barry wasn’t the one that willingly passed the light on to a god of suffering that would go on to possess them, drive them, have them carve out a scar of agony across Philadelphia. There were endless tears and blood on Dennis’s hands, and bleach couldn’t ever touch the stain. He knew, he had tried many times. Dennis had brought Kevin full circle: he was now a ruiner, an abuser, a monster. He was Penelope fuckin’ Crumb. Dennis was their downfall, and if they weren’t careful, he would be Casey’s too.

“I’ve said everything I could possibly say about the situation, I’m done,” Dennis brooded, crossing his arms. “So, valiant leader, what next?”

Scowling, Barry was about to snap back, but decided the ensuing fight wouldn’t be worth it. “Casey knows a place. Out in the Poconos. Said it remains empty most of the year. I figure we can hole up there until we get our bearings.”

Dennis hated it. Cleaning up an uninhabited cabin would be a massive pain, and winter was fast approaching. Being snowed in with no food and no running water could be a very real possibility, and now they had Casey to worry about as well.

Barry could tell that Dennis wasn’t happy. “Do ya have a better idea?”

No, he didn’t have a better idea. Between fighting the Beast and escaping Raven Hill, Dennis’s mind had been occupied with other things, like trying to keep them both alive and sane. His silence was enough of an answer.

That was approval enough for Barry. “Well, we agree then. We get some sleep, and then we head north.”

Dennis groaned. He was looking forward to a good night’s rest, but now he had to make contingency plans for living out of a cabin. The list of things they needed would be massive, and money would be tight until he could access his emergency bank account, made under his own name. He had gone through great lengths to repurpose his father’s-well, Kevin’s father’s-social security number as his own. Living in a city as big as Philadelphia, you could find people to do all sorts of things for you, for the right price. And Dennis went to any length to make sure that they would be taken care of in any situation. There was also the fact he had every intention of paying Casey back for the money she had spent on them thus far. He wasn’t going to start his new life by taking money from the woman he had victimized. 

Before he got started though, there was one more thing he had to do.

He blinked into the light, only to see that Hedwig and Casey were curled up on one of the beds, watching cartoons. As calmly as possible he disentangled himself from Casey’s arms, causing her to look at her companion in confusion until she recognized the telltale furrow of his eyebrows. “Dennis?”

“Casey.” He was barely looking at her; he was too preoccupied investigating the shoddy motel sheets they were lying on and trying not to have a panic attack. “This place is disgusting.”

Casey looked at the spot on the sheet he was staring at, trying to see what he saw. It appeared perfectly fine to her, but she wasn’t foolish enough to tell him that. “Yeah, Barry wasn’t sure how you would feel about all this; he thought it best if one of the others spent the night here.”

Now Dennis turned to quirk an eyebrow at her, slightly annoyed. “Barry thinks I’m that fragile?”

“No, not at all!” Casey protested, afraid she would start another argument. “He was just thinking about what would make you most comfortable. There’s no shame in having…you know, your preferences.”

Dennis sighed, standing up. “Compulsions aren’t preferences Casey, but it’s kind of you to be understanding. I’m going to take a shower.”

“But Barry already-“

“I’m going to take a shower,” he repeated, not wanting to have to explain himself further. “Check out time is at eleven in the morning; please make sure you have an alarm set. Knowing Hedwig, he’s going to try to steal the light when I fall asleep, so I might not be around to make sure we get up in time.”

Casey nodded, and with faint acknowledgement on his end, Dennis stepped into the bathroom.

Casey reached over to the nightstand and turned off the lamp, getting under the covers and curling up on the warm spot Hedwig had been occupying. Secretly she hoped the boy would take the light from Dennis. Although she was used to sleeping alone, having him or Barry nearby would make it easier to keep dark thoughts from clouding her mind before she fell into unconsciousness. And dark thoughts usually led to nightmares. She was too afraid to tell Barry that their new roommate had some night terror issues, and didn’t want Dennis to be the one to find out.

She heard the water turn on, and as she drifted off to sleep, she tried not to imagine Dennis undressing and getting into the shower. She tried not to imagine the steam rising around him as he slowly soaped himself up, tried not to imagine the hard outlines of his body shining and wet. Tried not to imagine...

Good GOD, what was she doing? She relaxed her thighs, not realizing that she had them pressed so tightly together, and breathed deeply, trying to make the hot flow of her blood run cool. 

* * *

It couldn’t have been more than a few hours after falling asleep that Casey was urgently shaken out of slumber.

Opening her eyes, she saw Dennis standing over her and for a moment thought she was dreaming, a carryover from her hypnagogic fantasies.

Unfortunately if it was a dream, it didn’t seem to be of the sexy variety. His mouth was pursed, and she could tell he was upset. That jolted all the sleep from her body. “Dennis? What’s wrong?”

Stepping back from the bed, he ran his hand over his head. “You've had a phone this entire time?”

"I...yes?" He woke her up for this?

Pinching the bridge of his nose, she could tell he was trying to calm himself. “Why? You realize we’re trying NOT to be found, correct?”

Understanding finally dawned on her, and she unconsciously burrowed deeper into the covers, as though they would keep her safe from the consequences of her misstep. “I haven't been keeping it on though. Only to get a ride, I swear!”

“That won't stop the police, Casey. And if it does stop the police, it sure as hell wouldn't stop the FBI.”

In the midst of all the excitement, Casey hadn’t even considered that might be a possibility. “I’m so sorry Dennis; I’m already screwing this up for you.”

The anger instantly deflated from him. He owed her so much that by this point he didn’t think he’d ever have the right to be angry with her. The hard lines on his face softened a bit. “And _I'm_ sorry, but I had to get rid of it. Spent the past forty minutes running around town before dropping it in the absolute dirtiest Walmart I have ever had the misfortune of stepping foot in."

The idea of a horrified Dennis stuck in a Walmart struck Casey as hilarious. "How many Walmarts have you been in?"

Gathering up the scant few items they had with them, Dennis paused to think. "Well, just that one. And never again, do you hear me?" He legitimately looked a bit traumatized, and Casey had to bite down on her lip hard so that she wouldn't laugh out loud.

Opening the front door, Dennis took a quick peak outside before motioning to Casey. "Come on, grab your shoes and let’s go. We can’t stay here any longer. You paid for everything in cash, right?"

Nodding her head, Casey followed after him, turning out the lights. And when he instinctively reached out to grab her hand, just in case there was some sort of police ambush waiting for them outside, she tried to force herself to breath.

And when the coast was deemed clear, and he still kept his much larger hand wrapped over hers? It was just because he was preoccupied with their escape and wasn't thinking straight.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have something really, really important to ask you. _Really important_. 
> 
> listen here
> 
> guys
> 
> If Hedwig and Casey were dogs, what breeds would they be? I need to draw this but I can't decide and it's just the worst. Help a sister out.


	7. The Priestess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Patricia has some bad news for Casey. Does Patricia ever bring any good news?  
(no. no she does not.)_

The road to their destination was exhausting. Dennis insisted on taking a taxi further north to Scranton so they could double back on foot to the Poconos. "We can't give the cops a direct route to follow", he had said. Casey couldn’t help but think back to the old Family Circus cartoons she used to read with her father as a child, where Billy would meander through a map taking the longest, most convoluted route possible. This fugitive thing was not nearly as glamours as movies made it out to be. 

To add to that, traveling with Dennis was a harrowing experience. For the first forty minutes or so during the ride, he looked nowhere other than out the window, on high alert for any sign that they were being followed. Just watching him made her skin prickle, like he expected them to drive into an ambush at any second. Their cab driver gave up trying to get him to talk ten minutes into the ride;he just sat there rigidly, arms crossed and eyes glued to the window. Casey awkwardly tried to smooth things over, carrying on with her own half of the conversation, but it was clear that the cabbie was already intimidated into silence.

They drove in relative quiet for a while until Dennis shifted to glance at Casey. He was wearing sunglasses, and she hadn’t even noticed he was looking at her until he cleared his throat.

She looked up, startled. “What is it?”

"We're almost there. You ever been here before?"

Casey glanced out of the window. The highway was giving way to drab city streets, and she studied the rundown buildings in disappointment. “No, this is my first time. Also, this looks nothing like _The Office_.”

Dennis frowned. “What office?”

Casey pretended to be shocked, although she understood by this point that Dennis probably wasn’t much of a television consumer. “_The Office_? Steve Carell? Probably one of the best tv shows in the past decade?”

His face remained blank.

She rolled her eyes. “The show is set here, in Scranton.”

“This sounds more like a Jade or a Luke thing, sorry. I’m afraid I’m hopeless when it comes to tv references. At least, that’s what the others tell me.” He adjusted his sunglasses, and while she couldn't see his eyes, she could tell he was disappointed he couldn't really add to the conversation.

A few minutes later the cab pulled over to the side of the road, indicating that the journey was over. Dennis motioned for Casey to exit the car while he spoke with the driver. She obeyed and watched through the window as he handed the other man the money that was owed, and what she assumed would be a generous tip. They wanted to be on the good side of anyone they came across, less reason for them to stand out in someone’s mind.

When the taxi pulled away, Dennis walked over to join Casey on the curb. “Let’s see about finding some food and a map.”

They began walking in comfortable silence, and Casey couldn’t help but look around every which way. Maybe it was because the day was overcast, but the city was majorly depressing. Mom and pop stores that looked like they had seen better days were spread out between fast food restaurants, and running parallel to them across the street were old train tracks. Yeah, _The Office _this was not.

Suddenly she bumped up against Dennis, not realizing that he had stopped in front of a McDonalds. He turned around briefly to make sure she was alright, then inclined his head towards the fast food building. “This alright? I honestly have no idea what you like to eat.”

Chewing on her inner lip, Casey sighed. She had had more than her fair share of fast food growing up with her Uncle John, it wasn’t like he could be assed to feed her a proper meal. While she still found the food palatable, it certainly wasn’t something she enjoyed. “Yeah, this is fine. You want anything?”

Eyeing the building with distaste, Dennis was about to decline until Casey reminded him they still had a long journey ahead of them. He sighed. “I’ll take whatever you’re having. Please.”

After coming back outside with the food, they ate in silence, enjoying the peace of the relatively empty streets. Peaceful for Casey, that was. Dennis spent most of the meal trying to convince Hedwig to stay in his chair and no, he couldn’t go play in the ball pit, he’d make a giant scene.

Once they were finished, Casey got up and stretched. “So what exactly was the plan? Are we actually walking all the way back south?”

Dennis flexed his upper back, as if to indicate the emergence of the Beast. “So to speak. There’s a bunch of State Parks and Gamelands between this area and the Poconos, it will be easier to move unseen among the trees.”

One map later, and they were on their way.

* * *

The second half of the journey was relatively uneventful. Casey insisted on walking for herself, she wanted to avoid the Beast’s presence for as long as possible. After the first hour, Dennis grew impatient with their slow progress and insisted on taking them the rest of the way. While the Beast couldn’t hope to compete with the speed of a car, he came pretty damn close. With the help the map and few breaks, Casey led them to her childhood getaway cabin within a few hours.

Dennis slipped out of the light, exhausted from keeping a handle on the Beast for so long, and Barry took his place easily. Getting a good look at the property, he let out a low whistle. "Baby girl, this ain’t a cabin, this is a freakin’ lodge. Dennis is going to have a conniption fit trying to keep it all in order.”

Casey cringed, but Barry laughed it off, nudging her good naturedly with his arm. “I kid, it’s absolutely gorgeous! Just how rich is this guy exactly?”

“I really don’t know. Like I said, he owns different vacation properties up and down the east coast. He’s some kind of CFO or something.”

Marching up to the front door as if he already owned the place, Barry peaked inside the glass pane. “Aw shit.” He rested his forehead against the door and chuckled. “Well, the good news is that this place has power. The bad news is that this guy isn’t dumb enough to leave his bougie cabin unprotected.”

Casey moved to the window to see what he was talking about. Sure enough, the telltale sensor and control panel were on the other side of the door. She groaned. “I should have known better.”

“Hmmm..” Barry looked around thoughtfully, clearly not fazed at all by this latest development. Casey wasn’t sure if it was just his trademark optimism or if he really did have an idea. “This place have a basement, doll?”

“I think so.” Casey waved for him to follow her and they trekked around to the other side of the house, passing a screened pool enclosure and hot tub on the way over. 

Barry’s eyes widened and he stared wistfully at the drained pool. “Too bad it's empty, I know what I'd be spending all my free time doing!”

Casey grinned. “Focus Barry. What’s the gameplan?”

“Oh yeah.” He sauntered over to the cellar doors situated next to the porch. The handles were shackled together with heavy chains and padlocked for extra security. “Now I don’t have x-ray vision, but I’ll betcha anything the main electrical panel is down here.”

"Yeah? I'll take that bet."

He winked at her, then without warning reached out and grabbed a length of chain, then pulled hard. The doors ripped away from the concrete easily, as though he were working with paper and not steel.

“Barry!”

“What?” He turned to her, eyes black as charcoal. His tagteaming with the Beast would be the death of them all.

“Just because you CAN do something doesn’t mean you should,” Casey scolded. NOW Dennis was going to have a conniption fit.

“No worries doll, we’ll fix this up nice in no time.”

Frowning at the pieces of broken concrete scattered everywhere, Casey didn’t feel very confident. “If you say so. Now what?”

Holding his hand out to her, Barry led them down the cellar steps. It took them a few minutes to locate due to low visibility, but sure enough the panel was hanging on the west side of the basement. Casey shuddered, she had never been down here as a child, and it was no wonder why. It looked like something straight out of _The Evil Dead_.

Barry went to open the box and switch the circuit breaker off, then suddenly jumped back so fast that he almost tripped over Casey. She moved to steady him, concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“I uh…” he rubbed the back of his head and pointed to the wall in front of them. “I’m not such a big fan of spiders.”

Curious, Casey could just barely make out the form of a fairly large Wolf Spider. It had to at least be the length of her pointer finger. She leaned in to get a better look through the gloom of the basement. “God, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen one that big.”

“Don’t get so close!” Barry hissed. He put his hands on his forehead, grimacing, and for a moment he looked like he was losing control. Just as suddenly, he stood up straight, and Dennis had the light.

He looked around at their surroundings, squinting in the dim light and fumbling for his glasses. “Casey? What's wrong with Barry? I literally can’t stay away for more than a few minutes without having to come back and clean up one of his messes.”

There was another convulsion and Dennis was gone, replaced by Hedwig. “Hey Casey, what’s going on? Wooow, look at the size of that thing.” He reached out to grab it, and then jerked his hand back as if he had touched a hot stove. The alters cycled once again, and Casey was beginning to get concerned.

The most recent alter tisked at Hedwig.“No touching please. The Lycosidae's venom is not deadly to humans, but I do hear the bite is quite painful.” 

Casey sighed. It seemed she was now stuck in a dark basement with the one alter that still frightened her. “Hello Patricia. Wolf Spiders need to have a powerful bite as they don't actually build webs, they stalk their food like an actual wolf would.” If the woman were a little less terrifying, Casey might actually think they had a bit of an inside joke going on with their animal factoids.

“Casey.” Patricia dipped her head gracefully, a near predatory smile playing on her lips. "I see you remain sharp as always. You are a fascinating young woman."

If that was a compliment, Casey would take it. “How are you?”

Without flinching, Patricia opened the electrical panel up and flipped the breaker, paying no mind to the massive eight legged monstrosity nearby. “I must admit, I have seen better days, what with my Horde being in disarray. And my goodness, for such strong men, a spider really has thrown our boys into quite a tizzy."

“Thank God they have us to protect them,” Casey joked, smiling weakly.

That animalistic smirk was back. “Indeed. Come now lamb, let’s you and I have a chat.”

Casey stood frozen in place. She really did not believe that Patricia had her best interests at heart, and she wasn’t keen on going anywhere with her. Patricia reached out to gently rub a thumb over her cheek. “Do relax. If I intended to hurt you, I would have. And know I hold no such intention. In fact, it seems we have more in common than I previously thought. Please, hear me out.”

It didn’t feel like Casey had a choice. If she was going to be living with Kevin and all of his alters, it would be best to be at peace with all of them. She nodded. “Alright.”

They walked up the cellar stairs leading into the house, and the door swung open easily, leading into a dining room. Patricia hummed to herself, looking around at their surroundings. The inside of the cabin was just as luxurious as the outside, if the massive mahogany table and chandelier hanging over them was any indication. “Hmmm…I think this will do nicely. Well done, Casey.”

All sorts of childhood memories assailed Casey as she stepped through the doorway, so much so that she barely registered what Patricia had said. “This will do nicely for what?”

Patricia frowned, clearly annoyed that Casey wasn’t keeping up with the conversation. “To serve as a shelter for god, of course.”

A chill ran down Casey’s spine. All they needed was for Patricia to start talking nonsense again. “God? You mean the Beast? He’s not a god, Patricia, Dennis beat him.”

She expected her challenge to incur Patricia’s anger, but instead the older woman dabbed at her eyes, clearly distraught. “He adores you, and yet you still continue with your blasphemy.” 

“He adores me? Who?” For the briefest of moments, she nonsensically thought Patricia was referring to Dennis, but then the reality of what she was saying dawned on her. “You mean the Beast?”

Recognizing the hope in Casey’s face, Patricia narrowed her eyes. She had secretly wondered if the young woman harbored some sort of feelings for Kevin, or at the very least one of the others, and her suspicions had just been confirmed. “Of course I mean the Beast, who else would I be referring to?”

Flushing in shame, Casey still refused to look away from the other woman. She wasn’t going to tip toe around the Beast’s priestess anymore. “It doesn’t matter. Is this all you wanted to talk about? Because I didn’t buy what you were selling months ago, and I sure as hell don’t now.”

“Oh no, I think you’ll want to hear what I have to say, dove. Come with me, let’s explore the kitchen and see if we can’t find some tea.”

Finding her curiosity was outweighing her annoyance, Casey obediently followed Patricia through the dining and living rooms into the kitchen. While not as large as the other areas, it was still quite impressive. A marble table was the centerpiece of the room, surrounded by cherry wood cabinets and chairs. The ceiling was vaulted and a smaller version of the chandelier out in the dining room hung over them. The stairs to the second floor were located on the far end. Already making herself at home, Patricia began searching through the cabins and tins, on the prowl for her beverage of choice.

Deciding she’d rather make herself busy then just stand there and feel awkward, Casey joined her, finding the kettle and going to fill it with water from the sink. She turned the faucet, then cursed. “Shit! We forgot to turn on the water.”

“Language, my dear. That’s no way for a young woman to speak.”

Casey rolled her eyes, about to remind Patricia that she was the last woman on earth to grouse about manners, but she held her tongue. She was trying to build bridges, not burn them. “Yeah, sorry.”

“Never you mind. Why don’t you head back down to the cellar and get that water situation fixed, and I’ll see if I can sort the alarm system out. It won't do to be without power long in this weather.”

Shrugging her shoulders, Casey turned to leave the kitchen and retraced her steps back to the basement door. While down in the dark, stumbling around to look for the water valve, a loud bang rang out upstairs and Casey jumped so high she nearly hit the wooden beams of the ceiling. Now in a hurry, she followed the water pipes to the main water valve and turned the handle, then sprinted back upstairs.

Patrica was waiting for her, and at her feet lay various pieces of the alarm system. Holy shit, Patricia too? “Why do every single one of you just resort to punching things if there’s a problem? It’s like living with the Hulk!” Casey yelled, exasperated. How were they going to fix this? Installing a new cellar door was one thing, but not an entire home security system.

Patricia just winked at her, obviously pleased with herself. “Now we have water AND electricity. Isn’t it wonderful? Be a dear and turn it back on, won’t you?”

At this point, Casey was pretty sure Patricia was trying to see how many errands she could get her to run, but dutifully did as she was asked.

When she returned to the kitchen, she found the other woman looking rather grim. As she reached for some tea cups, Patricia finally confessed what was really on her mind. “Listen here dove. I don’t have much more time in the light, the others are growing impatient with me. Will you hear me out?”

Casey raised her eyebrows, obviously waiting for her to continue.

Patricia began pouring them some English Breakfast Tea. “You have entered into a pact of survival with us. Any and all measures must be taken to ensure our continued existence. Dennis will not listen to me. Barry will not listen to me. You care for Kevin and have outside perspective, so I hope you will listen to me.”

This got Casey’s attention. “Alright, I’m listening.”

Tears glistened in Patricia’s eyes. “The Beast is waning. The others’ refusal to feed him is beginning to take its toll, I can feel it. It is not much, because he is impossibly strong, but it’s there. If he’s not fed properly he will die. And I have no doubt we would perish soon after.”

It felt like Casey had just been hit by a truck, all the air being knocked from her. Could it possibly be true? Was Kevin’s survival actually tied to the Beast's? “How is that possible? How can a fragment of Kevin’s mind actually die?”

Scoffing, Patricia turned, angrily wiping tears away from her eyes. “Haven’t you grasped it by now? The Beast is not a mere alter. He is the next step of human evolution; he doesn’t reside within the confines of our own existence, or even reality. He’s extraordinary.”

The aching fear in Casey was threatening to overwhelm her. “Kevin...but..." It wasn't fair, she couldn't lose them again. "Kevin can’t die, I won’t let him,” she whispered, more to herself than Patricia.

“I knew you would understand. Please, you must talk sense into the others. I know Dennis believes he is on some holy crusade for redemption, but what good is salvation if we are dead?”

Casey was no fool. There was every chance Patricia was lying to her, but the possibility that she could be right was enough to make Casey ill. “I’ll talk to him. I don’t know what you expect us to do, but I’ll talk to him.”

A sigh of relief escaped Patricia, and she gently clasped Caseys’s hands. She certainly seemed sincere enough. “Thank you. I knew we could count on you. I will fetch him now.”

Nodding, Casey held her breath and waited for Dennis to take hold of the light. She had seen it many times by now, but the process always fascinated her. Patricia’s elongated neck and gently sloping shoulders straightened and squared themselves until Kevin’s body became a living, breathing rock. Reaching for his glasses in the front pocket of his shirt, Dennis had emerged. He briefly glanced around at his new surroundings before fixing Casey with his stare. “You were discussing something with Patricia? She said you had something you needed to tell me.” He crossed his arms, waiting.

Suddenly feeling foolish, Casey stammered. She knew that no matter how convincing Patricia seemed to her, Dennis would never give her concerns the time of day. She might as well just come out with it. “Patricia claims that the Beast will die if he doesn’t get, you know, sacred food, or whatever the hell you were calling it.”

The silence that hung between them seemed deafening, and then Dennis shocked the hell out of Casey by chuckling. Had she ever seen him laugh before? Her mouth dropped open. “What’s so funny?”

“Assuming she’s telling the truth…_assuming_,” he emphasized, “how would that be a bad thing?” He briefly remembered having this conversation with the Beast before, back at Raven Hill, but he had assumed the threat of death was a lie. Why _wouldn't_ they lie to try to regain control? 

"She said that if the Beast died, you all would die with him.”

Any hint of mirth on Dennis’s face disappeared. “Maybe we should die.”

Those words hurt Casey more than she possibly could have imagined. She searched his face for some sign that he was making a tasteless joke, but saw nothing but naked, painful honesty. “Please don’t say that.”

He scoffed, but when he saw she really was upset, he sobered. “It doesn’t matter anyway, Patricia is lying. Alters can’t die the same way you or Kevin can, we’re not…” he searched for the right words. “We’re not material. Not physical. We’re just-“ he pointed to his temple. “We’re just in here. We don’t exist like you do. We only die if Kevin does.”

His words rang true, and they should have been comforting, but the fear in Patricia’s eyes had been haunting. “But what if you’re wrong?”

“I’m not.”

“But you didn’t see-“

Shaking his head, Dennis sighed. “Don’t let Patricia get into your head, nothing good can come of it. I should have never listened to her myself.” He sidestepped past her, walking into the open space of the living area. He would have to have words with Patrica about trying to make Casey do her dirty work.

Taking in the layout of the cabin, he found himself both impressed and irritated. It truly was a gorgeous home, but Dennis didn’t really get to appreciate gorgeous when he had cleanliness first and foremost to be concerned with. He took note of all the various ways Hedwig could get himself into trouble, and started compiling a mental list of things he would have to do to “Hedwig-proof” the place. Not to mention the food, supplies, and most importantly, money that they would need. And providing all of that meant going back to Philly. One more time.

"What do you think?" Casey asked, taking her place next to him. She had to put a pin in the Beast talk for now, it was clear he wasn't interested in discussing it further.

Looking down at her, Dennis was suddenly filled with the intense desire to provide for her at any cost. She had been through so much, and she still retained a palpable love of life that radiated from her every cell. She was a bit like Hedwig and Barry that way. He had to protect that at any cost. He had to bite the bullet, tell her he was leaving again. "I know things have been very hectic, but there's one more trip I have to make. I'm going back to Philadelphia, grab some things that were left behind in our rush to get away."

He watched her shoulders slump, clearly tired. "Can I at least get a nap before we go? I feel like we've been moving non-stop."

_Here we go_ he thought. "You can sleep whenever you'd like, you're staying here."

To say she was incredulous was an understatement. "Wait, you're going without me?" 

_Now hold on just a damn second!_

Dennis sighed. He didn’t think he could deal with being tag teamed by Casey AND Barry. He stepped aside to allow the other man to come into the light alongside him.“You got something to say to me, oh extroverted leader?”

Surfacing, Barry rolled his eyes.“Stop calling me that! Dr. Fletcher called me that once. _Once_! Time to get over it. And yes, I do have something to say. Why the _hell_ did we spend all that time coming over here just to head back again?”

"I'm kind of making this up as we go, Barry. I don't exactly have a guidebook for this sort of thing."

"Fine! But how about we actually sit down and plan this out instead of rushing around doing whatever seems like a good idea at the time. All this spontaneous decision making is really unlike ya Dennis. I'm gettin' worried." 

“Worried? The time for worrying is long gone. I don’t know if you remember, but you wanted Casey to stick around, so fine. Fine! However I’ve had certain provisions set in place in case of an emergency, and it’s time to utilize them. And we can move much faster if we go solo, without Casey. It's safer for her here.”

“But, but…” Barry trailed off, grasping for words. How was Dennis alright with the idea of leaving her in the middle of nowhere, all by herself?

Dennis got what he was about without him even having to say a word. “I _told_ you that if you made me bring Casey along, it would get dangerous. Did you think I was being difficult for shits and giggles?”

“Um, well yea-”

Casey cut off what was sure to be another argument between the two men. “Don’t worry about me Barry. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m a bit of a survivor. I do well under pressure, you could say.”

Dennis understood she was being sardonic, but he still flinched. It was damn true though, she was the bravest person he had ever met, even when he himself had been the one to put her in harm’s way. He gazed at her in that unflinching way of his, hoping he was doing the right thing. “You know that I initially was resistant to you joining us because that required a commitment to keeping you safe. But I agreed, so here we are.”

Casey blushed. She knew he felt like she was an imposition, but he didn’t have to keep reminding her.

Understanding her discomfort, Dennis gentled slightly. “I’m not saying that to make you feel guilty. I’m telling you so that you understand the parameters of this…relationship.”

The word “relationship” hitched in his throat, but she didn’t point it out. “And those would be?”

“You’re under my protection now, and you know when I commit to something I don’t half-ass it. If I ask you to do something, it’s to keep you safe, alright? And if you need something, you just ask me.” He fidgeted, starting to feel a bit vulnerable. He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not so used to worrying about other people, not outside of Kevin at least. But I’m trying Casey. To take care of you. I wouldn't be going if it weren't necessary.”

Barry found himself nodding along to Dennis's words, he could certainly get on board with all of that. He reached out to grab Casey's hand, and her touch spread warmth across their chest. Dennis couldn’t tell where his feelings ended and Barry’s began. This tiny thing had them wrapped up in knots, and she had no idea.

"You sure about this, doll?" Bringing her fingers to his lips, Barry planted a soft kiss on her palm and Dennis tried not to wince. Barry had always been a touchy man, but this was getting dangerously close to something else entirely. And if Barry couldn't control himself, Dennis had no hope of keeping his own feelings in check.

Wrapping her arms around their waist, Casey sighed. "I'm sure. Just come back to me soon."

They would come back to her. Of that, the two men were in agreement.


	8. Dark Night of the Soul

_Pain looks great on other people_  
_That's what they're for_

_I was wrong_  
_I was wrong to ever doubt_  
_I can get along without_  
_I can love my fellow man_  
_But I'm damned if I'll love yours_

_-The Sisters of Mercy "I Was Wrong"_

It was seven o’clock in the morning by the time Dennis arrived back at the cabin.

Before he could even reach the front porch, Casey had thrown the door wide open so that he could see for himself that she had made it through the night safely. She ran out to greet him, relieved to see him in one piece. “Are you hurt? Did you get what you needed? What happened?” She bombarded him with questions that he could barely keep track of in his exhausted state.

The smell of warm cinnamon oatmeal wafted out the doorway past her, and his eyes lit up appreciatively. “Casey,” he groaned, reaching out to steady himself against her. “I’m fine, I'm ok. I just need to…I need sleep. Hungry. Then we’ll talk.”

Happy to be able to do something, anything, Casey waved him inside to the kitchen and pulled out a chair, which he practically collapsed into. Running to the kitchen counter she grabbed the oatmeal and began spooning a liberal amount into a bowl. “There’s not a ton of food here, but they did leave a bunch of non-perishables,” she explained. “I wasn’t sure if you’d eaten or not, but better safe than sorry. “

“Thank you, that was thoughtful.” Despite his stomach screaming at him, Dennis began to eat carefully, making sure not to spill even a drop on the pristine marble table.

“Would you like me to make some coffee or tea?”

He shook his head. “No thank you. All we need is to rest; it’s been a long night.”

Ignoring him, Casey pulled out a pitcher of ice water from the fridge and poured him a glass. “You gotta drink something.”

He downed the glass within seconds, and Casey poured him another one. “Are you sure you’re not thirsty?” she smirked, but he was too tired to respond with anything other than a grunt. It was obvious he was just barely keeping himself conscious, but Casey was deathly curious as to what had transpired the night before. She had to ask again. “What did you get in Philly?”

He didn’t want to tell her. He was trying so hard to be good, and he had been. He had been pushed, but he hadn’t killed. 

Still, there was blood. A lot of it. And it was so unusual for him to have a listening ear, which actually_ wanted _to hear from him. Despite the exhaustion, he found himself recounting the previous night’s events.

* * *

_His body ached. His use of the Beast as a literal beast of burden was taking a toll on their body, and secretly he wondered if Patricia was telling the truth. If they would perish if he depleted all of the Beast’s strength without offering him the flesh of the unbroken as sustenance._ _ The _ _issue would have to wait though. It was best to tackle one problem at a time, and he came back to his old home to take care of a very big problem-namely being a fugitive with no money and no documentation. Fortunately for him, he had answers._

_ It paid to have connections in a city as big as Philadelphia. _

_ As he lithely prowled the streets, he could move a bit more freely. The only ones out at this time of night were other broken, those who held no love for the bureaucracy that had oppressed them, let them down all of their lives. A few vagrants even recognized him as the vessel for the Beast, and bowed their heads reverently. Dennis paid them no mind; no one deserved veneration less than he or the creature that possessed him. _

_ “They would give us offerings and homage if we but asked it,” the Beast rumbled, and Dennis could feel his desperate hunger for flesh that boarded on ravenous. _

_ “Shut up,” he growled, and the Beast fell silent. _

_ He found the man he was searching for easily enough, but then Shondell always made sure to make himself available for those that knew where to look. The room he operated out of was nondescript, but the things that took place inside of it shaped the city with or without its residents’ awareness. _

_Padding out of the darkness, Dennis made sure to make his approach known. Shondell never seemed to have an itchy trigger finger, but it wouldn’t do to start negotiations on bad terms. The waif of a black man that stood_ _ in front of him wasn’t the least bit physically intimidating, but Dennis knew he could bring the entire city down on its knees if he so chose. He wasn't someone you wanted to have as an enemy, that was for sure._

_They had met years ago. Dennis needed his own bank account and thus needed a name for himself, a number, a license, all those things required for the government to acknowledge you as a person, as valid. Shondell could provide those things, and his price was simple-access to the maintenance tunnels underneath the zoo. Dennis never asked what he used them for, and an explanation was never offered. A key was a small price to pay for financial security under Dennis’s own terms._

* * *

“So what did he want from you this time?” Casey interrupted. She was increasingly becoming nervous that Dennis had done something…unsavory again.

Shame filled him as he realized what Casey was really asking: did he renege on his vows to not kill already? “It’s not what you think, Casey.” He studied his now empty water glass, observing the patterns on its surface. “He wanted me to pay someone a visit for him.”

* * *

_ “He owes me,” Shondell had explained. _

_ “I'm not killing anyone for you.” Dennis insisted. And he wouldn’t, he’d figure something else out if he had to. _

_ “No no, not kill. Just want you to send him a message. Bitch ass owes me, and he’s draggin’ his Nikes.” _

_ “Why me?” _

_ For whatever reason, Shondell found the question hilarious and cackled, spilling the Yuengling he had been holding all over the front of Dennis’s shirt. Dennis froze, trying with everything in him not to attempt to clean up the mess. _

_ “You serious? You really think this guy is going to pussy out on me if he thinks the Beast is in my pocket? Think about it, it’s perfect! ‘The Beast’ is reported making havoc out on the southside, the cops will be swarming the area looking for you. I’ll have my boys make sure there’s talk about Beast sightings all over the city, get you some relief from the piggies. By the time you’re back I’ll have all your papers, and I’ll get what’s owed me. ” _

_ “No one dies tonight,” Dennis repeated._

* * *

Casey stared at Dennis dubiously. “Were you…tempted at all? To give in?”

Watching the dust motes float through the beam of sunlight pouring through the kitchen window, Dennis debated just how much he should tell her. But the answer was clear to him before he even finished asking the question: he would tell her everything.

* * *

_He found the man right where Shondell said he would be-The Trestle Inn . It was closed for the night as liquor was unable to be served past two AM, but the backroom was still buzzing with activity._

_Getting in was no problem to someone impervious to bullets. With one thunderous kick, Dennis broke the door in half and suddenly the room came alive with screams and warning yells. _ _Dust and splintered wood rained down on them as Dennis stalked over to his prey, a weasel of a man in glasses and skinny jeans. The room was full of performers and clients, and the only two bodyguards on duty were slow to draw their weapons._

_“Try it,” Dennis taunted, his voice low with warning._

_ They shot quickly and inaccurately, but bullets still found their mark, and Dennis grunted as two tore through the meat in his shoulder and serratus anterior. It hurt like hell, but in the morning the injury would just be another memory. _ _Seeing the bullets pierce him harmlessly made something click for one of the shooters, and he dropped his gun in surrender. “That’s the fucking Beast that’s been killin’ all those girls. Fuck, we’re fucked!”_

_ The man whom owed Shondell money-Francis- dropped to his knees. “Please, what the fuck do you want from me!?” _ _Dennis tried to remain intimidating, keep his mind on the mission, but one of the girls cowering in the back looked so much like Casey that he got distracted and his heart briefly stopped. _ _Francis noticed the direction of his gaze and immediately tried to bargain for his life. “You like ‘em young, right? You want the bitch? She’s all yours.”_

_ One of the bodyguards pushed the young woman forward and she fell to her knees, too terrified to scream, even whimper. The room had fallen silent, end everything inside Dennis simultaneously froze and turned red with rage. He was exposed, and everyone knew his secret shame. He hated himself. He was so tired of hating himself. _ _In the midst of his fury his grasp on the Beast was slipping, and he could feel the alter exerting more and more control over their body. Now that he was blind, the Beast’s sense of smell was near supernatural. Scents and smells that were not usually detectable to Dennis’s very human nose suddenly became apparent ; he could hear everyone’s heart pounding erratically, almost tasted the fear in the air. __The scent of marrow in Francis's bones called out to him. _

_Dennis leaned down, forcing the other man onto his knees, broken and humiliated, the same way he humiliated that young woman. Francis screamed in agony as his shoulder dislocated and his collarbone snapped, and Dennis could feel something sharp poking his palm underneath the skin. "_ _**Do it. Twist his arm off and let me drink his fluids**,” the Beast coaxed . "**Break his bones, suck out the marrow!**” More animal then human now, Dennis leaned down and licked Francis's face slowly, tasting him. The other man started crying, tears leaking down his cheeks, tangy salt mixing with sweat. It was almost too much and the Beast nearly took complete control._

_ Soft weeping interrupted his blood lust, and Dennis ripped his gaze from his target back over to the young woman on the ground. His eyes roamed over her barely concealed thighs, her stomach, and he was losing himself. The Beast’s hunger for flesh, HIS hunger for a different type of flesh, it was burning him up. _

_Then his eyes met hers and he saw Casey’s visage once again. It wasn’t much, but it was enough for him to remember who he was. He breathed once, breathed twice, and then his grip on the Beast solidified once more. He had retained his humanity. He had passed his dark night of the soul. _ _He threw Francis down on the ground, disgusted with his own near loss of control. Only the man’s collarbone had been broken, but Dennis assumed that was enough to show he meant business. He didn’t feel like hurting anyone anymore. “You owe Shondell money. I suggest you pay up,” he snarled._

_ Francis nodded weakly, in too much pain to say anything. It was clear he got the message. _

_ Satisfied, Dennis walked over to the girl, who was still trying to make herself disappear through the floorboards. He stepped softly, as though the quiet would be enough to soothe her fear. He crouched down next to her, gently raising her chin with a finger so she was looking at him. She gasped in surprise. The black holes that were once his eyes had now given way to an ocean blue. _

_ “What’s your name?” Dennis asked her. _

_ “A…Ayana,” she stammered out. _

_ He helped her to her feet, and then turned to look at Frank again. “You hurt Ayana, and I’ll know. I’ll come back. I’m a man of my word.”_

* * *

“Fortunately for us Shondell is also a man of his word. He gave me a new social security card, a new license; I can finally access my bank account again!” Shaking his head as though in disbelief, Dennis looked up at Casey with a confidence he hadn’t felt since before Raven Hill. “We’re actually going to be ok, I think.”

Almost reverently she reached out to touch his hand. “I never doubted we would be, Dennis. Also, I want you to know…I’m proud of you. I bet the others are too.”

He would have smiled, but smiling always took a bit more energy for Dennis than it did most people. His shoulders sagged. “We can talk later. I need to sleep.”

Motioning for him to follow her, Casey led him up the kitchen stairs to the second floor and down the hallway. “These first two rooms are bedrooms, and there’s a bathroom down at the end on the right, if I’m remembering correctly,” she pointed out.

Nodding gratefully, Dennis entered the first bedroom to the right and collapsed onto the unmade kingsize bed. Realizing that there were no sheets, Casey ran to the armoire at the back of the hall and was pleased to find some blankets inside. Hoping they were clean enough for Dennis, she grabbed a few and brought them back to his room. He was already passed out, so she gently laid the duvet over his legs and backed out of the room quietly.

She spent the day cleaning up the messes Barry and Patricia had made, dusting, and searching the cabin up and down for items that might be of use to them. She ran out of things to do by mid-afternoon, having done most of it the night before while Dennis was away. She did score some Campbell’s Chicken Soup in the kitchen and made the entire can, hoping she would at least have some company for dinner, but there wasn’t a peep from upstairs. To be fair, that sort of traveling would make anyone exhausted, superhuman or not.

By the time bedtime rolled around, the house was near spotless. Spotless for most people at least, she was sure Dennis would go on another cleaning round himself. Or ten. Whatever floated his boat.

Thinking it at least prudent to check on him before she turned in for the night (he was being so very quiet, after all), Casey headed upstairs and got ready for bed the best she could. She was without pajamas or a toothbrush, but thankfully had found some toothpaste and soap in the upstairs bathroom the night before and made due with that. After washing her face and brushing her teeth, she made her way over to Dennis's bedroom.

Gently opening the door so as not to wake him, she noticed the comforter had slide off of the bed. She padded softly over to where it was and retrieved it off of the ground. As she went to lay it back down over her friend, the man stirred and turned around, looking up at her with clear blue eyes.

_Kevin._

She knew it was Kevin, because she couldn’t help but think that it was like looking into a Basset Hound’s eyes, so big and earnest and a little sad. 

“Hey you.” His voice was soft, almost ethereal, and as non-existent as he had felt his entire life.

“Hey Kev.” She was almost afraid to breathe, like any sudden movements would startle him and he’d flee the light. “I’m happy to see you.”

He looked at her like maybe he thought she was making fun of him, but then she lay down beside him and placed a hand on his chest. He covered hers with his own. Glancing around and taking note of the relative luxury of the bedroom, he cocked an eyebrow. “Where are we now?”

“A cabin, out in the Poconos. Belongs to an old family friend.”

“Pretty ornate in here. Barry must be thrilled." He leaned over her to get a better look at the stuffed animal heads that mounted the wall across from them. "How much time has passed since I’ve last been in the light?”

Casey had to think a minute. “It’s only been about two days.”

Eyes widening, Kevin sat up in shock. “Seriously? That makes it, what, four times in the past month? It’s been years since I’ve done that last.” Awe lit up his face, and a smile played on his lips. “It must be because you’re here.”

The idea that she could have a positive impact was pleasant, but it was a foreign one. Uncle John always told her she was good for nothing but trouble, nothing but heartache. “It’s a lot easier to face life when you’re not doing it by yourself.”

His goofy lopsided smile was back. “I’m never by myself, you know that.”

“You’re right. But now you have me too. You’ve got a whole team of kick-ass going for you.”

He exhaled sharply through his nose in a bit of amusement. Pulling the cover over them both, Kevin lay back down and placed a gentle hand on her cheek. “So about that... Are you ever going to tell me how we met? I know…something horrible happened back at the zoo, but…”he trailed off. In his head he knew he wanted the truth, but he wasn't sure if his heart could handle it.

His internal struggle was playing out on his face and Casey knew then and there, looking into those mournful hound dog eyes, that she could never tell him what really happened the day the Beast first emerged. “Maybe someday. It's not much of a bedtime story, you know?”

It was obvious she was reluctant to reveal details, and the thought made Kevin impossibly sad. Whatever she was trying to protect him from would most likely break him if he knew, he understood that. It just filled him with an unfathomable grief that he could have been a part of something so terrible. "Someday then," he repeated, squeezing her hand. 

Casey stayed by his side until he fell asleep, his breathing becoming rhythmic and nearly lulling her to sleep herself. She didn’t want to though, not here where there was a myriad of alters she could end up waking next to. For a time she just lay there and listened to Kevin's gentle breaths correspond to the rising and falling of his chest.

Before sleep could actually overtake her, she quietly got up and tip toed out to the bedroom next door. She still had a bunch of questions for Dennis, but it didn't seem like she would be getting any more answers tonight. The sooner she went to bed and morning came, the sooner she would get to see him again.


	9. The Guardian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey's having a rough time of things, so she and Dennis have a tete-a-tete

_Mr. Dennis, Casey is yelling a lot and won’t stop!_

Hedwig's panicked pleading cut through the thick fog of sleep Dennis had been enjoying. He came rushing into the light and heard her cries for himself, automatically grabbing his glasses off of the nightstand and vaulting from his bedroom to Casey’s next door.

With all the grace of a rampaging bull he barreled through the door, expecting to find some sort of wild animal or stranger attacking her. Quickly taking stock of the situation, he saw that the only other creature present besides himself and Casey was the mounted deer head hanging over the fireplace. He halted, understanding dawning on him. Whatever was tormenting Casey was in her mind, and he felt ill equipped to help her, comfort was always Barry’s thing. He had no time to wait for any of the others to come out though, listening to her cries was torturous.

Stepping closer, he saw that tears stained her face and the sheets were soaked with sweat-telltale signs of unrest that he knew all too well. He didn’t want to startle her, shaking her awake when she most likely was dreaming of her uncle would be the worst thing he could possibly do. He crouched down by the bed so he wasn’t looming above her and whispered her name over and over, trying to break through into her nightmares. “Casey, you’re alright. Nothing can hurt you, I’m here.” Hesitantly he lay a hand on hers and gently rubbed circles with his thumb, trying to bring her awareness to anywhere other than inside of her head.

With a start, she lurched off of the mattress, and Dennis had to catch her before she dove headfirst into the corner of the nightstand. She let out a yelp, feeling his arms around her while she was still trapped inside her mind with her uncle. Dennis quickly lay her down on the ground, trying to prevent her from hurting either of them.

Murmuring reassurances, he began stroking her hand again, hoping he wasn’t agitating her further. Eventually she began to become conscious of his voice, the dream slowly fading into the background of her memory. Shame kept her from opening her eyes and she just lay on the ground and wept.

“Casey?” Dennis gasped, unaware that he had even been holding his breath. “Are you awake?”

“I’m sorry, Dennis.” Her voice was so low he almost didn’t hear her, and he couldn’t believe that she was apologizing to him.

“Can I bring you back to bed?” he reached out to touch her back and she didn’t flinch, just cried harder. He got no reply, so he gently scooped her up off of the ground. _Barry, I need you_,__ he called out, and the younger alter was there in an instant. Eyes widening at the trembling young woman in their arms, he pulled her tightly to their chest and looked to Dennis for some sort of explanation. _She has nightmares_,__ was all he offered, and Barry nodded in understanding. Dennis stepped back and let Barry do what he was best at. Danger had been neutralized, so his job was done.

Still, he remained near the light, watching Barry carry Casey over to their bedroom, murmuring something into her ear. “I’m sorry,” he heard her repeating, and the realization that the apologies were her automatic response to abuse made Dennis’s blood boil. Barry felt his anger and shot him a questioning look, but Dennis shook his head. _It’s not important now. Just see if you can help her_.

Gently placing her down on his bed, Barry knelt down beside it, taking Casey’s hands and rubbing them with his own. “It was just a bad dream hon, you’re safe now. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“I’m sorry Barry,” she whimpered for the millionth time, embarrassment and tears causing her face to flush.

“Shhh, there’s absolutely nothing to be sorry for. We’ve had nightmares for years, I understand.”

“It was my uncle,” she offered weakly, and he nodded, unsurprised.

“I still dream about Kevin’s mother from time to time, and she’s been dead for six years. It’s going to happen; it’s just a part of healing.” He gently brushed back an errant piece of hair that was stuck to her forehead. “At least, that’s what Dr. Fletcher used to tell us.”

Casey shook, trying to bury herself under the sheets. “Nothing about this feels healing to me.”

“I know,” he soothed. “How can I help?”

“Please…stay? Don’t leave me alone.”

“Of course.” Barry walked to the other side of the bed and stretched out next to her, making sure to remain on top of the covers. “Are ya alright with me touching you?” Casey turned over and threw her arms around his neck, allowing him to hold her.

For the next half hour he quietly told her stories about his time working at the Philadelphia Zoo. He weaved together images of white tigers, wolves, and pandas, replacing all the shadows in her mind with soft fur and playful wolf pups. At some point he felt her breathing slow to a steady rhythm, and he whispered a “thank you” to whatever deity that was still bothering to listen to him. 

Relaxing, he allowed himself to fall asleep alongside his dearest friend. There were no more disturbances that night, and tigers and wolves stood guard over their dreams.

* * *

The next morning Casey was reluctant to speak about the previous night, and Barry had no desire to push her. Dennis was a different story, however.

As he sat down to make a list of things that would be needed to spend the winter there, he asked Casey to join him. She did so reluctantly, sitting next to him at the large marbled table in the kitchen. Between the two, they came up with quite a list of supplies needed to see them through the next couple of months.

“And you said this place belongs to a friend of your uncle?” Dennis inquired, placing the cap back on his pen. He was sure there would be more to add later on, but that could wait. He needed to know just what exactly he had gotten himself into.

“He was a friend of my father’s, but yes, my uncle knew him,” Casey replied, picking at a fingernail.

Dennis sighed and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “Did something happen to you here Casey?”

She blanched and stared up at him, eyes wide in shock. “Why would you ask that?”

“Well, we’ve spent a few nights with you already and you seemed to sleep fine until we got here. I assume something about this place is triggering you.” Leaning forward, he looked at her with what he hoped came off as empathy. “If there’s something about this cabin that makes you uncomfortable, I need to know so we can find another residence before the weather gets much colder. We can’t be worrying about you having panic attacks while we are snowed in in the middle of nowhere.”

Embarrassment made tears prick at Casey’s eyes, and she crossed her arms, hugging herself and looking anywhere but at Dennis. “I’ve only ever been here as a kid with my father, not my uncle, so no, nothing happened here.” She waited for him to say something, anything, but he remained silent. “I’m sorry about last night, it won’t happen again,” she added, hoping that would placate him and he wouldn’t make her leave.

Dennis pursed his lips. “That’s really not something that’s under your control. I’m not trying to make you feel bad; I just need to understand what exactly is threatening to you about this place.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you need to know?”

He cocked his head, not understanding her confusion. “That’s my job. As the first born, I am our Guardian. Since you are living with us now, your safety is my responsibility as well.”

“First born…alter?”

He gave a slight nod, and suddenly Casey felt like weeping, like all of the pain in the world was converging on them out of nowhere. The impression was almost one of reverence, like she was looking at something, someone, that wasn’t meant to exist in the world.

If Dennis noticed, he didn’t comment. “Yes. When Kevin was three, he tripped and skinned his knee. He ran to his mother for comfort, and instead she just held him down and poured bleach onto the open wound. I came into existence that night.”

Casey’s eyes closed and her nostrils flared in sympathy, but she said nothing, so Dennis continued.

“The cut got infected. Bleach is not meant to be used on the human body, and certainly not on damaged tissue. Some of my earliest memories are of shivering in 95 degree weather, in agony. I thought we were dying, and it didn’t stop until Kevin’s father came home and rushed us to the hospital. But I knew, even back then, that the pain was mine to carry, and I had to be strong enough. Every burn and whipping, every violation, I came to the light and told Kevin to sleep, because it belonged to me.”

Without thinking, Casey reached out to grip his arm, horrified at the thought of what was done to the little boy. She knew it was bad, but she wasn’t prepared for the brutality of it. “Dennis, I-” she began, but he cut her off.

“Please, let me finish. I don’t think I’ll be able to start again if I stop.”

She nodded her consent, tentatively grabbing for his hand. He didn’t stop her. 

“When Kevin hit puberty, his mother found…new ways to torture him. She was a contagion, and I was the wall that kept her away. I tried for so long and hard to keep her sickness at bay, but she got through. She infected me.” Absentmindedly he scratched at his neck, eyes unfocused, like he was reliving it all and had forgotten where he was. “In the beginning I started cleaning out of compulsion, to keep us safe from her punishments. Now I clean because I see her filth wherever I go. I… feel it all over.” He was speaking to the air, as though he were trying to evoke Penelope Crumb’s image in front of him. Then just as quickly he snapped out of the trance, slightly embarrassed at his loss of control.

He looked over at Casey to see tears streaming down her cheeks in sympathy. God, he really sucked at this “encouragement” thing. He tried again, giving her a sad smile, hoping to rally her. “Whatever you tell me, I’ll understand. You don’t have to get into specifics; I just need to know if it will be a problem for you to stay here.”

Releasing his hands, Casey swiped at her eyes, furious with the Crumb matriarch. “My uncle touched me too,” she began, anger fueling her ability to shine light on her inner demons. “All those scars the Beast saw, those were all from him.” She looked at Dennis’s face, trying to if see her confession made him feel any differently for her, but aside from furrowing his eyebrows and a twitch of his jaw, he held the same impassive expression he normally did.

“Did he hurt you here?” He didn’t want to open her wounds up any further, but he still needed to know.

“No. No, this place is actually full of very happy memories for me. It’s just…the photos of my father. I think that’s what set me off last night.”

Surprised, Dennis briefly glanced around the kitchen, just now realizing there were photographs hanging all over the place. “One of those men is your father?”

“Yes.” Casey got up and walked to a picture that was hanging next to the kitchen doorway, pointing out a man and a little girl laughing in the midst of a group of people. “That’s me and my dad.” She smiled, but her voice was laced with pain.

Dennis followed her over and picked the frame up off of the wall, studying it carefully. Mr. Cooke looked to be a kind enough man, if a bit mousy. He held a young Casey on his shoulders, and they both beamed at the camera, eyes bright and full of life. A life before Casey’s uncle turned her into one of the broken.

Sadness gripped Dennis, and he suddenly found himself wishing he had something to remember Kevin’s father by. For the longest time he was angry and felt abandoned by Mr. Crumb, but as he reached adulthood he came to the realization that is just wasn’t fair to hold his death against him, no matter how much suffering it had led to. He never intended to leave them alone with a monster. “Do you want me to remove these?” he asked, indicating the photograph.

“Would it make me a horrible daughter if I said ‘yes’?” Casey replied, her eyes filling with fresh tears.

“No. I think he would understand.” Dennis’s voice was gruff, like he was trying to cover up any emotion seeping into his words. For a moment he seemed smaller than usual, and he rubbed a nervous hand over his head.

Then whatever he was feeling passed, and he stood ramrod straight once again, holding both hands behind his back. “I went into town earlier this morning and withdrew some money from my personal account. It should be enough to get the majority of the items on our list. If you go take care of the shopping, I’ll have all the pictures taken down by the time you get back.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out an envelope, passing it to Casey. “I made sure to get enough to pay you back for the clothing and motel room as well. Please don’t forget to take it.”

Casey’s eyes widened. “Oh yeah, your bank account! Because of that guy you saw in Philly, right?”

Grunting, Dennis grabbed a dish towel and began wiping down the table they had been sitting at. “That’s right. I’ve had my own account open for years. I wouldn’t call it legal exactly, but then again to most of the world I don’t even exist.”

Opening the envelope, Casey couldn’t help but gasp in surprise as she pulled out nearly one thousand dollars, stacked neatly into bundles of hundreds. Dennis frowned at her. “What? I never had to pay rent while at the Zoo, and we only had one mouth to feed. Where else would all of our money be going? I mean, money that Ansel and Jade didn’t get their grubby hands on. The animals back at home probably have better money sense then they do.”

The barb made Casey giggle, and Dennis allowed himself a small smile, throwing the rag down into the sink. Dishes and laundry were the first things on his list for the afternoon.

He winced suddenly, as if someone had yelled in his ear. “No Hedwig, you may not come out and go with. The last thing we want is to draw attention to ourselves.” He paused as if listening, and then sighed. “I promise if you behave we can have pizza for dinner, alright? And if Casey says it’s ok, you can play later tonight.” Another pause. “Don’t you start now too, Jade.”

A giggle-snort escaped Casey. Dennis playing the part of belabored babysitter was always too funny. "How often do they gang up on you?"

He shook his head. "You have no idea. All the damn time! In fact, I'm not sure I’m going to survive a winter here stuck with all of you,” he chided, pinching the bridge of his nose, but there was laughter in his voice. They might be the death of him, but he figured there were worse ways to go. “Hurry up and get going. If you’re lucky there won’t be another lock on the door when you return.”

Balking, Casey stared at him, confusion and hurt playing on her face until he winked at her. Butterflies exploded in her stomach and she had to quickly turn away before he witnessed her turning the deepest shade of red possible.

Yes, it was certainly was shaping up to be an interesting winter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I write Dennis a bit more...forthcoming(?) I guess than other authors and in the back of my head I'm always a little self conscious that it looks like I'm woobifying him and that's definitely not the intent. He strikes me as someone that is initially closed off, but the moment he gets the sense someone actually gives a shit, he just falls apart. I haven't decided if it's just with women because he has mommy issues, or if he just desperately wants to connect with someone, _anyone_. Like:
> 
> Dr. Fletcher: You're not evil Dennis  
Dennis: They make fun of me doctor! I have feelings too!
> 
> Dr. Fletcher: My patients are like my family, I like you  
Dennis: Ok, let me tell you all about our secret plan I've desperately been trying to keep from you these past few days.
> 
> Nobody:  
Dennis: Well maybe we are crazy and we should just die! 
> 
> Dr. Staple: Tell me about Kevin's parents  
Dennis: I didn't want to kill all those people! :(
> 
> So obviously I'm being a bit factitious, but I think my take is near cannon enough? Idk, probably overthinking it, but I just wanted to elaborate on why I write him the way that I do.


	10. The Mender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The nature of Casey and Barry’s relationship changes and thus too does her relationship with all of the others. Brief chaos ensues

_I am still inside here_   
_A little bit comes bleeding through_   
_I wish this could have been any other way_   
_But I just don't know- I don't know what else I can do_

_Nine Inch Nails-"Every Day Is Exactly the Same"_

The trip into town was mostly uneventful. Casey did spend way too much time trying to pick out jackets for the winter, fearing Barry’s ridicule over her choices. Was it really a big deal that she didn’t know the difference between parkas and peacoats and bombers and whatever else he went on about? Where did he even find the time to learn about all this, really? She imagined it being similar to living with a roommate if she had gone on to college, provided that roommate was 175 pounds of lean muscle and chattier than an entire sorority house. He _had_ promised to show her his designs at some point, which she figured she could appreciate as a fellow artist. She made a mental note to pick him up a sketchbook and some pencils while she was out in order to surprise him.

Food, tools, cleaning supplies and a backup generator later, Casey was exhausted and _done_. She had never been a big shopper, and was starting to mourn her loss of Amazon Prime. Clearly she hadn't factored that into her decision to run away with Kevin, she thought to herself cheekily, but c'est la vie. When she called for a Lyft, the driver raised her eyebrows at the massive amount of bags she was carting around, but she just waved a $50 in her face and the other woman took her back to the cabin without further comment. It did take a few trips to fully empty the car, but with Dennis’s help she managed to finish getting everything inside before sundown. As promised, pizza was brought in for dinner, and Dennis relinquished the light to Hedwig, utterly spent from his day’s overwrought cleaning frenzy.

Lunging for the pizza box, Hedwig started stuffing his face before he even acknowledged his friend. “Hi Casey, is THIS our new house?” he finally asked through a mouthful of food.

“For now, yes. What do you think?”

He looked around in amazement at the taxidermy over the mantle and massive chandeliers hanging from the vaulted ceiling. “This is AWESOME. I bet if Kendrick Lamar had a cabin, this is what it would look like!”

“Who?”

Briefly tearing his eyes away from a stuffed mountain lion, Hedwig scrunched his nose up at her. “Never mind, etcetera. Sometimes I forget that you’re old.”

“Excuse you, I’m 19!”

“Yeah, that’s like a whole ten years older than me. Gross.”

“I’ll show you gross!” Casey stuck a finger in her mouth and bounded towards Hedwig, intent on shoving it in his ear.

Eyes widening, Hedwig dodged her attack and quickly backpedaled, trying to put distance between himself and Casey. The game quickly evolved into a round of tag, and twenty minutes later they both lay on the plush carpet in the living room, panting. Rolling over, Hedwig got another burst of energy when he realized there was a massive fireplace just a few inches from where they lay. “Are we gonna build a fire? I’ve seen ‘em in movies, but I’ve never seen a real one before!”

Casey pushed herself up onto her elbows, looking from Hedwig to the fireplace. “Really? You’ve _never_ seen a fire before?”

“Nope. Mr. Dennis always says fire isn’t a toy.”

“Fire is definitely not a toy! But it is really nice to look at, and even nicer to sit by. I’m sure when it gets colder, Dennis will build all the fires we want.” She briefly imagined herself lying by the fireside in Dennis’s arms, enjoying the warm glow together, and then just as quickly discarded the imagery. She needed to keep it together.

“Can’t we have one now?” Hedwig pleaded.

Crawling over to the fireplace, Casey opened the gate and looked up into the chimney, frowning. “I’m not even sure the flue is open, buddy.”

“What’s a flume?”

“A Flue. It’s where all the smoke from a fire would go so we don’t suffocate to death.” The idea was grisly, but she shot Hedwig a grin and he laughed.

“Miss Patricia would yell at me so much if I let us die!”

“I’m not sure any of the others would be big fans either,” Casey joked, brushing old soot off of her hands and standing up. “Wanna watch some cartoons before bed?”

Jumping up, Hedwig was about to race her to the tv, but he stilled momentarily, and she waited patiently as Dennis came into the light. It was getting to be uncanny at how well she was able to tell who was surfacing just from body language alone. “I’m sorry Casey, I got distracted all afternoon. I never got around to, uh,…” he frowned and motioned at the photos still lining the walls of the room.

“Oh.” To be honest, Casey had been having so much fun, she had forgotten all about them. “I mean, you probably don’t have to do it tonight. I….I’ll be alright.”

He crossed his arms, obviously not buying it. He opened his mouth to respond, but then his features softened into something feminine and playful. Jade slipped into the light, rolling her eyes dramatically. “That man is part Vulcan, I swear! Don't worry, I'm here to save you from Mr. Type-A.” Grabbing Casey by the wrist, she led her over to the wrap around sofa situated in front of the large screen television. “Come on, girl’s night! Can’t be having shitty dreams if you don’t sleep!”

Casey couldn’t argue with that logic. Jade insisted on watching the trashiest programs she could find, and between the inherent ridiculousness of the shows and Jade’s wry commentary, Casey spent the night laughing harder than she had in a long, long time. At some point a TMZ interview with the Avengers cast came on and the two got into a fierce debate over who was more fuckable. Jade insisted that no one could hold a candle to Chris Hemsworth, but Casey just wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "That guy is vanilla as hell. The actor who plays Bucky though? I'd hit that soooo hard."

Jade stared at her, despondent. "Um wow, the choices you are making in your life."

"Come on, he's great! And his next movie with Jessica Chastain looks incredible!"

"Yeah sure, can't wait to _not_ see it."

The early morning hours flew by, and by the time 4:00 AM hit and infomercials started plaguing the channels, Casey was having a hard time keeping her eyes open. “Thanks Jade, I needed this,” she sighed, resting her head on her friend’s shoulder.

“You got it, lady! Although next time you go food shopping, grab some snacks? Tonight would have been perfect if we had just a little more chocolate and salt.”

“I don’t know Jade, you seem plenty salty as it is.”

Jade sputtered, momentarily caught off guard by the jab, but quickly recovered.“Hey Casey? Fuck you.” It was quiet for a moment, and then the two women broke out into hysterical laughter, which only intensified as Casey lost her balance and slipped right off the couch. “Christ, and we haven’t even been drinking,” Jade howled, clutching her stomach. They didn’t stop laughing until Barry quietly slipped into the light.

He blinked a few times, looking around for Casey, and finally noticed her giggling down on the ground. “What are ya doing down there? Having fun?” he asked, face lit up mischievously.

“Heya Barry,” Casey croaked, wiping a stray tear from her eye. “Nice of you to make an appearance!”

“Looks like I missed…well, something.” He glanced around the room, curious as to what they had been up to.

“Just Jade being Jade.”

“Ah.” Barry reached down to help her up off of the ground. “And what was so funny that the two of you were out here cackling like a couple of old crones?”

“That’s the second time one of you has called me ‘old’ tonight, and I’ll have you know I am much, much younger than you, sir!” Casey stomped her foot in mock indignation.

Barry grabbed her and pinned her down onto the sofa, tickling her sides. “Oh really? Just how old do ya think I am?” Casey tried to answer but by this point he knew all of her weak spots and she couldn’t form words through her uncontrollable laughter. He briefly paused his attack to let her breathe. “Well?” he teased, fingers hovering threateningly above her ribs.

“I don’t know, like forty-eight?” she managed to choke out before he renewed the tickling with vigor. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist! Mercy!” she begged, rolling around underneath him.

Laughing at her shrieks and snorts, he finally took pity and relented, allowing her to sit up so he could collapse down on the couch beside her. She stretched out alongside him, laying her head against his chest to feel his heart pounding in time with her own heartbeat thrumming in her ears. For a few minutes they wordlessly enjoyed each other’s company, Barry gently stroking her hair.

Casey eventually broke the comfortable silence. “Twenty-five?”

“What’s that, babygirl?”

She lifted her head up to look at him, cheeks still flushed with laughter. “You’re what, around twenty-five?”

His eyes sparkled back at her with amusement. “Hey, good guess! I’m actually twenty-six, but once ya hit twenty-one it’s all downhill from there anyway, right?”

Laying her head back down, Casey scrunched up her nose. “So…how exactly do you know how old you are? Do you even age, or is it a Hedwig type of situation? I mean, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“Nah, I don’t mind,” Barry rumbled good-naturedly. “I wouldn’t say it’s exactly like Hedwig. I certainly have the faculties of an adult, and I can learn and adapt, so to speak. But just like Bernice and Mr. Pritchard are always older, and will be even if we manage to live to ninety-five, there will always be those of us that are younger than Kevin’s actual age. We could be in a nursing home and Jalin will still be twenty one, Jade will still be a teenager, and Patricia will still be a bitch.” Casey snorted, and he grinned against her scalp before suddenly sobering. “I mean, that’s what Dr. Fletcher believed, and she was a smart cookie.” Barry kept his voice light, but Casey could feel the inherent shift in his body, a diminishing of himself.

By instinct she reached down for one of his hands, lacing her fingers through it. “I’m really sorry about Dr. Fletcher, she sounds like she was an amazing woman. I wish I had gotten to meet her properly.” She sighed, more of a whimper than an exhalation. “You know… I was there when she died.”

There was a convulsion under her as Barry half laughed, half sobbed. “I was there too, hon. I was there too.”

Casey shook her head fiercely. “That’s not true, that wasn’t you! I know you would have done anything to save her. Barry, you are not responsible for what happened!”

Unfortunately her consolations fell on deaf ears. Barry began to tremble and she scrambled to get off of him, not wanting to be smothering.

“I didn’t try hard enough,” he whispered, shutting his eyes tight against the memory of Dr. Fletcher’s broken body left on the ground, as if she were a piece of trash to be picked up and discarded. “I was afraid of the Horde, of what they were capable of, but never in a million years did I think we would hurt the doctor! She was...the closest thing I’ve ever had to a real mother.” He opened his eyes again and Casey could see they were bright with unshed tears. “I honestly wish we had died instead of her.”

The confession sent chills down her spine. It wasn’t right that the alter that spent so much time attending to the well being of the others had to suffer by himself. It wasn’t right that the one person he had to lean on was ripped away, and this was one trauma that Dennis couldn’t carry in his place. She knew what it was like to lose parents, how it was to feel completely orphaned, but everything that she thought to say just died on her tongue. Nothing came close to being adequate enough, and she berated herself in frustration. His suffering was unbearable to watch and there was nothing she could do to make it better. Tears he swore that he wouldn’t cry in front of her were pouring down his face in rivulets, grief so intense he barely made a sound; he was just collapsing inside of himself, becoming his own black hole.

Without thinking, Casey pressed her lips to his, trying to get him to feel something, anything other than anguish. Shocked, he pulled back and stared at her with red rimmed eyes, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Casey wasn’t sure herself. “God I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking. That was so inappropriate, I’m really reall-“

She was cut off as he crushed her into himself with an intensity that he rarely exhibited. His mouth found hers again and she relaxed, hoping she was conveying everything that she hadn't been able to formulate with words. He reached out to cup her face, run his fingers through her hair, his touch gentle but desperation lacing his movements. Casey wasn't sure how they had managed to become so close in such a short amount of time, but as the kiss deepened she realized that it was staunching the flow of something grey and hopeless that she had long forgotten was even inside of her. Her fingers explored his jaw, trailing up his cheekbone and committing the angles of his face to memory. As he shifted under her and one of his hands slid underneath her shirt, she realized there was no fear, no apprehension roiling in her stomach. The memory of her uncle could not reach her here. 

Suddenly Barry stiffened, and a few seconds later lightly pushed her away. Casey looked down at her friend to see him staring up at her, confused. His brows furrowed, obviously wrestling with his thoughts, but his eyes were gentle.

Casey felt her face heat up. “Dennis?”

“I panicked when I felt Barry crying, so I came to take the light. I didn’t expect…I didn’t mean to…” he looked away, embarrassed and not with a little of what Casey read as... disappointment? She cringed internally. Obviously she was just a silly little girl in his eyes, but was kissing her really that appalling? She didn't get to ask though because there was a shudder and a grimace passed over his face. The iron in his irises gave way to watery azure.

“I…Kevin? Oh god,” she got up off of him immediately, face on fire and humiliated._ Shit._ This was it, she fucked up. Dennis had literally disappeared to get away from her. HE needed KEVIN to protect HIM. It was mortifying. 

To his credit, Kevin stayed calm despite the fact that something seemed wrong. “Casey, did something happen? The others are all in an uproar right now. Patricia is yelling at Barry and Dennis, and Hedwig is telling everyone to get “their own” girlfriend? What is going on?”

There were about ten million things she wanted to say, but none of them were “Sorry I kissed another person inhabiting your body while you were unconscious.” For some reason she felt like she was just caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to do. Barry was his own person, yes, but what if Kevin didn’t want to be touched like that? What if…?

"Hello? I'm starting to get a little concerned. Did...did I do something to hurt you?" 

"No!" Her protest was so violent and sudden that he jumped a little. "I'm sorry...no. I just got a little carried away and kissed...Barry."

He scratched his forehead, confused. "That's it?"

"I...I think so."

“Ah, Jesus." Color rose in his cheeks and he looked just as awkward as she felt. "We’re not really used to, well...that. I know some of the more sociable alters got around sometimes, but up until this point we’ve been so focused on just functioning that relationships haven’t really been in the cards." He sighed. It was just one more life experience that was never meant for him.

Then a thought occurred: “How old are you?” He looked at her, _really looked at her_, like he was actually seeing her as a woman (or not) for the first time.

She hesitated. Was he going to judge her? “Nineteen, which I realize is technically on the younger side," she protested, holding up her hands. "But I haven’t been allowed to act my age in a long, long time. It was my idea, not his.”

Kevin sat quietly for a while pondering this new information, and Casey was beginning to wonder if he had vacated the light and no one had taken his place, if that was even possible. She watched him run a hand through hair that had only just started to grow in and then he graced her with a pensive smile. “So was this just a one time thing or...?"

Casey didn't know how her evening had spiraled out of control so fast and was starting to regret not just going straight to bed. "I don't know. I guess that's up to Barry, or you. It was something that just kind of happened, I wasn't planning on throwing everything into chaos."

"Oh don't worry about that, our natural state is chaotic. We're like the world's worst Dungeons and Dragons class." The blank look on Casey's face told him he lost her with the comparison. He tried again. "Barry is some of the best parts of me rolled up into one person. If you want to be with him, or even one of the others, who am I to stop you? Makes me feel a little normal, actually,” he laughed, but those eyes were still so sad, and they turned on her with sudden earnestness. “You know if something goes wrong, I wouldn't blame you for leaving."

What on earth possessed him to say something as cynical as that? “Sure, but you just said that Barry-”

“It’s not Barry I’m worried about, he’ll take care of you.”

Who else could he have been concerned about? “Well then you should know that Dennis has-"

He cut her off again. “I’m not worried about Dennis, either. And before you start naming all of the other alters, it’s not them I'm concerned about, exactly. It’s just that relationships are new territory for us, and the latest addition to our little circus is a cannibalistic superhuman. And god Casey, what if he's not the only one? What if I've got some other kind of monster living inside of me that I have no idea about? I want you to have a way out...if anything weird happens...again."

Casey wasn’t sure that made her feel much better, but by this point Kevin was so weak he was practically leaning against her to keep himself upright and she doubted she’d have much longer with him.

"If I helped you up to bed, do you think you could spend a little bit more time with me?" She needed to see Barry again, to figure out where their relationship went from this point on. She wanted to see Dennis to apologize, but she wasn't sure if she'd get the opportunity anytime soon. Right now though what she wanted most of all was the steadying and deliberate presence of Kevin to help her collect her thoughts and make sense of the world again.

He was about to decline. It was now to the point where it physically made his body ache for him to hold the light, but as he considered it he realized the pain wasn't nearly as bad as it had been in the past. Was he truly healing, even just a little bit? He leaned further into Casey, seizing strength from this girl half his size.

"I will for you," he whispered into her ear, sending a cascade of goosebumps down her neck. "I'll try anything so long as you're here with me." Kevin didn't make vows, didn't know if he'd ever be around to see them through.

He meant this one.


	11. The Other Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TFW your new boy toy shares the same body as his religious fundie sister. We've all been there, amirite?

The wind was so cold that Patricia could feel the icy particles in the air burrow under her skin, bypassing the paltry protection her shawl offered. She knew she was dreaming, not because the sky was bleeding (although it was) and not because she stood in a desolate wasteland, but because she possessed a mindfulness about these sorts of things, she always had. The others called her “Priestess” under their breath with scorn, but she choose to wear the title with pride. After all, it was apt.

She looked around at her surroundings.The dreamscape sun hung above her, its normal white and yellow rays now a sickly green casting a pall over the parched land. Bones littered the field before her, some bleached dry, others still with pieces of flesh flaking off. Occasionally she heard the deep rumble of what sounded like laughter, and she couldn’t be sure, but at one point she thought she had seen wet black lips and an eye glaring down at her from the surface of the sun. She shuddered-she was not alone here.

And where was "here"? Was this hell? Nightmares were usually the purview of Dennis or Kevin, and nothing about this dream seemed remotely familiar. Before her lay nothing but devastation, nothing but ruin as far as one could see, and there was no sense of direction, no landmark to guide her. However, there must have been a reason she was brought to this place, a purpose to the dread. So she began to walk.

Before long, groaning started to rise up from the horizon. While it instilled a sense of terror in her, she felt compelled to run towards the cause, not away. She flew towards her target as one only can in a dream, and soon she came upon the source: a broken creature that looked to have been human at one point. It heard her approach and attempted to right itself from the ground, but its spindly arms both snapped at the elbow and it collapsed back down to the rocky earth. In tremendous pain, it turned its head to her and she gasped. It was Kevin's face that stared back at her, or at the very least a mockery of Kevin’s. The lips were too grey and the mouth too red, and his skin was shiny like he was covered in a fine film of something putrid, if the smell were any indication. Still, there was no way this was anyone other than her own maker.

Acting against her own sense of self-preservation, Patricia knelt down on the ground and helped him up into a sitting position, various sores on his body bursting open from her touch. His ribs were poking through translucent skin, she could count each and every one easily. It was then that she understood why she was there. They _were _dying. Starving. Her instincts had been correct- the Beast was wasting away, and that meant the death of them all.

The sun laughed at her.

She awoke with a start, heart pounding in her chest. That taunting laugh rang out again and she prayed it was just a hypnogogic tremor and not her going mad. If she was losing her wits then there truly was no hope, no one else had the will to see them through this ordeal. Despite it being chilly outside, she found herself uncomfortably hot, sweating from the night terror, and threw her bed covers off in one fluid motion. She froze. Casey was sleeping peacefully next to her, and for a moment Patricia was at a loss. Then the argument from the night before came rushing back.

_“Has everyone else gone completely mad?” Patricia was doing her very best not to yell, but for goodness sake, sometimes her boys made that so very hard. “We’re canoodling with the girl now, is that it?”_

_Dennis looked nervously from Barry to Patricia. He really didn’t want to get involved as his own thoughts on the matter were all fucked up, but it was clear that they wanted him to pick a side. “Patricia, look-“_

_“Honestly Dennis, I thought that out of everyone I’d have to be having this talk with you, not Barry. But no, even you have more common sense. Fancy that.”_

_Dennis bristled. “What’s that supposed to mean?”_

_The woman glared at him, staring down her nose in fury. “You know very well what I meant. If you can show some self-control, surely Barry can.”_

_“Hey! Don’t talk about me like I’m not here!” Barry spat, spite lacing every word. “I know you’ve got some weird kink for trying to control us, but you are way out of bounds! Just ‘cause ya wanna live life out of a convent doesn’t mean the rest of us have to!”_

_Patricia’s face actually softened with something like pity. “I’m not trying to deprive you; I want to keep you from getting hurt! And even worse, Kevin could be hurt! You’re not thinking clearly dove, please. When she leaves you, what will Kevin do? Can he really stand to be rejected by another woman in his life?”_

_Snorting, Barry threw his hands up in disgust. “Really? REALLY? You think a break up could hurt Kevin more than, I don’t know, killing and eating people?” The nerve of this woman, he could hardly stand her. “You are the last person in the WORLD that gets to talk about hurting Kevin.”_

_The soft pity in Patricia’s eyes turned to white hot iron. “The Beast has done much for us, you gormless prat. Your lack of gratitude is astounding.”_

_“And YOU are fucking crazy, you know that? Stay out of my business, Patricia, or I swear you’ll never hold the light again!” Barry growled, his one and only warning before walking away._

_The threat pierced Dennis. Being banned from the light was a punishment that bordered on malevolent, in his experienced opinion. What was worse than not being able to express your very existence? It was an empty threat without recruiting Hedwig’s help, but Dennis still found it uncharacteristically cruel of Barry._

_Patricia whirled on him. “And you approve of this why?”_

_Dennis shrugged. “I didn’t say I approved. I also don’t…disapprove either. Casey might be good for us.”_

_Patricia raised an eyebrow._

_“Barry! Kevin, I mean.” Dennis nervously licked his lips and ran a hand over his scalp, clearly agitated. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m bein’ good. I… understand my place.”_

_He said it with so much regret that Patricia instantly doubted his conviction, but chose to keep her concerns to herself. “It’s because suffering has made you wise. You clearly understand our sacred purpose in life is to protect Kevin. On this we both agree, even if our methods differ. Perhaps Barry will have to learn the hard way.”_

_Years worth of longing and grief filled Dennis. “Barry was made for this. If anyone has a chance of having a normal relationship, it would be him. We’ve already turned him into an exile, don’t try and take what little happiness he might find out here.”_

_Patricia gave up, her admonition and pleadings were going nowhere. It was foolish to waste breath on a lost cause. “Fine, have it your way. However Barry, and subsequently Kevin, WILL see their hearts broken, you understand that?”_

_Studying the jagged pattern of scars on his forearm, Dennis sighed. “Maybe. But then we pick up the pieces and move on. We always do.”_

That had been the end of that. Not as far as Patricia was concerned of course, but it was clear that she was outvoted. Barry was given free rein to destroy Kevin’s heart in the one way his mother never could.

Then again…

Perhaps she could turn this in their favor. Despite Dennis’s protests otherwise, clearly he was taken with the girl, and for Barry it went without saying. Even if they didn’t listen to Casey’s warnings the first time, they surely would by the time their collective body started to fail. And their hooks would be so deep in her that she would come around and see things Patricia’s way. She would help them find more sacred food, she had to. If not out of duty to god, then out of love for Kevin. Perhaps she might even become a proper disciple after all. But it wouldn’t do for Patricia to get ahead of herself, first things first.

Casey still hadn’t stirred from sleep, and Patricia gave her a once over. They were both clothed, so apparently Barry hadn’t turned into a total Neanderthal the night before. She watched her sleep for a few moments, trying to decide if this fragile creature in front of her was indeed her cub, or her rival. Personal feelings aside, she knew that to win her over she had to appeal to her desire for intimacy with the System, so that was the role she had to play. So be it.

Moving over to the burgundy curtains hanging across from the bed, she threw them open, golden sunlight streaming through the windowpane and stirring Casey. Stretching, she turned expecting to see Barry, but froze when she realized who it was that stood before her.

“Good morning, little lamb. I trust Barry didn’t keep you up all night?”

Casey blushed furiously. Kevin had mentioned Patricia arguing with the others, and she couldn't imagine what the matriarch would have had to say, but it probably wasn't good. “No, he didn’t. I was with Kevin right before bed.” She didn't feel the need to elaborate further, and Patricia didn't ask.

Instead she perched herself on the edge of the bed and reached out to pat Casey's hands gently. “You do seem to bring out the best in my boys. I can’t lie, at first I was not happy to hear that Barry was making passes at you, but perhaps I was hasty in my judgement.”

Casey picked at a thread unraveling from the comforter underneath them, feeling uncomfortable. “Please don’t be angry with him, what happened last night was my fault.”

Pulling her hand back with some distaste, Patricia sighed and studied her nails. “It doesn’t matter. I should have known as soon as you insisted on following us that you would end up sharing our bed. That is how every good pack or pride operates, isn’t it? We live as one, sleep as one…hunt as one.”

Casey’s ears pricked at the bizarre choice of words, but tried to convince herself that Patricia was just being her usual inexplicable self. “Don’t you think that’s reading a lot into one kiss?”

The Priestess's face darkened with anger, and Casey shrank back onto the bed instinctively. “If you have no intention of carrying on with a relationship, I suggest you tell Barry. I _will_ brook no games from you. Despite what you may think of me, I do love my boys and girls dearly and will protect them no matter what the cost. If you proceed with courting him, I will not stand in your way. But you need to choose one way or the other.”

Wordlessly Casey nodded, not trusting her voice. She waited for the other woman to leave, having said her piece, but Patrica remained there on the bed with her, clearly anxious about something else. So she cleared her throat, found her voice. "Is something else wrong?"

Patricia didn't speak right away, unsure how to go about broaching the subject. "I had a dream this morning, and it's left me feeling quite disturbed."

"A nightmare?"

"An omen. I'm not going to mince words. It was a sign from the Beast, and I fear we are running out of time. If Dennis won't listen to our warnings, then we need to convince Barry."

Casey laughed, she couldn't help it. "I think I could probably tell you what Barry will say and I don't think you'd like it."

There was a beat of silence, and it was obvious Patrica was struggling for the right words. "Countless sacred books are filled with tales of people ignoring the warnings of their prophets to their own determent. I do not wish to see the same fate befall us."

"Those are just stories!"

"And the Beast was just a fairy tale, until he wasn't. Didn't Mr. Glass have the right of it when he said that superhumans were the basis of all old legends? Vampires, werewolves, wendigos-all fearsome creatures that required sacrifice from lesser beings to continue maintaining their existence." 

"Lesser beings...you mean non-superhumans. Like me."

"Oh my dear, don't you realize even now that your pain has purified you in His eyes? Don't speak of yourself so poorly, it's heresy."

"Ok, then the "Unpure", or whatever!" Casey threw up her hands. "I don't understand, why don't you just talk to him? I can't play emissary forever."

Patricia laughed, surprisingly not an unpleasant sound; in fact, it would have been downright musical had it not been coming from her. "Do you really think he'd listen to me?"

"Well Dennis didn't listen to me, what makes you think Barry will be any different?"

"You really have no idea?" asked Patricia, staring at her like she had just said something incredibly stupid. "Every word you speak is holy to those men. Dennis may have dismissed you, but that was for your benefit, not his. He desires to shield you from any and all problems. But this is not an issue that can be beaten into submission or ignored, and our Barry is too urbane to think otherwise. Please, speak with him, I think he may surprise you."

"Sure, I'll tell him that he's a vampire now, it's gonna go over real well."

Rolling her eyes, Patricia got up off the bed. "Well when you put it like _that_, it just sounds like rubbish. Now then, shall I make you some lunch? I fear we have overslept the breakfast hours."

"I...I'm not really all that hungry," Casey gave Patricia a weak smile, hoping she'd read the lack of appetite as just concern and not a desperate need to get away from her. "Can I see Barry?"

"Of course. May our Savior grant you the words needed to soften his heart."

Unless those words were "Hey Barry, the Beast just ate Patricia", Casey didn't see that happening anytime soon.

Fuck a duck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've edited this like 10 million times and I'm just done, so apologies if I missed something obvious. Had to break this chapter up since I seem to have the tendency to go on super long, so the next part might be up sooner than usual.  
Also(!!!), turning Patricia into a crazy church lady is stupid fun. I think we all have a Patricia in our lives, sans the cannibalism (maybe) so it is oddly therapeutic. 10/10-definitely recommend.


	12. The Worm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much for getting this out faster than usual. Tbh I was hesitant to write the second part of this chapter because I've had a type of OCD called "scrupulosity" since I was a little girl, and was concerned I would freak myself out into a flare up. Many years of struggle and medication later I've blessedly been able to find some relief, however I think it's a big part of why I'm so attached to Dennis as a character and I really, really wanted to try and do him some justice with regard to it. Obviously OCD presents in different ways and if Dennis had scrupulosity he probably never would have joined the Horde, but it's easy to imagine how his guilt was torturing him in Glass, and for someone with OCD, no matter what form, it would be extra hellish.
> 
> **TW for lots of OCD in this chapter. If you might find that upsetting, hop away! Please be aware and be well! ❤**

The shift between the alters was always mesmerizing- how a particular personality’s energy could carve it’s shape onto Kevin’s body was almost otherworldly. Casey hoped she wasn’t making light of his condition when she had once suggested to Jade that Kevin could have made a fine actor, but the other woman just playfully pushed Casey and laughed, nodding in agreement. 

As she watched Patricia morph into Barry, she became aware that this strangely wasn’t one of the more severe transformations. While Patricia’s movements were much more controlled than Barry’s easygoing nature allowed, they both carried a self assurance that was hard to match. They both prided themselves on physical appearance and covered the hard lines of their body with unique layers of clothing. Never out of shame though, no, just in an effort to project their individuality out into the world. Yes, they were one of twenty four, but they were uniquely themselves; they could never be mistaken for someone else.

Barry emerged, languidly rolling his shoulders back in a stretch. “Hey doll,” he grinned, kissing the tip of her nose. “Did ya miss me?”

Casey pretended to have to think about it until he started poking her sides and she relented, squirming out of his grip with a smile.“I did miss you! Are you feeling any better?”

The light in his eyes cooled, if only briefly.“I’m sorry for unloading on you like that. None of it was your problem; that wasn’t very fair of me.”

She was about to brush his concerns off with a “that’s what friends are for”, but “friends” didn’t seem like an accurate descriptor anymore. He seemed to understand and gave her what must have been his version of a bashful smile, biting his lower lip. “Not gonna lie, ya kinda took me by surprise when you kissed me. Was there something to it, or were you just trying to make me feel better?"

Honestly, she didn't know how to answer that. Could it be both? “I can’t claim I was _planning_ on kissing you but I’m glad I did. You're a good friend and I wanted to return the favor. Also, I'm not sure if anyone's ever told you this before, but you're pretty cute."

He gave her a sly grin and Casey realized the mistake she had just made; he was never going to let her hear the end of it. "Oh? Tell me more about how good looking I am, I find it super fascinating!"

She laughed. “How about you just shut up and kiss me again before I change my mind?” 

"Oh come on, one more compliment? Everyone always just goes on and on about what an amazing body I have, but really I think they're overlooking my charming smile and gorgeous baby blues to their own detriment." 

"Do they? Do people actually say that? Are you sure what they're really saying isn't 'You're lucky you have an amazing body to offset your inflated head'?"

Casey screeched as he reached for a pillow and swung it at her, dodging so fast she nearly fell off of the bed. He went to grab another and she lifted up her hands in surrender. "TRUCE! Truce!"

Lowering the pillow, Barry smirked, amusement playing on his lips. "Gonna take that back?"

"No way! The truth hurts." She moved closer to him and Barry reached out for her, pulling her close. Their lips met and Casey allowed him to lay her back on the mattress, enjoying this intimacy that was giving and non-demanding. Even as his mouth trailed further down her jawline and neck, kissing and nipping at every sensitive spot he discovered, she felt at ease. His frame seemed so much larger when it was hovering over hers, but there was no sense of panic, no fear that she would be pushed somewhere she didn’t want to go. He was everything warm and good, and Casey marveled how someone so strong could be so soft.

They spent the next half hour like this, just reveling in exploring each other- the way Barry would squirm when she nibbled his earlobes, her gasps as his fingertips gently tickled the delicate skin on the back of her neck and collarbone as he sucked lightly at her throat. She basked in the gratification of his touch for as long as possible, but Patricia's words weighed heavy. She eventually broke their embrace and gave Barry the best doe eyes she could muster. "Can we talk?"

With a contented sigh he lay back down next to her, relaxing against his pillow. "I was enjoying myself, but for you baby doll, anything."

The skin on her neck was still tingling from where his lips had been and she unconsciously reached to touch the spot, as if she could brand the feeling into her nerves forever. "We've got all winter cooped up in here, I promise not to leave you deprived."

He gave a breathy chuckle that made her stomach clench. "You shouldn't make promises you can't keep. For all you know, I’m completely insatiable."

For a second Casey debated taking the time to educate herself in the matter, but her head was filled with so much grotesque imagery of him wasting away that she didn't think she could keep it to herself any longer. "I talked to Patricia."

Eyes flashing, Barry sat up and cursed. "I told that witch to leave us alone. I swear to god, Casey-"

"It wasn't about us. Not directly, at least."

He made a face like he didn't believe her, but held back any smart remarks he was thinking.

“Did Dennis speak with you at all about Patricia? About some concerns she was having?”

“Unless those concerns involve her fucking off forever, then no, we haven’t discussed Patricia at all." Crossing his arms, Barry looked away. He wasn't sure why they had to talk about _Patricia _of all people, and made a mental note to figure out a way to get back at her for ruining his perfectly lovely morning.

Watching him now, Casey wasn't sure why Patricia had put so much faith in Barry, he obviously hated the woman."Look, she keeps telling me that the Beast has to feed, or he’ll starve. And if he dies…”

Barry was not impressed. “If he dies, then what? We have a party?”

This didn’t work the last time with Dennis either, so she tried a different angle. NOT that she really believed Patricia, but, just in case…“Have you felt any different lately?”

Puzzled by the sudden change in topic, Barry quirked an eyebrow. “That’s pretty vague, babygirl. Could you be a little more specific?”

“Have you felt like anything was off physically?”

Puffing out his chest a bit, he grinned. “I dunno, you tell me. Have I not been vigorous enough for ya?” He moved to kiss her again, but she held a hand up to his chest, stopping him.

“I’m serious.”

A shadow briefly crossed his face, drawing the corners of his mouth down in something like concern.“What does this have to do with anything? I’m fine doll, I promise. Maybe a little more tired than usual, but we have been keeping weird hours.”

Casey considered this, and then sighed. “If you start feeling unwell, will you let me know? Apparently your health is tied up with the Beast’s, and he's not exactly thriving on a pizza and chicken noodle soup diet." She felt like a dolt, pleading for the life of that terrifying creature, and it showed. But she wasn't really worried about him, was she? No, the object of her concern was sitting there with a look of bewilderment on his face.

Wrapping his arms around her, he rolled over onto his back so that she was now lying on top of him. “Patricia is full of it, but if it makes you feel better I _promise_ I will be vigilant about our health, ok? Now don’t think about it a second longer.”

That seemed fair, and frankly Casey had other things she would much rather be doing at the moment. “If I agree, can we get back to where we were before I started this conversation?”

A wicked gleam flashed in Barry’s eyes. “I thought you’d never ask. In fact, I think I had _just_ found a spot on your neck that was making your toes curl…”

Casey didn’t think about Patrica or the Beast again for the rest of the afternoon.

* * *

“Hey Mr. Dennis, check out my new move!” 

Without warning there was a small arm closing in around Dennis’s neck, startling the man. He was already feeling jumpy and was completely unprepared for this unprovoked “attack”, nearly falling out of his chair. Tamping down on his annoyance, he deftly reached behind his shoulder and pulled the giggling Hedwig down onto his lap. “I don’t have time for this now, Hedwig,” he grumbled, setting the boy on the ground.

The hurt on Hedwig’s face smarted a little, but Dennis knew he was currently in no shape to be a good playmate. He generally wasn’t the most playful alter, but he was certainly the largest, and Hedwig loved wrestling with him, always with the hope that someday he would eventually take the bigger man down. Dennis usually had the patience to let the boy wear himself out on grapples and holds until Hedwig exhausted himself and plodded back to his chair to fall asleep, much to the relief of everyone else (when Hedwig was playing, no one was safe). But right now Barry was with Casey and that was all Dennis could think about. And Dennis being Dennis, it wasn’t thinking as much as it was driving his thoughts into the ground.

The funny thing about obsessive compulsive disorder, or any disorder, really- is that people always want to focus on the behavior and not the fear. They _think_ they see the fear-bleeding hands with cracked skin being lowered under the faucet, running over a bump in your car in the middle of the night and having to turn around and make sure there’s no body bleeding out on the road.

But the fear isn't in the rituals, it's in the Accuser that always sits in the background, watching and judging and predicting how you and you alone will bring about the birth of pain into the world. The fear is in fact that you will always be a captive audience to the Shaitan, the adversary that nests inside you. The giant fucking worm that makes its home in the nerves of the brain, burrowing back and forth, expanding and moving those neural pathways onto roads they never were meant to travel. They swell up and your brain turns hot and feverish as if it could expel the worry as it does a virus. But it’s no use. It never goes anywhere but around and around. Say all the prayers you want, wash, keep cleaning and checking-those thoughts aren’t going because there is nowhere for them to go. They were born with you, and they die with you.

As Barry and Casey communed with each other on the cool bed sheets above, the worm was on the move, telling Dennis how utterly despicable he was. _Don’t even think about being in Barry’s place. You can’t be trusted. You’re a fucking monster._

"But I don’t want to be."

_But you are_-the worm whispered. _Otherwise, you wouldn’t be afraid. Only the guilty have something to fear._

It was right. Where did these foul ideas come from if not himself? How many people suffered and died because of him? He never should have listened to Patricia, and now he was damned forever. All he knew was hurt and ruin. If he didn't have Kevin to worry about, it would be infinitely better for him to just kill himself.

Despite his repentance, the worm would not leave him alone. "_Good_ _people don’t worry about causing pain. If you weren’t a monster, you’d never have those thoughts to begin with. Do you think Barry worries about hurting Casey?_

"I don’t _want_ to think about it."

The worm laughed- _So stop._

"But I can’t. You know I can’t."

_Well then_…

The guilt, the self accusations, the denial, around and around and around it went....

Once Hedwig had come up to the light alongside Dennis while he was cleaning the kitchen and asked him to explain what “Osee-dee” was. Dennis had balked. They say that speaking of the devil makes him appear, and triggering a violent episode was not on that day's list of things to do. Hedwig was nothing if not persistent, though.

“Why do you clean so much, Mr. Dennis?”

“I don’t want you gettin’ sick.”

“But the counter’s not dirty anymore.”

“Maybe not. But it could be, and we just can’t see it.”

Frowning, Hedwig looked from the counter to Dennis, wondering why he was worried about something he couldn't see. “Miss Nora says you got 'Osee-dee' ‘cause of what Kevin’s mom did to you, ‘bless his poor heart’.” He planted a hand over his heart like the woman always did, mimicking her southern lilt perfectly. “Mr. Jalin says it’s ‘cause you’re a spastic. What does that mean?”

Dennis squeezed the rag he was holding, nails digging into his palms. “It means Jalin better watch his mouth before he says something smart to someone that will make him swallow his own teeth.”

Eyes widening, Hedwig laughed at the display of machismo. “Is Jalin spastic?”

“Don’t say that word Hedwig, it’s not nice. The things you say and do to other people show your character.”

The admonition sobered Hedwig quickly, and Dennis felt a twinge of pride, smiling slightly. Sometimes he thought he really _was_ being a good influence.

“Well can I say he’s a ‘fecking lickarse blatitherskite’, et cetera? That’s what Ian is always yelling when Jalin has the light.”

Dennis’s smile disappeared and he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Just don’t call anybody any names, ok? You’re a good kid Hedwig, that’s beneath you.”

“Hey thanks Mr. Dennis! You’re a good um… person too.”

The room suddenly seemed stifling and Dennis could feel his anxiety flare up, promising another night of fretting over how little “good” was actually in him. He stiffened. "DON'T call me that, Hedwig. Don't ever say that again."

Realizing that something was wrong, Hedwig started backing nervously from the light, wondering why his compliment had gone over so poorly. “Mr. Dennis?” he inquired, voice barely above a whisper. “You feel scared. Should I be scared?”

“No Hedwig,” Fear was licking the inside of Dennis's skull, but he tried to control the shaking in his voice. “You have nothing to be afraid of. I'm _not_ good, and I have to always remember that. It's important, because if I forget what I am I might let my guard down and be like Kevin's mom. You understand?"

Hedwig definitely did not understand. “But you’re not Kevin’s mom!”

Dennis glared at the marred reflection of himself on the clean counter top, distorted by the imperfections in the quartz.

Maybe not.

But he could be.


	13. Tigerheart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey finds out that candy and horror movies don't make good babysitters. Dennis is restless and gets into trouble.

The day had started off well enough. They were all in agreement that Kevin leaving the cabin should probably be avoided unless absolutely necessary, but Hedwig was insistent on having a Halloween costume, so Casey had spent the better part of an afternoon in stores searching for something suitable. The reality was that adult men rarely wanted to dress up as zoo animals (which Hedwig was hellbent on) so she was coming up empty handed aside from some masks. When it dawned on her that she just happened to have a boyfriend that was handy around a needle and thread, she wanted to hit herself. She’d just buy a sewing machine and Barry could make whatever it was Hedwig decided on, it was perfect! She was happy, Hedwig would be happy, Barry would love her for the distraction. Win-win-win.

She went over the items in her cart one more time before leaving _Target_-besides the aforementioned products there was also a radio scanner for Dennis, some magazines for Nora, and 25 pound bag of fertilizer for Luke, for some reason. She didn't pry, just did as she was asked. There was also what she hoped was a generous amount of Halloween candy. While not having the biggest sweet tooth in the world, there was little doubt it could disappear fast with so many personalities running around and Casey was uninterested in having to make multiple trips to the store just for some Reese Cups.

After getting back to the cabin, she filled Hedwig in on her idea and then left him alone with the candy in order to put the rest of her purchases away. This was mistake number one. Mistake number two came later when she passed off the television remote to him and wondered off to the kitchen to find dinner.

None of these things were readily apparent as mistakes until the sun began to set and the “super cool” cenobites on AMC were suddenly terrifying to a certain nine year old. Casey was reading peacefully in the living room when Hedwig came barreling in, and she watched in horror as he launched himself in her direction. Nearly crushing her beneath his bulk, Hedwig tried to simultaneously climb into her lap and also _through_ her, if his frantic flailing was any indication.

“Hedwig, you gotta settle down or one of us is going to get hurt!” Casey attempted to wrap her arms around him, but he was too strong and she only succeed in getting herself caught between his body and the arm of the sofa.

“I don’t want my soul torn apart! I don’t want anything torn apart!” Hedwig yelled, shoving her face further into the furniture as he clambered over her.

"It's just a movie, cenobites aren't real!"

"I saw one outside!"

_Oh for god's sake. _"Hedwig, I have something super important I need to ask you!"

This seemed to settle him a bit, but he still looked frantically about the room as though expecting one of the shadows to come alive.

“Tell me about the masks," Casey implored, as if it were the most interesting topic in the world. "Which animal do you want to be?”

It was a hail Mary, but it worked. Pleased to be asked his opinion on anything, Hedwig began listing the pros and cons of each animal he was considering before finally announcing that he had decided on being a snake.

The left side of her face was going to be bruised tomorrow, but Casey couldn't complain, she was just pleased there was no longer any danger of death by suffocation. She had to keep his mind on fuzzy things, not BDSM monsters. “Oh nice, I like snakes too! I thought tigers were your favorite animals though?”

“Duh. But the tiger mask is for Mr. Dennis.”

A sullen Dennis in a plastic tiger mask was suddenly the only thing Casey needed in life, up until that point she wasn't aware of any plans he had for trick or treating. “How can you and Dennis wear a mask at the same time?”

“Not for trick ‘er treating silly, it’s for when he goes to fight the bad guys!”

“He said he’s wearing a mask? Really?" There was no way that could be true. "Are we talking about the same Dennis?”

Casey’s incredulity didn’t register for the young boy. “Yeah. He says I can’t fight ‘cause I’m too young, et cetera, but I can pick out his costume!”

A mischievous idea was suddenly born and Casey smiled shrewdly. “He’s probably going to need you to pick out a super hero name too.”

“I thought he was ‘The Beast’?”

“The Beast scares people. He needs a hero name, like ‘Tiger-Man’.”

“Boring!”

“Mr. Stripes?”

Hedwig made a face like _he_ was the belabored adult in the relationship. “You’re really weird for a girl. Also, Mr. Dennis says he wants to talk to you, he sounds kinda mad.”

Uh-oh. “Wait, Hedwig!!”

Too late, he had passed the light on to a frustrated Dennis. “Would you stop giving the boy ideas? You know 'Mr. Stripes' will become a thing if he finds out that it annoys me.”

“I had to calm him down somehow.”

He crossed his arms.“Whose fault is that? I told you he wasn't supposed to have a lot of candy or watch scary movies!”

“Yeah, ok dad.”

Dennis grumbled something under his breath that she didn’t quite catch, and then retrieved his glasses. “I think I’m gonna go take a look at the police scanner, see if I can find anything interesting. I gotta do something productive soon or I'll lose my damn mind.”

Shrugging, Casey got up from the sofa. "Well I'm going to bed early, wrangling Hedwig is exhausting. Good luck with your... thing.” She casually pecked him on the cheek as if that were something they did every night and headed upstairs before he could see her cheeks burning. He blinked after her for a few seconds before deciding he shouldn't overthink it and got up to head for the kitchen.

The tiger mask caught his attention on the way out and he picked it up, smiling a bit ruefully. He was never a fan of the big cats the way most people seemed to be, he found them entirely too needy for creatures that were supposed to be aloof. Once Patricia had disdainfully informed him that he didn’t like cats _because_ he was a cat in a man's body, and that made a weird kind of sense. Bending it back and forth, he debated if it would actually work to conceal him, at least for tonight. It wasn’t sturdy by any means, but that was fine, it could serve the purpose. At worst he would feel ridiculous, but the idea of a real life superhero was ridiculous to begin with so….carpe diem. It meant something to Hedwig, so it was important to him. 

Casey had left the radio scanner on the kitchen table, which he carefully began to unpack. His stomach felt a bit queasy, and he told himself it was from all of the sugar Hedwig consumed earlier in the day rather than nerves. His thoughts would not let him rest, he needed to get out of his head and actually _do_ something. If that something involved pummeling the shit out of some lowlifes, even better. And so he set the scanner up and troweled the stations, waiting for a cry for help, for a sign, for anything that seemed even minutely important. The droning on of numbers stations, mundane cop talk, and dead air was all he could find, with the occasional loud squeal of static. After a few hours of this, he came to realize that police work was stupid boring, and took to rewashing some dishes while he waited for something more severe than a drunk and disorderly complaint to come across the air waves.

Another hour of nothing passed. It occurred to him that he was probably in one of the safest areas in the state and could be waiting forever. Irritated and restless, Dennis grabbed the tiger mask and then quietly stalked upstairs to the room he had claimed for himself, locking the door behind him. He began undressing, meticulously folding his button up shirt, jacket, and pants before placing them in the hamper. The habit always drove the other alters crazy-why fold something that was going to be washed anyway? Dennis had no good answer, just settled for staring at them impassively until they got bored and left him alone.

Now completely undressed, he stood in front of the mirror and examined his physique with a critical eye. Losing access to a gym and weights was not the end of the world, his own body worked as fine as any gym equipment and his results could attest to that. In fact, he was probably leaner and stronger than he had been in quite a while, although he imagined living off of non-processed foods would do that to anyone.

He was as ready as he'd every be. He closed his eyes and turned his attention inward, looking for he that was both his damnation and salvation. _Beast, come and roam with me!_ Dennis invoked the darkness, and within seconds he felt the telltale signs that the otherworldly alter was emerging. Adrenaline began coursing through his nervous system and his muscles cried in torment as they were stretched beyond anything they should be. The pain never lasted long though, the pride the Beast brought along was its own taste of ecstasy, the vainglory of a god filling their veins.

Tonight, god was furious.

_You call to me as if I were a dog_, the Beast raged, and Dennis could feel wrath blistering up inside of them.

“You're no dog, dogs can be trained to be off-leash. You? You’re never leaving my control.”

Dennis expected more anger, but surprisingly the Beast just chuckled. _Child_, he purred (Dennis flinched at the calm familiarity of his tone-it was the same voice Kevin’s mother had used before doing the worst of the worst to him). _You were the strongest of my Horde, my Scion into this world. You have sinned against me gravely, but I will forgive, I will! I’ve given you strength and guidance; I’ve delivered our pure one from her shame, what more can I give? What did I do to cause you to lose faith?_

Anytime the Beast mentioned Casey, Dennis just wanted to straight up murder him. “Fuck you. You took a big bite out of our “pure one”, you sanctimonious asshole!” 

The Beast moved to smash the mirror in a tantrum, but Dennis was ready and threw him out of the light as easily as he might throw a child. “I see you’ve already forgotten the reality of your situation,” he mumbled. “I _would_ like your help, but I’ll atone for myself with or without you.” He began dressing in simple olive khakis and gloves, waiting for any sign that the Beast had made a choice. Yes, his job would be infinitely harder without “powers”, but he supposed trying to make redress easier could be considered cheating anyway.

Opening his bedroom window, brisk fall air rushed past him, invigorating his senses. The Beast savored this taste of freedom and swelled beneath the light. _I submit. I wish to run these woods with you._

Stepping aside, Dennis made room for the Beast to come alongside, to fully connect, and he felt a trill of pleasure as the demigod adjusted to having vision once again. Dennis strapped the tiger mask on and glanced at his reflection. It wouldn't do in the daylight, or around a lot of people, but in the dark it concealed enough. Hedwig would be elated.

Together, they easily snaked through the open bedroom window and up the rooftop, careful to move softly so as not to disturb Casey. Dennis briefly grew concerned at the thought of leaving her by herself, but deep down knew he didn’t have anything to worry about, she had proven that time and time again. Unconsciously he reached up to his chest, fingers rubbing the ghost of an old wound that would have been lethal to anyone else. Yes, she certainly did know how to take care of herself.

The night was quiet save for the sound of crickets, and the forest they were in was a bit disorienting in the dark. Tentatively Dennis jumped to the branch of a large nearby oak and cursed, his boots leaving them no room for easy purchase against the bark. Thankfully the Beast was more instinct than conscious thought and quickly adjusted against their fall, fingers digging into the tree to steady them. Their gloves would be ruined by night’s end, and Dennis knew he would have to come up with something more durable that could also mask their DNA. Cautiously climbing down the tree trunk, he breathed a sigh of relief when he felt his feet hit the carpeted forest floor. What he really needed was to stretch out his legs.

Breaking into a brisk jog to get blood flowing into his limbs, Dennis looked all around, trying to mentally map out their surroundings. He sniffed the air and a barrage of pictures flooded his mind-a mass of writhing maggots to the southeast (there must have been a dead animal there until recently), wet fur and gentle snores coming from the north up the mountains, and the comforting scent of burning logs out to the west. It amazed him how little humans could understand with their own sense of smell; it was almost pathetic compared to other mammals.

As his limbs warmed up, anticipation was reaching a crescendo; both he and the Beast felt the call to direct their body to its fullest potential. There was no indication that there were any witnesses nearby, so he broke out into a run, twisting and dodging the trees and plant life set in his path as though it were a game. A few deer raised their heads to direct a wary gaze at this new inhabitant to the forest, but they didn’t run in fear as they would with a human, and the fact did not escape Dennis’s attention. On high alert, he directed the Beast to search for the one emotion they both recognized all too well-fear. They would not risk going down into the sleepy towns below, but they moved relentlessly around the mountainside, looking for something, anything, to help set right. The Beast soon grew impatient at their lack of action, but to his misfortune he was paired with the most disciplined of all of the alters, and so they continued to explore.

Their patience was soon rewarded when the nauseating smell of adrenaline and cortisol wafted towards their nose. Like the mountain cats that stalked the area, Dennis leapt up into a nearby tree and tried to pinpoint the source. Despite not needing his glasses when he teamed up with the Beast, their vision still wasn’t good enough to see anything from where they were perched, so he stealthily moved forward from branch to branch like a leopard on the hunt. Realizing they had a mark, the Beast was beginning to tremble with excitement and bloodlust, making it harder to think.

“Dude, what the fuck?” came a harsh whisper from the east, and Dennis easily narrowed in on the source. There was another cabin nearby, this one much smaller than the one they were currently living in, and it looked unoccupied at the moment save for two younger men at the entrance. The one in front was trying to pick a lock and doing a terrible job of it, while the other man was flinging all sorts of curses. “You told me you knew how to do this, what is the fucking problem?” he continued his tirade, giving Dennis easy opportunity to creep closer. It didn’t look like they had guns, but considering they were so close to the Appalachian Trail, he doubted that was actually the case. Didn’t everyone have guns out here? He wasn’t worried for himself, but if one of them managed to die to friendly fire whilst wildly shooting, he would just have more blood on his hands. He was trying to atone for his sins, not add to them.

He continued to move towards them, almost amused by their incompetence. Hardened criminals or gangsters they were not, most likely just bored locals, if their fumbling was any indication. “If you take any longer, we might as well just break a window, because you’re making enough noise to wake everyone around!” the cranky one was snapping.

“And if _you_ got your gambling problem under control, we wouldn’t even be out here!” 

Dennis’s ears pricked. They sounded like they were drunk, no wonder they could barely function. Still, there was no reason he couldn’t put the fear of God into them. Well, fear of _a_ god.

He jumped from his tree to the cabin rooftop, easily clearing the distance. He landed with a powerful thud, startling the wannabe burglars so bad that they dropped their flashlights and tension wrench. They stared up in awe, mouths slack with fear; dumb hicks hadn’t even covered their faces. “You shouldn’t be here,” Dennis warned, voice rumbling out from the lowest part of his throat so that he sounded like thunder and jumped down to the porch, towering over them.

He expected them to turn tail and run. When they didn’t, he frowned with confusion. When the bigger one pulled out a Glock G19 and pistol whipped him, it took every ounce of willpower not to reach out and bend the offending hand back hard enough to snap. "Gun on the fuckin’ ground. NOW!” Dennis roared, and the smaller one immediately collapsed to the ground, shivering.

A sound came from the other side of the house, startling Dennis, and he whirled around to confirm they really were alone. That was all that it took for the bigger thief to make a move. Dennis stumbled as something cold and metal punched up into his rib cage, throwing him into shock. He was a veteran to all sorts of pain, the kind that scooped out parts of you and violated the holes left behind. This felt different though, perhaps because he was taken by surprise. Wasn’t he supposed to have the skin of a rhinoceros? A howl ripped through the night air that was more wounded animal than human as the knife re-tore his damaged flesh on its way out. In a rage he forgot all about his efforts towards restraint and lashed out behind with an elbow, a satisfying crunch sounding as his bone met cartilage and shattered something in his attacker's face.

Without turning to look, he could hear them urge each other to flee, and before long he was panting into the night air by himself, desperately trying to staunch the bleeding on his left side. Thankfully the attack was sloppily executed, as far as he could tell his liver had been missed completely. Every second that passed without the wound starting to heal was a lifetime of terror, but eventually he felt the skin underneath his fingers begin to close shut. He whimpered, hating himself for it, but it was the closest to death he had been in a long time. What was going on? Did the Beast abandon him mid-fight?

_No_, the Beast whispered, glaring at him reproachfully. _No, I am still here, child_.

Dennis choked hard, trying to fight back a panic attack. That only left one option, the one he didn’t think possible. “It’s true then. You're growing weak?”

_Yes_.

The Beast relinquished the light, leaving Dennis to suffer alone.

* * *

It felt like it took an eternity to get back to the cabin. While the blood had congealed long ago, there was still an angry red mark where the knife had entered his body and it hurt like hell. At least there was no blood trail to lead back to him. Each step threatened to tear the wound open all over again, and dried blood and dirt clung to his shirt, now more scraps of fabric than actual clothing. The worst part was that he couldn’t stop thinking about how Patricia was _right_. What were they going to do?

His bedroom window remained open, and still intent on not alarming Casey, he chose to painfully crawl through rather than knock at the front door. His good intentions were short lived, as he found her curled up in his bed, his grunts of pain having already woken her. She stared at him accusingly and his heart fell. He knew he should have informed her he was going out, but it's not like her concern could have prevented…this.

The pain on his face kept Casey from tearing into him with a rant about him sneaking off in the middle of the night. Realizing that he was injured, she quickly forgot her anger and jumped out of the bed to press soothingly cool hands against his face and chest. “Oh my god Dennis, what happened? Where were you?”

“I got stabbed.” Wincing, he pulled his shirt to the side to reveal the extent of the injury, and her hands shot to her mouth to keep from yelling.

“Holy shit, that’s bad! Why does it look so fresh? What happened to your accelerated healing?” her questions were coming a mile a minute and he didn’t know how to answer.

“I…” the words died when he saw the expression on her face. Eyes wide, shiny and bright with fear, he couldn’t burden her with the knowledge he had learned to be true. She had tried to warn him, but he didn’t listen. “It looks a lot worse than it actually is, really. I got sloppy and let some idiot get a jump on me, it’s not gonna happen again." 

Casey looked like she was going to argue, but decided against it and helped him sit down on the bed instead. He watched helplessly as she removed his shoes and socks, barely having the strength to hold himself upright, let alone prevent her from taking care of him. It wasn't that he couldn't accept help, he just didn't think it should be coming from her. “Take your shirt off,” she ordered, clearly not going to take “no” for an answer. “I’ll be right back.”

He obeyed without comment, understanding that she had to take the lead right now. Laying down, he didn't even even realize he had dozed off until he felt something warm held against his rib cage. He struggled to open his eyes, but his lids felt like they weighed a half ton. Managing to at least crack them, he watched Casey try to clean off the wound as gently as possible. It was still agonizing, but he did his best to remain steady and not flinch to prevent upsetting her further. Now that his shirt was off it was easy to see the massive bruise forming all along the left side of his body, only broken up by a jagged red gouge. Closing his eyes once again, he allowed himself to enjoy the warmth of her touch fully.

Then without warning, she applied rubbing alcohol to disinfect the area and a groan slipped out of his throat before he could bite it back.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, clearly grieved at causing him pain.

“Don’t be. You gotta do what you gotta do.” Sweat was running down his temples and into the stubble on his chin, reminding him he had to shave. If he didn't die, that was. 

“Are you strong enough to sit up again? I need to get you wrapped up.” Casey held up some medical tape and gauze bandages, so he struggled into a sitting position. Once she was done, he breathed a sigh of relief. All he wanted most in the world was a shower, but that wasn’t going to be happening anytime soon. Second best was sleep, and he curled up into the bed sheets despite his filth, deeming them ruined already. Immediately Casey lay down next to him, trying to remain as close as possible without accidentally brushing up against his side and causing more pain. “Can I stay here with you?” she asked noncommittally, although he could hear the need in her voice. No matter what he said, she wasn't going anywhere.

Regardless, it would be stupid to deny her, if only in case he started bleeding out again. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Please don't let me sleep too long, gonna need to check on this wound pretty often." 

"Of course. Don't worry, I'll wake you in a few hours. Just...get better. I need you to be better."

At his strongest Dennis would have no good response for her, less so even now. He just groaned into the pillow and allowed himself to fall into a fitful sleep. For her part, Casey waited until she was sure he was completely unconscious before she let her tears fall. Truth be told she was never much of a crier, but she couldn't help but feel a little self pity at the moment. After both her parents died, she could count on one hand the people that had come into her life that she had truly cared for, and they never remained for long. Must Kevin be added to that list? Both of them had been split apart at the seams, and when she had realized that his broken pieces easily fit alongside hers, she determined she would see this friendship through until the end. She just prayed that the end wasn’t as soon as it appeared to be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I made Dennis run around in a plastic tiger mask to fight crime. Hit me up Universal, I got the next MCU right here!


	14. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wise stripper once said- "Secrets secrets are no fun. Secrets secrets hurt someone." Barry and Kevin have let Casey in, why won't Dennis? Also, stop cooking fish around Hedwig, please and thank you.

After a few hours of watching Dennis sleep, Casey decided to get up and make some food. Sleep was important for an injury, but so was nutrition, or it was so far as she had known during the long years of living with Uncle John. There was no chance she would ever be a master chef, but she knew her way around a kitchen; she had to learn if she ever wanted to eat anything outside of fast food and the lunches her school had provided. Before his death, her father had taught her about “the cornerstones of a well-rounded meal". He recited the same lecture on the importance of breakfast every time they were out camping, and it came in handy now as she ran over the list again and again-protein, fiber, omega 3s, vitamins-the building blocks of the body's cells. Rummaging through the fridge, she was glad she had recently stocked up, she had no desire to leave Dennis alone in the cabin. Salmon, peppers, carrots, potatoes, and olive oil-she threw everything she could find that was vaguely nutritious into a baking tray and set the oven timer.

The minutes seemed to drag on and she grew impatient for the food to be ready. The longer she was away, the more horrible imagery she conjured up of Dennis dying a terrible death. What if a piece of the knife had broken off into him and they had no idea? What if it got infected, how could they possibly get antibiotics without visiting a doctor? If this injury got out of hand, there was little they could do to stave it off on their own.

Her dreary reverie was soon broken by a wail that made her heart leap up into her throat. Taking the steps two at a time she bounded up to the second floor and flew into the room, Kevin’s form prone and hidden underneath the bedding. “Dennis?”

“No, it's me.” The voice was small and sniffled underneath the covers. “Why does everything hurt?”

“Oh Hedwig,” Casey rushed over to the bed to soothe the boy; gently lifting up the sheets and making sure the bandage was still dry. Everything looked fine, so she sat down and cradled his head in her lap, letting him cry on her. “Dennis got cut last night, but it’s going to be alright." She felt him tremble, touching his forehead to make sure there was no fever. "Where does it hurt the most?”

Initially he indicated his side, but after a moment pointed towards his head, then his stomach. “Everywhere,” he repeated softly. “I came to the light to play, but we’re broken.” 

“You’re not broken, you’re just not feeling well.” Stroking his head gently, she watched his tears fall, desperately wishing there was some other way she could help. “I’m going to get some Advil to help you feel better, but it’s not a good time to be holding the light. Is one of the adults around?”

Hedwig sniffed again, wiping his nose on the blankets. “I think so. Why does it smell so bad?” The aroma of cooked fish was filling the cabin and he wrinkled his nose. “Is that us? It smells like dead people. Did Dennis get bitten by a zombie, et cetera? Spider-man an’ Wolverine were zombies once. ”

“No, that’s definitely not you. I’m making lunch; it will help you get better faster.” Grabbing a tissue off of the nightstand, she cleaned the tears off of his face as he reached past her to grab two more to shove them up his nostrils. “Hedwig, it doesn’t smell that bad.” She tried to sound stern but it took everything in her not to break into giggles, he looked ridiculous. “Now can I speak to one of the adults please?”

Staring at her with red rimmed eyes, Hedwig's lower lip trembled before acquiescing and Casey watched as his entire face suddenly filled with surprise. “HOLY TITTYFUCKING SHIT WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE WE SPENT ALL NIGHT FUCKING A GIANT PORCUPINE?!" Poor Jade was heaving so fast that Casey was concerned she might start hyperventilating, but before she could calm her down, another alter took her place.

“I ain’t sure what’s goin’ on Casey darlin', but we better figure this out right quick-”

“Oh we’ve got a bad dose of it now, Mary."

"Didn't I warn that foolish man? This is what happens when you turn your back on god!"

The alters were flickering in and out of the light like they were connected to a switch controlled by an overactive child, and unease was starting to well up in Casey’s stomach. “K-Kev..Kevin Wendell...” she began, and then bit her lip, feeling guilty. Wouldn’t calling Kevin throw them into more disarray?

After a brief moment Barry managed to fight his way into control, and he offered her a helpless look before he could lose his grip again. "Babe, I think yer gonna have to-"

The concern in his eyes was enough for Casey to act. “KEVIN WEN-"

The alters suddenly stopped rotating and Casey's mouth slammed shut; Kevin had come forward before she could even invoke his full name. 

“Casey.” Despite the horrendous physical state of his body, his voice sounded stronger than it ever had, and it commanded her attention. “What’s going on?”

* * *

Casey told Kevin everything she knew and then some. What Patricia had predicted, what happened to Dennis the night before, how she was getting along with Barry-everything came out in a crazy stream of consciousness, things were said whether she meant to or not. She held this wild, irrational hope that Kevin could fix everything-he thought he was the weakest of them all, but it was a lie. He was the true god of their world, not the Beast, and he had the ability to make all of this right. He _had_ to.

Kevin didn’t speak much, just quietly ate his fish and vegetables while she filled him in. They were sitting out on the front porch, enjoying the last temperate days before the winter chill started to set in. He wasn’t even wearing a shirt, allowing his battered body to soak in as much of the sun’s warmth as possible. He didn’t seem as upset as Casey would have expected and she had the sinking feeling that he was ready to waste away and give up without a fight, despite seeming to be stronger every time she saw him.

“How does it feel?” Pointing to his side, Casey saw that his skin was now a sickly yellow and purple mishmash poking out from underneath the bandage. In any other context, the colors might have even been pretty if they didn't bring to mind sepsis and rot.

Kevin shrugged. “I’ve had much worse.” It was such a sad thing to say, but his eyes were sparkling like they were in on a joke together, and maybe they were. He noticed the wary expression she was wearing and bit his bottom lip like Barry always did when he was feeling uncertain. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because it’s been non-stop drama ever since Dennis came back hurt, and you’re the only one not upset. You’re acting like this is no big deal.”

Putting his fork down, Kevin frowned at his empty plate. He hadn’t noticed it until she brought it up, but yes-he was calm, all things considered. “This is going to sound terrible, but when things are bad I just go to sleep and one of the others takes care of the problem. I gave up on worrying a long time ago. Dennis usually keeps me safe, you know?"

"Then who is there to keep Dennis safe?"

"I..." That was a good question, although it sort of felt like the equivalent of asking what would warm the earth if the sun ever died out-the scenario was unfathomable, so why contemplate it at all? "I'm not sure Dennis would _want_ someone to watch over him, he doesn't like feeling useless. And since we're on the topic of Dennis…how exactly did he come across a burglary attempt in the middle of nowhere?”

“Oh…_oh._”

“Oh?”

“He hasn’t told you.” It was beyond her how so many people in one body could manage to keep secrets from each other like this. Besides, why wouldn't Dennis want to tell Kevin he was searching for salvation? It was certainly a noble enough goal, why keep that quiet?

“Dennis considers it his sacred duty to keep me in the dark as much as possible. He says the less I know about his affairs, the better.”

If Casey had a gun held to her head and had to pick one thing she hated about Dennis, that would definitely be it. “He’s kind of a control freak, isn’t he?”

“You can’t seriously be telling me you just figured that out?”

“I don’t wanna be mean; he’s doing the best he knows how.” Scooting closer, she admired Kevin's hair in the sunlight, now a few inches in length. It was a dark brown with highlights-chestnut maybe? It suited him, and she reached out to stroke it, trying to avoid having to answer any more questions about Dennis. “Your hair is gorgeous, you really shouldn’t keep it shaved. Barry agrees, by the way.”

“You’re changing the subject,” Kevin complained, but made no effort to stop her as she ran her fingers through it. He closed his eyes, almost humming with pleasure and tilted his head back to encourage her to move further up his scalp. She obliged, noting the facial hair growing in. It almost looked ginger, and she was about to tease him when he opened his eyes and their brilliance took her breath away.

Kevin wasn't about to give up trying to get her to spill on Dennis, so he used this to his advantage. Attempting to drum up some charm, he pressed his forehead to hers and stared at her with the most pleading expression he could muster. “Please tell me what Dennis is doing. I know he’s up to something, and Barry refuses to talk about it. Barry tells me EVERYTHING, this is beyond weird.”

This wasn't fair. Of course the situation wasn’t fair to Kevin either, but Casey really didn’t want to come between him and Dennis. Having either of them upset with her would be a drag when they were pretty much stuck together for the winter. But the look he was giving her was making her stomach flip in tiny beats, and it _was_ his body after all...

Kevin watched the conflict play out on her face and sighed. “I understand if you don’t want to tell me. It’s not like I’m used to asking questions, though I do feel like maybe I should start. Lately things have been…different? I still don't like holding the light for long periods, but it doesn’t hurt like it used to.” He glanced down at his bandaged side and grimaced. “This sure as hell hurts though. I really hope Dennis knows what he’s doing.”

Suddenly cocking his head to the side, Kevin's eyes lost focus and he gazed out into the distance. Casey recognized the look from some of the others and knew that an alter was present. She tried to remain patient and not insist Kevin translate the ongoing conversation, but with the way he was frowning it was hard to tamp down on her anxiety.

After a while he shook his head as if he were trying to ward off sleep and re-affixed her with his gaze. “Sorry, that took me by surprise, I’m usually pretty aware of when one of the others is in the light with me. I think Dennis is annoyed I've been prying." He gave her a small, sheepish grin before pulling her into a hug. "It's time for me to go. You...you'll call me if things get bad, won't you?"

"You could just stay here with me, and I wouldn't have to call you."

Kevin leaned in close, as though he were about to tell her a secret. "You won't hear him admit this, but I think Dennis needs you more than I do right now."

Nodding, Casey released her hold on him as he removed Dennis's glasses from the waistband of their sweatpants. "I'll help him the best I can."

"I know."

As though he were hit by lightning, Kevin’s body stiffened and all that was Dennis seeped into the crevices of his muscles, his cells, contours becoming hard lines. Today the sharpness was belied by echos of pain in his face, and for a brief moment he took Casey into his arms and leaned down into the crook of her neck, as if his strength were all a facade and he needed hers instead. “Casey.” He spoke her name like it was a word of power that would tether him to the present moment, and she involuntarily shivered as his breath tickled her ear. “I’m sorry I worried you last night, that was the opposite of my intentions.”

For a moment they sat there in silence, appreciating the comfort of warm skin beneath their fingertips. Suddenly jerking back as though someone had slapped him, Dennis released her and the spell was broken. Casey felt the loss of his touch on a level she didn’t quite comprehend. “I forgive you. But promise you won’t do it again?”

“I promise.” Putting on his glasses, Dennis stared daggers into his side, clearly displeased with how dirty his dressing had become while he was away from the light. His hand trailed down to the end of the bandage and he yanked up, a hiss of pain escaping him as it started to unravel.

Casey bit at her lower lip in sympathy and swatted his hands away. “Don’t touch it, let me.”

Prepared to see something truly egregious, both audibly sighed in relief when the bandage fell away and the area looked that much healthier. There was massive discoloration that took up a good portion of his rib cage, but the gash itself was nearly closed, the threat of infection a distant memory. Dennis grunted in satisfaction. “See? I just got a little overexcited last night, I shouldn't have let my anxiety get the better of me. No reason to worry.”

Casey was not having any of that. “Oh no, we’re not just going to pretend this didn’t happen. Patricia was right all along, wasn’t she? Admit it, the evidence is staring us right in the face!”

Dennis folded his arms against his chest, trying to convince her through sheer force of will. “I just pissed the Beast off; he probably thought he was teaching me a lesson. He’d never really let us die.”

With no shirt to grab hold of, Casey cupped the sides of his face and forced him to look at her. “Don’t pretend any of you had a choice in this. The Beast isn’t responsible; we gotta face reality! The sooner we do, the sooner we can come up with a solution.”

He calmly took a hold of her wrists and removed her hands from his face. “This isn’t your problem.”

“Of course it is. I believe in what you’re doing, I think it’s important! I…I want to help.”

“You don’t owe me anything.”

“Maybe not, but what about the others? What about Barry?”

Truth be told, while Kevin was in the light, Dennis had been doing his own thinking about their situation and came up with an idea he didn’t particularly like. Unfortunately for him, his liking something had never been a prerequisite for doing what was necessary. “Barry never deserved any of this. I was thinking…maybe it’s best if I just leave the light for good. You two can use my forgeries, run off to the other side of the country. Kevin’s gettin’ so much stronger, seems he’s out in the light every week now, and Hedwig is entitled to a real childhood, isn’t he?”

Casey sat there blinking furiously, unsure if she was understanding him correctly. “Are you being serious?”

Dennis rubbed his jaw in agitation. “The way I see it, there’s only a few of us holding you back from having an actual, real life. I know you could have something good, I’ve seen it with my own eyes these past few months. All the others adore you, and Kevin deserves happiness, God knows I’d do anything to give it to him. Maybe a life in the darkness, keeping the Beast at bay, is how I earn forgiveness." The thought must have obviously grieved him, but aside from the corners of his mouth twitching, he seemed impenetrable. "I can’t promise that would keep us from dyin’, but it might. Poison is only deadly relative to how close you are to it, right?”

“That’s not something I want.”

“But you just said…”

“NONE of us could be happy…without you around.” It was a ridiculous sentiment and Dennis laughed. She pouted, couldn’t help it. “Don’t laugh, I mean it. Don’t you want what Barry and I have?”

The grim smile on Dennis’s face promptly disappeared; this conversation was veering quickly into dangerous territory. “I’m not sure you understand what you’re asking.”

“Do you? It’s a completely normal thing, you know.”

“Then you don’t understand __who__ you’re asking.”

“I’m just being honest, and YOU are being over dramatic. Have you never been in a relationship before?”

Dennis caught his breath, part of him thinking this must be some sort of misunderstanding. Never in a thousand lifetimes would he ever have expected to hear this coming from her, he was at a loss. “I don’t understand. You have Barry.”

This wasn’t exactly something she had previously discussed with Barry and guilt gnawed at her-would he consider this cheating? “Yes, but you and he share a body. Can I not also be attracted to you?”

“Just because we have the same body doesn’t mean we’re the same people. We’re not interchangeable!” Dennis didn’t mean to snap, but it stung to hear her talk like that. He had thought Casey was different, seen them for who they really were.

“That’s the point though, I like you for you!” Casey was torn between humiliation and annoyance, grappling with her thoughts running a mile a minute. “I have feelings for Kevin too! Is that really so bizarre?”

“In a vacuum? No. In this situation? Absolutely!”

“What! Why? Because I’m young?”

Dennis didn’t know what was going on right now. “No! Because I kidnapped you, what the hell Casey?” He was angry and didn’t know why. Because she was taunting him with something he could never have? Because she was being naive and could end up being hurt by going after the wrong man? If she was attracted to someone like Dennis, who next? _Oh god, what if this was because of her uncle?_ Weren’t there people like that, that became so used to their abuser that they sought out others to emulate the relationship? What if she saw her uncle in him? 

To her credit, Casey didn’t take his outburst the wrong way, just stared at him sadly with those huge brown eyes of hers. “Do you think you’re capable of hurting me again?”

The words hung in the air between them like a pool of acid, Dennis afraid to open his mouth for fear of being burned. He swallowed and worked his jaw again and again, willing into existence the magic words that would make this disappear for good. He cared for her, of course he did! Why didn’t she understand he was protecting her? That was what he did, and the best way for him to guard Casey was to stay away at all costs. He would never hurt her.

But he_ could_.

He struggled to his feet, leaning against the porch railing for support. His side was starting to ache again from his sudden, jerky movements, but it would be nothing compared to the mental paces he'd be putting himself through later on. “Do you know why we keep tigers in zoos and not as pets?” He was purposely being condescending, banking on her realizing it too so that she would never talk this nonsense again. Casey looked away, setting her jaw and refusing to dignify him with a response. Good, he hoped she stayed angry. “It’s because they’re predators, Casey! Yeah, they look cute and if you’re lucky, they remain big house cats. But you_never _turn your back on a tiger, because sometimes nature happens and then that’s it. You ignore what they really are and it could be the last mistake you ever make. You don’t let your guard down around wild animals and you don’t let your guard down around me, got it?” 

Without waiting for a response, he turned and headed back inside. He heard her sniffling before the porch door shut and he hardened his heart despite wanting nothing more than to turn around. This was all his fault, he shouldn't be touching her and putting ideas into her head. Stupid, stupid Dennis. He didn’t get to think of himself, it only ended up hurting the people around him. Selfishness was the path back to the Horde, back to the Beast. The best that he could hope for was that Casey would understand someday.


	15. The Only Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey feels bad about making a pass at Dennis without asking Barry's thoughts first. Barry's not having it and gets a little naughty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Behold: smut! There's a little edging and domination ahead, but it's gentle. If you don't think that's your cup of tea, it's only in the latter half of the chapter, won't be missing _too_ much else by skipping it.  
2\. NIN reference, yes. Seemed appropriate for the chapter!  
3\. Idc what anyone says, you can't convince me Barry isn't into Grunge with all those dark layers, dude is alternative AF ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

It had only been a day since Casey had laid it all on the line for Dennis and she wasn't sure what was worse: that he rejected her, or that she felt like the most horrible girlfriend in the world for potentially blindsiding Barry. She hadn't seen him since, the light being mostly dominated by Felidawho for some reason felt the need to try and converse with Casey despite her not understanding a word of Spanish.

The Latina woman flit from one room to the next, adjusting the Halloween decorations that Hedwig had so painstakingly worked on himself while chatting endlessly to no one in particular. Unfortunately Casey had opted to take German in school so there was no way she could warn Felida of Hedwig's incoming wrath, or even ask after Barry.

Finally managing to disentangle herself from the other woman, Casey spent the better part of the afternoon in her room, painting. The hours passed and the blank canvas eventually became a visage of Kurt Cobain, one of Barry's favorites. Portraits were always a thrilling undertaking in that they were so easy to get wrong, but a massive source of pride when they came out like they were supposed to. Layer by layer she painstakingly brought her vision to bear, and was so engrossed in the work that she didn't notice Barry flop down on the floor behind her until he leaned forward and kissed the back of her head. Lurching in surprise, her brush streaked across the picture, muddying the entire right half of Kurt's face. She sighed at the painting dejectedly but didn't have the heart to make a fuss over what was supposed to be an apology gift. 

"Ooof, sorry hon." Barry scratched the back of his head sheepishly, realizing the extent of the damage he had just caused. Still ashamed of herself, Casey didn't turn to face him, but Barry was an impatient man. He rested his chin on her shoulder for a better look at the artwork, curious at the silent treatment he was getting. “You're making moves on Dennis, so what, you're done with me now?” She couldn't see the smile on his face that negated what otherwise sounded like a horrible condemnation; the very idea made her heart squeeze painfully as she turned around and stared at him aghast.

“Of course not, you're the best thing that has ever happened me! I've spent all day trying to think of how I could explain-"

Barry cut her off. “Oh come on, you’re being silly. Never did I think I'd get to keep ya to myself, although I'm a little surprised you went with _Dennis _out of everyone." He paused for a moment and then broke into a grin, wiggling his eyebrows. "It's the accent, isn't it?” Wrapping an arm around her waist, he pressed his lips to her ear and offered his best Dennis impersonation. “Oh god, my clothes are all dirty! I...I gotta... gotta take 'em off, gonna have to strip!” He talked with perfect inflection, easily mimicking the strangled pitch Dennis spoke with during moments of duress.

No one knew how to fluster Casey like he did. Face on fire, she stood up and walked into the other room, Barry trailing after her. “Hey, where ya going? I’m not done making you turn red yet!”

Trying not to react and encourage more ribbing, she lead him through the dining room and into the family area, attempting to compose herself along the way. Barry caught up and turned her around to face him. “Come on, don’t be like that. If you’re really sorry, you have to let me tease ya a little.” He winked but his smile slowly disappeared when he saw she wasn't smiling back. “What’s wrong, doll?

“I mean it Barry, I should have been honest with you. Are you seriously telling me you're not offended?”

A little surprised, he reached for the candy bowl set out on the table nearby, making sure to leave behind an exact percentage of each M&M color so Dennis wouldn’t blow a gasket. Chewing slowly, he considered her question.”Am I offended that you’re attracted to the human equivalent of cardboard? I mean a little, it does make me wonder how ya view me. Are you _only_ into boring men?”

“No!” Casey fell onto the couch, exasperated. “I mean does it bother you that I’m attracted to some of the others?”

“By 'others', you mean alternates, right? If that’s the case, then no, I don't care." He then quickly held up a finger to clarify before she could protest. "Don't get it twisted, I care about your feelings, but I don’t care in a way that offends me, if ya get what I’m saying.”

“I...guess? I’m not totally clear on how this works.”

Unfazed, Barry popped a few more M&Ms into his mouth. “I don’t think there are rules.”

Casey exhaled, rolling onto her back. “Are you telling me all those RomComs I’ve seen were for nothing?”

“Obviously. Unless they were directed by Baz Luhrmann, that shit’s the real deal. Hey, shove over.” He burrowed into the couch next to her, draping himself over her body like an afghan. “Anyway, it’s not like they make movies about dating with DID anyway. I dunno about you, but I’m kinda just wingin’ it.”

“Winging it? So is this a first for you?”

He stole a kiss before answering. “First what, relationship?”

“I suppose so.”

“Nah, although I can’t say we’ve had much success in that area, even between the twenty three of us." Tapping his temple, he shrugged. "Lots of people are just looking for a bit of fun, and those that want to settle down aren’t clamoring to lock down someone with our…condition.” He hummed thoughtfully, a bit of sadness shadowing his face. “There was someone...”

Casey found herself intrigued. “What was her name?”

“Ah. His name was Justin.” Barry paused, self-consciously waiting for Casey to show some indication of confusion or disgust, but she didn't even blink.

“Oh. My bad.”

“Does that...bother you? Seems some people get skittish if ya don’t commit to one team or the other.”

“Not even a little.”

While he had never specifically felt the _need_ to define his orientation, Barry found it comforting to know that Casey wasn't interested in boxing him in. “I thought for sure we might have had something that would last. He was an artist too, really chill. Might have even been my first love.”

“What happened? I mean, if you don’t mind talking about it.”

Making a face, Barry rolled his eyes. “Patricia. Patricia happened.”

Of course it was Patricia, Casey wasn't even sure why she had bothered to ask. “Has Patricia EVER done anything nice for you?

“Uh...she made me cookies once?"

"Wow, get that woman a gold star."

Chuckling, Barry nuzzled her neck. "Tell me about it. Things fucking sucked for a while, but sucking was pretty much the majority of our existence up until you came along." Lacing his fingers through hers, he gave a little hum, as if he had just casually mentioned what he wanted for dinner and not something that made her heart skip a beat.

Warmth spread throughout Casey's body and she turned over so that she could envelop him in a hug. "Well now I feel even worse. I'm sorry, Barry."

"Better stop apologizing or I'll really make you sorry," he laughed, clearly teasing.

Did anything ever bother this man? "Well, I guess it doesn't matter anyway, Dennis turned me down. He thinks I’m a pain in the ass, doesn't he?”

"Eh." He just shrugged. “No offense, but that wouldn’t be anything special. He thinks EVERYONE is a pain at some point. He’s just lousy with the fact that he can’t control everything and he hates that.”

“No, I mean it. He regrets even letting me come along, it’s obvious.”

Barry clicked his tongue, wary of trying to explain the complication that was Dennis to someone who wasn’t a part of the System. “I know for a FACT that ain’t true, doll. Look, I can’t see how it’s fair to ask ya to refrain from being with someone if they’re, ya know, actually a part of me. No one else has to deal with having their boyfriend occupying their body only part of the time. If you want that someone to be Dennis, you’re probably going to have to learn how to think like he does, and THAT is a subject I’m just not cut out to tackle."

Casey grinned wryly. "I thought you said he was boring?"

"Boring like watching bacteria is boring. Dull as shit, but god help ya if it gets out of control." 

She was offended on Dennis's behalf. "That's not nice! You know you love him."

"It's starting to sound like I'm not the only one."

“Barry!” Casey squealed in protest, gently flicking his nose. He moved to retaliate and they ended up wrestling their way off of the couch, laughing. Casey tried to pin him down to the floor and he allowed her to without protest, hands up in surrender. “It’s no fun when you let me win!” she objected, but relaxed into his chest, feeling the guilt evaporate from her. In their quieter moments she loved listening to his heart beat its steady rhythm, knowing it was the catalyst that brought life to so many people that she cared for.

“Let you win, ya kidding me? You just look at me and I get all weak, I can’t help it.” He wrapped her up in his arms, unintentionally undermining his words as his strength engulfed her.

For the moment she was safe and warm, and it was so _unlike_ her life up until this point that she almost broke down and cried. Ever since her talk with Kevin the other day, no one seemed willing to discuss what they could do about their looming problem. No one but Patricia and Dennis that was, and neither had an acceptable solution. There had to be another way. Had to. Clutching at his shirt like she could somehow disappear into him and take along all of her fears, drowning them in his unwavering positivity, she shuddered. “I’m scared Barry, you could have died the other day." Wanting him to understand the depth of her dismay, she sat up and stared long and hard into his eyes. "If I ever lose you, I think I’m going to lose _myself_ again.”

She watched his Adam's apple oscillate as he swallowed hard, not responding right away. Barry was a lot of things, but someone who was slow to speak was not one of them. It was almost like he was afraid to, like he expected her to react negatively if he came out and admitted the truth. But she did know the truth, didn’t she? The Beast was dying, and so were they. Nothing he could say would be worse than that.

Instead of answering, he took her face in his hands and planted soft kisses all over her cheeks and nose before settling sweetly to her lips. She would have decried it as a stall tactic, but there was an honest earnestness to it and she felt the need to let him express himself in this way.

“All we’ve ever done is cause you pain or fear. Aren’t you tired of it?" His lips moved from her mouth to neck, peppering her with light kisses. "I’m tired of it. I want to make you feel good.” A hand traveled between her thighs and lightly brushed against her crotch, clearly marking what he had in mind. 

Casey's heart suddenly picked up speed. Was this it? Would this be the moment when she discovered what it was like to touch and be touched and not hurt? She had sex with people other than uncle John before in the past, namely because he used to accuse her of "cheating" and beat the shit out of her regardless if it was true or not, so she always figured she might as well. But even then the experience was numbing at best, no real joy to be had from the connection with another's body. The concept of sex not being yoked to pain was a nebulous idea, like when her teachers in school would talk about quantum physics. She understood it to be a real thing that people better and less broken than her could comprehend, but it would never be an important part of her reality so it was an abstraction at best.

“Come here, baby girl.” From the look in his eyes, Casey could tell he knew what she was thinking. Sitting up, he pulled her into his lap, holding her close. “I won’t pressure ya if you aren't ready. But if you are…please. Please let me make you feel good.”

Hands were on the back of her neck, then tangled up in her hair, trailing down her spine leaving goose flesh in their wake. His body heat was rolling off him in waves, or was that her flushing? Already she was having a hard time comprehending where his body ended and hers began, her awareness becoming one big palate of sensation. 

"I want... need this..." she trailed off, not sure what "this" was exactly, but she had every intention of finding out.

Barry nearly took her then and there, but restrained himself, desiring for her to set the pace. “Tell me what you want, I’m all yours.” His voice was husky like he had already been going down on her for hours and it was so fucking hot she had trouble thinking, trying to decide where she wanted to touch first.

Before she could lose courage she tentatively curled her fingers around the hem of his Hugo Boss shirt and began hiking it up. The fingers of her free hand danced over his abdomen and sides, cautious to avoid the newly healing skin. With a groan, Barry wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled the both of them up to a standing position and then backwards to the sofa where he sat her on his lap. Slowly, teasingly, he pulled the long sleeved shirt off of his body, enjoying the anticipation lighting up her face as it gave way to reveal his athletic form. Slick with sweat from their bout of wrestling earlier, his muscles were cast in sharp definition under the incandescent lighting of the room.

When he was finally free of the tight fabric, Casey’s mouth went dry. She had seen him and the others in various states of undress over the past few months, but never in such an intimate setting, never in a situation where he made himself bare and vulnerable just for _her_. Her hands grasped at his chest, and Barry alternated between sighs and moans as she slowly explored his upper body, enjoying the shift of his muscles beneath her fingertips. She stroked along his shoulders to the upper traps, tracing her way back down his biceps, causing him to shiver slightly. Whatever cologne he was wearing was spicy and smelled like cinnamon, tempting her to taste him. Instead she pulled him into a hungry kiss, tongue trying to probe every area of his mouth at once. He was fucking beautiful and she needed to experience every piece of him. 

Startled by her sudden aggressiveness, Barry quickly recovered and eagerly leaned into her embrace, enjoying the softness of her lips and the demands of her tongue. His receptiveness was reassuring, so Casey moved her hands from his chest down to his hips and began unbuttoning his jeans. He_ did_ say he was all hers, after all.

Barry grunted his approval. Without a second thought he reached down to assist her and then canted his hips upwards to push his pants all the way down, kicking them off. Casey’s tights soon joined his clothing on the floor, and Barry could feel her body responding to him as she began grinding against his thigh.

“God, you’re soaked and I’ve barely touched you. Just wait until I get my hands on you, honey,” he growled, picking her up from his lap and setting her gently on the floor. He briefly took his hands off of her waist to grab a few pillows from the sofa and she whined in protest, but he insisted on propping them underneath her to make the ground more comfortable.

Once situated he leaned over and she could feel him growing harder against her leg. Tugging at the edge of her shirt, he raised an eyebrow, clearly asking for permission to continue. She helped him remove it and just as quickly unclasped her bra, falling back against the pillows and sighing with contentment. It dawned on her that she wasn't even self-conscious about her scars and she reached out to touch the man that made her feel perfect in every way. Her chest bounced along to her happy sighs and Barry unconsciously licked his lips at the sight before him.

Before she could even blink he was on top of her, left nipple in his mouth, his right hand playfully tantalizing the other. The burgeoning stubble on his face scratched at her skin, a firm contrast to the bolts of pleasure that rushed between her legs every time he ran his tongue across her vulnerable buds. He sucked and blew on them, alternating between warm and cold air until they stood tall and proud from the rest of her body, now completely unable to hide from his devilish touch.

“God, I love how sensitive you are, this is almost too fun,” he purred, watching her face intently as she tried and failed to keep her gasps of enjoyment to herself. 

Mischievously, he sat up and pinned both her arms above her head so she was helpless to stop his fingers from searching out other sensitive spots. Casey exhaled sharply as he thumbed the softest parts of her, his fingertips tracing feather light trails up and down her rib cage and back over her breasts, again and again, occasionally stopping to pinch a nipple or tickle the delicate skin of her sides. Heat was building up inside, up until now she didn't even know that this was a turn on for her. The titillation was getting to be too much, the things he was doing to her nerves with just one hand...too much. The first orgasm crashed over her when he returned to flicking his tongue over her breasts, leaving her head spinning.

Barry didn't stop even as he felt her bucking underneath him, but it was clear he was surprised that was all it took to get her going. A shiver of glee traveled down to his back and he grinned wickedly. "Coming for me already? How many more can we get out of you before I'm done?"

How many more? How much time did he have? Casey couldn't reply, incognizant of anything besides her need to continue being touched everywhere. The friction of his skin against hers was unbearably delicious as the hard surfaces of his muscles collided with hers. Stealing another kiss, he bucked into her hips, her orgasm clearly having an effect on him. “Can I take these off?” he begged into her mouth, rubbing the top of her Pink boy shorts. Casey nodded so fast she thought she would sprain her neck.

His lips left hers and she felt hot breath on her hips, her legs. Running her fingers through his hair, Casey yanked in surprise when his mouth found its way to her inner thighs, but he just chuckled against her skin. He began leaving a trail of kisses and gentle nips all over and Casey was so in tune with the sensations she didn’t realize he had displaced her underwear until his thumb briefly brushed against her clit. Lighting raced through her body and she arched her back involuntarily, trying to connect with his thumb again.

“Nuh uh, you’re not getting off again that easy. Literally.” 

“Oh god, not the time for a stand up routine,” Casey mumbled into her palm, biting down around her knuckles to keep from moaning and begging.

His fingertips blazed a hot trail down her stomach and back down between her thighs. “Spread your legs for me, honey. As wide as you can.”

Trembling with anticipation, Casey obeyed. Normally the wanton display would leave her feeling embarrassed, but she was so desperate for his touch that at that point she would have done literally anything he asked for. She was at his mercy.

Deft fingers explored her folds and Barry shut his eyes with a groan, enjoying how wet she was. He finally spread her labia apart, revealing her most intimate areas to his hungry gaze before lowering his mouth and giving her what she craved most in the world, lapping slowly away at her. The feeling was unlike anything else and Casey grabbed the pillow underneath her head just to have something to clutch at in her spasms of ecstasy. His tongue worked deeper inside her entrance and teased the nerves of her pussy awake, the pace somehow too slow and completely perfect all at once. For the moment, all that existed where those long, slow licks, nose nudging against her clit. When she started breathing hard, his finger switched places with his mouth, gently entering her. He paused to make sure she was still comfortable, but she thrust her hips upwards, wordlessly begging him to continue.

Pleased, he returned his focus to her clit and lavished it with attention while his finger stroked her inner walls, kneading and filling her. When her thighs squeezed tightly around his arm he brought in a second finger and moved deeper, feeling her muscles expand and contract around him. She was dripping wet but he wasn’t ready to send her over the edge yet, there was so much more for her to experience. He continued his ministrations, backing off when he felt her about to come just so he could take her there all over again. 

When he suddenly removed his fingers from her, Casey could have cried with frustration. “What the hell Barry...” she whined, wiggling violently underneath him. There was definitely going to be rug burn later on, but right now the discomfort was welcome relief from the fire building inside, the fire Barry refused to put out. The tendrils of pleasure that had been running through her nerves curled back up into her, leaving her achy and needing.

“Trust me, I'm gonna make it worth your while” he murmured, sucking her neck, pressing his hands into her chest, enough stimulation to keep her turned on but not nearly enough to get off to. She tried squeezing her legs to relieve some of the pressure, but he just wedged a knee between her thighs so she couldn’t get them close enough.

Realizing he was just toying with her, she panted her displeasure but he only chuckled. “You want me to stop?”

No, she didn’t want him to _fucking stop_, she wanted him to_finish_. He began playing with her tits again, more careful the second time around not to overstimulate her before he was ready. 

The edging was becoming unbearable and instinctively Casey shifted from his grasp so she could finish herself off. Barry shook his head, unwilling to give up the honor of setting off the firecracker that was building up inside her. “Where do ya think you’re going? How am I supposed to make you scream if you keep squirming away from me?”

Pulling her back, he adjusted the both of them so that his left arm was locked securely around her hip and thighs, pressing her pelvis further into the ground so that she had less room to move. He returned his attention to eating her out, and when she realized she had no choice but to lay there and be worshiped, the fire inside her redoubled full force. Her legs trembled, unable to remain still while awash in endorphins. Barry held her down tighter, not letting her escape a single lick of his tongue or stroke of his fingers.

“Barry, fucking…please,” she begged, simultaneously delirious with pleasure and in agony from anticipation.

Taking pity, he began picking up the pace with his hand, finger fucking her while unrelentingly teasing her clit with his tongue. “Don’t hold back baby girl, I need to hear you.”

Within a few moments she came explosively, Barry’s name and not a few expletives leaving her mouth, vision temporarily going black from sensation overload. For a brief few seconds, all she knew was ecstasy.

When the stars cleared from her eyes, she saw Barry grinning down at her, nose and mouth wet with her excitement. “That was…holy shit,” Casey groaned, melting into the pillows underneath her. She had never felt anything like that before in her entire life, never knew a man could make her feel so good. She watched through half lidded eyes as Barry licked his fingers, obviously pleased with himself. 

“Whadya think? Am I good with my hands or what?”

Exhaling a short laugh, Casey sat up, shaking off the last vestiges of post-orgasm weakness. She couldn’t stay still for long, he looked so goddamn sexy sitting there, all smug and covered in her cum. It was her turn to make him beg.

Without thinking she reached over and yanked his boxers down, freeing him from the fabric’s constraints. For a moment she hesitated, the sight of his cock suddenly bringing to mind thoughts of her uncle. She turned her gaze to Barry’s face and it was so full of genuine desire and affection that those bad memories immediately dissipated. She wanted to make new memories, good ones, with this man that she was falling in love with. “Can I..touch you?” she wasn’t sure how consensual sex usually went, but he had the courtesy to ask her, so she was going to ask in turn.

In response he eagerly took her hand and placed it on himself, a throaty growl of bliss escaping his lips when her fingers made contact and she thumbed his tip. She couldn't get over how soft his skin was, and how warm he was to the touch. Despite the need dripping from his slit, he patiently allowed Casey to take the time she needed to get used to him, unwilling to make her uncomfortable.

Without warning, she brought him into her mouth and his breath hitched, completely unprepared for the wet heat now wrapped around his shaft. He reached out to curl his hands in her hair, but seeing an opportunity for a bit of payback, Casey released him and rocked back onto the soles of her feet. "If you want me to finish you off, you have to keep your hands to yourself," she purred sweetly, and Barry bit his lower lip.

"Vamp," he hissed, but his eyes were sparkling with delight. Lifting his arms so that she could keep an eye on him, he fixed her with a playful smile. "I hope you know that this means war." 

"Big talk for someone with their pants down!" Before Barry could retort she was wrapped around him again and his hands immediately flew to his head, clutching fistfuls of hair as she took him further into her mouth. He writhed under her touch, flexing his hands to keep from grasping her until he finally reached over his head and grabbed at the bookshelf behind him. 

When they had finished, neither bothered to re-dress, both too much of a hot, sticky mess. Not usually one for displays of strength, Barry nonetheless gently picked Casey up from the ground with ease and brought them to the master bath where they could wash off. As the shower ran and they relaxed underneath the hot water, Casey couldn't help but let her mind wander to the future. Despite never giving her a clear answer before their...tryst, it was clear Barry was trying to avoid thinking about the Beast altogether. It was beyond frustrating. Dennis was too stubborn to ask for help, and Patricia was a murderous zealot that would happily slit the throat of innocents if it meant saving her own skin. Hedwig needed to be protected from the truth at all costs, and now Barry was unequivocally ignoring it. Fortunately, there was one alter that was smarter than all of them combined, and if Casey could reach out to him without Patricia finding out, they may be able to figure something out yet. She began working on a plan that might save them all.

"Casey?"

Her eyes snapped back to Barry, not realizing that he had been speaking. He was standing in front of the shower stream, steam rising all around him as droplets fell from his nose and chin, a living work of art. She briefly wondered if he would be up for a second round right then. "Sorry, was daydreaming. Warm water makes me kind of sleepy."

He gently ran his hands through her hair, wringing out the last traces of conditioner. "I can see that. Nevermind though, it wasn't particularly important." He was smiling, but the look in his eyes was telling a different story.

She was about to press the issue, but suddenly the ground shook, the water pooled underneath their feet trembling with aftershock. A tortured scream quickly followed, and before Casey could react, Barry was pulling on his boxers and headed for the stairs. He paused briefly at the door. "Stay here." The eyes narrowed as his brows knit together, concern etching his face, and then he was gone.

Dennis?

Another cry of pain, and Casey threw on the oversized shirt Barry had left behind and raced out after him, her resolve indomitable. Frankly, he was a fool if he thought she wasn't coming. Whatever was happening, they were in this together.


	16. Debridement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hell visits the Pocono mountainside (hints of animal abuse, SI, and [self] victim blaming in this chapter)

The sight that confronted Casey and Dennis was surreal; their cozy refuge had suddenly turned into a scene from a horror movie. One of the glass panes in the dining room was shattered, and the broken form of a young buck was frantically trying to free itself from the frame. Gore was beginning to coat the floor, chunks of flesh cascaded down as it struggled against the splintered wood.

To his credit, once Dennis realized Casey was coming along he didn’t insist on her leaving, just motioned to stay away from the shards of glass that now lay everywhere. The ruined animal was screaming; in all her years of hunting, Casey had never heard a deer make a noise like the one this poor creature was. How did it even end up like this? Both of its eyes appeared to be missing, blood oozing from torn up, damaged sockets. Losing one eye to another buck during a clash over a mate would be plausible, but both? Frankly it just didn’t seem natural, and she wasn’t sure what to do, how to help. Its movements were becoming less forceful due to blood loss, but in its frenzied state even one hoof to the chest could cause serious injury.

Fortunately Dennis was much more decisive. Bracing a foot against the wall for leverage, he reached out to grab the burgeoning antlers on the deer's head. With one swift twisting motion, he put the suffering animal out of its misery. It slumped down onto the frame, the weight of its body further impaling it on a shard of glass, more blood pooling around Dennis’s feet. He sighed, so many emotions in one breathe, and glanced out of the corner of his eye at Casey. “You ok?”

“I don’t know.” She was just…aware of an indurated sadness within her. It seemed like no matter where she went, there was someone hurting another living thing, with no rhyme or reason behind it. She looked back at Dennis, who was holding his hands out from his body like he had just been burned. “Are you?”

The creases in his brow deepened. “No.” He took a few breathes to steady himself and then moved a bit closer to the carcass. Gently lifting the deer's head, he pointed to noticeable arcane sigils carved into the creature's neck. They were hard to see because so much of its skin had been torn, but there was something obviously there that shouldn't have been. "What the hell is this?" he mumbled, leaning further out the window to examine the rest of the body. Sure enough, it was covered in the markings, and he turned to Casey. "Do you recognize these?"

Taking his place, Casey studied the seals intently. She didn't recognize them, but that didn't prevent an uncomfortable sweat from breaking out all over her body. Something about it was like hanging over the edge of a vast vertical drop, vertigo assaulting her senses. Noticing her sway a bit, Dennis quickly put himself between her and the deer, removing it from her line of sight. "I'm going to go get some trashbags and a mop, and something to cover the window with. Watch where you step, I don't wanna have to pick shards of glass from your feet."

Casey refused to leave his side as he hauled the carcass through the window pane, helped him clean up the glass and gore. It seemed like the blood was never ending, every time she thought they had found all of it, another trail of viscera took its place.

Finally, finally it seemed they were done, and when she suggested going for a walk, it was more for his sake then hers. Dennis shook his head, motioning helplessly to the floor. They had mopped, bleached, and sanitized it as best as they could, Casey didn’t know what else was possibly left for them to do. Regardless, they spent another half hour cleaning, and then Casey asked again. Dennis was acting more vulnerable than usual; He was on the floor scrubbing away at something only he could see, manic. Intuitively she knew that they needed to get away from the bleach vapors, the sounds of pain still psychically reverberating across the room and in their minds. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, causing him to flinch, but he didn't bother to look up to answer. "It's dark out."

Well yeah, it was night time, but since when did that stop them? "We have flashlights."

Stealing a glance at the tarp covered window, Dennis finally turned to look at her. "I don't think it's safe out here anymore."

* * *

Casey couldn’t sleep. There was still a warmth in her chest-an afterglow from her time spent with Barry earlier in the day-but every time she shut her eyes to relive it, the suffering of the deer played out on the black screen of her mind. The past twenty four hours had been a roller coaster of emotional highs and having it all sink at once in was next to impossible. She desperately wanted to seek Barry out for comfort, knowing she could finally unwind if he were by her side, needing his reassuring arms around her as she finally lost herself to slumber. But getting Barry also meant waking up Dennis, which she was loathe to do. The arduous evening had obviously drained their body, they needed their rest. Not to mention the fact that Dennis was still nursing an injury, even though it was mostly healed she still worried endlessly about it. 

Full of jitters and nerves, she quietly got up and headed downstairs. Given this was a hunting cabin, there were a few rifles that she and Jade had discovered in a cabinet earlier on in their stay. Maybe if she had a gun by her side she’d find herself feeling secure enough to finally sleep. There were only a few, but she picked the one that felt most comfortable in her hands. She enjoyed the feel of its weight, the promise of safety it afforded her as she checked to see if it was loaded. The action felt all too familiar, and her skin broke out into cold sweats. For an intolerable moment, she was suddenly in another time and place.

_ Stripped down to just yoga pants and camisole, her scar tissue was laid bare and she was exposed for what she really was-used up and worthless. Soon she would join Marcia and Claire in death, and the rest of her would be broken open for the world to see, just a piece of meat to be consumed and discarded. Kevin would forever be trapped in a murderous body he no longer had control over and would not find relief at her hands. She had failed in every way._

_That creature had her cornered, predator and prey staring each other down, chests heaving, panting-her with fear, him with the exhilaration of existence. Then he noticed her scars, and his shark eyes lit up with something like admiration..._

Gentle hands wrapped around her shoulders and Casey nearly jumped. Thankfully her fingers were nowhere near the trigger; otherwise she may have had another unpleasant situation on her hands. Glancing over her shoulder to see who had broken her waking nightmare, the mild eyes of Orwell stared back at her from behind his black frames. “I am so, so sorry to have startled you. I woke up in the light, didn’t want to squander the opportunity so I came downstairs to read. I noticed you standing here and grew concerned.”

The clock on the wall indicated that she had been lost in her reverie for nearly five minutes, and heat crept up her face, not wanting to tell the gentle man what she had been reminiscing about. “Thank you, but I'm fine. Just thinking back on...about my dad.”

There was a pause, and Orwell nodded towards her hands, wrapped around the rifle in a death grip, knuckles white from pressure. “Why do you have that gun?” It was clear he was asking out of concern, not trying to parent her, but she was growing resentful of the scrutiny. She stared at his worried frown, his mouth- the red mouth that had ripped her leg open to feed, and the mouth that hours ago had found a home for itself between her thighs…a new wave of red colored her cheeks and she briefly wondered if the older man had any idea what his body had been up to recently, but he just kept peering at her with that paternal apprehension. She sighed, the weight of her fears pushing in around her, threatening to drown the little bit of endurance that still resided within.

“Orwell…can you keep a secret?”

* * *

Casey was thrilled to find she had a concerned friend and confidante in Orwell. They spoke long into the night of “the Beast problem” as he kept referring to it, and she was even more thrilled that he agreed to help her come up with a solution. When he inquired about the window, she relayed the night's events to him, sketching out the sigil as best she could remember. If anyone could figure out what it was, it would be Orwell. While he couldn't immediately tell her what it meant, he did have some ideas, and promised to steal away to the local library later that day to do some research. It was obvious he loved having a problem to sink his teeth into, and perhaps even more so enjoyed the urgent sense of secrecy his mission entailed.

“My dear, I do not believe we deserve you as a partner in this battle, but it is an alliance I cherish. Dennis and Barry are letting ego blind them, and Patricia, well…damn Patricia, she’s a mad woman. I shall endeavor to aid you in solving this conundrum! I will not go to our death quietly, I can promise you that. If these are truly our last days, we will conduct them with nobility and grace.” Taking a deep breath, he raised a finger with conviction. “One of our most remarkable presidents once said, 'For us is the life of action, of strenuous performance of duty; let us live in the harness, striving mightily; let us rather run the risk of wearing out than rusting out.'"

Warmth bloomed through Casey’s chest, she couldn’t help it, he was such a character. "It’s better to burn out than to fade away.”

Orwell seemed slightly surprised; no one else seemed to ever appreciate his callbacks to the great thinkers and leaders of history. "Ah. Neil Young, was it?"

"What _don't_ you know, Orwell?"

He smiled warmly, and Casey found herself relaxing. They could do this.

* * *

The morning came faster than Casey would have liked. Although she was finally able to sleep after unburdening herself to Orwell, only a few hours had passed until she was woken up by sounds in the kitchen downstairs. Dennis was one of the few alters that woke up at the crack of dawn, and she was eager to check up on him. The smell of French Vanilla greeted her as she opened her bedroom door, and she padded down the steps to see Dennis sitting at the counter, nursing a steaming mug of coffee in his hands. He glanced up as he heard her approach. “Did you get any sleep?”

“More than you did, most likely.” Casey frowned at the dark circles under his eyes, the way his shoulders slumped towards the ground, his posture so entirely unlike him. It didn’t appear that he got any rest at all, not even after she and Orwell had said their goodnights.

He stood up and brushed past her to turn on the stove top, dismissing her concern. “I slept just fine. Would you like something to eat?”

She nodded while making a beeline for the coffee pot, and Dennis started prepping breakfast, pulling out some eggs. They worked in comfortable silence for a while, Casey enjoying the view from the kitchen window while she chopped tomatoes for omelettes. It was supposed to be another chilly day, but the sun was out and in the distance she could hear a woodpecker getting an early start on its work. “It looks like it’s going to be gorgeous out.”

Dennis offered a noncommittal grunt.

They continued to work in silence for a few beats longer while Casey gathered up her courage. “Did you want to take that walk, then?”

Without a second's hesitation Dennis glared at her from over his glasses. “I told you, that’s not how this is gonna play out.” Christ, were they really going to do this _again_?

Casey froze, knife mid-slice, a lump forming in her throat. “Excuse me?”

“You’re not to spend more time than necessary with me.” He said it like he was explaining how rain was formed-all matter of fact, like it was a law of nature and not him pulling some paternalistic bullshit.

Cocking her hip, Casey put down her knife and crossed her arms, unable to comprehend why he was being such a dick. “Stop talking to me like you have any sort of say over my life.”

“What else am I supposed to do? We JUST had this conversation. You have Kevin. You have twenty one other alters to go picking flowers and skip through the woods with, or whatever the hell it is you’re so insistent that we do. Patricia and I are OFF limits.”

A small part of her considered informing him that Barry and she had recently spent half a day gathering flowers as reference for some clothing patterns he had in mind. They had _quite_ enjoyed themselves, thank you very much, but she didn't want to further derail the argument. “Now you’re speaking for Patricia?”

The kitchen counter reverberated as Dennis slammed his hands down, frustrated. “Really Casey? Really? You’re telling me with a straight face you WANT to be friends with Patricia?”

“Do you honestly care what I want? It sure doesn't seem like it." 

His breathing was becoming shallow, chest rising and falling rapidly in time with the frantic pace of his thoughts. “Do you know what I _want_? What I want is wrong. I…have these images in my head, and they’re not good. I can’t stop thinkin’ ‘em, no matter how hard I try. And they just…” he deflated. How could he explain the Worm to her? “Would YOU want to spend time with someone that triggered your fears?"

"Wait, so now_ I'm_ the problem?" Tears were pricking at Casey's eyes and it infuriated her. Why should she feel bad for something that wasn't her fault? She didn't do anything wrong.

Immediately Dennis regretted his words. Kevin's mother used to blame them for her emotional state constantly, leaving Dennis devastated. It scared him how he kept discovering more and more strands of himself that connected back to her, and it was just all the more reason to keep his distance. "I didn't mean it like that. You're not responsible for my thoughts, I'm just doing all I can to stop them. I'm always just... scared and so fuckin’ tired. And you know how scared, tired animals behave." There was desperation in his face that Casey had never seen before. "I am _begging_ you, take my word for it and just drop it."

If this were any other point of her life, she would have, she was an expert at running and hiding from reality. But less then a year ago she found the courage to stop hiding because a person that shouldn't exist saw something within her that no one else did. “You say the Beast is the ‘highest form of human evolution’, yet you keep referring to yourself as an animal. How does that make any sense? What is the disconnect there?”

Dennis was blindsided, he honestly believed she would give him a break. She was picking on him, WHY was she picking on him? He was trying so hard to be good, and he understood it wasn't much, but didn't that count for something? For a brief moment he fantasized about laying his hands down on the oven top, burning away every bit of evil from inside him. Maybe he could cut himself open from sternum to groin and dig out that seed of wickedness that Kevin’s mother had placed inside him the first time she used him as her toy. Every time he _let_ her, like the twisted motherfucker that he was (once, he wanted to have Barry ask Dr. Fletcher about possible reasons a child would let their mother hurt them, but he was too ashamed, too afraid of the answer). Maybe if he burned himself enough he could scour the filth that was intrinsically a part of him. Then he would be safe, and would never have to worry about hurting Casey. He could have what he always wanted to have but never deserved, and they could laugh over the fact they ever had to have these arguments.

When it became apparent that Dennis wouldn't respond, Casey turned back to cutting up vegetables, unaware of the current battle raging in his head. “Whatever. I can’t force you to be my friend, or to even like me. But the one thing you have zero control over is the fact that I forgive you."

Her words shocked him out of his reverie and he scowled. “I could die for you twenty times over and I wouldn’t deserve your forgiveness.” Ask any sane person if Casey should have run away with Dennis and they would think you were nuts. Why was she the only one that couldn’t see it?

"Barry forgave you and you accepted it. Why can't I forgive you?”

“Barry and I need each other to survive. But you? You should be long gone. You should be five states away from me by this point.”

Casey fought back a smile. “I’d be forgiving you from five states away then.”

This was impossible. He didn’t _want_ Casey’s forgiveness because he never asked her for it, and he never asked her for it because he didn't know how to ask. Despite her reassurances, there was no good way to apologize for what he had done. None. He could write an entire encyclopedia's worth of confessions and remorse, but it still couldn’t change the past, so he just wouldn’t bother. Maybe one day he _would_ get the chance to die for her, but until that day, the idea of forgiveness was a complete joke.

Casey watched with some amazement as a tear trickled down his cheek. Huffing, Dennis lifted his glasses to angrily swipe at his eyes with the back of a hand, refusing to look at her. He hated crying, not so much because he found it shameful, but because it seemed like he spent the first half of his life doing nothing but crying. He eventually learned to be stronger for Kevin's sake, but right now he was just too damned overwhelmed to fight it.

Feeling guilty about working him up, Casey decided to concede the point. “Fine, we'll do it your way. Just answer one thing for me?"

Grateful to be able to move on, Dennis nodded. "What is it?'

This was her last chance, she had to pick her words carefully. "What about when I came to visit you in the hospital, before we ran away?”

“What about it?” He began cracking eggs over the stove, watching them sizzle, wishing he could evaporate into the air along with the steam.

“When I touched your arm…Kevin came into the light. Why was he able to take the light from you?”

Defenses immediately raised, Dennis snarled, tearing his eyes away from their food. “He wasn’t supposed to be able to do that! That was the first time ever, I swear!”

Casey raised her hands soothingly. “No…no. It’s a good thing, right? Don’t you want Kevin to be able to hold the light?”

“I…”

Gingerly, she reached for his arm again, like she was trying to pet a skittish rabbit. “Could something that made Kevin feel safe also be something that is wrong and evil? Why did he come out, Dennis?”

Kevin came out because Dennis was feeling…well, not exactly safe, but maybe some semblance of it. It was the first time anyone had shown any concern for him outside of the System-not Kevin and not one of the more lovable alters, but _him_. He looked down at her hands, still clinging to his arm like he was actually worth something. God, if she truly understood the mountains he would move for her, she'd never believe it. And here she was, trying to comfort him once again, and the only thing she asked in return was his friendship. He’d never before been asked to give something of himself that didn’t hurt. He was hollowed out, all of his words and intentions had fled in the wake of their arguing, leaving nothing behind but resignation, and maybe even a little tranquility in their wake. He looked to her with watery eyes. “If you're so convinced, tell me I’m not hopeless. Maybe if someone else says it, I can believe it.”

“I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.” She opened the front door, letting the sunshine and birdsong pour through into the kitchen. “Let’s go?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right now while writing I feel like I’m walking a fine line between realism and beating a point to death wrt Dennis. The man has done terrible things, and he’s been through terrible things. He’s repentant, but he also has OCD and is self-loathing. He has some truly awful “proclivities” as the good doctor put it, but is it the product of his nature or how he was raised (and we use the word “raised” loosely)? I think most of us as fans have answered that for ourselves, or we wouldn’t make him the protagonist of so many of our stories. He’s certainly not going to be as gentle on himself as an outsider would, and his recovery won’t be fast. However, is it possible he's at a turning point? Should he be?


	17. One Dog Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This whole "saving the world" thing is a lot trickier than Dennis initially anticipated.

“I don’t like seeing animals suffer. They don’t mess with us, but people are always pulling them into some sort of bullshit, just ‘cause we’re supposedly on top of the food chain. It’s wrong.”

Eyes widening in surprise, Casey glanced over at Dennis. When he agreed to come along with her she was admittedly taken aback, having expected him to withdraw after their argument. When he didn’t, she decided to do her best to not push him further out of his comfort zone, content to walk alongside him quietly. The fact that he was opening up to her by his own volition was encouraging.

Unsure of how she could hearten him, she played with the fabric of her jacket, a million bloody images replaying through her mind. It wasn’t really a surprise he felt a strong kinship to animals, and despite all of the murders committed by the Beast, Dennis himself had never before taken a life. Even with all of his strength, he wore violence like an ill-fitting suit- something to be endured, not desired. “At least you were there to help. No one should have to die alone.”

She didn’t realize the effect her words would have until Dennis winced, doubtless thinking about her near death at the hands of the Horde. Imperceptibly he shifted away from her, couldn’t have been more than an inch or two off of the trail, but there might as well have been an ocean between them now._ Nice going Casey_, she thought glumly to herself.

They walked on in silence. It was cold out and the wind was heavy at times, but the trees kept the worst of the chill at bay. Still, occasionally in her peripheral vision she would notice Dennis glancing over at her and making faces. She could tell he was trying really hard not to comment on her impractical wardrobe choices, as she had chosen to forgo gloves and a scarf. She decided to try conversation again so he wouldn't start obsessing. “You haven’t asked me where we’re going.”

He raised an eyebrow, now curious. “Do I need to?”

“I don’t know, you seemed pretty against the idea of picking flowers with me. What if we’re going to a field of daisies or something?”

“I like daisies, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He didn’t smile, but his nose was crinkled up in a way that indicated he was messing with her.

“Well, if I had known that I wouldn’t have brought us here!” She flung her arms open dramatically and Dennis looked around. They were at the peak of a gently sloping ridge that led quite a ways down into a valley. At the bottom was a massive river snaking along the shoreline, and from their vantage point they could see a bright yellow raft fly by in the rapids, water spraying up and over the sides of the vessel. Intrigued, Casey descended the hill, Dennis watching guardedly to make sure she didn’t stumble. In the distance there were the sounds of a dog barking and some children chattering, and he only briefly wondered if they should remain hidden. Children usually meant parents, and he was still overly cautious about being recognized, self consciously rubbing at his five o’clock shadow. It wasn’t much of a disguise.

They reached the bottom, and Dennis looked on with some pleasure and not a little concern as Casey walked up and down the length of the shore, watching the children and their Australian Shepherd play off on the other side of the river. A little boy with red hair ran up to the shoreline to wave at her before being shooed back away from the water’s edge by what looked like an older sister. Casey made her way back over to Dennis and collapsed down onto the ground next to where he stood, dead leaves crackling under her in protest.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Dennis broke the peace of the moment with a throaty sound, a gasp of frustration. “Who tortures an animal like that, and why?” The sunlight clearly wasn’t doing much to burn away the haunting events from the night before.

“It looked pretty ritualistic. Maybe some kind of weird animal sacrifice that went wrong?” Casey craned her neck up for a better view of Dennis, watching his nostrils flare in concern.

“A deer though? And in Nowhere, Pennsylvania?”

She just shrugged. “I didn’t say it made sense.”

The frown lines on Dennis’s face grew deeper. “Maybe the idiot that stabbed me was able to track me down, although I dunno why some strung out rednecks would go through all the trouble.”

There was a pregnant pause, and Casey felt her heart flip over the idea that such violent cruelty was purposely directed at them. “You think someone knows we’re here?”

“I think….” He ran his hands through his hair, flustered. “I mean, its eyes were gouged out Casey, doesn’t that remind you of anything?”

It _had_, but Casey initially waved the idea away as ludicrous, or maybe she just didn’t want to believe. “Oh….fuck. But….”

“Yeah, I know.”

“But who would even know about that besides me and you guys? Who even gives a shit about the Beast aside from Patricia? Has…” Fear trickled down to the base of Casey’s spine and collected there like rainwater, ready to burst at the slightest indication that she was correct. “Have you been losing time, Dennis? What about Barry, or..or…”

Dennis bent down on his haunches to face her easier. “Calm down Casey. Even if Patricia is up to something, and that’s a _big_ if because the Beast is incapacitated, we’re going to find out and put a stop to it. I’m a lot of things, but I don’t break my promises.” He was so close she could reach out and touch him, feel his heart beating through the cotton of his button up shirt, a sensation to ground her to the present moment, outside of her fears.

Something passed between them, and Dennis shifted from one foot to the other, obviously agitated. With a sigh, he stood up and rubbed at an imaginary stain on his pants. “Listen, I obviously can’t force you, but I don’t think…maybe we should sleep in the same room from now on. You and Barry, I mean. I think we’re gonna have to be on our guard until we figure out where we go from here. We need to find a place that could actually be a home, something permanent.”

In that moment, all of Casey’s apprehension exploded, decimated by a tidal wave of pure joy. He had said “we”, without even a second thought. Had he finally decided-

The sound of a panicked yell interrupted her thoughts, and she looked across the river to see the nearby children crying. The teenage girl was standing there as if in a daze, seemingly in a catatonic stupor before breaking out into a heartrending wail. "Andy! Oh my god, Andy!" It didn’t take brilliant mind to realize that one of the kid's had fallen into the water during their play.

Dennis hesitated only for a second. He couldn’t think of anything more unappealing then jumping into a river with no protection, but cold water was brutal on an adult body; he wasn’t sure how long a child could last. There was no time to rally the Beast, no time to think, he just dove in. Fortunately, the current wasn’t strong enough that it was impossible to swim, but it didn’t really matter when it felt like every cell in his body was being pierced by millions of needles. He needed to move fast before he started going completely numb, before his body started to fail him.

A tiny hand broke through the water and his heart froze. If the boy had inhaled anything in his panic, it might already be too late. Andy's head surfaced then, red hair clinging to his skull like a bloody death shroud. There was a terror in his expression that should never belong on a child and it gave Dennis a second wind to follow after him as the little boy was pulled back under the water.

He managed to grab the boy’s shirt before the current swept them both further downriver, and as Dennis surfaced he saw that not too far out was a boulder protruding from the rapids, a promise of refuge. With a powerful stroke he swam for it, free hand desperately trying find somewhere on the slick surface to hold onto, if only to catch his bearings. He was successful, but only just so as a piercing wind bared down on them. He tried to shield the boy from the worst of it, but hyperventilation was beginning to set in despite his attempts at measured breathing. His chest was growing tight; every expansion of his lungs felt like there were fingers of ice squeezing him. The older girl, a sister most likely, could be heard yelling into her phone, begging someone on the other end for help. That meant that they had to get out of there fast- a 911 call meant police, and he had little doubt his photo hadn’t been memorized by every cop in the tri-state area. Gathering up every bit of strength he had left, Dennis kicked off from the rock for the shore, but a flash of pain shot up his leg, the only indication the nerves in his limbs weren’t totally blown from the freezing cold. Instinctively he tried to pull the injured foot closer to his body but found he couldn’t, the realization that he was stuck dawning on him. He must have somehow gotten caught between some rocks while he was trying to right himself against the flow of water.

He lunged for the safety of the rock again but his hold was loose and the current yanked him forward, his injured side scraping open against the surface of the boulder. The pain was so intense he nearly blacked out, and when he got a hold of his senses, he wasn’t alone in the light.

_Dennis, what the ever loving fuck is going on now? _Ever since the stabbing, Barry had been on high alert for more shenanigans from their Guardian. As he took his place in the light, reality exploded into a smothering blanket of icy wetness and pain_._

“Help or leave,” Dennis spat out a mouthful of water, a little too overwhelmed for conversation at the moment.

_Alright, alright, I….shit_….__there was a child in their arm, WHY did they have a kid? He didn’t look right, eyes cloudy and body turning a shade of blue that couldn’t be healthy, but at least he was breathing. Barry held him tighter, trying to rally himself for the child’s sake. “Ok kiddo, hold on. We’re almost out of this.” _Dennis?_

_Just give me a sec_…__Water was condensing all over the lens of his glasses, making it next to impossible to see over the spray of the river._ We gotta…gotta get the Beast…_

_No…no, fuck the Beast! You’ve always been the biggest and strongest of us, there’s nothing he can do that you couldn’t._

This was patently untrue, but Dennis understood that Barry was just doing what Barry did best, trying to hearten him. He gave another attempt at freeing their leg, but he was fast losing feeling in his muscles. Unsure if Barry was aware of the direness of their situation, he was about to ask him to hold the light while he searched for the Beast, but something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. Casey was prowling along the shoreline, and his heart leapt into his throat. It was hard to see clearly, but he didn’t need to see to know what she was up to.

“STAY!” he snarled at her, and Casey flinched. Her body wanted to move of its own volition, unwilling remain on the sidelines while her best friend was possibly dying.

Understanding her frustration, Barry tried to coax her out of doing something risky. He spit more water out of their mouth, trying to form words over the angry river. “You’re our world doll; we need you to be safe, ok? Stay right there for me!” Casey’s heart nearly exploded. If he was trying to convince her to not come after them, he was doing a terrible job of it. Casey Cooke was no coward, she was going in.

They watched her strip out of her jacket, and the numerous ways in which she could perish then and there rushed through Dennis's mind, each one making his breath come out in shorter and shorter bursts. His foot was nearly completely numb and they were running out of time; he knew what he had to do. 

Barry picked up on his thoughts immediately. The younger alter cringed, wanting to leave and go back to the safety of his chair, but realized he couldn’t let Dennis do the hard thing on behalf of them all anymore, not by himself. Even if this was Dennis’s mess, Barry had promised him they were in this together from now on.

Dennis felt a swell of strength behind him, Barry’s presence reaching out like a steadying hand on his shoulder. _I'm still here, _Barry murmured, letting the other man know he hadn't been abandoned. The gesture gave Dennis brief pause. It wasn’t needed, but it was….appreciated. With a final inhalation he twisted their foot, bearing down on the unnatural angle until he felt a snap. There was pain, but not nearly as much as there would be as soon as their blood began flowing again. Slipping out of the rock formed vice, he swam for land, cursing to himself as he saw the older girl still on the phone. 

He limped up onto the shore and nearly collapsed as Casey paced anxiously on the other side, relieved they had made it. The teenager came rushing up to him, sobbing with disbelief and relieved Dennis of his burden, clutching the little boy tightly. “Thank you, thank you! Oh my god, I have no words." Tears streaming down her face, she looked at Dennis like he was in fact a god. "I can’t thank you enough.”

Overwhelmed with adrenaline and shaking uncontrollably from the onset of hypothermia, Dennis couldn’t respond, so Barry stepped in. “Glad I could help, doll.” he croaked, throat raw from choking on ice water, looking over his shoulder for Casey. Willing even a little bit of feeling back into his limbs, he took a few steps back towards the river, searching for a way to cross over that didn't involve getting soaked again.

“An ambulance should be here soon, just stay still, please. You..you don’t look so good.”

Barry was having a hard time thinking, his senses dulled beyond numbness, but that didn’t sound like it would end well for them. The girl turned her back so she could put her little brother down and thoroughly check him for injuries. When she finished and turned around to thank her hero again, he was gone.

* * *

Casey cursed herself for letting them meander so far out from safety as she helped Dennis hobble along back to the cabin. It wouldn’t have been anywhere near as bad if the wind wasn’t so damn brutal, but it was biting through her jacket and she couldn't imagine what it was doing to Dennis's soaked body. His gaze was unfocused and the few times he spoke he wasn’t making sense, his condition seemingly deteriorating. "Dennis? Are you still with me?" 

Training cloudy eyes towards her, he nodded but didn't otherwise respond.

"There's going to be a family tonight that doesn't cry itself to sleep because of you."

It was meant to be encouraging, but Dennis just frowned. "I still hear them in my dreams sometimes."

"Who?"

His head dropped down to his chest, shoulders sagging and Casey stumbled as more of his weight suddenly bore down on her. "My shirt is ruined...mud everywhere...gotta throw it out."

"That's fine Dennis, just...stay with me. Just a little bit longer, we're almost there."

When they got to the cabin, Casey led him into the living room and started removing his wet clothing piece by piece, half expecting him to protest. If he minded, it didn’t show, he was far too confused and exhausted to form a coherent sentence let alone argue. It's not like she hadn't seen him naked before, but it wasn't really _him_, was it? 

Immediately throwing a blanket over his shoulders to minimize any discomfort, she had him sit down while she debated on what to do next. Any sort of intense heat could be painful to raw nerves, the warming process had to be gradual. “Stay here, I’m going to make you some tea. Just…don't move.”

Rushing to the kitchen she started boiling water, kettle always at the ready thanks to Patricia and Orwell. The sound of mumbling carried over from the living room and she immediately grew concerned that he was dissociating even more. "Dennis? Are you talking to me?"

"Oh, hey babe. Dennis is gone."

Quickly crossing the distance from kitchen to living room she hopped up on the sofa alongside Barry, gently pressing her hand to his cheek. "How are you feeling?”

Bloodshot eyes stared at her impassively, but his smile could have rivaled the Cheshire Cat’s. “Dennis did a thing again, huh?” His words were slurred like he was drunk and was having a hard time focusing on her.

“You could say that.”

“Was it a good thing?”

“It _was_ a good thing. You saved a little boy, don’t you remember?” She leaned down to press her forehead to his, gently stroking the side of his face. Up close she noticed that his lips were tinged blue and she pressed warm hands to his mouth as if she could draw out the cold herself.

“Oh yeah. That's nice.” He was still clearly not cognitive, and Casey nervously watched him lay down as she headed back for the kitchen. “I remember, but it feels like hours ago. How long have I been in the light?”

“You and Dennis keep switching on and off, I think you have hypothermia. No sleeping, alright?” She glanced over her shoulder, making sure his eyes stayed open. She'd never dealt with something like this before, but she was pretty sure falling asleep was often a precursor to death. 

Barry mumbled something into a throw pillow before settling even deeper into the couch.

“Hey. HEY!” Impatient, she ran back over and started snapping her fingers by his ear, refusing to let him relax. Swatting her hands away like a cranky toddler, he sat up and pouted at her. This was getting ridiculous. The kettle began whistling and Casey went to retrieve a cup of tea for her poor boyfriend, praying it would help bring him back to some sort of normalcy.

“Casssseeeyyyy…I can’t feel my face!” He whined from across the room, then there was the sound of skin on skin contact. “Ouch! Never mind, I can feel it.”

Casey sighed as she poured some peppermint tea into the biggest mug she could find. “You’ve got ice burn all over, please stop hitting yourself.” She carried the drink back over to him and placed it on the end table. “Drink this slowly.”

Making a face like he wasn’t sure what that meant, Barry promptly forgot all about the tea. “I definitely can’t feel my feet.” He lifted the blanket up to look, as if to reassure himself he still actually had feet. “Gross, better not let Dennis see this, he’ll lose his shit.” 

Casey spared a glance herself and recoiled. They looked absolutely terrible, the skin resembled a corpse's and there was a massive lump at the location of the break on the right foot. There was no way she could set the bone herself, and if it didn’t get medical attention it probably wouldn’t heal correctly, impeding their ability to walk for the rest of their lives. There was only one person that could help, and doing so would put them all at risk. She had to bring the Beast forward, see if he could heal them. Even if….even if it meant doing something she really, really didn’t want to have to do. Truth was though, she had been ready to do it for quite a while now. “Hey Barry? Listen, do you think you can find the Beast for me? I need him to take a look at your foot, ok?"

“Oh, no shit?” He gaped at her, squinting, like he knew he wasn’t supposed to grant her request but couldn’t remember why. Lips drawing up in a snarl, he contemplated for a few seconds before shrugging his shoulders. “Ok, but don't take too long. Hey, we should get some drinks later on.”

She wondered made him say that. Guilt was eating at her for taking advantage of his impaired state, but this might be her only chance to finally get some answers about what had been going on lately, and drinks were a small thing to ask in return. “Yeah, that sounds like fun.”

“Hell yeah it does!” He leaned forward to peck her on the lips but missed and ended up catching her nose.

Casey sighed. If the Beast couldn't' help or went rogue on her, they'd be in trouble. It was incredibly dangerous to pull him into the light without Dennis nearby, but Dennis would never approve of what she was planning. Climbing under the blanket with Barry to share body heat, she waited nervously for the emergence of the twenty fourth alter.


	18. Marked and Sealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey tries to avert disaster the only way she knows how.

At some point Casey must have fallen asleep, the exhaustion from the morning’s events overwhelming her. All she knew was that one moment she was cuddled up next to Barry, and the next she was on her back, staring up at a monster.

In many ways, he’d always been her monster, and they were linked together by something far more primitive than the lizard brain impulses of sex, fear, or hunger. There was no real tenderness between them, to be sure, but there was no fear either. They both had seen hell and came back from the pit, scoured to the bone, and in that regard they were equals.

At the moment though, Casey would have been lying if she said that she didn’t find his appearance disturbing. Up until that point she hadn’t seen him,_really seen him_, since their encounter back at the zoo the first night they met. Now those bottomless black eyes were hidden behind white cataracts, and a rictus smile was splitting his face open as he reveled in the light. Casey watched as he flexed his arms and hands, as though he were unable to believe he truly had control over Kevin's body again.

After a few tense minutes, he finally acknowledged her. “Child, you have called for me and I’ve come.”

Casey remained silent, suddenly unsure of herself. She watched him take a step forward on the broken foot, cringing as it buckled further under his weight-if he felt pain, he gave it no mind. Cracking his neck, the Beast turned sightless eyes this way and that, as though they were still of use to him. “Come. Don’t hid from me, it is fruitless. I can smell you.”

“I’m not hiding.” 

“Of course not.” Grinning, the Beast took another hobbled step towards her, reaching for her hair and bringing it to his face. Inhaling deeply, he then leaned forward to lick her cheek and Casey was suddenly very cognizant of the fact that there was a naked, dangerous man fondling her.

Sensing her hesitation, the Beast frowned and moved back. “No mating signal has been given, you have nothing to fear from me,” he rumbled.

Casey’s voice was suddenly very small. “Mating signal?”

“You rut about with the Heretic, do you not? He called me forth. I had assumed you were in season and wished to mate.”

For a brief moment Casey had no idea what he was talking about. She understood the specific words he was using, but not in context or relation to her. She hadn’t been…

”Wait a minute, what ‘heretic’? Are you talking about Barry? We haven’t…” Face turning a dark red, she looked away, despite the Beast not being able to see her chagrin. How much was he aware of when he wasn’t in the light? What did all of the others know? “No, that’s not why…I’m not looking for…” She needed to get this conversation back on track, and quickly. Forget being eaten alive, she was going to die from embarrassment. “Thank you. For coming to talk to me, I mean.”

Inclining his head, the Beast acknowledged her thanks but said nothing else.

What else was she supposed to do, ask if he wanted to take a seat, or have a cup of tea? This was so weird. Instead, she gestured to his foot. “Doesn’t that hurt?”

He cocked his head to one side. “Does what hurt?”

Shit, she kept forgetting he couldn’t see. “Sorry, your foot, the right one. I’m pretty sure you have a bad fracture. It’s bent all funny.”

Growling, he picked the foot up and slammed it on the ground. Casey was pretty sure she heard a crunch, and forced herself not relive that morning’s breakfast. “No, it doesn’t hurt,” he stated matter-of-factly.

“Oh. Good.” She was still battling with her stomach, taking in deep, even breathes. “That’s why I wanted to speak with you. I wanted to know…” she took another breath, didn’t know the right way to ask a demi-god if they were weakening. Would he get angry? “Patricia said you haven’t been feeling very well,” she finally admitted.

The observation seemed to amuse him. “I am kept starved, and even the Divine must sustain itself.”

“But why is it affecting everyone else? Dennis’s nearsightedness and Jade’s diabetes don’t show up in the other alters, why is your physiology so tied into Kevin?”

There was a deep rumbling in her bones and it took Casey a moment to realize the Beast was growling. He snarled at her, furious. “You can thank the Traitor for that!” Stamping the uninjured foot to accent his rage, he huffed and heaved wordless anger but offered no further elaboration.

That answer was not what Casey expected. “What did Dennis do?”

“Betrayed me…possessed me…wounded me! Did you think I gouged out my own eyes, child?” His voice was mocking, but Casey didn’t take the bait, his choice of words running around and around in her head.

“How could he possess _you?_ Can alters merge somehow?”

The Beast found this line of questioning simultaneously boring and irritating. “Enough of your questions. I have one of my own.”

Casey nodded her assent before, once again, remembering that he was blind. “Alright.”

He hooked a finger underneath her chin so that she was staring into his ghostly eyes, and she briefly recalled Dennis mentioning that the Beast's fingers were twice the length of his own; it was fucking nightmarish. “If you are not my disciple, why do you abide here?”

“Because I love...” The words came out before she even knew what she was saying and managed to stop just in time. There was no way she would admit anything further, let alone tohim.

It didn’t matter, now the Beast understood what she was about. “Love? Love who? You ask questions on behalf of whom? The Heretic? The Traitor? The Child? What are they to you?”

“Yes, all of them, any of them! All of Kevin is important to me.” She tried to keep the pleading out of her voice, to not show weakness. It wasn't working. 

Narrowing his eyes, the Beast looked her up and down. “Especially the Heretic.”

“WHO is the Heretic? You mean Barry?”

Barry. Gods, the Beast _hated_ Barry. There were no words in the human language to describe just how much he despised the man, it could only be expressed in monstrous tongue, in growls and shrieks. While Dennis was a traitor, at least he had once bowed and recognized when greatness had stood before him. He could be persuaded once again, the Beast was sure of it. But Barry? He had fought the Horde every step of the way. Even when their numbers had swelled to include nearly half of the System, Barry would not submit, constantly pushing for Kevin to usurp their will, the will of God. The Beast would rather die than ever kowtow to that castaway. “You should not concern yourself with him, he is damned.”

None of this conversation was going the way Casey had hoped, the Beast was too full of conviction. She would plead if she must.

“It doesn’t have to be like this!” She was reaching out, holding his arms like she had with Dennis back at Raven Hill. It was doubtful affection would move the Beast like it did the others, but it was worth a try. “I don’t think you understand, I care for you too! You were right, you __can__ help people. You can show them how strong they can be, and you don’t even have to hurt anyone to do it!” She briefly looked down, feeling a little exposed. “Do you know...how you helped me?”

The question seemed to take the Beast by surprise, and he stood a little taller, nostrils flaring. “I know that you destroyed the creature that tormented you.”

“Well…not exactly. I did get him put him behind bars.”

“Hmph.” The Beast growled, unimpressed with the idea of jail. “Better still between your teeth.”

The idea of any of uncle John’s body anywhere near her mouth made her shudder. “That would never happen.”

“Then better between mine.” Then, for the first time since Casey had known him, the Beast deflated and appeared quite small. “I suffer, child. I am hungry.”

He didn’t deserve it, but compassion swelled in Casey. Taking his massive hands in her own, she asked the question that she already knew she would regret. “How can I help?”

Cloudy, scarred eyes looked down on her. “You know what must be done for me to live. Me, and the traitorous cowards whose lives you plead for.”

“I…can’t. I can’t hurt anyone the way you’re asking me to.”

The expression on the Beast's face never changed. “Then our fate is decided. If you will not bend, it is finished.”

“No! Hear me out, please. I can’t sacrifice anyone else to you, I have no right, but...” _Not too late to change your mind._ The image of Kevin's sad, haunted eyes were seared into her, those eyes she would do anything for. Her choice was already made. “I can offer myself.”

For a moment there was no reaction, and then the Beast recoiled as if she had spit in his face. “I DO NOT CONSUME THE PURE!” he raged, body prickling with the insult.

“Just…hold on.” Casey walked into the kitchen, the sound of her heartbeat deafening in the silence. Retrieving something from the fridge, she returned to the Beast and placed the bloody package before him. Opening it, she pulled out hunks of raw steak, piling it up on the brown packing paper. The Beast leaned forward to sniff at the meat and snarled his displeasure, but then Casey pressed a butcher knife into his hands. “If you need human flesh to survive…maybe I can sustain you, if even for a little.”_Or at least until Orwell figures something out._

“I do not feast on the pure, my child,” the Beast repeated, this time almost looking touched.

“If we want to get through this…we have to make sacrifices. Your ideals, my skin. I think you’re getting the better deal to, be honest,” she tried to laugh, but was scared out of her mind. “If we take some from my hip I should be ok, it won't feel too great but it is what it is. If you mix it with the steak, maybe it will be enough?" The thought made her want to heave. "Just don’t tell Barry, or Dennis...don't tell anyone! We have to keep this a secret.”

Every time she spoke their names, the Beast noticed her heart skip a beat, heard the blood rush through her veins just a little bit faster. The fact that she cared for the lesser alters over him rankled, but it was useful knowledge. Did she care for one more than the other? Perhaps he could use that to his advantage at some point. “You give of yourself willingly?”

“.…yes.”

“I accept." Already his mouth was watering, but he restrained himself for the moment. "First, come and accept my benediction. It has been too long since I have basked in the presence of the beloved broken.” Reaching out a massive hand, he waited patiently for her to draw nearer.

This was it. Approaching him, Casey knelt on the carpet, sensing this was expected of her. Pleased, the Beast reached down and reverently touched her forehead. “Life is a disease, yet the carrion god has come forth to lead his people to salvation! We strip away all that is impure so that which is left behind may ascend. Rejoice, for you are evolved! Rejoice!" His voice carried throughout the cabin, making the picture frames on the walls shake, the taxidermy tremble as though in awe of his very presence. "_Hail the Priestess! Hail the Broken! Hail the Beast!_” Looking down, he waited patiently for her response.

"Hail the Beast_." _Her voice seemed as a whisper, an echo in the aftermath of his joyful proclamations. The Beast roared triumphantly.

Reclaiming the knife, Casey knew she had to do it now before she lost her nerve. She began tentatively, but then the skin of her hip gave way to the blade's teeth, exploding in a gory blossom of blood and pain. Before she could fully rend the flesh from herself, she collapsed.

* * *

"Oh dove, they are going to be so sore with you." 

Everything was hazy and it was hard to keep her eyes open, but for a few seconds Casey was able to watch Patricia tend to her wound, packing the gouged thigh to the best of her ability. It hurt almost as much as the initial tear and pain was making her head swim. Patricia tried to soothe her, murmuring reassurances. "Believe it or not, my words still hold some sway with Dennis, I will reason with him. He will see your sacrifice for what it is, not what he fears it to be.”

Before she lost consciousness again, Casey managed to gather enough energy to respond. "What will you tell him?"

This made Patricia pause in her work, and she looked down at the younger woman, puzzled. "You did it for love, was it not?"

Yes. Yes it was. The truth was out and now everyone knew. Casey strained against the blackness threatening to swallow her, even for just a bit longer. "Then what does Dennis have to be afraid of?"

A disquieting smile played on Patricia's lips. "Well, now that you mention it, I suppose he _would_ fear your love most of all. We humans certainly are complicated animals." She wiped at the corner of her mouth, still bloody, and Casey gave herself up to the darkness again.


	19. The First Wave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patricia actually has good news? Really?  
Casey and Kevin are probably, definitely <strike>soup snakes</strike> soulmates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I feel the need to re-contextualize so many of Kevin's quotes, probably just my ego-driven need to give him that happier ending.  
By the by, I think the next two chapters are going to be fluffier than usual; I need to take a quick breather from everyone and everything bleeding all over the place and whatnot. My angst meter depletes a lot faster in adulthood then it did as a teenager, I need light in my life!
> 
> Also, you know, it's what I'm in the mood for. Hope you enjoy the ride.

Pain was the messenger that jolted Casey awake, snatching her away from dreamless sleep. As she shuddered back to consciousness, Luke was there to meet her and shushed her gently. “Don't move around too much darlin', yer all stove up.”

He stroked her hair and began chattering about nothing in particular as the events from earlier slowly coming back to the forefront of her mind. There was those scarred white eyes that were a mockery of Kevin's own, a blasphemous liturgy, everything...just...so fucked up. How much of it was a nightmare and how much was reality she couldn't say, she just focused on grounding herself into what she knew for certain was real-Luke. Luke was definitely real, she was pretty sure her brain couldn't recreate that warm southern accent and mindless cheer if she tried. 

Waiting for her to calm down before pulling away, Luke began checking his pockets for something, making frustrated faces as he came up empty in his search. “Barry went out and gotcha some…uh…shit, now where’d I put 'em?”

The burning pain in Casey’s hip was getting to be intolerable, and between that and Luke's well-meaning rambling, she was feeling the first tendrils of irritation creep up inside her. She watched only half interested as his frantic movements became more fluid and purposeful, jaw clenching as Barry took control, practically shoving Luke out of the light.

Burying his hands deep into the front pocket of their hoodie, Barry then pressed something small and plastic into her own palm. “Here doll, I didn't think over the counter would cut it. Sure hope ya know what you can handle, although in this case it might not hurt to go a bit overboard.”

Turning her hands over, Casey balked at the apparent gummy candy until she read the packaging and saw it was medical. She hesitated for a second. “I promised you drinks if you got the Beast for me, not getting stoned.” Truth be told she was never much of a user, it was counterproductive to be high when you lived with a predator that would gladly take advantage of your impaired state.

Reaching out to rub her neck gently, Barry exhaled sharply in amusement. “The point isn’t to get fucked up, it’s for the pain.”

Rolling the edible between thumb and forefinger, Casey leaned into Barry's touch, considering. Uncle John certainly wasn’t a problem anymore, so she might as well.

With no concern for dosage, she bit the candy in half immediately, gagging slightly at the overwhelmingly earthy taste. Barry passed her a glass of water with some Advil, and it was the most amazing drink she had ever had, not realizing how dehydrated she was. Draining it in a few gulps, she wiped her mouth and handed it back to Barry, who looked at her apologetically. “Do ya think you can get back to sleep? It’s probably going to take an hour or two for the weed to kick in.”

It wasn't like she had anything better to do. Reclining back onto the bed, she stared up at her boyfriend, admiring how the shadows in the room cut across his cheekbones. Reaching out to touch him, Casey traced the contours of his jawline, relishing the feel of stubble underneath her fingertips. His skin was back to a healthy glow, eyes no longer glassy and unfocused. He was a new man. “You look…so much better.”

Barry smiled warmly, trying not to look too pleased. “Hmm. Go to sleep.” He nestled closely to her as he lay down, trying not to jostle too much.

“You’re not mad?”

He huffed, breath cooling her neck. “Oh honey, I’m fucking furious. THAT is a conversation for later. Now rest.”

Casey wanted to inform him that if you needed someone to relax, mentioning you had to have a “talk” was probably the worst possible thing to do. Barry was brooking no argument though, impatiently clasping a hand over her mouth when she wouldn’t stop trying to explain her actions.

Eventually the steady rise and fall of his chest lulled her into a sense of security (he couldn’t have been _too_ angry, their bodies now tangled up together like they were one person). Despite the throbbing in her hip, she eventually drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Barry retreated from the light, letting Jade hold watch over her friend. He told her to save the rest of the edible for Casey, but wouldn't be surprised if they were lit when he got back to the light, Jade was just that kind of pain in the ass. It couldn't be helped though, things were getting out of control. He had to work this out with Dennis. It wasn't that he _was_ interested in reneging in their pact, but something had to give before one of them ended up dead.

Perhaps this was his fault-he honestly had believed that once Dennis had gotten a taste of vigilantism, he would decide it wasn't for him and he could go back to playing watchdog for the System, and yelling at Barry for not using a drink coaster or whatever. They could even volunteer for a neighborhood watch or something, and Dennis would get to feel useful, and it would have been great. But no, apparently he was really, really serious about this "crime fighting" thing, and now Casey was conferring with the Beast. Barry didn't mind risking himself by this point, but Casey's safety was non-negotiable.

Making a beeline for Dennis’s chair, he stopped when he saw it was empty. Empty, meaning he was either out near the darkness with Kevin, or….bingo. There was a commotion going on over by Jade’s area, Dennis and Patricia in the midst of a heated argument, a common sight over the past couple of months. Dennis’s agitation was apparent in his every move, gesticulating wildly at a very indulgent Patricia. Barry could have sworn she even looked a little offended at whatever it was that Dennis was shouting, which was something else. As far as Barry was concerned, her only two modes of operation were being sweet to manipulate you, and being sweet to condescend. Right now she looked vaguely upset, like Dennis had found her Beast dildo and had thrown it out in a horrified OCD fit. 

Gross. He needed to stop talking to Jalin so much, he was getting a warped sense of humor. 

Walking over to the pair as slowly as possible, Barry attempted to gather his thoughts and figure out how to dig themselves out of the rut they were in. Norma caught his eye as he walked past and she made a "he's nuts" motion while pointing at the ranting and raving Dennis. Barry just shrugged his shoulders helplessly, what did she expect him to do that he wasn't already? From the looks of it, Patricia was being the reasonable one in the discussion, and Barry had little inclination to go to bat for her whether she was in the right or not. He certainly wasn't going to go over there and drag Dennis away by his ear, the other man would curb stomp him, probably while Hedwig cheered in the background.

“Stop feeding into her fantasies! It’s bad enough that you didn’t stop the Beast from hurting her, we don’t need you helping her believe this is something it’s not!” Dennis had stopped waving his arms around like Brooklyn's most stereotypical Italian and instead stood there with his arms crossed, incensed. As usual, Patricia didn’t seem fazed by his anger.

“What’s going on?” Barry reached Dennis’s side and threw an affable arm over his shoulder, wordlessly trying to calm him. Surprisingly, Dennis didn’t brush him away, just turned to face him.

“She’s trying to insist this stunt was Casey’s idea!” He stared down Patricia, nose crinkling in disgust. “Like you aren’t responsible for trying to scare her into action! When Barry and I didn’t respond the way you wanted, you tried to manipulate Casey. There’s no WAY she would have attempted something so foolhardy on her own, she’s too smart for that.”

Barry shifted from one foot to the other, trying to displace nervous energy. “I’m glad ya brought that up. Listen Dennis, things are getting out of hand, we really need to talk."

"We ARE talking." Dennis seemed incredulous that Barry didn't seem as upset about this as he was.

Patricia interrupted. “Barry, be a dear and help me, Dennis is not listening.” Her voice was soft and warm, but there was strain beneath her words. She clasped her hands together, as though that would add an air of sincerity to what she was trying to convey. “I’m afraid the young thing has found herself quite taken with the System. She’s in love.”

A ridiculously silly grin broke out on Barry’s face, all previous concerns melting away. “Did she tell ya that?”

Dennis shot him_ one of those _looks, but Barry didn’t care, too caught up in his own flood of euphoria. Patricia nodded politely, pleased that she could share in this moment of happiness-she wasn’t a total ice queen, after all.

“She’s lyin’,” Dennis growled, still unwilling to believe.

This gave Barry pause. He was prone to thinking Patricia a skilled liar, why should this be any different? Just because it was something he wanted to hear? "I'm not saying you _are_ lying, but it is odd. I'm her boyfriend, why would you know this before me?"

Unbeknownst to the group, while they were talking Hedwig had gotten off his chair, pacing in tight circles behind them like an overanxious puppy. He wanted to interrupt, but basic manners won out, at least for now. He grabbed the back of Dennis’s shirt and pulled, hoping his idol would listen. He had overheard what Casey told the Beast, and Miss Patricia wasn’t lying. If he could convince Dennis, they would all have to believe and Hedwig would be a hero.

After a few seconds of trying, he didn’t get the reaction he wanted from Dennis, so he twisted himself up in between Barry’s legs, nearly causing the other man to stumble. Barry looked down, bewildered. “What’s going on, Hedwig?”

“Miss Patricia is telling the truth! The Beast was all”-he paused to do his best Beast impersonation, giving himself an overbite- "'why are you here?’, et cetera, and Casey said it’s cause she loves us!” 

The little group of dominant alters fell silent. Hedwig was not above telling lies to get attention, but he was still a child and couldn’t drum up enough enthusiasm to fake the pleasure that was so apparent in his eyes.

Dennis cleared his throat, at a loss. At this point it really shouldn't have surprised him, but his stomach still sank, anxiety creating a whirlpool inside his gut. As far as he was concerned, that was no excuse for what had gone down between Casey and the Beast. In fact, it made things even more dangerous.

Before he could voice his concerns, Barry grabbed Hedwig and playfully mussed the boy’s hair, practically dancing in place. “Hell yeah! Despite your best efforts Dennis, we still got it!”

Winking to show his words held no malice, Barry headed for the light, no longer concerned about renegotiating terms with Dennis. He had always considered himself rather disciplined, he needed to be to shepherd the others. Just about the only two things that could tear his attention away from something important were fashion and romance, and right now nothing else mattered other than showering Casey in affection until she wanted to puke and then fucking her silly. He did have priorities, after all.

“What do we have?” Hedwig looked to the other two adults for clarification, but Dennis was too busy despondently grinding his palms into his eyes while Patricia was all business. 

“Never mind little lamb, what have I told you about listening to Mr. Barry? He really does need to mind himself around children. Go back to your chair now.”

Hedwig did so reluctantly, turning to watch out in the distance as Barry argued with Jade about who got to hold the light. As of late Barry had received certain concessions due to his relationship with Casey, but Jade was understandably jealous of her allotted time. The argument stalled out as an unnatural hush fell over the System. Somewhere out in the darkness, they felt Kevin stir.

* * *

For the second time that day Casey woke up with a start.

Fortunately this awakening was much more pleasant then the first, and she became aware of gentle fingers tracing patterns on her arms, causing her to shiver. She stirred and the caresses stopped.

“Shit, sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.”

She didn’t need to open her eyes to know that it was Kevin sitting there, probably with a sheepish grin plastered across his face. _Oh Kevin_. Pushing herself up, the effects of the marijuana hit her hard and she immediately lay down again, head swimming. Kevin moved to cradle her head on his lap, amusement playing on his lips. “What have you been up to?”

“Oh, nothing much.”

Feeling cramped, she raised her arms above her head to stretch luxuriously, offering Kevin access to prime tickle spots, and he took advantage of this with great relish. She tried to pull her arms down but it was too late, only managing to trap his hands where they were.

“Come on, be honest,” he laughed, tickling despite her best efforts to counter him.

Casey surrendered immediately, unable to fight back in her impaired state. “Ok, ok! Barry got me some edibles, that’s it, I swear!”

“Hmmm.” Removing his hands, Kevin began brushing the hair back away from her face, untamed after hours of sleep. “What’s the occasion?”

“Uhh...” 

“Come on Casey, it’s me.”

“I…” God, she was really, really stoned, and in no condition to act the liar. “I might have let the Beast…” she trailed off to something barely audible and Kevin frowned, deciding that he didn’t need to know that badly; if it were a horrible enough revelation he might lose the light entirely. 

Uneasy silence stretched between them until Casey decided to change the subject. “It's nice to see you. What's going on?”

Kevin cocked his head, considering. “I don’t know, I don’t usually get to choose when I'm out.” Taking a moment to search inwardly, all seemed well. Much better than usual, even. “I assumed there was more drama, but I’m not getting anything from the others.”

_She loves us!_

The voice reverberated in his mind like a thunderclap and Kevin froze, unable to tell who was speaking to him or why. He frowned, wondering why this nameless voice was lying to him, because that certainly couldn't be true. So almost unconsciously he traced the contours of Casey's face, trying to find some explanation there. His hands lacked the power behind Dennis or the friskiness in Barry, but there was something altogether present in him, like he was trying to recall something important through osmosis via skin to skin contact.

Not finding it, he looked Casey directly in the eyes, hoping for some sort of sign he wasn't losing his mind. “Do you like being here? With us?”

Rolling off of his lap, Casey sat up and re-situated herself so that she could nestle under his arm. "I'd be long gone if I didn't."

Kevin snorted softly. "Not necessarily. You're a kind person Casey, I wouldn't put it past you to suck it up and stick around just because you felt obligated."

"Not obligated, you know better than that." 

_Tell her…how we feel…_

Again, Kevin couldn’t pinpoint the source of the words, just that they were coming from inside. Could it... possibly be his own voice? Had he ever had one before? When other people talked about an "inner voice", he had always assumed that he didn't have one because having an inner voice on top of multiple alters just seemed greedy. Or maybe he just didn't think about it much because it didn't matter. But if that was the case, why would it show up now? He broke his train of thought only to notice that Casey was staring at him, concern playing on her face.

"Are you alright? Was I too dismissive?"

"Nah, just thinking."

"About?"

_Tell her..._

“So..." How to even begin? He tried again. "When mom died…I thought maybe that would be the end of things, you know? Like maybe I'd finally get a chance at playing a normal person. It was so surreal, for all of us. Some of the others were ecstatic and some relieved, but I remember Dennis staying close by, like something bad was about to go down. I didn't understand, told him he could finally rest, his job was done." Kevin smiled joylessly at the memory, eyes watery.

"He didn’t say anything, there was just this... unbearable sadness, I couldn’t tell you why. I cried for the rest of the night, for no reason whatsoever. I figured it was just me releasing pent up emotions. But as time went on and nothing got better, I finally understood why Dennis was so sad-even with mom gone, nothing had really changed. He knew I would never stop needing him because there was always something else to be afraid of."

"Don't get me wrong, I tried, we all tried to make it work. I got a job at the zoo when I was nineteen, and for eight years we held it down. But it fucking hurt being in the light, and it never got any easier. Barry worked so, so hard for me, to keep my spirits up, but I guess at some point I just..went to sleep and they couldn't reach me anymore. And so Patricia and Dennis, they got sicker and sicker, and then did the unthinkable." He sighed, sinking under the weight of it ."You know where it went from there."

Casey did, but didn't understand what this had to do with them at the moment.

His hands rose to cup her face and he pulled her closer, watching a silly smile break out on her lips. God, she was perfect. Would it be right to kiss her when she was high? Maybe he should-

Immediately Casey closed the rest of the distance, meeting his lips with her own. There was a feeling in his chest that ached but didn’t hurt, and was at a loss as to what it was, what he should do, so he just clung to her for dear life. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, thumbs stroking the fine hairs at the base of his skull. His ears began to ring, drowning out the thrumming of his heartbeat, skin burning up. For a moment he was afraid he would be knocked from the light and lose out on this exquisite combination of pleasure and fear; he was clumsy, unsure, unworthy.

Then Casey broke their kiss and whispered something in his ear. He couldn’t hear what it was over the ringing, but all the same the air came rushing back into the room and he could breath easily once again. Kevin had spent his entire life stumbling around in the dark, if he had to stumble a little more to be with this extraordinary young woman, so be it. He knew that she would not begrudge him the opportunity to try.

Kissing her once more, he only pulled away to finally give an answer. "You want to know what I'm thinking? I honestly don't understand what I'm feeling or thinking, and I don't know why I'm out in the light now. But I do know I'm out and I _wanna_ be out." Tears spilled down his cheeks, but he was smiling. "It's not so bad...being in the light."


	20. The Second Wave (the day everything changed)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin experiences snow for the first time in forever  
Barry is feeling uncharacteristically insecure because Casey has been quiet about her feelings, so Casey tells him. Casey tells ALL of them.

Snow had come down in spades the night before, and Casey had woken up to an honest to god winter wonderland, the kind you never saw in Philly. It was utterly gorgeous- the sunlight reflecting off of brilliant white snow to highlight icicles hanging from barren trees, dead and dormant until spring.

Of course, snow also meant part of the day would need to be spent digging themselves out of being trapped inside the cabin (which Dennis would insist on doing), and somehow Casey didn’t think he would appreciate the quiet beauty in the same way. Not until the paths and porches were nice and tidy, at least.

She headed down to the kitchen as quietly as possible, it was still early and there was no signs of stirring from Kevin’s room. Lately Kevin and Barry had taken to sharing a bed with her, but if one of the other alters were in control come bedtime, they had a separate room (unless Hedwig came by for a cuddle after a nightmare. Casey was still suffering from her ill fated decision to let him watch_ Hellraiser_).

After making herself a quick cup of coffee and some toast, she pulled on boots and a winter jacket to get started clearing things for Dennis. He’d inevitably redo everything, but it wouldn’t hurt to get a lot of the snow moved in the meantime. Plus, it would give her the chance to stake out places for snowball ambushes, you always had to be one step ahead of Hedwig.

Once outside, she was surprised to see that Dennis was already at it, she hadn't heard a peep in the house all morning and just assumed someone else went to bed with the light. Upon closer inspection though, the figure was decidedly_ not_ Dennis, the movements too lithe and exaggerated, like whoever it was was _really_ excited to be shoveling.

“Morning!” Casey yelled out, and when he turned to look at her, she saw that tell-tale, adorable half-smile on his face. Her heart palpitated and suddenly it was too hot for all the layers of clothing she was wearing. “Kevin! What are you doing?”

“You kidding?” Driving his shovel into the snow like he was planting a flag, he gestured at the scenery around them as if it were paradise. “I can’t even remember the last time I’ve seen snow! It’s been…oh god, I don’t even know. Years, easily.”

He made his way over to her, picking his way through the snowdrifts like he didn’t know he was made of pure muscle; hopping from spot to spot like…like…

“Mr. Tumnus!” Casey blurted out, the comparison so obvious in her mind's eye.

Kevin had to think for a moment- the name rang familiar and brought back rare pleasant memories. His paternal grandfather, gone from the world too soon, had gotten him hooked on the series when Kevin was a child.

“What about Mr. Tumnus?” His cheeks were red with cold, breath coming out in short puffs. All he needed was a red scarf and little horns, Casey thought.

“You look just like him!”

Kevin took it in stride. “I don’t know, I think he has much nicer legs than I do.”

Casey snorted as she laughed, immediately covering her mouth in embarrassment, but Kevin couldn’t hide his amusement. “So is that an 'all the time' thing, or is it special just for me?”

Those were fighting words, and Casey bent down to start packing a snowball. “Keep talking Crumb, I’ve got a mean throwing arm!”

She didn’t keep an eye on him, not expecting to be tackled face first into the nearest snowdrift, and certainly not as fast as she was. God, he really _was_ a faun, and also, she was going to murder him.

She could feel him shaking with laughter as he wrapped an arm around her waist, helping her turn over. Before she could catch her bearings, he nudged his nose under her scarf, nuzzling the warm skin found there. “Kevin, you’re freezing!” she yelped, gleefully trying to extricate herself from his embrace.

“Mmmhmm, and you’re nice and warm.” Burrowing into her further, he laughed as Casey flailed and kicked, the snow he had so carefully collected falling back down on the nearby pathway. One of her legs dislodged a nearby pile, causing it to collapse and sink them further into the snowbank they were lying in. Realizing that they were ruining all of his hard work, Kevin stopped teasing, instead looking around furtively as though Dennis might pop out and scold them at any moment.

Casey lay panting beneath him, gasping for air. “Between you and Barry, I’m going to have grey hair by the time I’m twenty five!”

Kevin tore his eyes from the snow and smiled down at her. “That's ok, you’d put all the other old ladies to shame.”

“How about we just avoid the situation all together?”

Well that didn't sound like any fun. Standing up, Kevin brushed the snow off of his jacket before reaching down to help Casey to her feet. “I’ll consult with Barry, but no promises.” He tried to keep his face neutral, but the corners of his mouth were betraying him, twitching up into a smile.

Gloved hands wrapped around him as Casey pulled him in for a kiss. “You’re a jerk.”

He shrugged innocently, pressing his forehead to hers. “I’m your jerk, right? Tell me I'm yours.” The joy in his voice was so palatable it went right through Casey's heart. How could anyone have ever hurt someone so precious? Every time she got a glimpse of one of his many scars, they told her a story that was so hard to comprehend.

"Kevin, you are my jerk, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

His mouth found hers, and despite the fact that their lips were numb, the kiss left her warm.

* * *

Things between Barry and Casey had not been progressing as fast as Barry would have hoped. When he first came back into the light after Hedwig’s…revelation, he had assumed life would be all roses and candlelit dinners.

God, why did he think that? He certainly knew better, knew that declarations of love could not be forced out, teased out, or manipulated-they came when they came, and Casey was playing this close to the vest. If she had wanted to announce her love to anyone other than the Beast she sure wasn’t showing it, and in the interest of honesty, it kind of hurt.

Still, Barry had decided that this relationship had to go at Casey's own pace. It's not like she was fragile, but given the circumstances of their knowing each other, he thought it best. Besides, it's not like he was any braver. Maybe at some point he could screw up the necessary courage and tell her he loved her too, but again...didn't want to pressure her. God, what a mess.

He was torn from his thoughts when he realized he was no longer in his chair, pushed into harsh, white light. Blinking into it, he held out a hand to block the worst of the sun’s rays and looked around at his surroundings. Ah, it had snowed overnight, that explained the ridiculous layers they were currently dressed in.

The cold nipping at his skin was welcome relief, the biting air serving to acclimate him to the light faster and clearing his head. It only took a few moments of looking around to notice that whoever was in the light previously had been shoveling, and the great source of his joy and heartache was a few feet away on the front porch, trying futilely to pull a winter boot off with frozen hands. 

Walking over to help, Barry grabbed the boot (some sort of Target off brand, unfortunate) and yanked it off for her before quickly opening the front door and hustling her inside.

“Doll, why are ya undressing in freezing weather? You tryna get sick?” Barry wasn't naturally a nag, he left that to Bernice. No reason for Casey to go running around barefoot in the snow, though.

“Barry!” Casey pounced, slamming him against the door in her eagerness to hug him. “Why do you think? I don’t want to leave wet marks all over the floor for Dennis to find.”

Chuffing like a pleased big cat, Barry wrapped stiff arms around her waist, trying to work warmth into his limbs. “Dennis wouldn't want you getting sick either, a little water ain’t going to kill him. Baby girl, you’re a popsicle. Let’s get ya warmed up.”

The idea sounded heavenly until Casey remembered who she was talking to, and crossed her arms guardedly to show she meant business. “I sure hope that doesn’t involve getting under some blankets just so you can shove your cold feet on me.” She was definitely speaking from experience.

Barry made pained faces to show that he was very, _very_ aggrieved. “Why would ya say such terrible things? I’m hurt.”

"Right. That must have been some other Barry that tortured me in that very same way, oh, I don't know, last night?" Casey laughed, dodging his attempts to grab her as she headed into the kitchen. Barry hung their jackets up and followed hot on her heels, going right for the pantry.

“I'm going to make us something nice and hot,” he announced, waving for Casey to take a seat. Going from cupboard to cupboard, he opened them one by one until he found what he was looking for. “What’s your pleasure? We’ve got some Hazelnut, French Vanilla, and…have mercy, is that motherfuckin’ Pumpkin Spice? God damn, where have ya been all my life?”

Casey slid onto a bar stool, snickering. “Jade, is that you?”

“Not Jade, just a fervent acolyte of all things Pumpkin Spice." He turned to wink at her. "What’cha want, doll?”

“Can I just have some hot chocolate, please?”

Rolling his eyes exaggeratedly as he pulled out the Nestle, Barry sighed in exasperation. “You and your high maintenance ass. You’re too bougie for a simple man like me, you know?”

“I _honestly_ can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”

“That’s me, Mr. Serious. Did ya know I was Dennis 1.0? They had to start over, said I was too intense and scary to be Guardian."

"Who is 'they'?"

"Ya know..." Barry grasped at the open air with his hands, like the words would just fall into them. "The people in charge of creating alters."

"Hmm. Something about that doesn't ring true to me."

Barry whirled around, widening his stance and crossing his arms in an effort to look intimidating. Unfortunately for him, even in acting he couldn't quite nail it, musculature just too blunted by his innate gentleness. Casey could barely choke back her laughter. 

"Think that's funny, huh? That's it, I am so using you as a foot warmer."

Casey shrieked as he chased her around the kitchen table before running into the family room and diving onto the sofa, hiding under some quilts.

“GREY! HAIR! KEVIN! I know you can hear me!” she yelled from underneath the pile. He was probably riding alongside Barry at that very moment, laughing at her. It hadn’t gotten to the point where he could talk and share the light, but he was learning fast.

A small smile flit on Barry's face as he feigned innocence. “I have no idea what that means. Now stay here and warm up. I’ll get your drink, but Dennis is nagging for the light. Told ‘em that you and Kevin did a lot of the heavy lifting, but eh. Ya know how he is.”

Casey peaked out from under the blankets to make sure he wasn't trying to trick her. "You just came out.”

“I know, baby doll. That shit's gonna freeze if we don't take care of it soon though.”

Her entire morning was spent shoveling with Kevin, the damn snow could wait. “Well, tell Dennis to give you a minute, I did just spent three hours outside freezing my ass off for him.” To emphasize her point, she stood up and yanked on Barry's arm, catching him off balance as he crashed into the sofa alongside her. The surprise on his face got Casey giggling and he huffed.

“That wasn't fair!” Reaching under her sweater, he tickled mercilessly while Casey attempted to retaliate, and for the next few minutes they were a tangled mess of laughter and yelps, each trying to gain the upper hand. There was no way for Casey to overpower him, but in the past her energy and resilience had often left him panting and conceding defeat. The pattern was well played out by this point, a comfortable game they had fallen into recently-someone would be provoked, a wrestling match would break out, and then nine times out of ten the loser was subjected to orgasm.

_That_ had been Barry's degenerate idea. "Loser has to come!" he had yelled the first time it happened, pinning Casey against the bed with his body and beginning to rub her clit over top of her clothing.

Casey gasped, already starting to writhe against his touch. "Shouldn't it be the winner?"

"Nah, I've never been one for tradition." He quickly discarded her pants before pumping his fingers inside her and fucking her senseless, the apparent punishment for losing their game. Needless to say, it didn't give Casey much of an incentive to try to win, and Barry sure as hell didn't complain.

Now Casey had managed to get her thighs wrapped around his own legs, and she was surprisingly strong; he wasn't going to get out of this unless he played dirty.

"I'm thinking you're right, maybe I should get our blood flowing a bit before Dennis heads back outside,” Barry purred, biting his lower lip. It was possible Casey decided to continue to tease him, but past experience said otherwise. All he had to do was hint at what was on his mind, and she was rendered a malleable pile of hormones and sighs.

Legs tightened around his body reflexively as Casey's eyes lit up at the prospect of some fantastic oral, but she sobered quickly, unlike herself. Barry moved to sit up and she let him, releasing her death grip on his body as he took her hands in his own. “What’s wrong, baby girl?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I hope. I just…I’ve been wanting to tell you something, but every time I try to put it into words, it sounds dumb as hell.”

Barry was about to crack a lame joke about “dumb” being his second language, but he could tell this was harder than usual for her, and Casey certainly wasn’t known to hide her feelings. If she was struggling, he’d do his best to make this as easy as possible. Bringing her hands to his mouth, he grazed her knuckles with his lips, soft notes of comfort. “I’d bet anything you’re overthinking things.”

“Maybe? Maybe I should write this down and then you can just-“

“Sweetheart, you’re tripping.” He didn't know when she had gotten so shy around him, but all he wanted was for her to feel safe and comfortable. "You can tell me anything. _Anything_.”

Casey glanced down, looking at the hands that were covering hers. The alters often seemed to wear Kevin’s skin like their own, molding it to fit their personalities, but tonight Barry's hands seemed unusually large and unlike him, like massive bear paws. It made her feel small, a silly little girl trying to play house. Christ, why was it easier to talk to the Beast then it was to her own boyfriend?

“Case?” Barry was looking at her, concern etched on every line of his face. She felt like an idiot, so she just blurted out the first thing she could come up with.

“I think the Beast is jealous of you.”

That came out of nowhere. “I….what?”

“No really, dude has it out for you.”

Blinking slowly, Barry glanced around his surroundings to make sure he hadn’t just lost time. “Was I out of the light for a while?”

“No, why?”

“I thought we were talking about…I mean, that’s what’s got ya all worked up? The Beast?” He chuckled nervously- was this her roundabout way of trying to break some sort of bad news? He squirmed around in discomfort and could feel Dennis coiled around the edge of his consciousness, questioning why the younger alter was pumping their veins full of anxiety.

“I’m bad at this Barry.” She dropped her gaze, eyes looking everywhere but at him.

Barry’s heart sunk. Here he was expecting some grand declaration of love and she was trying to let him down easy. It took him a few attempts before he could find his voice. “Would it be easier if ya talked to Dennis?”

The suggestion seemed to bring some resolve back into her posture. “Is he here?”

Nodding slowly, Barry stepped aside to let Dennis in, but before he could recede completely, Casey grabbed his arm. “Don’t go anywhere, please.” She began rubbing her hands nervously, but finally looked him in the eyes, a slight smile gracing her lips. “Is there any way…is there any way I can speak to everyone at once? Kevin too?”

The relief Barry felt was almost comical. Either she was the world’s cruelest person and wanted to hurt each and every alter to their face, or he had grossly misread this conversation. Strange for him, but maybe not so strange when your heart was on the line. “Sure, love. Let me wake everyone up.” He cupped the side of her face and kissed her like he was headed off to war and not the recesses of Kevin’s mind, but the longing of it was so intense Casey’s eyes watered even after he had left to rouse the others.

In the light now, Dennis frowned as he watched a lone tear trail down her cheek. He pulled his handkerchief out to wipe it away, didn’t think he was overstepping any boundaries, just doing his job. “Casey, what’s wrong?”

"Nothing's wrong Dennis, it's the opposite of wrong. Everything is perfect."

There was no indication she was lying, so Dennis tried to relax as best as he could. Casey moved to hold his hand, and he didn't stop her. Didn't have any excuses to justify it either, just tried not to think about it. They remained like that for a few minutes in comfortable silence, waiting on Barry, Dennis gradually becoming more and more comfortable with the notion of touching not immediately causing something terrible to happen.

“Well, aside from the Beast, most everyone is here. Kevin too.” Barry was back in the light, surprised but not displeased to see Dennis relaxing into Casey's touch. “I couldn’t find B.T., but that’s not unlike him." He turned to Casey with an easygoing shrug, his eyes sparkling with humor. "I’ll just give him the Spark notes.”

“Hey Casey!” Hedwig broke through, smiling widely. “Is this about whatcha told the Beast? ‘Cause Miss Patricia was telling Mr. Dennis, and he didn’t-”

“_Hedwig_,” Dennis interjected, warning in his voice, and Hedwig quieted down immediately.

Barry rolled his eyes. “Relax Dennis. Alright everyone, shut up! Casey wants us all here, so pipe down, this is important. Clear the channels, fam.”

The sudden feeling of stage fright seemed ridiculous to Casey, but she realized she had the attention of twenty three people right now, even if they were looking at her through one set of eyes. It was like making a toast to a room full of invisible guests- she couldn’t see them but they could still judge the hell out of her.

Her reluctance was palatable and Barry squeezed her hand tighter, giving her the courage she needed. Looking into his sky blue eyes, all she could see was the man she loved, and the jitters melted away.

“I’m sorry if this was an inconvenience, but I needed you all to know something, and I think it’s easier this way,” she began, a thousand words a minute running through her head.

There was no reaction other than Barry gently dipping his head in acknowledgement, so she continued. “We obviously met under less than ideal circumstances-“

“I kidnapped you,” Dennis frowned, his jaw flexing with tension only he was feeling.

“Thanks for the play by play, but we were all there,” Barry mumbled, irritated that Dennis was already starting in with his nonsense.

“Yeah, and for the record, it WAS all Dennis and Patricia’s idea, you remember, right Case?” Jade added, not very helpfully. “The first night we met, I was trying to reach Dr. Fletcher.”

“Hey!” This was going downhill fast and Barry was not having it. “I didn’t call you all to come and do penance. Casey wanted ya here, so you’re here. It’s the least we can do.” Soft blue eyes turned to stare at Casey with such devotion she felt like her heart would explode. “Say what ya need to say, doll.”

Casey took a shaky breath; so many words were threatening to spill out and she might break open if she didn’t navigate this carefully. “Terrible things happened, things that we have to live with for the rest of our lives, and it won't be easy. But I need you all to know, I understand why you went to such lengths to protect Kevin. Not just the nasty business with the Beast, but all of it, your very existence. He is _incredible_. You all are….so incredible. I went through life thinking I had nobody, and I ended up finding _multiple_ somebodies, all in one place." This was the complete and utter undoing of herself, of any walls she still had left in place after a lifetime of loneliness, and she could feel both tears and laughter bubbling up inside her. "Meeting you was the best thing to have ever happened to me. I love you. Every single one of you.”

There was a sense of expectation in the room, like electricity right before a thunder clap. And then there was pure pandemonium.

"I told you Mr. Dennis! Wait...does this mean you're everyone's girlfriend now?"

"Oh damn Case, you're going to make me cry!"

"Wir werden Ihren Namen in unsere Haut schneiden!"

"...That's fucking weird, Heinrich."

"Guys," Barry interrupted, trying to maintain some sort of order.

"Well, bless your little heart, and I mean that!"

"Guys."

"Now that's wifey material right there."

"Casey, you've fast become like a daughter to me..."

"GUYS!"

Kevin’s body stilled, and it was obvious something was going on internally. He shuddered once, twice, and then lifted his head, eyes glistening with unshed tears. For a moment he looked a bit lost, like he had ended up somewhere he wasn't supposed to be. That couldn't have been further from the truth though, and as his gaze landed on Casey, she thought her heart would shatter with the wonder in his face.

“Hey,” he whispered, holding her close. “Everyone was grabbing for control, Barry thought it would be easiest if it were me in the light for now. You got us all shook up in there.”

That didn’t sound like a good thing to Casey. “I’m sorry.”

Kevin gawked at her. She had just changed so many lives in an instant and had no idea, not even an inkling. Who was this young woman that Dennis had snatched away and dragged to their doorstep so many months ago? 

“Oh Casey, you don’t get it.” He pulled her completely onto his lap, holding her to his chest like he could get her closer to the rest of the others that way. “You’ve taken twenty three orphans and given them a home. Given me a home. We’re never gonna be the same, and it’s more than we could have ever asked, more than we deserve. We love you too, Casey Cooke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the next chapter is going to be spicy, if you know what I mean.  
Fucking. I mean there's going to be fucking.


	21. Pierced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does Kevin want a family? Dennis contemplates the future and then gets a little silly  
Casey and Barry fuck _each other_ silly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. "Bear bear"-all apologies to CallaBee for swiping it, I can't call Barry anything else in my head anymore because it's fucking adorable and I'm not original. Go read her story if you [haven't](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21182282/chapters/50421089) yet, you're missing out.
> 
> 2\. This story is getting so damn long and I haven't even introduced the main antagonist; if I keep this up I'll have a Tolkein-sized novel on my hands. Wtf am I doing with my life? Look what you've done to me Shyamalan, I hope you're happy.
> 
> ❤
> 
> 3\. I still haven't added any art and it's like...ugh. If I were on my A-game I'd probably have like an entire comic book done by now. I made a serious mistake not being born into a billionaire family, this having a job thing just takes up too much energy.
> 
> 4\. I apologize if the formatting/editing is really off right now, not entirely sober atm. Been nursing this chapter for a while, just want to get it posted so I can write Orwell shenanigans next

Much to Dennis’s frustration, the rest of the day was a whirlwind of the others trying to come into the light to spend time with Casey. It was understandable-they had never had a sense of sovereignty before, hell, most people didn’t even believe they were real. Validation was much more healing than time, or drugs, or the multitude of other things prescribed to mending a survivor’s heart. When you had Kevin and twenty three other survivors, well, that was a lot of hurt to go around.

But nature was going to do nature, and Dennis was Dennis, and that meant nature had to go be nature somewhere else. He finally had to have Hedwig intervene and get everyone back to their chairs before it got too dark for Dennis to finish shoveling. They probably hated him for it, but so what else was new?

As he stepped outside, shovel in hand, he had to admit that Kevin and Casey did a fine job, a great job even. It just wasn’t…correct. The sides of the walkway weren’t straight; there were twigs on the porch that had fallen down during the snowfall, handprints on the back door where Hedwig had kept his face pressed, watching the sky open up the night before.

He set to his work with a sigh, trying not to think about the events that occurred earlier in the day. Casey’s words were roiling around inside his head, sticking to his ribs like the best meal of his life. He did have to admit he was happy, especially for the others; it was about time they had someone in their corner. And maybe, if someone stuck a gun to his head, he would also have to admit that it felt good knowing someone else had his back.

Of course now there was the problem of Kevin being in the light more and more often. On one hand, it felt obscene to think of it as a “problem”, even bordered on sacrilege- Kevin’s ongoing recovery was a goddamn miracle, and the sum total of everything Dennis had ever wanted.

But it also meant that Dennis would have to explain why they had been getting so banged up lately, and the thought left a sour taste in his mouth. Would Kevin understand, even encourage it? Or would he decide he was more at Barry’s speed-a normal life, with a normal job and normal hobbies, a family maybe?

Wait, _did_ Kevin want a family? It had never even seemed a remote possibility up until that point, and the idea left Dennis’s head spinning. Normalcy was the ghost that the alters told stories about around their circle of chairs, and twice as frightening as any spirit not at rest. "Could be" hurt more then "could have been", Dennis learned this a long time ago.

He tried to calm down, he was being ridiculous. Pinning those sorts of hopes on a young woman who still had so much of her life ahead of her was grossly unfair and Dennis prided himself on his practicality. Not that he himself wanted a family; the chaos and mess would be never ending. No, no, but he could see how someone as gentle and good-hearted as Kevin would-

His reverie was broken when a snowball smacked him in the arm. He was so deep in thought it barely registered, but when he looked down, there was definitely snow covering his immaculately cleaned and pressed jacket.

His inaction earned him another snowball, this time on the back. Turning around he saw Casey standing off in the distance with a mischievous smile, bright enough to light the entire damn mountainside.

God, he didn’t have time for this. “What do you think you’re-“

WHAP

Without warning two more came hurling towards him and found their target easily. 

“You’re really just going to stand there and let me hit you?” Casey called out as she bounced from one foot to the other, giddy in anticipation.

Dennis pointed to the slightly off kilter pathway that wound from the front porch to the driveway, as though Casey would be able to see just how infuriating it was, the lack of precision found there. If he could shave off just a millimeter of snow on either side...

He watched with narrowed eyes as Casey bent down to pack another snowball. Dropping his shovel, he crossed his arms, DARING her to go ahead and hit him. The look he was wearing had always done the trick to clear out rowdy, drunken customers back at the zoo, it was the one he gave Hedwig when he left his bedroom a complete disaster. It was the face of an angry god.

It was a face now covered in snow.

Dennis blinked and his tongue darted out to taste the bland mixture of ice and snow coating his jaw. Did she _really _just hit him in the face?

Casey doubled over laughing as she tried to keep her balance on the uneven ground. Calmly, Dennis removed his glasses to wipe the lenses off on his scarf, but didn’t tear his eyes away from her.

“What are you doing, Casey?” 

“First person to land ten shots doesn’t have to do the dishes!”

Dennis snorted. Like anyone else would be doing any cleaning around there.

Unperturbed, Casey shrugged. “Fine, stand there and let me win then!” She took aim and hit him square in the shoulder.

Now he might have been remembering incorrectly, but Dennis was pretty sure there was never a point in his life where he had the opportunity to win at anything. Of course that also meant that he never lost either, but that never did much to stop him from feeling like a loser.

Something twisted in his gut and he knelt down to grab a fistful of snow.

Casey’s eyes widened when she realized her challenge had been accepted before breaking out into a run. “No cheating, no Beast!” she yelled over her shoulder, just barely dodging an incoming snowball. She was much closer to the front side of the house and the driveway, if she made it to solid ground first she would have the upper hand. Her ears were perked, on alert for any sound or sign of perusal, but aside from the crunch of snow under her own boots it was quiet.

“Dennis?” she panted, whirling around to look behind her as soon as she reached the driveway. There was no indication there was anybody else around, not even tracks in the snow trailing her. A shiver snaked its way down her back, half from the cold and half from anticipation. Where the hell did he go? Did he trick her? Was he inside right now, getting warm and watching her run around like a lunatic?

A slight creak from above was the only warning she got before she was utterly pummeled by a man made snow storm. Squeaking, she covered the top of her head and looked up to see Dennis standing above her, perched on the garage roof.

Her eyes widened with indignation. “I said no cheating!”

Dennis smirked. “You think I can’t climb without the Beast’s help?” He readied another snowball and Casey moved flush to the garage door and out of his line of sight, looking around desperately for an avenue of escape. She could hear him stomping around above her, waiting patiently for his chance to strike. The massive lawn in front of her was now a snow covered field, and the forest beyond didn’t offer much coverage now that the leaves had fallen. There weren’t many options available to her.

“Ok, ok, How about a truce?” she yelled up, and she could have sworn she heard him chuckle.

“Do I win?”

“Yes! You win Dennis. I’ll do the dishes tonight.”

There was no response so Casey chanced a peek up at him and she could see him making faces of distaste. “Ok fine, what do you want?”

He hesitated for a moment as though listening to something, and then turned his attention back to Casey.

“Hedwig and I have decided that winning is too much fun,” he informed her gravely, although his eyes screamed amusement. “We want you to keep running.”

All she was afforded was a quick wink before he disappeared from sight, clearly making his way back down to ground level. Far from feeling threatened, Casey took off running for the forest, trying not to trip herself up in her laughter.

* * *

“God, my back is killing me. Can you please explain to Dennis that snowball fights are supposed to be a game and not actually war?” Casey complained to Barry later on in the evening. They were holed up in the master bedroom, the one that Casey had claimed for her own a few months ago, getting ready to settle down after a long day. 

Barry grimaced as he tried to get some kindling in the fireplace to ignite. Apparently Dennis played _hard_. “Sorry baby girl, the man isn’t really used to games. Not outside of the System at least."

"Not outside of the System? Do you mean..." Casey trailed off, letting her imagination take over. This bit of information was intriguing. “You guys can play together? You see each other? Like you can see me right now?”

“I mean...yeah. You really didn’t know?” This surprised Barry. How else did she think they interacted if they couldn’t see each other?

“No, I had no idea! What's it like? In your room with the chairs, I mean? What does everyone look like?”

Barry attempted to answer but Casey wasn't really paying attention, endless combinations of features and profiles flashing through her mind. Did Orwell look like a typical college professor or Indiana Jones, or maybe something else entirely? How did Jade wear her hair? Did Hedwig have all of his teeth? “Describe every alter to me, I want to draw each one of you!"

"Well, I'm not sure where I should sta-"

"Oh my god, wouldn’t that be a perfect Christmas gift for everyone?” Her eyes were shining at the idea, a picture of benevolent glee. "Do you think they would like it?"

A lump formed in Barry’s throat. “I think,” he grinned, standing up to wrap her in his arms, “that might actually kill us from happiness overload.”

Casey nearly squirmed out of his embrace, wound up in her excitement. “Let me go get my sketchbook, we can start right now!”

Barry refused to let go, instead lashing her to the ground with something heavy in his gaze. “I’ll help ya for sure, but I was hoping we would spend the night doing something a little more “us” and a little less…“them”.

“Oh?” Casey’s mouth suddenly felt like it was full of cotton. “Did you have something specific in mind?”

“Mmmhmm. Let me take care of those sore muscles while I elaborate,” he whispered, breath hot on her neck as he moved to gently bite her ear.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later Casey was laid out prone on some towels, Barry at her side with a warm bowl of sunflower oil. His touch was orgasmic and had the control of an artist, knowing where to stroke and how much pressure to use. Between the massage and crackling of the logs in the fireplace, Casey was fighting hard to stave off sleep.

Overtired but not yet wanting the night to end, she talked aimlessly, trying to keep her brain as stimulated as her body was. “You're the best friend I've ever had. I wish we were attached at the hip sometimes, you know?” she mumbled into the crock of her elbow, words punctuated with small groans of pleasure as Barry rubbed her shoulders.

He didn’t know if that was meant to be erotic, but felt himself getting turned on all the same, could think of some other places where he'd like to be attached. Before he could say as much, Casey hit him with a hell of a question.

“When were you born, Bear Bear?”

Time suddenly seemed to freeze inside the cozy room. It was the one question so many alters hated to answer because it was a harsh reminder that no matter how hard they tried, this was one way in which they would never be “normal”. He paused in his ministrations, trying to pull himself together. Obviously Casey didn’t mean any harm, so he tamped down on the sour taste of grief rising in his throat.

“Couldn't give ya an exact date. First few months of an alter's life tends to be...dicey. Hazy. I don't know why, but Rakel has some theories." In his weakest moments, sometimes Barry was afraid that was all they were: theories, a thesis for medical papers...phantoms.

"Huh. Kinda like a newborn?"

Barry made a noncommittal noise. It's not that he didn't want to answer, he just didn't know how.

That didn't satisfy Casey's curiosity. "Well, what's the first thing you _do_ remember?"

"That kids are viciously cruel." His voice sounded so, so small. "There was only so much even someone like Dennis could handle. It was too much, being beaten at home and at school." He paused for a moment, absentmindedly staring into the fireplace. The rush of bad memories flooding in almost surprised him with the amount of venom they still carried. "Not to mention the endless mockery. Kevin was suicidal. The System needed someone to navigate THAT fucking minefield. That would be me."

His explanation was clipped, terse, a little sad. The warmth felt like it was being sucked from the room, and Casey was beginning to regret opening her mouth. "So....were you able to make Kevin some friends?" she asked lamely. 

They both knew the question was laughable and Barry grinned, raising an eyebrow. At least he was smiling again.

"Friends, dates, parties..." He walked his fingers up her ribs, poking for emphasis. "No one seemed to question why Kevin was a different person going into his freshman year of high school." He shook his head, smiling at something only he could see. "Kids, right? We actually managed to have some good times. I was able to sneak off to prom junior year, probably one of the best nights of my life. Of course, Kevin’s mom found out about it when a classmate’s mother posted photos online. She was...tight. Doubly so since I took another boy as our date."

There was a pregnant silence and now Casey found herself fully awake, heart aching. "I'm so sorry, Barry."

If he heard her he didn't acknowledge it. "Five minutes after getting her hands on me, I had three cracked ribs and a broken nose. Dennis wouldn’t let any of us back into the light for a few weeks afterwards.” Leaning down so that his forehead met the back of her neck, he nuzzled into her, the scent of mango on her skin calming him. “When he finally stepped aside, I could count twelve different scars on our body that weren’t there before.”

Some oddly perverse need persuaded Casey to sit up and look. She lifted his shirt, pressing her fingers against the spots of white scar tissue on his stomach as if seeing it all for the first time. Moving her hands lower, they came to rest on his lap, and she could feel his cock twitch underneath her fingers. A wave of lust mixed with sorrow stabbed at her, but she knew more than anything that Barry hated pity, so that only left her with the former.

Before she could act on the impulse Barry gently pushed between her shoulder blades, forcing her back down to the ground. "Why is this on your mind, doll?"

Casey moved to shrug but thought better of it, trying to remain relaxed. "I know so much about you, but very little about your childhood."

"Probably for the best, babe."

She couldn't see his face but weariness was evident in his voice, and it was obvious she had drudged up some long buried issues within the happy-go-lucky man. "People are always unloading on you, don't you ever want to talk about what's bothering _you_?" 

"It's part of the job. Believe me, I got off easy compared to some of the others."

Casey could buy stoicism from Dennis, but Barry was an open book. His reluctance to fill her in was strange, but it wasn't her nature to be pushy. "I'm always available to listen. If you want me to, I mean," she offered, willing to drop the subject but still needing him to know that he was cared for.

The only sound in the room was the popping and sparking of flames, and beneath that a quiet sob, or a sigh. Barry murmured something unintelligible under his breath and for a moment Casey thought he was losing the light right up until he spoke up again.

"Will you look at me, love?" Theories, medical subjects, phantoms...whatever. Tonight, Barry was feeling fully human and liquid heat was flooding his bloodstream.

There was something in his voice that Casey couldn't place, but she acquiesced and strained over her shoulder to see him. The fire threw flickering shadows over his face, but his hands were dripping oil, slick and wet, so reminiscent of all the times he had pulled his fingers from inside her after making her scream and her legs tremble. The memories burned hot through her lower body and she squeezed her thighs tight, trying not to get ahead of herself.

Barry noticed and suddenly flipped her onto her back, moving to straddle her. Dipping his head to meet her mouth, he kneaded her breasts with oil soaked hands, nipples slipping between his fingertips and sending shocks of pleasure throughout her body.

"God, you are so fucking beautiful,” he purred, noticing with satisfaction as she arched her back, pressing deeper into his hands. "I want to to make you come around my cock." He was hard against her stomach, and the scent of his skin, the warmth coming off his body was making it almost physically painful to not have him inside her.

_Still_...

There was no denying fear was clawing at the back of her mind-fear of flashbacks, fear of pain. There was no point in lying about it, he would see right through her; they were both survivors, complications were a fact of life.

He recognized the war going on behind her eyes but remained silent, continued stroking her, letting her make her choice without any pressure on his end. Never in the time she had known him had Barry ever violated her freedom or her sense of well being. She knew she was safe here, underneath him. This was nothing like with her uncle, this was world’s away-_galaxies_ away from what she had known all of her life. Reaching up, she yanked gently at his Varvatos V-neck, indicating she wanted his shirt gone.

He obeyed immediately. "You're my heart and soul, baby girl," he confessed, voice thick with emotion. "I know I'm not the O.G. here, or as strong as Dennis, or one of the super smart ones...but whatever I am...I love you with all of it."

The words nearly knocked the breath out of Casey.

“I’ve never actually had sex with someone who cares about me,” she whispered, more to herself than to him. She began lightly trailing her hand from his collarbone down to his navel, again and again, as if she were trying to stir a fire that was already raging hot and threatening to spill out.

Barry understood the feeling. Finding someone willing to take a chance on a relationship with him was...regretfully difficult. He was too into fashion to be considered a "real man" by an alarming amount of women, and too comfortable with eating pussy to be a safe bet by the gay community. At best he felt like a fun distraction, an option for a good company and an even better time in bed, but little else. To love and be loved in return was more of a pipe dream then anything else.

Casey's actions jolted Barry out of self pity and he watched, transfixed, as she moved to unbutton his pants. "I love you too. I love all of the System, but I don't need them like I need _you_. I want to be a part of you, Barry.” If only he could experience the intense ache inside her, the hunger. The only way the feeling could possibly be made right was if every cell in his body invaded her own, a baptism only he could preform. Casey didn't want, she _needed_.

Fuck, that made him hard, and his head started swimming. He understood what she needed from him and he solidified his hold on the light. Later on, the others could continue to take their turns, say anything that needed to be said, but tonight was for him. He wasn’t there as ambassador for the System, he was there as Barry, his own fucking person, and that’s how she saw him. Not a fantasy, ghost, or fragment of a broken man, but as a person.

They removed the last bits of clothing from each other and Barry perched on the side of the bed, his cock hard and inviting as he stroked it softly, waiting with quiet desperation for her warmth.

Instead of laying besides him, Casey straddled his lap, slowly lowering herself and gasping at the slight burn as he entered her. She wanted to wrap her legs around his sides but the position already left her uncomfortably full. Barry leaned forward, wrapping his arms around her back to help support her, shuddering as she spasmed around him. “Are you alright? Want me to lie down?” he whispered in her ear as her her nails dug into his neck.

Casey wordlessly shook her head and sucked on her bottom lip while waiting for the discomfort to pass. They remained still for a few moments, forehead to forehead, until Barry reached down to touch her clit, hoping to help her ease into him.

After a bit of coaxing, she was relaxed enough to fully take him inside herself, and she began rocking as he continued to rub her in agonizingly slow patterns. Delicious tingling turned into a spark, and then an inferno. She bit down on his shoulder to muffle her cries of gratification, the salt on his skin dancing on her tongue. As hormones flooded her body, she fixated on the freckles of his nose, offhandedly wondering why she never noticed them on the others before and tilted her head up to place soft kisses all over his face. The intimacy of their position was perfect, but when Casey gazed into Barry's eyes she saw pupils blown out with lust, making them so much darker, hungrier. Something wild and ravenous rose up inside her, and she shoved him backwards onto the bed.

Feeling more than thinking she rode him hard, had her fill of him; the Beast could not devour someone as completely as she consumed this man. His hips rose to meet her, thrusting again and again as the beginning signs of orgasm started to slip their way into her nerves. Barry's chest heaved, muscles straining through his skin as he panted heavily. He looked good enough to eat, and Casey licked at the sweat that was trickling down his temples to his throat, enjoying his rumbling groans of bliss against her mouth. 

Wishing to draw their experience out longer Barry rolled them over so that he was on top and planted his feet firmly on the ground, ready to fuck her into the mattress. He let out a playful growl when she moved to touch herself, too caught up in ecstasy to wait while he adjusted their position. He wasn’t greedy, but what was his was his, and her orgasms belonged to him.

"Always so impatient, even when you know I'm going to take care of you," he chided a desperate Casey, lining them up again so he could continue to make her toes curl.

He played her body to his liking, knowing where to touch, how to touch, and turn her into a keening, begging mess. The heat from their body friction turned the sunflower oil on their skin liquid and sticky, and their movements became more frantic and less controlled as Barry's hold on her hips started to slip. Soon he was grasping everywhere he could to keep pace inside of her. He was everywhere- surrounding her, covering her. Everything was wet and hot, the only sound in the room their gasps and murmurs of affection. 

At some point he began thrusting so hard that the side of the bed banged up against the bedroom wall, shaking it so that a boar's head mounted above the fireplace started vibrating. It only took a few more thrusts before one side came loose and swung downwards, just barely held in place. In between the rush of endorphins and the absolute ridiculousness of that fucking taxidermy, Casey felt hilarity begin to build up inside her stomach before she broke out laughing.

Barry glanced behind his shoulder to see what gave her a fit of giggles and he started snickering himself, but the laughter was causing her to clench around him in a way that felt so, so good. "Baby doll, if ya don't stop I'm not sure I can keep this up much longer," he panted.

For whatever reason this pushed Casey into another round of laughter, and Barry huffed, intent on getting her to come before she dragged him over the edge. He pulled out and placed one of her legs over his shoulder, then steadied himself on one arm and traced the delicate skin underneath her knee before sinking into her again.

Casey's laughter was cut short as another wave of pleasure followed his entrance, the angle so much deeper. She grasped at the bed sheets above her head as she slowly began losing the ability to think in coherent sentences. It wasn't much longer before her orgasm overtook her, and Barry wasn't far behind, pumping his hips steadily into her as he found release.

He collapsed on top of her as they dissolved into a ball of sighs and giggles. Then the stupid boar fell to the floor with a thud loud enough to wake any neighbors within a one mile radius. They lost it completely, tears of laughter mingling with sweat as they tried and failed to catch their breath.

Sleepy and satisfied, Barry moved to lay on his back and wrapped an arm around Casey's waist. "So what's this about the Beast being jealous?" he asked, fighting off a yawn. He didn't particularly give a shit what the Beast did or did not think, but he had to admit a small amount of his pride had been stoked.

This was not Casey's idea of great pillow talk, but she supposed it might be a good idea to fill Barry in. "He seemed offended I've chosen to...be with you." She wasn't going to tell him about all the religious word vomit that had been spouted as well, it didn't seem necessary.

"Ya don't say." 

While she shared Barry's amusement, Casey couldn't help but feel a little uneasy "I don't think he's all human, Bear Bear. He might not be supernatural, but he's not...natural, either."

Barry stroked her face, trying to hide his smirk. It made sense for Casey to be concerned, she wasn't inside of Kevin's mind with the rest of them, couldn't see how thoroughly beaten and broken the Beast was. One day she would, but until then he would placate her concerns. 

Rolling onto his side, he pulled her closer, knocking their hips together. "Here, I'll prove it to you. Wanna make him even more jealous? I bet ya nothing will happen."

Casey sighed, wanting to scold him for being so blase; it certainly hadn't done them any favors up until that point. Unfortunately, an even bigger part of her wanted to ride his beautiful, cocky face all night long. "Fuck the Beast," she conceded, canting her hips into his thigh.

Barry winked at her. "Fuck the Beast."

* * *

Inside the unseen darkness of Kevin's consciousness, the Beast laughed humorlessly. 


	22. Effigy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit is getting really weird, just in time for the holidays! Orwell comes in with the esotericism (and a warning) and it just gets freakier from there.
> 
> Oh, and Luke pops up. Hi Luke!

As the days grew shorter and nights longer, Dennis took up a majority of the daylight hours, spending his time prepping for power outages and snowstorms. Making sure they had plenty of perishables, a backup generator, and water was top priority, and soon the house was full of organized lists and notes that he left behind to remind himself of what still needed to be done. Casey found it all to be a bit excessive if she were honest; they were in Pennsylvania for god’s sake, not Minnesota.

When Dennis wasn’t around, usually B.T. or Norma held the light. Their apparent one and only goal was to get ready for the holidays, and soon their lists began to rival Dennis's in size. Casey found it odd that they were already planning for Thanksgiving while it was still a week away, but Barry explained how ecstatic they were to now have a tiny family to make a proper holiday meal for, and Casey certainly couldn’t begrudge them that. Despite Dennis asserting it _wasn't_ in their dwindling budget, B.T. insisted on having a turkey for the occasion, and he spent a day in the kitchen with Casey showing her how to prep vegetable stock and cranberry sauce. She wasn’t much of a cook, but the experience was memorable all the same, and not for the first time she wished she still had a camera to capture the System's antics. For whatever reason B.T. seemed to get more food on himself then in the pans, although it didn't stop his edible creations from being delicious.

Even though the sunlight brought with it its own pleasures, night had fast become her favorite time of the day. That was when Hedwig came out to play, or she and Jade could catch up on their television shows. She would spend hours talking about her dreams and goals with Kevin, their fingers entwined, or Barry would show her how to draw the folding on clothes so that it appeared more realistic in her artwork. Sometimes when it was coldest they wouldn't even get up from their cozy nest of blankets on the floor, falling asleep tangled up together in front of the fire's warmth.

Perhaps most distinctively, three days a week Orwell would bundle up and head down the mountainside into town, spending hours at the library trying to find any sort of lead into the issue of the Beast. He poured over the psychology and religious sections, even dipping into folktales and myth. At night he would come back home with armfuls of books and spend more time in his study; Casey would listen to him from the living room as he scratched away at his notebooks, deep in thought.

So when she nearly ran into him one evening while coming out of the kitchen, she wasn’t surprised to see him there, nose in a book. She veered to avoid a collision and instead hit the door frame, yelping as she bumped her forehead and startling the man. He gaped at her apologetically through his owlish lenses. “Oh lord, I am so sorry. Look at me moving around like a crazy eccentric. To be honest with you, I’m still not used to living with another person.” Adjusting his glasses, he circled around her and gently palpated her head to check for bumps. “Are you alright?”

The concern in his voice made Casey’s stomach drop, although she was more interested in what held his attention so fiercely. “Yeah, I’m alright. But what are you reading that’s so interesting?”

Instead of answering her question, Orwell offered his arm and walked them over to the study that also functioned as a game room once upon a time. The bulk of the taxidermy was showcased there, along with a pool table and a large mahogany desk placed against the back wall, surrounded on either side by bookcases. Orwell’s notes were strewn all over the surface of the desk, obviously having made himself quite at home. He let Casey pick a seat before taking his own behind the desk. “I have been meaning to speak with you about something, if you don’t mind.”

A jolt of excitement rushed through Casey, had he found a cure? “Did you do it? Were you able to figure out how to keep the Beast from starving?”

Orwell held up a patient hand to stem the tide of her questions. “I certainly do want to discuss my ideas with you, yes. But I fear there may be a more pressing issue now, and I would be remiss if I didn’t at least bring it to your attention.”

Oh good, another problem. They hadn’t had one of those for at least a few hours, this would be an nice change of pace. Casey bit back her sarcasm and nodded for Orwell to continue.

“Did you know that after the Beast emerged, the Horde’s numbers swelled to eleven?” Orwell paused, giving Casey time to let the weight of his words sink in.Twenty three separate identities had been birthed to help protect Kevin, and nearly half defected to follow the Beast.

But surely it wasn’t quite that dire? Casey would not give in to negative thinking so quickly. “Sure, but Dennis renounced the Horde, and Hedwig is only a child! Luke is a bit of a follower, and Jade, well…who doesn’t make mistakes as a teenager?”

“You have such a good heart, Casey.” Orwell smiled bashfully, a little reminiscent of Kevin. “I’m not trying to turn you against your friends, I just need you to know who may be implicitly trusted if the Horde is ever on the move again. Those who, even when it was most dire, refused to leave Kevin’s side. If the Beast dying is a catalyst to our own death, I can imagine there would be more than a few alters that would do anything to stop it. _Anything_.” His eyes narrowed behind his glasses, no doubt contemplating the fate of previous "sacred food". "These recent developments have me concerned, and I'm sure the Beast won't go quietly, no matter how cowed he appears to be."

This was an uncomfortable turn of events, especially after all that had gone on the past few days. Casey felt more than a little blindsided. “You think I’m being too trusting?”

Orwell sighed, clearly torn on how to answer. “Please don’t misunderstand, I don’t have any evidence to support my fears, not yet. I may very well be wrong. But history has shown us time and time again that those who come into illegitimate power are loathe to relinquish it. We must tread carefully, my dear.”

Considering betrayal to be even a remote possibility was a painful proposition. “Who do you think is…well, trustworthy?”

“Aside from myself and Barry, you have the twins, Heinrich, Felida, Ansel, Mr. Pritchard, Kat, Rakel, Bernice, and Samuel." Orwell listed their names off slowly like he wanted them seared into her brain. "I hope you keep this in mind should you ever find yourself needing to turn to someone besides myself.” He paused for a moment, considering as he flipped through the pages of a thick notebook. “You have spoken with Barry about this, yes?”

“Yeah, Bear Bear…” Casey flushed. “I mean, Barry. Barry knows.”

Orwell tried unsuccessfully to hide a smile. “Excellent. Now then, do what you will with my advice, your instincts have not lead you astray yet. However, I could not rest easy until I had been honest with you.” He reached out for her hand, the weight of it fatherly in its presence. “I realize this wasn’t the good news you were looking for, and I hope you don’t hold it against me.” There was a sigh to his voice, and such sadness in it that Casey could not doubt his sincerity.

She smiled. "Of course not, I know you only ever mean the best."

"I am grateful for your limpidity, my dear."

As soon as Orwell left, Casey was going to have to look that up. And while she was happy to have some more insight into what he had been thinking, she noticed someone conspicuously absent from his list. "But what about Dennis?"

The silence that stretched on between them left her squirming in her seat before Orwell rubbed the bridge of his nose in defeat. "I'm afraid I'm just not as forgiving as you are, Casey." He withdrew his other hand from her and reclined back into his chair, clearly saying all that he was willing to. Casey frowned but kept further comments to herself. "Now onto other matters. I’ve been giving much thought to our problem and have come up with my own set of protocols we might try. Although, I will be the first to admit some of the solutions may be...fairly unorthodox.”

Most of their life together up until this point could have been described as “unorthodox”, but the look in Orwell’s eyes told her it was much more than that. “Why do you say that?” She tried to keep her voice light, but couldn’t keep the tremble out.

Selecting a thick, black tome from the desk, Orwell then held it to his chest like a talisman. “I mean they are very drastic measures. I’m not sure we have much choice, do we?”

Dread came cascading over Casey in waves. “You don’t mean hunting ‘sacred food’ again, do you?”

Orwell nearly dropped his book. “Good lord, no! Surely you have more faith in me then that?”

Despite the fact his voice was not unkind, Casey still blushed. “Sorry. The whole situation has me on edge.”

“Oh, I understand the feeling. The idea of slowly wasting away does tend to make one nervous. That is why, well…” he trailed off, clearly a little uncomfortable, unsure of himself. “My dear, I believe we should attempt an exorcism.”

Casey blinked. “Am I supposed to be laughing?”

Her question remained unanswered and Orwell got up from behind the desk, opening the book to a specific passage and laying it out in front of her. She leaned over to read it."Invocation of the Headless One," she recited out loud, looking up to Orwell to see if he was smiling and this was all a joke. He was not. "Who is the Headless One?"

"No one can say for sure. He is 'Akephalos', that is all we know. Perhaps Osiris, or Ra, or maybe even Yaweh; possibly a combination thereof."

Bringing in pantheistic gods to an exorcism was something Casey had never heard of before, although she certainly couldn't claim to be an expert. “Aren’t you supposed to use Mary and Jesus or something?”

“We’re not Catholic.”

This was a bit much. "You think the Beast is a spirit possessing Kevin? Orwell…” she wasn’t sure how to phrase this delicately, afraid of offending the well-read man. “Does any of this seem even remotely possible to you?”

Instead of being upset, he just gave her a strained smile and closed the book she was reading with a dramatic clap of his hands. “Two years ago I would have agreed with you. Now...well, let's not mince words, I'm stuck in the body of what's practically a werewolf. I don’t know _what_ I believe anymore, but I do know that my tolerance for entertaining outlandish ideas has greatly expanded as of late.”

Well. He did have a point. 

Before they could continue the conversation, the doorbell rang. The noise was so unexpected it felt like a gunshot or a bomb went off in the room and the pair froze, holding their breath. A silent exchange took place between them with gestures and facial expressions, both clearly unsure of what the best course of action was.

After a few minutes of tense silence, Orwell indicated he was no longer alone in the light, and then his eyes fluttered backwards before he picked Casey up and twirled her around.

“What a beautiful day for an exorcism!” Luke, no longer Orwell, greeted her, bursting with energy. "When I heard ya'll talkin' exorcisms, I was fixin' ta come out; I love that movie! But man oh man, nerd boy did NOT want to give up the light!"

"Shhhh!" Casey frantically smacked his arms, trying to squirm free as he held her tightly to his chest.

"What's wrong, darlin'?"

Luke frowned when she refused to answer, just kept pointing towards the front door in earnest. He let her down gently and turned to go check it out, but she pulled at his arm, shooting him a look.

"Don't. Move," she mouthed silently, but Luke just waved her away.

"Aw, come on, it's probably just the Postman or somethin'. Relax."

Casey would not relax. She dug her nails into his arm, letting him know she meant business, and he pouted but stayed put.

After a few more minutes passed and there were no other sounds, Casey cautiously crept up to the front door, motioning for Luke to stay behind. If a neighbor or the police had stopped by to question their presence, they did not need his big mouth involved.

When she got to the window and looked, she almost wished it had been the cops.

Outside on the front porch was a nightmare that had to have been dreamed up by some sort of feverish iconoclast. Three large, dried skulls of a massive carnivore were lying out on a block of ice, connected at their bases by a single long spine. Each skull had the strange looking sigil from before carved into the bone, and the center skull’s mouth was pried open to show off wicked looking teeth. Impaled thereon were the bodies of three baby rabbits, entrails still leaking out from their egregious wounds. Casey tried not to retch; they had to have been killed recently.

Turning back to Luke, she waved her friend over and then opened the door before she lost her nerve. If someone went through all this trouble to scare them, she doubted her life was in immediate danger. Not yet, at least.

It looked even worse up close, and it was Barry who was at Casey’s side in an instant, throwing a protective arm over her shoulder while she stared up at him with wide eyes, searching for answers.

“Do you know what kind of animal that is?” She pointed towards the middle skull with a socked foot, only belatedly realizing she was freezing.

Barry's mouth twisted into a scowl. “Looks like a lion’s skull. One of the vets at the zoo kept one from a favorite lioness that had passed on a few years ago. They aren't exactly easy to come by.”

“I’ll get Heinrich; he loves this kind of creepy bullshit,” Luke volunteered, wanting to be helpful in the worst possible way.

“Luke, wait!” Barry hissed. The last thing they needed was a panic on their hands, and the biggest loud mouth in the System being there as witness to this was already complicating things enough.

If Luke heard Barry, he promptly ignored him, and Heinrich was soon in the light alongside the other two men. “God…what is this?” he asked, breathing a little too heavily. The boy was indeed into “creepy bullshit", lived for it, really. He was also only seventeen years old, and Barry could have killed Luke for exposing him to this fuckery.

“I dunno, you’re supposed to tell us, hombre.” Luke admitted, scratching their head. The moron was more puzzled then frightened, and Barry was convinced that if Luke hadn’t been a part of the System, he would have gotten himself killed by playing in traffic long ago.

There was a tense few seconds of absolute quiet while the younger alter nervously studied the effigy. “The ice…three heads and three victims…ice was Lucifer’s punishment in the Divine Comedy,” he finally concluded.

Barry nodded his head in agreement, memories from high school flooding back to him. With the memories came a realization and all the blood drained from his face. “Lucifer was located in the ninth circle of hell, right? The level meant to punish traitors.”

Silence reigned over them until Casey thought she would explode from anxiety and couldn't take it anymore.“They’re not Catholic!” she yelled out into the forest, as if this were all a joke and she needed to let the unseen pranksters know it was all for naught.

“Babe, what the hell?” Barry was wide eyed and slightly breathless, the LAST thing he wanted to do was catch the attention of whatever had left this for them.

Luke, of course, remained nonplussed. “Hold on there, I’m Protestant. That’s a sorta Catholic, right?”

“You’re not a Protestant, you’re a noodle,” Barry growled, rolling his eyes. He bent down even closer to the grotesque idol, eyeing the sigils like he might catch a disease. “Catholics are Christian, but not all Christians are catholic. Not to mention Protestants were the ones to originally break away from the Catholic church.”

Heinrich snarled under his breath. “Du bist eine arschgeige. What… Christian teams up with a _fucking_ cannibal Beast?” His annoyance thickened his accent, making it harder to understand.

Luke scoffed. “Hey now, this is America, we speak English here, Herr Spooky.”

“Sei mehr ein Klischee."

Casey was getting a headache from all of the back and forth. “Guys, I don't think any of that matters right now.”

Barry began pacing, agitation infecting his normally relaxed stride. “I’m getting Dennis. You two either go back to your chairs or pipe down, and for god’s sake, keep this to yourselves. If Kevin finds out, I’ll tell Norma who snuck into the fridge and ate her pumpkin pie before Thanksgiving dinner.” He paused for effect. “_Luke_. I’m talking to you, Luke.”

“Now ya’ll are gangin’ up on me, it’s not right,” Luke sniffed. 

One thing that Barry always appreciated about Dennis was that the man was constantly vigilant and it was easy enough to grab his attention without making a scene in front of the others. As soon he came into the light and saw what was on their doorstep, he immediately took control.

“Barry, keep Kevin away. If he sees this…” Dennis didn’t need to give voice to his fears; they all knew what a fresh trauma could do to hurt Kevin’s recovery. “Take gossip boy and Heinrich with you while you’re at it.”

More than a little annoyed with the name calling, Luke was about to protest again before Heinrich unceremoniously dragged them both out of the light. Barry paused a moment before going after them, stroking Casey’s cheek with his thumb. “I’m going to go make sure this stays hush hush. Fill Dennis in, will ya?”

Casey nodded and he pressed a quick kiss to her lips before fading from the light. Dennis tried not to shiver. Bending down to take in the macabre scene in greater detail, he pulled his glasses out of the front pocket of their jeans. “What the hell is this?” he muttered.

Casey got down on her haunches besides him, trying not to be overt in her attempts to lean into his warmth. “I think it’s a message for you.”

She was visibly shaking and Dennis placed a hand on her knee to steady her. “You don’t have to stay out here, Casey.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

Of course not. Dennis wasn't going to waste time arguing. Instead, he ran his tongue over his upper lip, trying to decide if they were in immediate danger or not. “Why do you think this was meant for me?”

She pointed out the composition of the skulls and the way the spine was entrenched under the ice block. “Heinrich said this was reminiscent of a scene from a poem. I remember it from school, now that I think about it. Satan is eternally trapped under ice while devouring Judas Iscariot. It was their punishment for betraying God."

“Betraying God?” Dennis watched his breath condense in the winter air, coming out a little too quickly. The implications were horrifying and it felt like he might be on the verge of a panic attack.

Casey noticed and slipped her hand into his own. “The Beast called you a traitor.”

“Yes.”

“The Beast couldn’t have done this though. The blood is fresh, and I spent all evening with Orwell.” 

And when the deer had come crashing through their window, Barry had been with Casey.

Shit. 

This was worst case scenario. In all of his preparation, this was one issue Dennis hadn’t ever planned for-the Beast had help, and up until this point he was none the wiser. How was that even possible? They were in the middle of nowhere, how could the Horde regroup and communicate with outsiders? What if the System _wasn’t_ as unified as they previously thought? Were Kevin and Casey vulnerable to whatever this was? Dennis felt sick.

On autopilot, he headed back inside to grab trash bags and heavy gloves. While cleaning up the gory mess, his eyes continually darted to the dark forest in the distance, searching for any sign of a threat. Casey helped, spraying down the porch until blood no longer stained the wood and the smell of iron dissipated around them.

“Do you think we’re safe here, Dennis?” Her voice broke through the still air, making him jump slightly.

He turned to look at her and sighed, still unused to having to protect others outside of himself; it made him cagey. “I don’t know.” There was no indication that whoever had left the message was still around, but that didn’t mean much, they were surrounded by forest. There were so many places to hide. “I’ll stay up tonight and make sure nothing else happens. I wasn’t expecting to have to move so soon, but we will if we have to.” His blue eyes fell on Casey’s smaller form and his heart ached. What had they dragged her into now? “You can still change your mind, go back home. Tell the cops we kidnapped you again, but you escaped. No one would have to know, and I would…we would_ all_ understand.”

Casey was so tired of this conversation. She walked to the front door and pushed it open, motioning for Dennis to follow. “Don’t make me get Barry out here again.”

It wasn’t really the time, but Dennis still made a face of mock horror. “Is he going to bore me to death with fabric comparisons? Oh god, not another lecture on the benefits of cashmere!” That might actually just kill him, but he would never let Barry catch on, he'd use that sort of ammo against Dennis indiscriminately and without mercy. 

“I bet he heard you, you’re in for it now.”

Dennis chuckled, low and breathy. Casey had the oddest way of turning any terrible situation into something far more palatable. He understood she was most likely terrified and just putting on an act, trying to give him less to worry about, but he loved her for it.

"I'll be right in. Let me deal with this." He motioned to the bag of gore and Casey just nodded, slipping inside and closing the door behind her. Dennis heard the lock turn and he nodded his approval to no one in particular as he headed out to find somewhere safe to leave the bloody mess. 

Hauling the trash bag deep into the forest, he picked his way through the foliage, wary and on guard. Most of the snow from the previous storm had melted, but there were still small pockets of it here and there, though he could find no signs of any recent disturbances. He left his burden deep in the woods, hoping a hawk or fox might make quick work of the nasty thing. 

With one last sweeping glance he turned around and headed back to the cabin, not entirely sure why he felt the need to keep looking to the forest for their unseen antagonist. In truth, their greatest danger still lay inside of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all have been amazing, and your comments and insights into my story are beyond appreciated; you're the best!
> 
> For Christmas I thought I might write a quick oneshot or two for anyone that might be interested, as a thank you (and a nice change of pace tbh). You can pick the subject matter (so long as it’s Split related, obviously). Only caveats are I don’t write underage or noncon. If there's something you'd like to see that I've yet to write, I'm probably down.
> 
> If you’re interested, you can hit me up here or email me: blacklamb4@gmail.com
> 
> Also, I've studied German on and off for years since middle school and my understanding is still rudimentary at best because I am a quitter. Apologies to Heinrich and any German speakers out there if something has been butchered. It looks right to me, but that means literally nothing, so 🤷


	23. Portrait of a Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis and Barry have a bro moment  
Hedwig is _not_ a reliable source of information, but he's cute so we deal  
Your enterprising author writes more woobie shit instead of getting on with the Beast plot line. If I had an editor, this is where they would take a puff and say "fuck it"

The sharp cold of the windowpane was the only thing keeping a weary Dennis awake. He sat in the master bedroom, back pressed tightly against the glass as Casey slept nearby. She had asked him repeatedly if he would be more comfortable on the bed, but that would only serve to stress him further. As soon as daylight broke he would pass the light off to one of the others so he could get some rest, but until then he had to remain alert to any signs of immediate danger.

It was getting harder and harder to concentrate though. Casey was sighing in her sleep, little gasps and moans that were making his pants awkwardly tight, and all he could think about was the offer to join her in bed. He tried to blame it on heightened adrenaline levels agitating his exhausted mind, but shame was mingling with excitement, making an uncomfortable, heady mixture. He needed relief.

Moving his hand to his zipper, he hesitated. He most certainly could not do this in front of Casey, asleep or not. But she also couldn't be left alone, not with whatever it was stalking them still possibly lurking nearby. The effigy left at their doorstep was not subtle in it's violent overtures, danger was very present.

If he didn’t do something soon though, he wouldn’t be able to concentrate and would make the entire vigil pointless. All that was needed was a few minutes.

He quietly made his way to the bathroom, holding his breath as he walked past her, but blessedly she remained asleep. Unbuckling his pants as soon as he was able, he released his aching cock from its prison and took it stiffly in his hand. Even now he could feel the Worm uncurl from its nesting spot and begin to burrow its way to him, inflaming his neurons, reminding him what filth he was. At least Penelope was not there to haunt him, and thus could not lay her wicked hands on Casey, could not contaminate her as she contaminated him. It was how Dennis became convinced that there was no possibility of an afterlife; if the wretched bitch were still around, he knew there was nothing she would delight in more than hurting the woman he loved before clawing her away from him.

His erection only got painfully harder at the thought and he wanted to weep.

_Fucking whore_, the Worm laughed. _When are you going to admit you loved what she did to you? Pathetic. Penelope doesn’t need to be here, you’re capable of hurting Casey all on your own._

_STOP_

This was so typical. All he wanted was to get off in the least offensive way possible, and instead it was turning into an ordeal on top of a panic attack.

With a shuddering breath he focused on Casey, thinking on how hungrily she touched him, her utter fearlessness at anything life threw at her. What would she be like in bed? Her pretty face and gentle manner belied her; she would not be delicate. She was a hunter and knew what to do with her prey once it was trapped and begging for its life, she would know how to treat him. He could imagine her palms pressed hard against his shoulders as she held him down; he would play Shiva to her Kali, and if she wished to consume him while she fucked him, he would not resist. He would die that death a thousand times over. The only things that would matter would be her nails in his flesh, her teeth to his throat, and there he would find absolution.

Taking hold of his cock he began stroking with a vice-like grip, low thrums of pleasure rumbling from his chest as tendrils of ecstasy began to spread throughout his lower body. Part of him wished to draw it out, but every minute he was away was another minute for their enemy to perhaps sneak up on them unawares. He pumped harder, feeling his skin chafe under the friction of his death grip and after a few minutes the orgasm overtook him, too quickly for proper aim. Cum splattered on the edges of the tub instead of by the drain and he cringed when he came down from the high. He waited anxiously for the voice of the Worm to scold him for the mess, but the flood of serotonin to his brain was doing a fine job of drowning it out, at least for now. 

As his dick hung limply in his hands, he could feel Barry’s presence come up from behind and lean into him softy, asking for release into the light. It was times like this that he remained grateful the other man never shoved his way in, despite having the ability to do so. He briefly debated whether or not he wanted the company before deciding he might as well; they needed to plan their next steps. Besides, this wasn’t anything Barry hadn’t seen before.

He stepped aside to make room, and Barry began cursing immediately, grimacing as he took their raw cock into his hands.

“God damn it, was the dick burn necessary? Take it easy next time, will ya?” He hummed and hissed as he tried to gently rub the stinging pain out of their nerves. “Remember it doesn’t just belong to us anymore, and let me tell ya, Casey can be insatiable. She won't be happy if ya put us outta commission.”

His words made their shared blood flow right back to where Dennis didn’t want or need it and he found himself hardening again. “Yeah, let’s not talk about…” he trailed off, groaning in frustration.

“Woah, easy there. You’d save us all a lot of grief if ya just gave in to your feelings, it’s not like Casey doesn’t want ya.” Barry quickly looked around the bathroom, frowning. “Speaking of which…where is babygirl? I really don’t think ya should have left her alone right now.”

Dennis’s smile was grim as he reached for his handkerchief. It was not yellow like the old one, but green, the color of renewal. “Careful, you’re starting to sound like me. Is love turning you neurotic?”

If they were back in their room of chairs the comment would have triggered a friendly tussle, but now that they were in the light Barry had to settle for posturing in front of the bathroom mirror. “Like fuck I am!" he insisted, while still taking a moment to make a mental checklist of how very _not _like Dennis he was.

To his credit, Dennis laughed as he began scrubbing at the tub. "You don't sound very convinced."

"Well, regardless of how much like you I'm turning out to be, right now we've got bigger things to worry about." 

Dennis nodded as he turned the faucet on; it always felt good when he and Barry were in agreement about something. “You're right. Do you have any suggestions?”

"Well...we gotta figure out how the Horde is contacting outsiders."

That was obvious. What wasn’t so obvious was sussing out how Patricia anticipated he and Barry would react once they discovered she was active again. To even have a shot at beating the Horde, they had to keep them off guard, and that meant that Dennis had to play unconventionally.

God, he hated unconventional.

“Do you think Patricia expects us to confront her? Even if we did, I can’t see her doing anything other than playing dumb.”

Barry shrugged, trying to inch them towards the door. "Maybe, but it’s obvious they want us to know; otherwise they wouldn’t be leaving us all of these clues. What’s their end game?"

“I don’t know. What I do know is that we have to do something, and soon. And stop moving, I'm not done cleaning.” The semen was no longer visible, but he _knew_ it was still there because he was anxious. He wouldn't be anxious for nothing, or at least that's what he always told himself.

"I guess I don’t see the point of moving already. We can’t outrun ourselves."

Barry's voice brought him back down from the edge and he pinched the bridge of their nose, trying to get his shit together. "No, but we can deprive the Beast of his flunkies. Go somewhere remote with no internet, no cell service, see how that suites them."

"That might stall them, but certainly not forever." Barry halfheartedly watched Dennis scrub away at the porcelain, an unvoiced concern scratching at the back of his mind. "I don't understand how any of this is possible. Don't you have control over the Beast now? How have they been able to make it this far?"

_Because I'm a fuck up_, Dennis mused bleakly. "I'm not omnipotent, we're not_ all_ gods in here. This is just one more failure for me in a long list of them."

Barry sighed, he should have known better then to ask. "That's not what I was getting at, babyboy."

"It's fine." Dennis gave the handkerchief a once over and grimaced, incredibly tempted to just throw it away instead of sanitizing it. Unfortunately money was more than a little tight, so he'd just have to make due with multiple washes. "Alright, I'm done. Let's go." 

They padded down the hall softly, the warm burgundy carpet swallowing the sound of their footsteps. With as much gentleness as he could muster, Barry cracked Casey's bedroom door open and slipped inside, carrying them over to the sleeping young woman. Her cheeks were pleasantly flushed from hours spent under heavy blankets, and Barry reached down to stroke her face gently. Even in sleep she leaned into his touch and Barry felt his throat tighten.

“Wherever we go, she’s coming with us,” he insisted. His voice cracked, and Dennis wondered if he was expected to put up a fight.

“Of course she is.” Leaving her behind had ceased being an option weeks ago.

A sense of gratitude flooded their chest, Barry’s relief palatable. Turning them back to the window, Dennis took another look outside. The trees still held an ominous presence, but that was most likely just because they were on edge, nothing really seemed out of the ordinary. “I think, aside from finding somewhere else to live, our first priority should be figuring out how the Horde is communicating with outsiders.”

“And finding out if anyone else in the System is still faithful to the Beast, Patricia excluded.”

Barry sounded very grieved, but the thought made Dennis angry. They were afforded a second chance, who would be stupid enough to take that for granted? “You think it’s more than just Patricia involved?” The possibility had occurred to him, but he hadn't wanted to spend time entertaining it, there was enough to worry about as it was.

“Orwell does. Assumes she would be able to sniff out any weak links and fill them in on our little issue. It's easy to be bad when your own skin is on the line.”

This just kept getting worse and worse. All Dennis had ever wanted to do was some fucking good with his life, and he was being blocked at every turn. “We really gotta move then." He paused, thinking. "There’s gonna be a lot of traveling going on everywhere due to the holidays, would be easier to be spotted. We stay alert and lay low for the next couple of weeks. Then we run.”

“And Kevin?” Barry circled them about in tight circles like a caged animal.

Dennis wasn’t ready for this conversation, not now. “What about him?”

“Man, we gotta tell him what’s going on sometime.”

“No, we definitely do not.”

Barry stopped pacing, incredulous. “Alright, and when he comes to the light just to find out we've moved again, we tell him...what exactly?”

Dennis shrugged, it really wasn't that difficult. “The truth. Someone discovered the cabin, it wasn’t safe anymore.”

Barry hummed softly, thinking it over. It was still a lie of omission, but he too was concerned with Kevin possibly regressing. This was an issue that required a delicate touch and despite his indelicate appearance, precision was Dennis’s area of expertise. “Alright. I think we can swing it for a while. Ya gotta come up with a better plan that then eventually though.”

They were in agreement then, thank god. "See if you and Orwell can find out what Patricia is up to. Leave the travel concerns to me, I'll figure something out." And he would- didn't know how, but he had always managed in the past. 

“Sounds like a plan...and by the way?"

"Hmm?" Dennis's attention was back out the window, noticing with relief that the first signs of sunrise were beginning to appear over the treeline, staining the sky pink and orange.

"Even though this is more Horde fuckery we don’t need, I’m glad you’re here to face it with me. I love ya, and I've missed this."

Mercifully, Barry left the light as soon as he had spoken his mind, knowing he would leave behind a dumbfounded and emotional Dennis. Overwhelmed, Dennis rested his forehead against the window glass, wondering when exactly life had decided to start being kind.

* * *

Later on in the day, Casey walked out of Orwell's study, dejected. Given that the Horde's activity was accelerating, Orwell thought it best to attempt the Headless Ritual immediately.

Results were about as expected.

“Maybe I wasn’t a very good…uh…Headless One,” Casey sighed. Despite not really believing it would work, she still felt her heart sink. If invocations had been enough to save Kevin and the others, she would invoke all day, every day. Now all she had was the ashy taste of uncertainty and a dread that the people she loved most in the world still had a blade hanging precariously over their collective heads.

Orwell was not nearly as upset. “Nonsense, it was a long shot.” He could tell she was disheartened and put a comforting hand on her shoulder, heavy and warm in its presence. “I have plenty more ideas; I just believed it best to get this over with. We’ll speak on them soon, I promise.” His unwavering certainty was enough to bring tears to Casey’s eyes and she wrapped her arms around his waist, grateful.

Placing a soft kiss on the top of her head, Orwell squeezed her shoulders once before stepping back and allowing someone else into the light. Kevin’s body tensed as though he were about to go running forward and then Hedwig exploded through, grabbing Casey's arm and pulling her along into the living room.

“Come on, you’ve been with Orwell forever, et cetera! Let's draw!” Stripping Orwell's sweater vest and glasses from his body, he threw them to the ground, forcing Casey to pick up after him on the way so they weren't leaving messes behind for Dennis.

Ten minutes later the pair was curled around the living room fireplace, sketching out various superheroes in ridiculous scenarios, and Hedwig spit them out as fast as Casey could draw them.

“And then Nigthwing takes Deadpool’s katana and slices the bad guy’s head off, and Kanye is so happy they saved Kim, he makes a sick rap all about it!” By this point he had forgone even trying to illustrate any of the characters and just drew a collage of blood and gore all across his page. “Hey Casey, pass the black marker?”

Casey absentmindedly handed Hedwig the markers, chewing on the end of her pencil. “Wait, what does Nightwing look like again?” 

“Casey, don’t let _Bear Bear _see you eating his pencils!” Hedwig teased, batting his eyelashes at her, but then frowned. “You spend so much time with Mr. Barry, do you like him better than me now?”

He looked the picture of pathetic-huge watery eyes and a giant pout, and Casey couldn’t help but giggle. “Are you kidding? I don’t get to draw Catwoman/Black Panther cyborgs with Barry!” She leaned in to kiss his nose. “You’re still my favorite drawing partner, I promise.”

Satisfied, Hedwig returned to his artwork, but it reminded Casey that she had wanted to draw everyone's portraits. If they were all to be finished before Christmas, she would have to get started soon. Rolling over onto her back, she rubbed her now slightly cramped hands and soaked up the fire’s warmth like a cat, content to lay there and listen to Hedwig sketch away for a moment or two.

“Hey Hedwig?” she asked after a few minutes had passed. “Can you tell me what everyone looks like when you’re sitting in your chairs?”

“That sounds boring.”

“Actually…” she rolled back onto her stomach and leaned forward, the promise of conspiracy lighting up her eyes. “It’s for a secret project. I’ll tell you, but I need you to promise you won’t share. Otherwise…” she gave a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders, “I’ll just have to ask Jade or Luke for help.”

Secrets. Hedwig loved secrets, mostly because no one ever shared them with him. “No! I’ll do it!” He sat up and crossed his legs, ecstatic to have something to hold over the other’s heads. Not that he _would_ tell, he wasn’t a snitch or a promise breaker. Usually.

“Well, I thought for Christmas I would draw everyone’s picture. But I want it to be a surprise; it’s more fun if no one is expecting it.”

“Oh cool, do me first!” Hedwig waved his hand around like he was waiting to be picked out of a classroom; clearly the idea thrilled him just as much as it had her.

“Alright!” Casey curled her legs up under her, reaching for her sketchbook to take notes. “What do you look like?”

Hedwig opened his mouth as if to let forth a deluge of information, but then snapped it shut. “I don’t know what _I _look like, silly! I can’t see myself.”

Casey smiled wryly. “I guess the chair room doesn’t have mirrors?”

The fact that Hedwig had actually never even_ seen_ himself didn’t seem to register until that moment. He wrinkled his nose, already getting frustrated with their new project. “Never mind, let’s do someone else.”

“Ok, well, what about Barry?” She tried to control her smile in an effort to not offend Hedwig, but it didn't work. He crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, pouting.

“He’s a big fat guy and he eats his boogers when he thinks no one is looking.” Well, that’s what Hedwig _thought_ Barry should look like. He liked Mr. Barry now, but he was also a dumb girlfriend-stealer and he wasn't even that cool, couldn't even break dance!

Instead of being appropriately horrified, Casey laughed until her vision blurred and it took a few different attempts to write the comment down. For posterity, of course, and _definitely_ not for future use in poking fun at Barry. She wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to get serious again. “Ok, forget Barry. How about Dennis, what does he look like?”

Hedwig puffed up his cheeks and exhaled sharply as if she had just asked him to solve Fermat’s Last Theorem. “Weeelllll….he’s really big, like,” he stood up on his tip toes and lifted an arm way over his head to illustrate. “He’s ripped! Not like the Beast, but… like Thor or something.”

Casey’s interest was piqued significantly. "Go on."

“He doesn’t have a beard like Mr. Pritchard, but his hair is kinda-”

“Dennis has hair?”

“Yeah, duh. Don’t you have hair?”

“Yeah, I guess. I never really pictured him as anything other than clean shaven." She could feel a blush coming on as Hedwig studied her intently and thought it best to move on. "And Mr. Pritchard has a beard?”

"And lots of hair on his head, and on his chest, and on his arms, et cetera."

Casey nearly dropped her pencil in shock, not sure she had heard the boy quite right. “Oh my god, Hedwig! You used ‘et cetera’ correctly!”

Hedwig rolled his eyes. “I always use it correctly, DUH.”

While Hedwig was long past the age where he needed naps, he was certainly consistent at getting a bit..cranky at certain times of the day. It was the pain of never growing up, of constantly being caught between childhood and puberty, and Casey couldn't blame him. "You're right, that was silly of me, I guess I'm just getting tired." She kissed his nose again. "This was a big help, thank you Hedwig."

He beamed at her, the joy he radiated inundating all the features of his face. "Don't worry Casey, I won't tell! It's still our secret, right?"

God, it still broke her heart how so little could make that boy so happy. She held a finger to her lips, indicating it was so secret they couldn't even talk about it out loud. "I don't know what you're talking about," she smiled.

He gave her an exaggerated wink like he always saw Barry do. "Ohhhhh, ok, gotcha! Imma go see if one of the others will tell me what I look like for the...uh..." This secret keeping was going to be harder than he thought. "For a thing."

"That sounds like a good plan, Hedwig. Can I talk to Barry or Dennis, please?"

Surprisingly, he passed the light off without much fanfare, to Barry no less. Clearly he was still focused entirely on their new project.

Barry noticed his good mood immediately. "What's got Hedwig so happy?"

Casey buried her nose up under his chin, peppering soft kisses along the edge of his jawline. "I asked him for help with drawing you all. You should put him to work more often, he likes being helpful."

Barry tweaked her nose, smirking. "I love the kid, but I think you and I have got different definitions of 'helpful'."

"Not at all! Without his help, I never would have known that you are a nose picking connoisseur."

"Hmmm..." Barry pretended to consider, wrapping his arms around her waist so she couldn't get away, and Casey mentally kicked herself for not maintaining a safe distance before teasing him. "Yeah...no, that sounds about right. And let me tell ya, if that's not in my picture, Hedwig and I are gonna be real bummed." Cold wetness suddenly enveloped the right side of her face and she shrieked, just about clawing Barry as he refused to dislodge his tongue from inside her ear.

"Oh my god, why?!"

"This is what ya get for listening to Hedwig," he mumbled awkwardly, trying to form words over his tongue. All manner of curses and pleas escaped Casey's lips as she tried to extricate herself from his hold, but didn't successfully do so until she promised to finish the last _Always Sunny _season with him.

"You are a mean and horrible man," she panted, trying to rub her ear dry.

"And don't ya forget it." He danced around her, trying to offer kisses of atonement as she kept her back to him and dodged them one by one. Finally he made contact with the nape of her neck, smiling into her skin over the display of mock petulance. "So...is now is a bad time to tell ya...?"

"Tell me what?" Mollified, she allowed him to walk them both back towards the sofa and collapse down onto the cushions. She reached out to rub the tight musculature of his upper back and he rumbled his gratitude.

"Tell you that we're going home."

"What, to Philly?"

"Nah, babygirl. _Home_."

That sounded lovely, but she still had no idea what he was talking about. "Where is home?"

Taking her hand, he placed it on his chest so she could feel his heartbeat, and situated his own over her heart. "Right here..."

Casey shook her head, wondering why he was being evasive. "Call me stupid, but I'm still not following."

"Probably because this is my desperate way of trying to distract ya from the fact we gotta pick up and run again, and Dennis and I got no clue where that would be to."

Ah, now it all made sense. _Home_. Home had not been a thing for Casey in a long time, not since her father died. All she ever had was four walls and a roof to cage her in with her tormentor. _Home._ She repeated the word again and again to herself, and to Barry's dismay, broke out into tears. He cradled her face, his eyebrows knit together in concern. "What's wrong, babydoll?"

"You think...we're finally going to find a place to settle down?"

The scent of _Blue Encens_ overwhelmed her as he pulled her close, drying her tears on his hoodie. "You, me, Dennis, Kevin, a nine year old, and a murderous demigod. That was all you ever dreamed of as a little girl, right?"

Casey laughed through her tears, a combination of grief and exhilaration squeezing at her chest. "If you had told me as a little girl that one day I'd have a real home again but it was a run down shack, it would still have exceeded my wildest dreams."

"I don't know about any shacks, but we'll make it work. I've got our clothes covered, Luke is a hell of a gardener, and Dennis will run around taking us to the brink of death every night." He rolled his eyes affectionately, stroking her hair. "It'll be perfect, we won't settle for any less."

They briefly basked in the fantasy of having a place of their own until Casey opened her mouth again. "What does Kevin think? Is he excited too?"

Barry kept playing with her hair, but she could feel him stiffen slightly underneath her and she frowned. "You didn't tell him, did you?"

"I wanted to doll, but Dennis talked me out of it. We're not sure that's the best idea right now, we gotta focus on giving him as much stability as we can."

"I wouldn't t call leaving him in the dark a form of stability."

"Trust me, we wouldn't be doing it if we thought it would hurt him."

While that was all well and good for Dennis and Barry, she couldn't help but be concerned that Kevin would blame her for any lack of honesty on her part. "I don't want him getting mad at me, Bear Bear."

"Nah, that's easy. Just tell him you were outvoted, we'll take the blame. He loves ya to pieces, wont give it a second thought, I promise."

That seemed plausible, and Barry certainly would know better than anyone. While he didn't elaborate on the reasoning he and Dennis used, there was no doubt they had Kevin's highest good in mind. 

She acquiesced. "Alright, but you owe me." Her fingers curled themselves up in his hair and she yanked gently at the roots. Her meaning was clear and Barry obediently slid down her body, parting her legs and resting a heavy palm between them.

"How can I do that, I wonder?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Dennis and Barry are my OTP and I need a stoner buddy comedy about them ASAP. I wrote a story about their pre-Split [falling out](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21717238/chapters/51802672) if you happened to miss it and the mood strikes you. It's definitely my love letter to the boys.  
2\. I want to post one more chapter before Christmas because it takes place on xmas, but in the event I don't get around to it, happy holidays everyone! Whatever you do or do not celebrate, I wish you happiness and health ❤🍷🥂


	24. Ghosts of Christmas Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ansel is a mystery, Hedwig might secretly be related to the "pancakes" kid from Cabin Fever. Dennis gives a bit for Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to update before the holidays were over so the chapter was more timely but that didn't happen, QQ. I _can_ start the new year by thanking everyone for the love and support they've shown the story; it's been such a fun distraction in my life and I've met so many other incredible authors/Split fans-when I first posted I had no idea how rewarding this would turn out to be. I appreciate every comment and kudos, and I hope you know how much I value each and every one of you spending time in this world with me.
> 
> Thank you <3

If the Beast was the raging bloodlust of a starving wolf, Ansel was a lost pup, searching long and hard for a momma who would no doubt send him out to fend for himself if he ever found her again. For the short amount of time he had been alive, existence was just fear.

Unsure and confused, Ansel clung to the more dominant alters, hoping to soak up some of their grim will, but most thought him a nuisance. He was the youngest, even younger than Jalin, and did not know his purpose or why he was born. Although usually very reserved, this was one thing that he incessantly talked about, bordered on obsessed. What was the point of living when you weren't even sure who you were?

He used to take his concerns to Patricia, but that was before she had become so very, very frightening. Eventually, she tried to talk him into serving her god, claiming he would find all of the meaning and fulfillment he could ever want at the Beast's feet. Unfortunately for her, while Ansel knew very little, he knew enough that that was_ not_ what he was made for.

Barry always indulged these long conversations of fear and doubt, doing his very best to soothe his young friend. Ansel constantly wished he could be like Barry, full of assurance and warm, soft things that made everyone love him; but he knew he may as well wish to be someone else entirely. When he despaired the most, Barry would wrap him in his arms, promising Ansel would not exist if there was no purpose to it. Each and every alter had their part to play, and while Kevin was weak and bruised, his alters were never without their place.

“When you need to know, you will,” Barry told him, sounding so convinced that Ansel had to believe him.

Ansel hid and Ansel _hoped_. He also did not like being in control of the light.

The first and only time he had willingly come to the light between Kevin’s disappearance and the emergence of the Beast was after Barry had asked him to do so. "Doll, how can you be so sure there's something to be afraid of if you've never been in the light?" he would ask. There was no good answer, and Barry finally coaxed him out of his chair one day while they were in the maintenance tunnels at work. Barry assumed the peace and quiet would be perfect for the young alter, but Ansel had found himself immediately overwhelmed and afraid. 

He knew they were underground, that's where they lived and worked (like trolls or sewer people). It was impossibly bright for being subterranean, and the pipes that lined the wall seemed to twist and turn in on themselves, leading to no logical end. The air was damp and every footstep rang out in front of him, adding to the disorientation. Why would Barry ask him to come here? It was scary and he would get them lost in these corridors, where they would starve, or be reduced to eating rats, like real trolls would.

A panic attack set in. He ended up making such a keening, wailing racket that other zoo staffers raced down to the tunnels, convinced an animal had somehow gotten loose and was trapped and wounded within its halls.

Eventually Barry came back for the light, and had a hell of a time explaining to his co-workers why they found him curled up in a ball and crying in a place he should have known inside and out.

"A bad drug trip," he had convinced them, and they just shrugged their shoulders and asked if he needed anything before departing. Barry was a favored employee and had earned his co-workers good will and friendship over the years, so nothing ever came of it. Of course, Ansel had been ashamed and apologized profusely, terrified he had ruined their social standing at the zoo; but Barry had only shushed him, telling him it wasn’t his fault, he shouldn’t have pushed Ansel if he wasn’t ready.

The _last_ time he had ever been in control of the light was when that nurse’s aide at the hospital had so rudely flashed lights in their face, again and again and again until up was down and sideways was straight. Ansel had found himself out of his chair, only knowing he wasn’t supposed to be there and that they needed more time.

“Barry is speaking to Kevin, trying to get him near the light. Is he close enough yet?” he had asked, pleading, hoping that if he gave this strange man some positive feedback, he would let Ansel go back to his seat. Of course, Barry never got Kevin to oust the Beast, but it somehow, somehow had all worked out.

It was all thanks to the woman currently sitting in front of him, holding his hands gently like she was afraid she might break him, and for all Ansel knew, she could. This was the first time they had ever spoken directly, and he became intensely aware of the fact he felt safe.

"So I drew pictures of everyone for Christmas," she was explaining, and he found it hard to pay attention. The way she treated him was so warm he just wanted to fold himself up again and again and disappear into her, losing himself to becoming one with someone so whole and loving. The others might laugh at him if they knew, so he kept his thoughts to himself.

Casey showed him the portrait she had drawn for him. He was confused. Surely this was meant for someone else? Granted, he didn’t recognize the face on the paper as any other alter, but there was no way someone this…normal could be him?

“This is what I look like?” He couldn’t believe it. He had kind eyes.

“That’s what Barry tells me. Do you…not like it?”

There were no words to adequately explain how much he _did_ like it. He moved to trace the lines of the pencil before quickly retracting his fingers, afraid to smudge the artwork.

Casey just smiled. "Don't worry, there's fixative on it. You can touch, it won't smear."

Reverently he moved his hand again and again over the strange face before him, committing the image to his memory. He could still not find his purpose there, but just the fact that something solid and tangible now visibly defined him was enough to revive some fresh optimism. 

"This helps. Thank you," he finally admitted, looking up to Casey with eyes threatening to spill their tears. “Do you think...” he paused; would she make fun of him? He was there when Barry called them to the light and she claimed to love them all. How could she love him when she barely knew him? If she knew him, she would understand how useless and cowardly he was, there was no room for love in a body picked apart by fear. He was full of holes; any bits of love would flood out of him like rainwater used to run off the Philadelphia streets and into their old home. 

“What is it, Ansel?” Casey squeezed his hand tighter; he hadn’t realized he had spaced out in the middle of speaking. He was going to ask if she thought he was part of the bad things inside Kevin, if _she_ had any idea who he was. But he already knew it was useless. If none of the others could give him an answer, how could she? 

“I love it, no one's ever given me a gift before. Thank you.” 

* * *

Norma and Casey had spent a few hours that evening baking Christmas cookies, then Hedwig had come out to help decorate, although he was doing more spoon licking then anything else. Casey tried to herd him away from the bowl and towards the cookie sheets where he could sprinkle everything to his heart's content, but it was becoming an exercise in futility.

"Hedwig, you're going to have a stomach ache for Christmas, and I will never hear the end of it from Dennis!" she yelled, exasperated. "Don't make me call him out here."

"Nuh uh, Mr. Dennis says that if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best!" Hedwig dodged her as she grabbed for the wooden spoon, dancing around the counter in a malevolent glee only children can muster.

"Dennis had never uttered any combination of those words in his entire life!"

"Prove it!"

It wasn't Hedwig's fault, but sometimes it was so god damn infuriating for Casey to see a "grown man" acting out like a little shit. She slumped down into a chair, sick of the chase. "If you're not good, Santa might not come tonight!"

The mood in the kitchen immediately turned sour and Hedwig dropped the spoon as if she had just struck him. Lips trembling, he tried not to cry and embarrass himself. "Kevin's mom always said that Santa doesn't bother with trash. He never came for any of us."

Shame flooded Casey. If Penelope Crumb weren't already dead, she was sure she would have killed her then and there. Instead she had to settle for gathering Hedwig in her arms, trying to consolidate his considerable frame into her embrace. "You know that's not true, right? You're not trash. You're one of the most special people in my life."

"It doesn't matter." He swiped at watery eyes, angry he was crying over something so childish. "Mr. Barry told me a long time ago Santa wasn't real, he wasn't ignoring us, an' that Kevin's mom was just a bitch, et cetera...but...the other kids still made fun of us for not getting presents." 

Maybe Casey could exhume Penelope's body and stomp on it until she were nothing more than ash and bits of detritus. "I hope you know that if Santa were real, you'd be the first person he'd visit." Despite her intentions, the words felt lame.

Hedwig shrugged, not in the mood anymore, and Casey's heart ached for him. As a gesture of goodwill, she took a new spoon out and loaded up more cookie dough, passing it on to him. "Well, Santa might not stop by, but I got a few things for you to open tomorrow, ok?"

With the way he reacted, you would have thought she declared Hedwig king of everything. His eyes were comically wide. "You got me a present?"

"I did! AND I'll make you Christmas pancakes."

"Oh my god, what are Christmas pancakes?" His lisp came out as a reverent whisper, clearly the idea of Christmas pancakes was the best thing he'd never heard of before. Kevin's mom was suddenly relegated to the dustbin of history where she belonged.

"I guess you'll have to find out tomorrow."

"Woah...Christmas Pancakes...I bet they're red an' green an' have little trees on them, et cetera!" Christmas was back on the menu, it seemed. "Mr. Dennis says he has to s-stroke the fire now so it doesn't die, et cetera. You better watch him Casey, I don't want him to get burned."

"You don't 'stroke' a fire, Hedwig, you 'stoke' it."

"Maybe you don't! Mr. Dennis can do anything."

For all Casey knew, that was true. "Alright, I promise I'll watch him."

There was still the matter of giving Dennis his gift. She had saved it for last, for some reason being unusually nervous about what his reaction would be.

She didn't have time to dwell on it, as soon as Dennis took the light he gave her a tight smile before turning heel and walking to the living room to take care of the fire.

Grabbing the poker, he cautiously jabbed at the brittle logs, breaking them down before throwing a fresh one on top. The fire flared back to life and he turned around, satisfied. Casey was there, in his space, holding a piece of paper close to her chest. He knew what it was and joy and caution both flickered inside.

When Dennis thought of himself, it was never as the others saw him, because it wasn't really possible to. He knew he was much bigger than most of them, could see the ropes of muscle that defined his body, but as far as he was concerned, he looked just like Kevin. He briefly wondered if this drawing would cause some sort of dysmorphia or dissociation in him, or if it would be enlightening. If what was going on in the chair room was any indication, the drawings were a hit with everyone else.

As if she could sense his hesitation, Casey's face fell a bit, and Dennis mentally kicked himself. He put a hand on her shoulder, trying to generate some positivity. "I hope you know how much everyone adores your portraits. They must have taken considerable time and effort, we're all touched. I just wish we had something comparable to give you."

Heat crept into her skin, a little taken aback by the praise. "I'm pretty psyched everyone likes them. Do you...want to see yours?"

A second's hesitation might crush her, so Dennis nodded with more confidence than he felt. "I would love to."

After she pressed the paper into his hands, Dennis turned it around and sucked his breath in. What the hell was this? There was no way he could be this good looking, right? A clean shaven face with strong cheekbones and eyes bluer than Kevin's were staring back at him, and while there was no smile (in this he was sure it was accurate), he didn't look nearly as miserable as he often felt.

_Oh my god, who is that absolute snack?_

A smile was imposing itself over Dennis’s mouth whether he liked it or not. “Shut up, Barry. There's no way this is actually what I look like.”

_How very dare you. Who doesn't take their artistic craft seriously if not I?_

_"_I'm not sure you like art as much as you like bugging me."

_Hmmm. True_.

Casey didn’t bother to hide her irritation. “First of all, there was no reason for Barry to lie to me in his description, and I'm a damn good artist. Secondly, you both know I hate it when you have conversations I can’t keep up with.”

“Take it up with your boy, he’s the one that insists on riding around with me.”

“Barry,” Casey put her hands on her hips. “What are you saying?”

Briefly fronting the light, Barry winked at her before smiling apologetically. “I said my baby girl is the most god damn talented artist in this cabin, and that’s saying a lot.”

Dennis smirked. "Actually, what he was really doing was begging me not to show him up from now on. Being a pretty boy is gonna be a game changer."

"Women still aren't going to respond to the serial killer schtick," Barry laughed.

"Don't make me kick your ass in front of Casey."

"Casey will protect me, won't you babe?"

Casey just grinned. "Actually, I'm curious to see how that would play out. Would you have to hit yourself, or is there space in the chair room for beatdowns?"

"Oh, I'll show ya a beatdown."

Casey tensed, getting ready to be chased through the cabin, but then Barry sighed, remembering it was still very much Dennis's turn in the light. "Later, when ya least expect it, Cooke. Better watch your back!" He kissed the tip of her nose before blinking out of the light.

Dennis snorted and rolled his eyes. "Your boyfriend is a knucklehead."

"I know, that's why I love him."

He afforded her a warm smiled before staring back into the fireplace, wondering for the millionth time what they had done to deserve her devotion. The ghostly image of flames danced on his glasses and Casey thought that he now almost seemed sad, much more apparent in the wake of Barry's buoyant teasing. An awful image forced itself to the forefront of her mind. “Did your mom burn you?”

He turned to look at her, scrunching up one side of his nose in thought. It occurred to Casey that while she could name every form of abuse she had endured in the past, Dennis had to actually stop and think. How much damage had been done so that it could no longer be easily recalled?

Finally he shook his head. “Not really, no. Nothing outside of cigarette burns, at least.”

Instinctively Casey’s hands shot to her own scars, feeling the small round areas of raised skin on her stomach. Dennis didn’t like that his presence always made her thoughts turn morbid. “Why are you asking?”

The fire sparked as a log split apart with a loud crack, and the heat suddenly seemed suffocating. Everything about Dennis was so intense, and simple conversation was no different. Casey stepped back from the flames, moving instead to perch on the sofa behind them. “You just seem pensive tonight.”

Dennis’s mouth quirked into a small smile and he sat down next to her, but not nearly close enough for her liking. “How can you tell? Most people say I’m unreadable.”

The question actually wasn’t all that easy to answer and it took Casey a few moments to gather her thoughts. “It’s kind of an unconscious knowing, I guess. When you’ve been around someone long enough, it becomes intuition. I think your eyes gets a little lighter, if that's possible.”

Reaching for the television remote, Dennis remained quiet, unsure of how to respond. Still, it felt good being to actually be known, as a person. He decided it best to change the subject. “You wanna watch something? I think Rudolph is on.”

“You like Rudolph?” Casey was incredulous, and he couldn’t blame her.

“It’s the movie with the clay reindeer, right? I remember watching it with Kevin’s father, years ago.” The memory brought a ghost of a smile to his lips. “It’s one of the few memories I have where he was actually happy and not fightin’ with Kevin’s mother.”

“Well then, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer it is.” Eyes sparkling in the light of the fire, Casey relaxed back onto the sofa, trying not to be cognizant of the fact he was so close but not close enough. She threw a wool blanket over them, a gift from Barry, and even though they were inches apart, Dennis still felt it too intimate. He shifted uncomfortably, so Casey moved further over to ease his mind.

They fell into an familiar silence as the movie played on, but Casey couldn’t help sneaking quick glances over at him, a warm glow settling over her as he intently watched the program, almost childlike in his attention. Her soft staring almost became meditative, and she didn't realize she had lost so much time to it until Dennis spoke up.

“Is the movie boring you?” He tilted his head only slightly; worried that if he looked her directly in the eyes, he might lose his self-control, might need to move closer. “I’m afraid so much time spent with Hedwig has inured me to the tediousness of children’s movies.”

“No. I enjoy anything we do together.” She paused, looking from the little reindeer to Dennis. “You’re kind of like Rudolph, aren’t you?”

Dennis brought fingers up to his nose like it could erupt in a glow at any minute and Casey tried not to laugh.

“You makin’ fun of me?” he grumbled, but his eyes were playful.

Casey reached for his hand, the one touching his nose. “No! I just meant that I know you feel bad because you're different, but the world needs you to be different. You couldn’t save anyone if you weren’t.”

A little gasp escaped his throat and he finally turned to look at her. She could see how her words affected him, could feel her face start to heat up under his intense gaze. His eyes always had that effect on her.

His serious countenance suddenly morphed into a sly grin. "I wouldn't be calling other people 'Rudolph' if I were you. You should see how red your face is." He chuckled and the sound of his laughter almost made the embarrassment worth it.

So used to launching into wrestling matches with Barry at the slightest provocation, Casey pounced without thinking, wrapping her arms around his barreled chest in an effort to pin him to the sofa. As she shifted her way onto his lap she suddenly became cognizant of what she was doing and froze in the middle of the tackle. She could feel him swallow against her cheek, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he breathed slowly through his nose, trying to calm down. Gingerly, she disentangled herself and sat back on the couch, cheeks still on fire. 

This was getting ridiculous; if they were going to be living together for the foreseeable future, Dennis knew that they had to get past this. That didn't mean it was easy. The one thing Casey wanted was the one thing he wasn't comfortable offering, even if he wanted to-desperately. 

What was he afraid of? Better yet, what _wasn't_ he afraid of? That she would figure out that in actuality he repulsed her? That eventually his compulsions would drive her away, not just from him, but all of the others? That one day it would finally dawn on her how much possibility her life had, and that she shouldn't spend it with a wanted criminal that could never give her the best that she deserved?

The old lacquered clock chimed midnight, interrupting Dennis's thoughts. Another Christmas, another day. When Kevin was a child, Christmas was a time of reprieve, mostly because extended family would come over and his mother would have to trade her sadism for wreaths and tree decorations. It was only a day, but it was a day of peace. Adulthood never brought with it that feeling of calm, despite the fact his mother had no power to hurt them anymore. Most holidays for Dennis were spent out of the light, letting one of the others celebrate and enjoy themselves in whatever small way they could. But they were not here now, he was.

He could feel Barry at the edge of the light, impatiently prodding like Dennis's hesitation was an inconvenience for all of them.

_Come on, it's Christmas for god's sake. Time to give a little._

He was about to snap at him to get out of the light, but he knew the other man was correct. Casey was such a source of comfort for them all, how was it fair to deny her the little bit she asked for in return?

Slowly, like he was afraid his rebellion against his thoughts would cause reality to rip apart, Dennis wrapped an arm around her waist. Startled, she stared up at him with wide eyes, and he nervously glanced at her from behind his glasses, licking his lips. Before he could lose his courage, he pulled her to his side, letting her nestle into him. “Merry Christmas, Casey.”

“Dennis?” There were ten million questions in the simple way she spoke his name.

“This…doesn’t change anything. It can’t. But…it_ is_ Christmas.” He smiled ruefully. Today the lion and the lamb could lie together, and to be honest, he wasn’t sure if he was the lion anymore. Casey sure wasn’t a lamb.

That was all the permission Casey needed, and she nearly melted against him. He wanted to relax, but all he could concentrate on was not being awkward. Try as he might, his body gave no yield as she sank into his side, and the discomfort of his heart pounding up into his throat was distracting; he was sure she could hear it as well as feel it.

If Casey could feel it, she wasn't processing it, too enamored with her own experience at the moment. Something was coiling around in her stomach, hot and jittery. The feeling was hard to define-not quite nerves, not quite lust, but greedy. It made her fingers twitch and she wanted to bury them in the fabric of his shirt, starched and rough, grounding. Dennis was always grounding. 

Needing more of him, she pulled her legs up to her chest and burrowed deeper, trying to memorize the feel of his rib cage expanding against her with every breath. In a physical sense, she knew this body inside and out, but not…**this** body. This body was still unexplored territory, her very cells did not recognize it, did not claim it like her eyes might. This was the ultimate proof that every alter was a different person, and it was the one bit of evidence that could not be shared with the world, could only discovered for oneself. Dr. Fletcher was revolutionary in her work with DID, and Casey absentmindedly hoped one day the woman would be honored as such.

Her thumb traveled to one of the buttons located near Dennis's navel, rubbed the entire circumference before moving further and resting on the very last button by his throat. His breath hitched and muscles strained against the tight fabric of his shirt, and she itched to pop the button open. Part of her knew that he wouldn’t stop her, no matter how much he may loathe himself afterwards.

In that brief moment of contemplation, Dennis inhaled sharply through his nose, the little bit of ease he had coaxed into his muscles immediately dissipating as he turned back into steel.

Casey felt ashamed. His comfort levels were already pushed to the breaking point for her sake and she was stretching him further still, abusing his trust. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, unfolding herself from his body and placing her hands into her lap where they could do no harm. The second time in as many minutes, what was wrong with her?

Dennis thought to respond, and then sighed. It was Christmas, and he wanted nothing more than to pretend they were two normal people enjoying a normal holiday together. He pulled her back into himself, this time wrapping her up in his arms and resting his chin on the top of her head. “Hush. This is the best part of the movie.”

Casey looked, and on the television screen there were tiny misfit toys singing about Christmas. Her heart broke, wondering how much of himself he saw just then. The rise and fall of his chest lulled her thoughts into something much more gentle and safe, and at some point she fell asleep. She only woke up when she felt herself being lightly shifted, Barry’s spicy aftershave teasing her nose.

“Bear Bear?”`

“Mhhmm?” He picked her up bridal style, getting ready to carry them off to bed. Hedwig would be up in a few hours, surely fiending for the pancakes Casey had promised him.

“Did you convince Dennis to do that?”

Barry glanced at her knowingly out of the corner of his eyes, a smile playing on the edges of his lips. “Baby doll, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”


	25. The Only Way Out Is Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis forces a move to catch the Horde off guard and tries to be honest with Kevin. Things...don't go as planned.

_This is dumb._

“Is not, you’re just mad ya didn’t think of it first.”

_You’re gonna piss her off._

“No I won’t. I’m gonna make her like you.”

Dennis slowly exhaled through his nose, trying not to give Barry the reaction he was fishing for. _She already likes me._

Barry knew this, but the argument had been going on for five minutes and he was prepared to go for the jugular to get his way. He sauntered over to the pan rack hanging by the sink, checking his reflection over the blurry stainless steel. “You did it first.” His face morphed into a grimace and he furrowed his brows. Not bad.

_Is that what this is about? Seriously?_

“Fair is fair.”

Unbelievable. _You know we have more important things to be concerned with right now?_

Barry did. Dennis had surprised both him and Casey the evening before, informing them that they were moving out of the cabin the very next day. That meant Barry was feeling a little high strung, and a high strung Barry was a Barry looking to let off some steam. Unfortunately for Dennis, that usually meant being subject to the younger alter's mischievous inclinations.

_Fine! I swear to god though, if you have me say something stupid..._

Barry nearly crowed in triumph. “Dennis, ya don’t need my help with that.” Fishing his glasses out of their pocket, Barry blinked back tears as soon as he put them on. “Shit, I can already feel a headache coming on. Is this a prescription for the legally blind?” He could feel Dennis snort in the back of his mind, breath cresting over his consciousness.

_Deal with it, it’s your dumbass idea._

One of these days, Barry would get Dennis to lighten up. “You don’t have a fun bone in your body.” 

_Yes, I’ve been told._

Barry folded his arms stiffly across their chest, glowering. “Yes, I’ve been told,” he mimicked. Dennis hated how spot-on he sounded.

The pair became aware of footsteps behind them, and Barry tried not to grin like a loon. _Show time._

_I hate you, _Dennis growled back. Secretly he was curious to see if Barry could pull the facade off, but there’s no way he would give the other man the satisfaction of knowing this.

Gentle hands suddenly touched them in silent greeting, and Dennis could hear Casey stifle a yawn. They had been moving about frantically all morning, trying to get prepared, and a pang of protectiveness stabbed at him as he sensed just how tired she was. He hoped she was in the mood for Barry's nonsense.

“Casey,” Barry turned and nodded to her, trying desperately to keep his eyes from watering. How could _anyone_ see through these things? "Are you done packing?"

Casey couldn’t help but notice his discomfort, concern etching her face. “Yes. Are you feeling alright? Your eyes are red.”

“Might be getting' sick, I dunno. Don’t get too close.” Barry sidestepped as she moved in to touch his forehead. He’d been told before that the alters had their own distinct smells, and while he wasn’t sure if that was true or not, if anyone would notice, it would be Casey.

She frowned. “Let me check your temperature.”

“No!” he snapped, causing her to freeze mid-step. She looked at him with increasingly widening eyes until she decided she was currently too tired and irritated for any of his stubbornness.

“If we’re moving today, we can’t have you under the weather. _Let me check_.”

Again, Barry avoided her, pulling the glasses off in an effort to prove all was well. “I think I’m just outgrowing these lenses, I’m fine, really. Once we settle down again, I’ll find an eye doctor.” 

Delicately picking the glasses from his hands, Casey held them up to the light to check for any blemishes, but of course they were spotless. Shrugging her shoulders, she returned them, satisfied. Dennis blinked inside the chair room, surprised that Barry had actually managed to pull it off.

Of course, Barry couldn’t resist a little teasing. He backed up into the kitchen counter, gasping as though he were on the verge of a panic attack. “Casey, look what you did! These are filthy now!"

“What are you talking about? I didn't even touch the lenses.”

She moved to look again, but Barry shimmied up the counter, trying to get away from her. "Stay back! How am I supposed to see the germs coming for me now? Oh god, I can feel them jumping from you to me!"

_I don’t sound anything like that, you impossible pain in my ass_.

Casey crossed her arms. “Dennis is nearsighted…_Barry_.”

Well shit. Barry knew that, didn’t he? This is what he got for never paying attention at Dennis's optometrist appointments.

“Hey! Ow, no pinching! Stop!” he yelped, completely unprepared for physical retaliation, and backpedaled as quickly as he could away from his girlfriend. “Babygirl, I was just playing with ya, you don’t have to…ow, shit!” Casey had managed to grab hold of a nipple, twisting indiscriminately. "This is not a proportionate response!"

Dennis waited (rather indulgently, he thought to himself) for Casey to finish chasing Barry about the cabin, but his nerves were on already on edge and he didn't have much patience to spare. He finally stepped solidly into the light and stopped Barry's retreat, causing Casey to run right into him. She cried out, nearly falling over from the impact.

“No fair, Bear!”

Before correcting her, Dennis hoisted her easily over his shoulder, heading back towards the kitchen. “Playtime is over, you two. There’s still a lot more to be done before we leave.”

“Dennis!” Casey clawed at his back, trying to wiggle out of his hold, but it was useless. “Manhandling is cheating!”

There was a rumble under her body, like he was trying to contain laughter. “Sorry, I didn’t realize there were rules.”

Gently, he set her back down on the ground before clasping the edge of the kitchen counter and trying to regain some sense of control over the situation. “I expect nonsense from Barry and Hedwig, not you.”

“Well, I guess you know better now.”

He grunted. Or laughed again; sometimes it was hard to differentiate. “How’s the upstairs looking?”

“Pretty much all sorted. I’ve got to run the towels and bedding through the laundry, but once that’s done, we should be good to go.”

Dennis nodded. While he wanted to do a thorough cleaning, that’s what Patricia would be expecting, and his gut told him that she had to have something up her sleeve. If the Horde was planning to make a move, Dennis needed the element of surprise on his side. That’s why he only informed Casey the day before that they were leaving today; the less time Patricia had to find out and prepare, the better.

“Alright. We leave in a few hours. Check and double check to make sure we’ve left nothing behind.”

Attempting to cover their tracks was almost pointless. Dennis had to replace both the window the deer had crashed through, as well as the security system Patricia beat to death on the day of their arrival, and while it looked similar to what was there before, it wasn’t perfect. All he and Casey could do was minimize the damage done by their stay, and make sure nothing tracked back to them.

Casey nodded her consent, eyes gleaming with what Dennis was sure was misplaced optimism, but that remained to be seen. A few more hours, and their new life could begin.

* * *

“If you don’t stop pacing, I’m going to scream.”

For the millionth time that afternoon, Dennis stopped and raked his fingers through his hair, scowling. There were bags under his eyes, so dark it almost looked like he had recently been punched, and his skin color wasn't faring much better “Are you seriously telling me you think the Beast will just let us walk out of here unscathed?” 

Casey nudged a nearby duffel bag with her foot, working through her own jitters. She had started the day off feeling pretty good about the move, but Dennis's nerves were slowly becoming her own as they sat and waited for an Uber to come pick them up.

“Well we have to leave, so if something happens, it happens. No use worrying about it until it does.”

Dennis barked out a laugh. “No use in worrying? Have you even met me?”

At least he wasn’t beyond making jokes, that was good. Casey grinned back at him. "You don't give yourself enough credit. Neither Barry or I had any idea this was coming, there's no way the Beast is going to realize we're gone until it's too late."

As usual, Dennis had been meticulous in his planning. He had opted to travel by bus; planes were out of the question, the facial recognition systems at the Philadelphia and Newark airports would flag Kevin right away. Train stations were also out of the question due to the fact that they were, well, train stations. Dennis had no way of knowing if it would trigger any sort of unsavory reaction in the Beast, so he found it wisest to make sure that question remained unanswered. Of course, sitting in public transportation would leave Dennis practically catatonic, so Barry would be fronting most of the trip. That meant that Dennis had to make sure they had everything in order before they left. Things never seemed to all be in order though.

Even as they packed up their Uber and pulled away, Dennis continued to glare at the cabin, certain that something terrible was going to happen. He refused to relax even as the building faded into the distance, and Casey had to grab his hand to divert his attention.

“On to new and better things, right?” Butterflies were flying rampant through her stomach, but she hadn't felt this full of hopeful anticipation since their escape from Raven Hill. 

Dennis stared down at their clasped hands, suddenly feeling incredibly drained. “Honestly, I’m still shocked you haven’t run screaming yet.”

Casey rolled her eyes, turning to look out the window. "Stop saying that, or I'm going to inscribe it on your tombstone."

"Planning for my death already? That makes two of us."

The sound of Casey's laughter was magical and Dennis could feel himself relax, the knot of tension in his stomach melting from the flood of warmth that had suddenly infused him. His chuckle joined her, and for a few minutes, all was well.

The atmosphere in the car was finally calm, and Casey saw her chance to bring something up that had been bothering her. As soon as they hit the bus station, Dennis would be retreating from the light, so this might be their last chance to discuss anything in great detail. She remained conscious of the fact they were in a car with a stranger, trying to frame her words carefully.

“By the way, Barry told me that you convinced him Kevin didn’t need to know we were moving. Why is that?”

Dennis grunted noncommittally. “Why is what?”

“Why are we treating him like an invalid?”

Dennis chewed on his lip, refusing to meet her gaze. “I’m still not following.”

Watching his brow dip so low it nearly met the bridge of his nose, Casey wasn’t sure if he was trying to play dumb or if he really didn’t think he was being too overprotective. “Kevin's been getting so much stronger. Don’t you think he would find it a bit...demoralizing? To not be consulted about these sorts of things?”

“Casey...” he exhaled, her name barely a whisper on his breath. “I know you must be encouraged by Kevin’s progress, and you should be. We all are.”

“I sense a ‘but’ is coming.”

Staring holes into the back of their driver's head, Dennis balked. He didn't like having these sorts of conversations openly either. “It’s hard to understand how wounded Kevin actually is, unless..." he tapped his temple, as if to say, _you're not in here with us_. 

As usual, they had been through this before, but Dennis had been showing signs of flexibility as Kevin grew healthier. Maybe he would surprise her. “Have you ever thought that maybe you’re too close to the situation to have an accurate gauge of things?”

“Are you suggesting that I’m being irrational?"

“That’s a loaded word. There’s no shame in asking for someone else's perspective, right? Isn’t that what having a therapist was all about?”

At the mention of Dr. Fletcher, Dennis’s eyes briefly widened and Casey realized that she may have just thrown gasoline onto a fledgling fire. Fortunately, he chose to ignore her question, instead turning one on her. “When was the last time you saw Kevin?”

“I…” she wasn’t entirely sure, the words dying before she could speak them. The Christmas season had been a bit of a blur, but if she were being honest, she couldn’t recall seeing much of Kevin at all. She had assumed it was just him attempting to find some sort of equilibrium between himself and the alters, but the look on Dennis’s face was telling a different story. “We spent some time together the day after Thanksgiving, enjoying Norma’s leftovers.”

Dennis exhaled evenly through his nose. “And?”

“And…that’s it, I think.”

Nodding as if he expected no other answer, Dennis almost looked apologetic. “That’s because the holidays hold a lot of bad memories for us. His pain is so close to the surface, anything could set him off…he’s still so weak.” He spoke the words like they were part of a eulogy, and something about it rubbed Casey the wrong way.

“Again, this has nothing to do with being concerned that he might not support the choices that you've been making lately?"

Dennis withdrew his hand, anger and hurt warring on his face, wishing he could escape to the comfort on his chair, but he couldn’t risk anyone else coming into the light. Instead, he shifted ever so slightly closer to the window while simultaneously berating himself for acting like a child. Walling up was still second nature to him, was practically his _only_ nature. Then Casey grabbed his hand again, and something hard and sharp that he was trying to hold onto slipped inside of him.

“I didn’t mean to imply-”

“Don’t.” His voice was gruff, but his eyes squeezed shut in signaled submission. “Barry thought we should be more honest, too, and I don't have the energy or inclination to fight the both of you. If you can figure out a way to fill Kevin in without bringing up the reemergence of the Horde...I wouldn't stop you."

“That would help, thank you so much. Although, maybe you want to be the one to tell him, then? I really don't want to screw this up. For either of you.”

The suggestion…was sensible. If they were all in agreement about disclosing to Kevin, but Dennis had some caveats, why should he not be the one to break the news? Oh right, because the thought of doing so filled him with a sickening dread.

He grappled desperately for some reason to refuse Casey’s request. “That would be dangerous. The Horde is much more likely to overhear us if we’re speaking outside of the light.”

“Is there nowhere safe to go?"

No, there was no guarantee of safety in the corridors of Kevin’s mind, nor outside of them for that matter. Still, there was something they could try, and Dennis could not lie, at least not to _her_. “Tell Barry to behave and remember where he is,” he muttered, indicating that he was about to leave the light.

Licking her lips nervously, Casey nodded and squeezed his hand. They were doing the right thing, so why was she so anxious?

* * *

“Kevin?”

The call was barely above a whisper, meant only for Kevin’s ears. That was the benefit of existing in a state of pure consciousness, one could move about and interact as a ghost could.

Dennis could feel the other man stir beyond the light, and he honed in on the sensation. He found him sleeping next to Barry’s empty chair, arms wrapped around the sheath as though he had trouble getting comfortable. Dennis moved about him like a cloak of fog, whispering for him to get up. Patricia was nearby, but if she was paying the pair any attention, there was no indication.

“Kevin, wake up,” he repeated- not an order, not a plea, just a needing. Dennis rarely needed, so Kevin came to awareness fast. Before he could speak, Dennis shushed him and put an arm around his shoulder. They had to go somewhere; somewhere that wasn’t in the light, wasn’t in the chair room. It would be tricky and dependent on Kevin's corporation, but he could do this. He was the protector.

_They_ could do this.

Despite Dennis’s instance on being quiet, Kevin mumbled into the bigger man's shoulder. “What’s going on? Where are we going?”

“Think about somewhere safe,” Dennis whispered. “Bring us there, and then we can talk.”

They started walking forward into the blackness of Kevin's mind, and by degrees the area around them began to lighten. Soon enough, the pitch black gave way to a soft, manicured lawn, and a dog could be heard barking nearby. The sound caught Kevin's attention and he lifted his head. "Winston?"

Winston had been his grandparents German Shepherd, and at that moment the loyal dog could be seen off in the distance, happily barking at some unseen critter. There was a ranch style home to the left of them, and gospel music floated out of the windows along with the smell of baking chocolate chip cookies.

For a moment Dennis was so lost in the memory he nearly dropped his charge. “Pop,” he whispered, a bit embarrassed over the tears pricking his eyes, but he could see Kevin was weepy as well. They had come to the one refuge Kevin had after his father had died: his grandparents. “Kevin, you did it.”

By this point, Kevin was awake and alert, and slowly disentangled himself from Dennis’s grip. He looked around their environment, tears trickling down his face, and he gave Dennis a watery smile. “It’s almost like being there for real, isn’t it?”

Dennis didn’t trust his voice, so he just nodded.

“Do you think…they knew?”

Why did Kevin always do this to himself? “I’m sure they didn’t. Your mother was too…crafty.”

If it sounded like it was a compliment, it wasn’t meant to be; unfortunately there really was no other way to describe Penelope’s ability to shroud her abuse like some sort of magician. Kevin knew this, just needed to hear it coming from someone else, even if that someone else was…part of him.

“Why are we here?”

“We have to talk, and it has to be private. I didn’t want…the others, listening in.”

“Why not?”

Pointedly ignoring the question, Dennis sighed and waved Kevin over to the Koi pond their grandmother used to tend to. Pulling out his handkerchief, he laid it carefully over the wet cobblestone before sitting down. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired of everyone ignoring my questions, but otherwise I’m great, thanks.”

Dennis pursed his lips, he really had no right to be annoyed with Kevin. “That’s what I wanted to talk about. Casey and Barry insisted you be informed that we’re moving again.”

Slowly, Kevin knelt down besides Dennis, the first tendrils of fear worming their way up his spine. “Did the police find us?”

_No, someone worse. _Dennis had to guard his thoughts carefully; in this place, the hidden was much more easily manifested. “No, we never ran into any cops. We were in a hunting cabin, and the family that owns it will probably stop by in the spring. It was time.”

Kevin shrugged. The reasoning made sense, but surely there was more to it if the others thought it best that he was made aware. “Ok, so why are you telling me? This was never an issue before.”

“You weren’t strong enough to consult before. But now that you’re getting better, well…_it is_ your body.”

Winston ran by, unaware of their presence while happily chasing a squirrel, and Kevin pondered Dennis’s odd choice of words. “My body hasn’t been my own for a long, long time and we both know that. I feel like we’re just dancing around a bigger issue here.”

“You’d be correct.”

Startled by Dennis’s honesty, Kevin sighed. "Just tell me then, please. Is this about why we keep getting hurt?"

Might as well rip the band-aid off. "Ever since we escaped, I've been trying to make things right, use the Beast for some good." The statement was both vague and terrifying enough to scare Kevin, and Dennis could feel them slowly getting sucked back into the chair room. 

"Use him? How do you use him?" Kevin's voice was high pitched, panicked.

"At Raven Hill we were able to merge somehow, and now it's like we're connected in a way I'm not with...most of the others."

Kevin clearly didn't like what he was hearing. "Are you seriously telling me that you bring him out on purpose?"

"It's ok, he hasn't been-"

"What could you possibly be thinking?" If they had been in the light Kevin would be on the verge of a panic attack, and Dennis bit back frustration-he knew this was going to happen. Now they had an even bigger mess on their hands, and the absolute BEST they could hope for was no regression.

"It's going to be alright. Just sleep, Kevin."

Immediately Kevin lost consciousnesses, and Dennis caught him easily as the scenery around them began to dissolve. None of the alters actually had the power to make Kevin sleep, but he was so used to them taking him out of the light in times of trouble that he was easily susceptible to their suggestions. Dennis hated having to resort to it, Kevin's autonomy was too important to his recovery, but he saw little choice.

He was going to kill Barry, the optimistic fool. They had both been optimistic fools, happiness was making them complacent. It was those who remained hungry and dissatisfied that stayed alive, but maybe now Casey would believe him when it came to Kevin and his frailty.

When he got Kevin back to his chair, Patricia wasn't looking at them, but her mouth was twisted in silent laughter.

* * *

At some point during the drive, the sky had grown overcast, clouds threatening to weep over their sojourn. By the time that they reached the motel Dennis had chosen as their resting place, rain had been pouring for a solid half hour, making the trek from the Uber to the second floor of the building rather frustrating. The inundated ground churned up at their feet to reveal a muddy floor below, sucking at the luggage wheels like hungry undines.

Soaked and chilly, as soon as they hauled the last bit of their belongings in, Barry immediately stripped his shirt off and flung it to the floor. While the queen bed in the room was nothing special, the covers looked incredibly inviting and he made a beeline for it, ripping off his Dickies in the process before hoping under the sheets to warm up. He rolled under the covers to generate some body heat, stopping to wince as the mattress creaked loudly.

Casey laughed at the look on his face, hustling into the bathroom for a clean towel to dry her hair. "God, it feels so good to stretch my legs. I hate riding in cars, always makes me feel trapped."

As Barry watched her twist her body around to dry off, desire bloomed in his groin and inched its way up his spine and across his skull, leaving behind little explosions of pleasure.

“Want to get in a little exercise then?" He sat up in bed and rolled his shoulders back, upper traps rising and falling with the motion. Casey often wondered how it was possible for one man to move so fluidly and considered: the Beast, if likened to a large cat, would be a lion. Brief interludes of pure power and might, screaming his will out into the world, letting everyone know they were in the presences of greatness before disappearing for slumber. Dennis was the tiger- strong and beautiful, diminishing, endangered. He was noble in the face of death.

But Barry? Barry was an enigma. One moment a house cat, a warm presence by your side, looking for a cuddle. The next moment he’s a panther, something dangerous and electrifying to watch, stalking smoothly towards that which he has identified as satisfying his hunger. The feeling could be overwhelming, but when pinned beneath his body, Casey always realized there was nothing she needed more than to have him eat her up. Water was forming rivulets as it rolled down his chest, and suddenly her head was swimming. She tripped towards him, allowing him to catch her as she collapsed onto the bed.

He immediately went to help her remove her shirt and join him in nakedness. 

They took their time, having nothing else to do and nowhere else to go until they had to catch their bus in the morning. Barry moved liquidly against her, molding his body to fit her own, sinking into her in so many different ways. When she orgasmed, he had been whispering in her ear, painting a picture of a future that only months ago neither could have imagined.

When finished, Casey stretched indulgently, ready for a nap, but Barry pulled her back into himself. “How does room service and a movie sound?”

While the motel wasn't rundown per se, Casey couldn't help but notice some of the water damage at the corners of the ceiling and the resulting peeling of wallpaper. “I don’t think this place offers room service, fancy as it is.”

Her sarcasm earned her a chuckle and a soft pillow to the face. “Maybe, but that pizza joint down the street didn’t look like it was full of _too_ much salmonella. Think I’m gonna shower and then run over and grab us some dinner.”

Concerned, Casey sat up, her long hair poking up every which way from their tryst. “You think that’s a good idea?”

In one fluid motion, Barry pounced on top of her and leaned down to kiss her nose, so quickly that once again she couldn't help but think of panthers. “If there’s one place in the entire country that wouldn’t recognize us, it would be here. Don’t worry, doll, I’ll be fine, this is as boonieville as it gets.”

Her stomach growled, and Casey knew there was no arguing with him now. "Before you go...how do you think Dennis and Kevin are making out?"

Barry shrugged, unconcerned. "I don't know, want me to grab them? We could have the weirdest foursome of your life."

"Is sex all you ever think about?"

He waggled his eyebrows. "Sometimes I think about Stone Island while we're having sex. Does that count?"

"You're sick."

Rolling off of her, he winked before heading towards the shower. Amused, Casey lay back down and turned on the television to distract herself, absentmindedly listening to the water turn on in the other room. Her skin was sticking to the now messy bed sheets and she felt clammy all over. Joining Barry in the shower suddenly seemed much more appealing than a nap.

Before she could flip off the television, she glanced at the screen one more time and her heart stopped.

Part of her, the part that went on autopilot at the first sign of danger, wanted to yell for Barry, to have him come running and tell her that she was losing it and that what she saw on the television couldn’t possibly be real. Unfortunately, a much bigger part of her was frozen, unable to process what she was seeing, a proverbial deer in the headlights.

She continued to watch the news segment in a haze of terror until the water turned off in the other room. She could hear Barry yelling something out to her but couldn’t make out what it was, couldn’t make anything out over the pounding in her ears. The bathroom door opened, and she was just barely aware of the bed sinking under her as Barry bonelessly collapsed by her side.

The Horde was on the move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I view Kevin's consciousness/the chair room like a dream state, and going there is similar to an out of body experience or lucid dream-kind of fun concept to visit once in a while. 
> 
> Time to learn a little bit more about our hidden antagonist(s), yes?


	26. Be Afraid of Who You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Horde is beginning to close in. Dennis shows them they've got another thing coming if they think he'll make it easy on them.  
Barry, Casey, and Kevin deal with the aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Oh my god WTFIsSheOn", I know you must be saying, "is this another update to one of your stories within a matter of a few days? What _are_ you on?"
> 
> Well my friends, unfortunately nothing. This right here is called shirking other things you should be doing with your life, things like working on character designs for 3D printing WHICH YOU REALLY SHOULD BE DOING WTFISSHEON, in favor of writing stories about a man named Kevin Crumb and his quarter life crisis. 
> 
> It's probably ok, I'd just be doing something else to screw around instead. It's either this or a Dead Files marathon I guess.
> 
> Speaking of Dead Files, why does the Travel Channel play Ghost Adventures/make new GA series like every other day? It's LITERALLY just Zak Bagans issuing ultimatums into the air and then screaming whenever a rabbit happens to move into some bushes next to him. I can only watch that about 150 million times before I start to get bored. 
> 
> Anyway, here's another chapter.

Staring at the television screen made no difference. Those damn words remained fixated on the news ticker no matter how hard Barry tried to peer through them, searching for some sort of hidden meaning while his brain could find none.

The letters themselves started to get fuzzy and then began to meld together, and he realized belatedly that he was disassociating. It was only Casey’s whimpers that kept him from being pulled backwards from the light, and he allowed his body to feel the full effects of the terror coursing through it, a nonverbal summons: _Dennis, come!_

Casey, currently huddled up next to Barry, was knocked to the side as Dennis came storming for the light, fixating on the television with a ferocity that made Kevin’s body swell. It took all of his self-control not to yank the screen from the wall and throw it across the room, and Barry had to grab hold of him to bring some clarity back to his thoughts.

The people on the television were not of real importance, just the standard talking heads of a newsroom-rather attractive, middle aged folks lamenting the current state of the world. In this particular instance, though, what they were discussing was very pertinent to Kevin and those few who worked to keep him safe.

The screen once again looped to the footage that had first caught Casey’s attention. There had been a violent murder back in Philadelphia, practically a crucifixion as some poor sod had been found nailed to a tree.

**MORE WILL DIE, TRAITOR, YOU CANNOT OUTRUN THE HORDE** was written in what Casey hoped was red paint underneath the corpse. Being the nightly news, the worst of the carnage was blurred out, but she had a sneaking suspicion that if the body was visible it would be wearing that bizarre sigil that kept showing up. **GRISLY MURDER, GANG INVOLVEMENT SUSPECTED** crawled under the footage as the camera switched to a press conference with the city police. Dennis turned up the volume, and in that funny way one’s brain can work in times of stress, Casey off handedly wondered if this was the first time she’d ever seen his hands shake.

The police chief had begun fielding questions from reporters. The authorities were still unaware of the gender, age, and ethnicity of the victim, given the level of brutality that had been inflicted on the body, and an autopsy was needed to determine more concrete details. Currently they suspected gangbangers despite there being no tags nearby, and no previously affiliated group referring to themselves as “the Horde” in the history of the city. Police hadn’t ruled anything else out, and they were encouraging anyone with more information to come forward.

“I…how…” Casey’s mind was in a fog, and she fell heavily back against the bed, studying the marks on the wall in front of her, trying to make sense of what they had just watched. The water stains wavered and flickered as her gaze softened into a trancelike state, and she wished she could follow after them as they popped in and out of her vision, away from danger. “Who could have done that?”

There was no response from either Barry or Dennis, and she looked over to see Dennis gathering their belongings together.

“It doesn’t matter,” he responded gruffly, shoving Barry’s still soaking wet pants into a duffel bag. 

“Wait. Where…where are we going?”

“Away. Away from this fucking nightmare.”

Scrambling to grab what luggage she could, she gaped at Dennis. “But we can’t just-“

“Casey, hush.” He reached out for her, his grip on her wrist near painful, and she twisted her body to try to free herself, to no avail. She pinched at his skin and he loosened his hold but did not let go.

“Dennis, stop!”

“We’re in danger.”

“So is whatever other poor souls the Horde will take, if they haven't already!”

He didn’t even turn to look at her, just opened the door and began marching them down the hallway. “They’re going to follow us wherever we go, Casey. We need to put as much distance as we can between ourselves and whoever Patricia has recruited.”

“But they’re going to hurt them.”

“Come. On.”

“STOP!” Casey grabbed hold of the closet doorknob with her free hand, pulling back with all of her might. Finally, he whirled around to face her, and she saw pure panic in his eyes.

“Don’t make me have to drag you, the last thing we need right now is a scene!”

“You’re not dragging me anywhere, I’m not a doll!”

“YOU are the only thing that matters right now.”

Irritation ebbed and gave way to confusion, and Casey allowed him to start walking them forward again. “What?”

“Do you know what it’s like to have the terror of multiple people running through your mind? God, they would never forgive me.”

“Dennis, what are you talking about?”

“The others, it’s pandemonium in here!” He rubbed his scalp, wincing and gestured to no one in particular. “Keeping you safe is my…it’s all of our priorities right now! Yes, yes, I understand Barry, just get everyone calmed down! I can’t…God, I can barely think!” Nostrils flaring, the fear in his eyes softened to something like pleading and his voice cracked. “I’ve_ got _to get you somewhere safe, and then we’ll figure this out. Please.”

It finally dawned on her-Dennis was having such a hard time shutting the others out because he was really, really frightened- frightened _for her_. Reluctantly, she allowed him to continue to move them out into the stairwell.

* * *

It ruminated deep down in her bones before Casey even consciously realized there was a problem. Despite the chill and rain outside, the stairwell felt more like a rain jungle, condensation turning the surface of the walls into a sticky mess. Between the rain, stress, and tumble in bed with Barry, there was nothing she wanted more than a proper shower, and tried not to think about the miserable way her clothing clung to clammy skin. Full of grime and fear, she only belatedly noticed the figure on the stairway, doubled over and lying in wait. Dennis moved to just glide past, barely paying the obstacle any mind, but an arm shot out and clutched the railing, preventing him from moving forward.

“Excuse me, sir.” Dennis’s voice was clipped, the cadence of an impatient man who was doing his best to avoid social awkwardness.

The man stood up to his full height, easily clearing six feet. Covered in all black and reeking of alcohol, his feverish eyes were just barely visible underneath a tattered hood. “I don’t know why you’re in such a hurry, traitor. You’re not getting away from us.”

An eyebrow twitched, the only indication that Dennis had acknowledged the threat. Kevin was not a particularly tall person, an endless source of frustration for the much bigger Dennis; this never prevented him from getting in anyone’s face though, and he stepped right up to the challenge. “I don’t know what you think you know about me or the Beast, but I guarantee you it’s not worth getting on my bad side over. Step. Aside.”

This man, this new member of the Horde, only chuckled at the warning, the promise of confrontation seemed to energize him if anything. “You’ve been given so much and you still spit in HIS face. But now he has offered US his blessings in return for breaking you.” He turned those glassy eyes to Casey. “Maybe we’ll break the cunt too, just fo-”

In the span of a heartbeat the bigger man was pinned face first against the wall, arm wrenched behind his back as Dennis twisted it to the breaking point. “YOU DON’T LOOK AT HER,” he snarled. “You don’t EVER look at her again or I will fucking rip you apart, piece by piece!”

Their assailant whimpered, startled at Dennis's strength, but was not cowed. “You can hurt me, but HE rewards those who have suffered. HE will see my pain and-“

Grabbing him by the hair, Dennis yanked his head back and slammed it into the wall, instantly breaking his nose.

“I am so very sick of sermons.” Dennis's voice was low and deadly calm, hard to hear over the new sounds of choking and sobbing, and Casey felt a chill run down her spine. “Now listen to me very carefully. You can’t break what is already broken. _I _am what holds this fractured body together and _I _beat down your god just like I’m about to beat you if you don’t tell me what I need to know.” His grip on the man’s arm tightened to the point of dislocation. “How did you know where to find us?”

The sound of urine hitting the floor reverberated about the room as the disciple’s bladder voided itself. Instinctively Dennis flinched and shuffled his feet about so he didn’t end up stepping in it, but he pushed his disgust aside, desperate for an answer. “I’m being kind to you right now, but my patience is running low. TELL ME HOW YOU KNEW WHERE WE’D BE. Who is your intermediary with the Horde?”

“I…I…you can’t possibly…”

The stranger was choking on blood pouring from his ruined nose, making it harder to understand him. Dennis lifted the man’s head a bit to give him some breathing room. “Speak up. What did killing an innocent person accomplish? You can't kill me, so Patricia has you take it out on others?"

With a pained growl, the disciple spit blood at Dennis’s feet, clearly having previously been informed of his OCD. “The Beast knows things about me I didn’t even realize myself! He IS a god, and I fear and worship him. You are nothing in the face of his greatness. Fuck. You.”

Dennis almost looked disappointed. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Spinning the other around to face him, he raised a powerful leg and brought it down full force on the man's right knee cap. It buckled like tissue beneath Dennis's boot, caving in backwards, and for a moment the extent of the injury didn’t seem to register, the shock too great for his body to handle.

His screams of agony soon filled the staircase, and Dennis grabbed Casey’s hand and led them towards the exit before bystanders came running or someone called 911.

They didn’t bother to stop and find shelter despite the pouring rain. Dennis did take a few minutes to rip his grey button down off and scrub at the blood on his hands and shoes, but in his mind, the clothing was already ruined. He packed his boots inside the shirt and bundled it all up, tossing it to the side of the highway. Fortunately he had chosen a motel close to the bus station in the very event they had to make an emergency escape like this one, and so they walked on.

* * *

The road west was a hard one. Dennis, now on high alert, initially refused to pass the light off to anyone else for fear of danger, and it didn’t help things at all that public transportation made him miserable. Casey did her best to soothe his foul mood, but most of the trip was spent inside her head with ceaseless worry. Who the hell was that man, and how were they supposed to stave off an attack from two separate fronts, inside and outside of Kevin? Dennis had good reason to be concerned, and she was depressed over the feeling that she might be more hindrance than help.

There was also the fact that the explosive display of aggression and violence on Dennis’s part left her uneasy. She was not ignorant and did not have the privilege of going through life believing that violence was not sometimes a necessity, but she also wasn’t going to pretend she wasn’t frightened by Dennis’s capacity for hurting someone. Even when she was a captive of the Horde, she was still treated with some measure of humanity and dignity, but he seemed to have no issue with torturing the man, deserving or not. She wished desperately that Barry was around, if anyone could soothe her fears it would be him and his gentle manner. Perhaps that was part of the fear: seeing such violence meted out in the body that also belonged to her playful boyfriend, or sweet Kevin, or even a nine-year-old boy.

Fortunately, Dennis was not an unobservant man, no matter what Jade liked to say when she decided it was "pick on Dennis" hour. Despite all the problems weighing on his mind, he couldn't help but notice how Casey was leaning close to the aisle, away from him, making his chest constrict painfully. In the first hour of their trip she had offered quiet words of reassurance, but it would be ignorance itself to pretend she hadn't been affected by what went down earlier in the day, her hand was trembling on the armrest for god's sake. Brown eyes darted to and fro, like she was counting the individual scuff marks on the floor of the bus, or maybe the rotation of the wheels underneath them, anything to avoid acknowledging his gaze on her. He couldn't help but wonder what she was seeing in her head, if she was replaying the encounter again and again, imagining his spine distending and ribs cracking to accommodate the furious form of the Beast. Only today there was no Beast, only Dennis and his red hot rage.

It didn't matter though, there was no other choice that could have been made, it had been decided for him when he promised to protect her, way back when they first found the cabin. It would destroy him to lose her to fear, but better she be afraid of him and alive then dead because he had stayed his hand in a moment of danger.

Despite his conviction, he obsessed, wrestled with the guilt, debating if it was safe enough to relinquish the light to Barry for a bit. He could cool his feverish thoughts, away from the relentless glare of the light, and Barry could console the shaking woman besides them.

Casey had no idea Dennis was even struggling until her reverie was broken by a warm hand on her cheek. She turned to see blue eyes searching hers with worry, not realizing it was no longer Dennis in the light until Barry had tucked his glasses away and tried to offer a weak smile.

"Barry? What are you doing here?"

"Dennis thought ya might want the company, 'cause that was…” he groped for words, physically grabbing at the air like he might find them there. “That was fucked up.” It wasn't poetry, but it was accurate. He pulled her close, rubbing her back soothingly. “Are ya alright, sweetheart?”

“I’m…alright, yes.”

Mouth twitching like a harried rabbit, he quirked a brow in response. “That didn’t sound very convincing.”

“Well...it was kind of scary.”

“Oh babydoll, Dennis would never let anything happen to you.”

“No, I mean…Dennis. _Dennis_ was kind of scary.”

Shock flit over Barry’s features. “What do ya mean?” Day old stubble was starting to grow along his jaw, accenting the dark circles beneath his eyes. Casey knew they were all under tremendous stress and felt immensely guilty for adding to it, she wasn’t doing his disheveled appearance any favors. Wasn’t it her job to _help_?

“Don’t worry about it Bear, we can talk about it later.”

Something between a tisk and a strangled laugh escaped his mouth. “Oh no, ya can’t say something like that and expect me to just forget about it. If something is scaring you, I want to know. I _need_ to know.”

"Well, I meant what I said, and can you blame me? You should have seen the other guy when Dennis was finished with him, I doubt he'll ever walk normally again."

Barry didn't respond immediately. He seemed the picture of haunted, and when he met her eyes again it did nothing to assuage her concerns. “What do ya think he should have done?”

That was the question, wasn't it? There really was nothing else to be done when their lives were being threatened, and it wasn't like Dennis had _killed_ the other man. “I don’t know. I just wish you had been there to talk him down.”

Barry's shoulders sagged. “I wouldn’t have stopped him, babe.”

There was a beat, and then all the color drained from Casey’s face. It made her appear so much frailer than she actually was and Barry sighed, wishing he could take a brush and paint some joy back onto to her features, to her spirit. When they finally settled again, he vowed to spoil her rotten.

“That man threatened you. We all take that deadly serious.” Doe eyes widened in shock at the confession and it broke Barry’s heart. “We love you, Casey. I,” he kissed her nose- “love”- kissed her cheek-“you.” He finished with a kiss to the forehead, so innocent and full of meaning that Casey felt her eyes well up with frustrated tears. There was nothing but sincerity in his words, but something about the sentiment grieved her and she twisted out of his grasp.

“I don’t want to be the reason…” Her mouth snapped shut, like the words had burned as they rolled off her tongue.

Barry wasn’t willing to let it go that easily. Gentle fingers cupped her chin, forcing her to look at him. “You don’t want to be the reason for what, baby doll? You’re not going to hurt my feelings, all I want is for ya to feel comfortable confiding in me. I want to be your safe space.”

Warmed by his affection, her tears finally spilled over, even as she began to relax. “I don’t want to be the reason one of you chooses to…you know. Maybe it would be tempting to…” Now she was the one at a loss for words.

Barry nodded, and his smile was a little sad as he reached out to dry her tears. “Ya think we’d give into darkness again? I suppose that’s fair enough, given our history.”

“No, not you Bear Bear, I meant-”

“I know what ya meant, and I don’t take offense. Now listen here," he shifted in his seat, tucking a leg underneath his body and leaning further into her. "Dennis has made some massive mistakes, yes. But in general? Doll, that man knows how to do his job, he’s been keeping us safe for a very, very long time. Ya gotta learn to trust him.”

Outside the window, the sun was dipping below the horizon, and with it came a massive drop in temperature. She huddled closer to Barry, turning his words over in her head. “Be honest Bear, do you ever worry?”

“Not a day of my life.” They both laughed lightly, and Barry threw an arm around her, the warmth of his body heat calling for her to rest her eyes and sleep. “Seriously though, sure I got some concerns, but the man is doing all he can to make up for his missteps. If anyone is entitled to a little grace, I think it would be him.”

Now she felt slightly ashamed, but Barry cut her off with a tap to her nose before she could express any of it. “And don’t ya dare start feeling guilty. Your concerns are valid, but utterly unnecessary. And maybe most importantly,” he stared straight through her, “he’s never going to learn to settle into you, into love, if ya don’t trust him, alright? I don’t understand a lot about Dennis, but I do know that for a fact. I also know that he DESERVES that trust.”

For a long while Casey sat silently, digesting his advice. Eventually she grinned, a playful smile lighting her eyes. "So what you're saying is I should trust you, the naively open minded one, to also someone else."

“I'm naive, am I? Yeah, great, nice recap there, smart ass. Glad we got that settled.” He lightly squeezed her ribs and Casey swallowed a shriek, cognizant of the fact they were in public. Barry had no such concerns, his laughter rich and warm as she swat at him. She only allowed herself to resettle when he held up his hands where she could see them, promising no further mischief. With a grateful yawn, she nestled back into his side.

* * *

When they finally crossed the state line from Idaho into Oregon, Casey awoke to the hard lines of Barry’s form shifting underneath her body. She hadn’t realized she had even fallen asleep, and it took her a second to become acclimated to the fact that they were still on a bus on their way to god knew where.

“Casey?”

She blinked back the sleep from her eyes, sure she was still dreaming as Barry now sounded suspiciously like Kevin. An arm snaked around her waist and pulled her to his chest with a sigh. “God, I can’t tell you how much easier it is waking up in the light when you’re nearby.”

“Kevin! I've missed you.” She leaned over to plant a kiss on his lips, so excited to see him that the last vestiges of sleep were thrown off like a blanket.

He returned the affection, drawing her even closer so that she was now practically on his lap. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much, I wish I could control my time in the light better.” 

“Don’t be sorry, you’re doing great.”

Encouragement was still a foreign concept to Kevin, and for a moment it didn't process. When he finally understood she actually didn't blame him for his absence, he graced her with a smile, but it faltered quickly. “I talked to Dennis.”

Oh. She had completely forgotten to ask Dennis how that had gone down, too caught in trying to outrun their enemy. From Kevin’s expression, she thought perhaps the news hadn’t been well received. “I guess he explained all of this, then.” She motioned around the bus, and Kevin frowned.

“We didn’t get all that far. What he had to say was…” For a moment it seemed he lost his hold on the light and unexpected silence stretched out before them. Then like a wind-up toy that just needed a little encouragement, he resumed his train of thought. “What he had to say was disturbing. You knew he was bringing the Beast back out, didn’t you?”

Was that was an accusation or a statement? This was the conversation she had been dreading for so long, and the weight of it fell straight into her stomach like rocks. “I’m sorry.”

Instead of getting angry, Kevin just seemed hopelessly confused. “Didn’t that scare you?” 

“No. The Beast doesn’t scare me.”

“But…he’s hurt so many...destroyed so many lives.”

She wanted to say _Dennis has it all under control_, but she couldn’t honestly claim that anymore, could she? “What did Dennis say to you?”

“I don’t…remember exactly, I think I ended up blacking out, and that messes with my memories.” The moon outside the window seemed to frame the sorrow on his face with it's unflinching pale light, and Casey’s heart squeezed.

“He’s been helping people, Kevin. Saving lives, he just needs the Beast’s help to do it sometimes.”

That sounded like the plot line to a terrible movie, and Kevin laughed bitterly. “Doesn’t really matter what they’ve been up to, I’m just a passenger in my own body anyway. It’s probably best I’m not involved.” Before Casey could protest, he slumped down into the seat, turning away from her to glance out the window. “Do we at least know where we’re headed?”

“I don’t. Just somewhere…west,” she gestured listlessly out in front of them.

The lines of anger marring his features softened, and he looked apologetic. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be taking my frustration out on you. I know you have about as much control over Dennis as I do.”

Nervously playing with her sleeve, Casey wondered if she should share her own concerns. “I know he’s stubborn, but I hope you know that protecting you is the most important thing in the world to him. Everything he does is with you in mind.”

Kevin turned to face her completely, running a gentle thumb over her bottom lip. “I’m not sure I’m the priority anymore.” His voice was husky, and Casey’s stomach flipped over the look in his eyes, intense and dark. “Honestly I’m not sure I should be, either.”

Did he know what happened with Dennis and the stranger? There was something in his gaze that was unbearable and Casey briefly ducked her head, unable to meet his eyes any longer.

When she looked back up, she flinched. His nose was practically touching hers, eyes full of wideeyed horror. Her heart very nearly stopped. “What? What is it, what's wrong?”

“I just saw a lady in the back pick her nose and flick it on the ground,” Hedwig informed her in a _very_ solemn whisper. Somewhere off in the distance, a siren wailed and a seat groaned as a fellow passenger shifted in their sleep.

Kevin had gone.


	27. Wrath of Klepoth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Beast tries psychological warfare on Dennis.  
Despite Dennis's concerns, Casey still isn't going anywhere. "Casey Cooke-Crumb" does have a certain ring to it, doesn't it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's what I get for crowing about putting content out fast-got hit with writer's block for a while. The hardest part in writing for me is major transitions, if only because you don't want to bore the reader, but you don't want to hand wave and just magically have the characters where they need to be. It's hard, man.
> 
> Warning, there's a graphic depiction of a lion's death in this chapter. It's only a dream, but if you'd rather skip over it, it ends after the second horizontal line break.

“God, we’re so fucking lame.”

“What? Why?” Casey lay down the paperback she had picked up from the last bus station and turned to look at Jade on the bed opposite her.

Jade was plucking away at some stray eyebrows using a small, handheld mirror. Usually one of the boys would grouse about the redness and irritation when she was done, but just because they were all stuck in Kevin’s body didn’t mean they had to go around with scraggly facial hair, right? Thank god she wasn’t the only woman in there and that Barry had some sense of how to look presentable, otherwise she would have been vetoed on the issue long ago.

“Not you, us. We’re running from ourselves. And not in like in a mysterious, ‘trying to escape our past’ sort of way. No, we’re trying to outrun our own damn self, literally. Tell me how that makes any sense?” 

Casey wanted to ask how anything about their situation made sense, but really her urge to be contrarian stemmed from the fact she had too much pent up energy. Earlier in the evening they had arrived somewhere in Oregon, but where, Casey had no idea; she had slept through the last leg of the trip. Unfortunately Dennis didn’t want to go exploring their new home at night, so she and Jade were stuck in yet another motel.

“To be fair, now there are Horde members outside of Kevin. So that’s only sort-of true.”

“Fuck's sake, why does Patricia have to constantly outdo herself? I didn’t think you could get much lower than dog shit, but she consistently manages to exceed expectations.” Proceeding to yank a hand through her hair, Jade made a face. “You know, I begged the others for years to let us grow out our hair, and now I’m starting to understand why Dennis refused. Am I the only alter that knows what a fucking shampoo bottle is?”

“I’ve got some in my bag, you’re more than free to use it.”

Jade gasped, dramatically clasping her chest. “Case, you are a god damned life saver. I don’t care what Bear Bear says, you’re alright.”

Casey winked, returning to her paperback.

A few minutes later Jade came back out with a towel wrapped around Kevin’s trim waist, searching through their bags for a razor. Dennis was usually on top of keeping them clean shaven the days that he dominated the light and so must have been in a bad way to let it grow out to a five o'clock shadow. The beard was ten times worse than unruly eyebrows, but Jade was used to it by now and absolutely despised that fact. She glanced over at Casey, trying not to feel envious of her lack of testosterone. “By the way, any idea where we’re taking this freak show next?”

Casey put her book down again, it kind of sucked anyway. “You know, I’m not sure. Dennis hasn't been very forthcoming with me, and everyone else is just as clueless as us.”

“Well, for all we know, that means he’s got nothin’ and he’s just hiding the fact.”

“Does he do that?”

Jade smiled wistfully. “Nah, he’s too Type A to never have a plan, that’s why he’s such an insufferable bastard half the time. _Yeah Dennis, great, you’ve got it all handled, now how about taking that stick out of your ass_?”

"Oh, give him a break, Jade. He's dependable and takes care of everyone, doesn't he?"

"Shit, suck his dick any harder and even I'll be able to feel it."

Casey clamped her mouth shut and began flushing, but Jade just rolled her eyes, albeit not unkindly. "Looks like you need some alone time. I'll be in the shower, enjoying some myself, and I _certainly_ won't be thinking about Dennis of all people." 

Her laughter followed her back into the bathroom and Casey groaned and sunk under her bed sheets. Next time Jade needed to borrow shampoo, glue was going into the bottle.

* * *

The minute he realized he was walking the streets of a strangely deserted Philly, Dennis knew he was dreaming.

Well, there was that, and the god damn moon. From what he could recall, the moon didn’t usually have a face full of splintered teeth, or a face at all. He thought he could hear it breathing as it leered down at him, something in its (throat?) making soft, wet sounds. The nightmarish appearance rang familiar, although why he couldn't even _begin_ to guess; surely it would be easy to recall having seen something so upsetting before. It was rare for Dennis to feel unsettled, not since he had woken up to the remains of two teenage girls and their former doctor in his living room... 

_Sorry, I'm so sorry, so fucking sorry, if only i could...if only..._

_If only..._

Dennis walked on. He was no stranger to lucid dreams, but they occurred much less frequently after Kevin had reached adulthood. Patricia liked to place an inordinate amount of value on them, but he had come to believe anything Patricia held dear was worthless. Worthless gods, worthless promises…worthless dreams. And besides, they always kind of bothered him in an existential kind of way. It was the one state of consciousness where he was really, truly alone; no fellow alters to keep him company. It was incomprehensible to Dennis how most people lived their day to day lives like that-alone, lonely. Unknown.

He passed an old deli that had shut down years ago, situated right next to The Trocadero Theater where Jade and Hedwig would sneak off to see the most obnoxious bands known to man. He briefly wondered how his subconscious had come up with this bizarre maze of a street layout and turned a corner, making sure to keep the moon in his peripheral vision at all times. It looked more puppet than giant rock, and its animated features would be almost cute if it didn't appear downright murderous. Had Heinrich been watching those creepy Robert Morgan shorts again? That kid had problems, and Dennis knew problems. Distracted, he just barely avoided stepping into a pile of some drunk's fresh vomit-even in his dreams Center City was filthy.

_Why_ was he here?

In the distance a roar rang out, and it sounded like a call to home, to the zoo. Dennis's heart quickened, unsure if he was prepared to see it all again. What should have been a place of, if not good memories, than at least tolerable ones, was now a memorial to ruin. A memorial to failure. What was there to go back to?

Well...

In that certain manner that can only occur in dreams, he was quickly transported to Big Cat Falls, a favorite location of both patrons and the alters alike. Another roar sounded out, reverberating through Dennis's bones-the cages surrounding him were empty of things living or dead and did nothing to dampen the lion's cries. The cries of an old friend.

And there he was, golden and glorious, all 500 pounds of him: Makini. The African lion had always been close to Dennis's heart, he felt a comradeship with the creature he rarely shared with other people. Majestic and powerful, he was condemned to live as a displaced oddity, surrounded by gawkers who stared and then moved on when they had their fill; simultaneously always crowded and always alone, no one to call his own aside from his small, ragtag pride. 

"Hey big guy," Dennis offered, walking up to the enclosure. Reaching through the cage, he gently stroked Makini's muzzle, wishing he had gotten to say "goodbye" before he ever listened to Patricia. Before he threw their lives away. "Hope you're doing better than I am. I miss you."

The lion touched his hand with a warm tongue, chuffing and panting happily, and Dennis couldn't help but smile. In reality Dennis had always worn gloves around the animals, specifically for safety reasons, but Dennis's version of "safety " was incredibly different than the rest of the staff. The chance of picking up a nasty disease always seemed more likely than being bitten, especially for a non-handler. For some reason OCD could never follow him into his dreams, so now the direct contact was welcome.

Suddenly a low groan escaped the big cat, a foreign sound, and Dennis frowned. Over the years he had heard all sorts of vocalizations from the lions, but never as pitiful as this. Makini retreated and pawed at his face before setting pleading eyes back on Dennis. They became watery, as though he would cry if possible, then water turned to pus and his amber eyes swelled shut. By instinct Dennis reached for his two way radio that all zoo employees carried, but of course found his belt empty. A sudden shriek caused his head to snap up, and he recoiled as Makini's eyes ruptured, blood vessels and mucous running down golden cheeks and drying as it congealed over his mane.

Retching, Dennis stumbled away from the cage and tried not to vomit as the poor animal let out another roar of pain. The lion convulsed, his fur and his beautiful mane disintegrating into nothing. Bones splintered and then completely broke apart, sending Makini careening to the floor of the enclosure. The whimpering finally stopped, but he kept up his labored breathing, fighting death as though there were a way to come back from this cruel deterioration. He kept reminding himself that it wasn’t real, but Dennis still felt pangs of fear and grief as the gorgeous animal fell apart piece by piece, melted away, the brutality making him want to weep.

Then, grief turned to rage. In the mess of viscera left behind, another form began to rise up, bones rapidly mending and flesh stitching back together, the very foundation of Manaki used to birth something else. Something that should not be. The body was covered in gore, concealing all discernible features, but Dennis didn’t need to see a face to recognize that smug laugh rumbling through the creature’s body.

"It's a pity I must go through all of this trouble to contact one I share a body with," it sneered.

“Get the hell out of my head.”

He just laughed louder, and Dennis grimaced. Why wasn’t he gone? "Fine, stay here. I'll go." He moved to leave, but even in dreams the Beast had to have the last word.

“It’s just like you to think that I can be left behind so easily. You’ve always thought a little too highly of yourself.”

Against his better judgement Dennis looked back. The Beast was clinging to the roof of the cage like some kind of spider, and it made him shudder involuntarily. “You’re one to talk about unwarranted self-importance. I'm sick to death of you.”

The Beast grinned, mouth crimson and hot. “I am a god. What are you? Just a man, and one who is riddled with weakness, damaged. Obsolete.”

It was hard not to react. His enemy’s words carried bite and heat, and they rolled over his flesh, causing him to break out into clammy chills. He tried not to show weakness. “Yeah. If I recall correctly, I’m also the one that took your eyes. I should have just gone for your tongue instead.”

The retort caught the Beast off guard and he blinked, the red smile falling off of his face instantly. Victorious, Dennis turned to walk away again, but found his feet would no longer obey.

“Insolent. Prideful. Even now you think you have control, but I rule the domain of belief, and I rule your dreams.” Dropping to the ground, the Beast walked up to the heavy bars lining the cage and began bending them open. “Soon I will once again rule your entire reality. Then I will devour you just as easily as I consumed Claire and Marcia. You remember, don’t you Dennis?”

Dennis tried to move, to defend himself, but his limbs felt like they were lashed to the ground. They began to ache with the strain, but there was still no give, not even the smallest inch. What the hell?

“You’re still not listening.” 

“I don’t want to talk about them.” _Wake up_, Dennis silently begged his body, but it appeared his subconscious had no intention of letting him escape this encounter.

“As you can see, you have no choice.” With one more pull, the bars finally buckled before the might of the Beast, and they shattered into a fine dust as though they were made of powder. “And we both know why you refuse to face this.”

Dennis grit his teeth. “I’ve owned up to my actions, and I know I will never be able to even begin making up for them. The least I can do is keep you under control.”

Almost tenderly, the Beast reached out to run a thumb over his jawline. “We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about why you cannot spare even one thought for the teenagers you offered up as a sacrifice.”

Flinching, Dennis tried to extricate himself from the unwanted touch, but remained frozen in place and could not overpower the strongest alter. “I could never forget them. I…I want to, but I can’t.”

“No, I don’t think so. If you thought about them, it would bring light to that which you’ve tried so hard to keep hidden. And having that sort of self-awareness would destroy you."

“Fuck you.”

“Why them? Why those three young women? Just barely out of childhood, and you chose them as sacred food. Tell me why.”

“It’s what you asked for.” Dennis frowned. What was the game here?

“Oh no. What I need is unpure flesh, there were no other stipulations; My Priestess told you as much. You chose Marcia and Claire, and by extension, our Casey.”

Dennis couldn’t keep the tremor from his voice. “She’s not yours.”

“Don’t deflect. Why did you hunt teenage girls?”

“I don’t-”

“Yes, I know. The eternal refrain of the damned- _I don’t know, I don’t want to know, it hurts._ But you must, for God demands it.”

“You’re not my god.”

The Beast laughed. 

Dennis had to get away, even if that meant breaking his legs apart and crawling.

The Beast knew what he was thinking. “Ah, if only you could cut your filth out of you just as you would a limb or an organ. But no, it’s not that easy, is it? Not even in a place like this.”

_Wake the fuck up!_

“You chose them, because you _hated _them. You wanted them and could not have them, so better for you that they were dead.”

“No, they didn’t do anything wrong, I was…”

“You were weak, and you took it out on defenseless girls.” He pretended to look thoughtful, his void eyes softening in the light of the laughing moon. “Casey has escaped your wrath, but for how long?”

“I would rather die than hurt Casey.” It was a bold statement, and it was one made easily and with conviction. Because it was true.

“Don’t be foolish. You only think that because she is kind to you. If she scorned you, you would just take what you wanted. She’s living next to a monster and has no idea.”

“That’s not…she believes in me. She likes me.” Shivering, Dennis started to think that poor Makini had gotten off easy. He couldn't bear hearing any of this, and his mind still refused to wake up.

The Beast sighed and shook his head as though Dennis had just claimed that the sky was red, or that up was down. “She lies. She loves Kevin, so she’ll tolerate you. Nothing more, nothing less.”

That was it. Even worse than the fact that what was said about Clair and Marcia was true (it _was_ true, and Dennis was a fucking _monster_), even worse was that the Beast was right. Casey only pretended to like him because she was in love with Kevin and with Barry, and Dennis was just part of the deal, like the piece of shit family member you had to put up with to marry the love of your life. One day Casey would tire of him, and she’d finally tell him how she really felt. It might actually be the thing that finally broke him.

Realizing his words had found their mark, the Beast purred in victory. “You finally admit the truth? You know that even now I will be merciful. Submit, let me feast, and you live. I’ll protect Casey from you, from your vile machinations. If he begs, I’ll even spare the Heretic.”

His body seemed to swell in size and he stood back, holding his arms out as if for an embrace. “But if you resist me for even a second longer, I will take so much more than your sight from you. I will destroy everything you have ever cared for, and then chain you back up in the darkness, where you will have to live with the consequences of your rebellion. Forever. Make no mistake, so long as Kevin remains my vessel, he will not die. And neither will you.”

Before Dennis could protest, could even think of formulating a response, the Beast was kissing him, his tongue shoving its way past his teeth and down into his throat. It felt swollen and engorged, as if it contained the blood of every person murdered by this mad god. Dennis wanted to gag, wanted to vomit as the tongue wormed its way further and further down into his stomach, and his chest burned so badly he thought he would explode. Unfortunately for him, fainting was impossible in this place with no oxygen, and he remained there, suspended in agony.

* * *

The sounds of thrashing and grunting pierced Casey’s sleep, and for a brief, terrible moment, she was back at her uncle’s house, just waiting for him to stumble through the door in a drunken stupor. As her eyes snapped open, the glow of the television grounded her, driving away the last remnants of fear. She and Jade had fallen asleep to Black Panther playing quietly in the background, and a quick glance showed that the film still wasn’t over. She couldn’t have been asleep for more than forty minutes.

There was another flash of movement to her side, and she sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She thought Jade had fallen asleep in the light, but it was clearly Dennis who was muttering something under his breath, seemingly distressed.

For a moment, she was torn. If this were nearly anyone else, she would be at their side in an instant, but Dennis had a certain…prickliness when it came to being self-sufficient, and didn’t want to deal with him being in a mood over hurt pride. Still, he was clearly having a very bad time with whatever was going on in his dream. Kevin’s mother, maybe?

Almost reluctantly she rolled out of bed and tapped his shoulder. “Dennis...wake up.” She tried to keep any urgency from her voice so as not to cause alarm, but the sound of him so frightened was distressing. “Dennis!” Now she shook him, wrapping her fingers lightly around his bicep, and that was all it took for the vigilant alter to spring awake, gasping for air. 

Casey flinched. “Are you ok?”

No. Everything inside felt like it had been picked up and shaken, then put back somewhere it didn’t belong. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bad dream." He coughed a few times to make sure his throat really was free of the Beast, but only felt raw, irritated skin, bile rising up as he recalled the nightmare. "I think all this traveling has thrown my OCD into overdrive. It's no big deal, nothing I'm not used to."

Compassion flit through Casey’s eyes, and she sat down on his bed, their outer knees knocking together. “I can stay here with you for a while.”

Dennis grunted, unfocused eyes darting this way and that in the darkened room. “Haven’t you been here this whole time?”

“I meant…sleep next to you. If that’s ok.”

The suggestion sent shock waves to his very center, painful and cold. The initial impulse was to tell her to get back to her own bed, that he didn’t need the presence of another to lull him back to sleep. The dream had left him feeling violated, like he had been ripped open and his sickness would be able to seep out of him and cling to her. If he allowed her to stay, his mind would allow him no peace, no rest.

But the way she hugged herself as she asked, it was almost as a child would approach a parent in the middle of the night and it triggered a protective instinct in him something fierce. Those umber eyes of hers held so much anxiety, though whether on his behalf or hers, he could not say. He took a good look around the room for the first time. The beds were woefully small, much too tiny to accommodate two bodies, so they would be sharing body heat as well as space. How could he say "no" though when she spent the entire trip as if every molecule in her body was trying to get _away _from him? And now she wanted to sleep by his side? It was selfish reasoning, but he was too tired to fight it.

“It’s going to be a tight fit.”

Casey balked. “Excuse you, I’m not that big.”

Despite himself, Dennis chuckled while scooting to the far edge of the mattress and lay back down. “Come on, then.”

She didn’t have to be told twice. Crawling under the covers, she lay so, so close, causing his skin to buzz with electricity. The Beast’s previous words bounced around his head in time with the tingling, twitchy energy he felt all over. One of his fingers brushed up against her back, and he thought he felt a tremor, eliciting a feeling he couldn’t quite pinpoint. This sort of reaction to his touch was a foreign one, so against his better judgment he did it again, tiny goosebumps rising up to meet the pads of his fingertips. There was great temptation to try it once more, but he realized he would probably be reaching Hedwig levels of annoying.

They lay in silence for a while, and every sound seemed to be amplified by the quiet- the blood rushing through his ears, his shuddering breaths. He spoke up just to try and drown out the discord of his pounding heart. “You know...after I…” God, what was he even trying to say?

“After you what?” Casey hadn’t turned to face him, but there was concern coloring her voice.

“I need you to know that back at the zoo, I was never going to…to take advantage of you. I have some really…dark impulses I struggle with, but I never would have done…that. My pride, or lack of it, is not your responsibility.”

Now she sat up, looking over her shoulder apprehensively. “Why in god’s name are you telling me this?”

Old scars were engraved in them both. No matter how much forgiveness Casey preached, he had to know that _she_ knew…he wasn't a rapist. Even if she rejected him, he could never touch her like John had. “I can’t…” his voice broke. It was true, he couldn’t. Not now, maybe not ever. He switched gears slightly. “I can’t help but think you were afraid of me, after I broke that man’s knee. You never have to be afraid of me, alright? I...” he trailed off again. What was he supposed to say_? Hey Casey, I know both your uncle and I share wildly violent impulses, but I swear I’m not like him?_

Rolling over, Casey tried to smile. “I don’t know where this is coming from. I just heard you having nightmares and I thought maybe some company would help. Seems like I’m just agitating you more.”

Outside their door, there were sounds of drunken yelling and laughter, and somewhere further down the hall, a glass shattered. Impulsively Dennis jumped up from bed to check the lock on their door, grateful to have an excuse for not answering right away. He tried the doorknob a few times, making sure there was no give, and jammed the bolt at the top a little harder than necessary.

Bewildered at this random bout of mania, Casey sighed. “Dennis, I don't understand what's going on.”

Even in the dark, she could see his shoulders slump, and he resignedly took his handkerchief out to wipe his hands, slowly making his way back over to the bed. He perched on the edge, feigning interest in one of the many scars lining his torso.

“I scared you the other day.” It wasn’t a question, just presented as simple fact, and he rubbed at another scar as though it were still in the process of healing and itched terribly. His normally intense presence was diminished, and his eyes were flitting from shadow to shadow, anything to avoid looking at her. Casey knew without a doubt her next words had to be chosen with care.

“I was unnerved, yeah. I’ve got some baggage when it comes to violence, if you weren’t aware." Shrugging, she waved her hand as though PTSD were just an afterthought. "Barry didn't think I was being very fair though, and I guess he's right. It's not like we could let him actually follow us.” She laughed lightly, trying to ease the tension they were both feeling, but it fell flat. Dennis was still picking at the white scar tissue decorating his abdomen, and she became concerned it was going to morph into an obsessive tic. “Stop, you’re going to scratch yourself open.”

She walked over and restrained his hands, those great purveyors of brutality. Those hands that were split at the knuckles from constant washing and calloused from labor, from protecting them. She loved those god damned hands, no matter what, and brought his knuckles to her lips for a chaste kiss. “Alright, your turn to be honest. What were you dreaming of?”

Grateful for the veil of darkness in the room, Dennis tried to control the shivers that washed over him unbidden. “I don’t think I can talk about it. Not now.”

This was disappointing, but not surprising. “Then let’s go back to bed. I think travel has gotten the best of both of us.”

He obeyed without protest, laying heavily down on the mattress, the springs seeming to sigh in sympathy with his mood. Casey carved out a space for herself next to him. Hesitantly, she wormed her way under an arm, and his chest froze as though all the air had been knocked from him. “I’m not afraid,” she insisted once again, and her voice was strong with conviction.

Dennis was. Always so afraid, his natural equilibrium was fucked. Fucked, fucked, fucked. He would never give in to the Beast, but couldn't help but imagine a life where he no longer had to think for himself, no longer had to worry about what great evil he was capable of. 

Those were the thoughts cycling about in his head as he fell into a fitful, shallow sleep.

* * *

As Casey came to, she quickly became aware that she was alone, and her first thought was to how Dennis had managed to extricate himself from bed without disturbing her. Whether or not to be concerned by his absence became a brief internal debate, but the sheets was so warm and still smelled like him. Comfort was much more appealing than worry, so she blissfully fell back out of consciousness again.

When she woke up a second time, it was to muttered curses outside their door, and watched through bleary eyes as it slowly opened to reveal Dennis wrestling with multiple plates of food, a few bags of groceries, and a newspaper.

Jumping up to help, Casey relieved him of the bags and placed them on a small nearby table, Dennis nodding his thanks. He held out the food to her. “Hungry? Unfortunately, none of the breakfast seemed very…fresh. I brought you some bagels, they were the only things that didn’t look like they had been sitting out overnight.”

“Oh my god, how did you know? Thank you so much!” Clearly not concerned as to edibility, she reached out for the plates, which he happily relinquished. “So, what’s the game plan for today?”

Gingerly, he sat down next to her, picking out a bagel that looked somewhat consumable. “I got up really early to go do things the old-school way.”

“Meaning?” Casey cocked an eyebrow, mouth full with her breakfast.

“Meaning I think I found us someplace to live, assuming the Horde doesn't cock it up for us somehow.”

It took everything for her to finish swallowing before bombarding him with questions, knowing Dennis wouldn’t appreciate crumbs everywhere. “Already? That’s amazing! How? Where?”

“This town is old fashioned as it gets. Conservative, so a little politeness and conversation got me places. It doesn't hurt that I look the part." He quickly polished off his own food, not realizing how famished all of the morning's social interaction had left him. There was a catch, but the thought of telling Casey made him a bit queasy, the bagel suddenly roiling in his stomach. “Um...there is one more thing.”

“Shoot.”

“We might, uh..." His mouth tingled in the same unpleasant way that always happened when Hedwig ate too much icing on cake, and he felt twice as sick. "We might have to pretend to be married.”

“Hahah, ok.”

He blinked, that was not the reaction he was expecting. “I’m serious. The town’s pastor also happens to be its main producer of dairy products, and operates a sizable farm. He’s been looking for some help, and I was told he was offering a guest house to anyone interested.” A rare blush started to color his cheeks, and he looked down at his boots, absentmindedly deciding that they needed a good cleaning. Oregon was much more arid than he was used to, and it seemed like dust clung to everything easier. Unfortunately it would have to be filed away for later when he wasn’t too busy mortifying himself. “I don’t remember much from church as a kid, but I’m nearly positive he wouldn’t rent to an unmarried couple.”

The corners of Casey's lips turned up slowly, a sly glint skipping around her irises. “Are we a couple now, Dennis?” 

The color in his face deepened as his brows knit closer together, wordlessly informing her he didn’t appreciate the needling. “If that bothers you, I can find something else.”

Bother her? Casey was delighted in so many ways, namely being that making Dennis blush was great fun. She was turning into a goddamned _sadist_.

Since she hadn't run away screaming, Dennis took that as an answer and tried to steer the conversation in a direction that was much more palatable. "Now that that's all settled, I promised Hedwig some time in the light, he's been very patient this morning. Would you mind keeping an eye on him for a few hours?"

Oh no, he was not getting off the hook that easily. “You know, we’ll have to hold hands.”

“Stop.”

“PDA all the time now. How do you feel about Eskimo kisses?”

“Stop it.”

“Would you mind terribly if I hyphenate my last name? ‘Cooke-Crumb’ just has a cool flow, right?” This line of teasing was particularly vicious, but what could she say? Barry was an excellent teacher, and would be so proud right now.

Dennis shifted his weight to his back foot and crossed his arms, scowling. “I swear, I will tell Mr. Pritchard you’re _very_ interested in his thesis on the decline of jidaigeki cinema in the early 90s. I'm sure he'd appreciate the feedback after you've read it. ALL sixty pages, single spaced, or so I hear.”

Casey just laughed. “I don’t even know what that means!”

“I don’t either, but he goes on about it all the time. It's terrible.” He said it with so much conviction that Casey broke into hysterics, bowed over with laughter, and Dennis had to turn so she couldn’t see his smirk. "I'm giving the boy the light, now. You two be good."

Just before he handed things over to Hedwig, he palmed the ring in his pocket that had been retrieved from a pawn shop earlier in the day. Obviously nothing fancy, but it would do to fool anyone at a quick glance, and that was all they needed. He felt Barry stir wistfully and directed a stern glance towards the younger alter. _Don't be getting ideas, this is just for convenience. It's not real._

He tried not to imagine that she would ever want it to be.


	28. Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry makes an executive decision  
Casey and Dennis put on a show for their new landlord  
Orwell has another lead to chase

_Your bruises and cuts_ _  
_ _They're ghosts from the past_ _  
_ _There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide_ _  
_ _The will pain will go away, I slowly _ _realize_ _  
_ _I miss you so deeply, I wanna be where you are_ _  
_ _  
_ _I will do anything, give up everything_ _  
_ _I've seen through this hell in your eyes_

_"Your Witness"-Seppuku Paradigm_

Dennis pulled Barry aside before they left to meet their potential new employer, trying to ignore the pounding of his heart. To have so much riding on the outcome of one single interaction was less than ideal, especially given their...unique situation. Big life transitions could occasionally lead to fluctuating between personalities; stress and excitement were MASSIVE triggers for the System.

When they had first started their job at the Philadelphia zoo it was next to impossible for one person to hold the light for an entire shift, and the only reason they hadn't gotten canned for their "bizarre" work performance was because the hiring and general manager knew of Kevin's condition. The co-workers that had ostracized and side eyed poor Kevin fell to the wayside one by one-usually fired, sometimes moving on to better things, but the System had managed to have the last laugh and flourish in their new role, in no small part thanks to Barry's charm and Dennis's sense of work ethic.

But that job had been orchestrated by the city of Philadelphia, part of a program to help out felons and those who otherwise had trouble finding employment. This new position was riding on the more dominant alters to lock down, and of course the pressure was not lost to Dennis. He hoped Barry felt more confident than he did.

“Emotions are going to be running high. Normally I wouldn’t be concerned about stability, but with the Horde causing panic…” Dennis trailed off, not really wanting to admit he felt too weak to keep a handle on things. When he looked into Barry’s eyes, Barry saw exhaustion. If Dennis failed, it would fall to him to keep order. “Are you up for it?”

Barry shrugged, looking at the faces around the chair room. They were all adults there (well, mostly), and despite the fact they all wore various expressions of exuberance and nervousness, he had faith in the Others. “I think our biggest concern would be Hedwig, so long as ya have the Beast under control.” He paused, clearing his throat. “You do have him under control, right? Haven’t seen the fucker in days.”

Dennis was too overwhelmed to actively be offended, although the nightmare from the night before gave him brief pause. “I do.” 

This was good news, and Barry visibly relaxed, elbowing Dennis’s side. “Good, never doubted ya. I'll talk to Hedwig, make sure he understands how much is riding on this interview. He'll be good."

That was what Dennis wanted to hear, although he wasn't all that positive himself. "If we had finger nails, I would have chewed them all off by now."

Barry laughed, placing a steadying hand on Dennis's shoulder. "You worry about logistics, I've got a handle on everything else, aight? Now listen, I have something I wanna run by ya.”

“We’re not installing an in-ground pool.”

“Tsk. Spoilsport. That’s not it though.”

“No hot tubs, either.”

“Look at you, getting all feisty. Now would ya shut up and listen?"

There was no retort or objection, so Barry took that as a go ahead. "Now just wait for me to finish" he warned, holding his hands out in placation. "I’m not particularly worried about keeping our shit together because I think we should be right_ here_, with everyone else. Kevin and Casey should spend the first night together.”

Dennis bristled. “Last time we did what you wanted, Kevin had a panic attack and, as far as I can tell, is pretty sore with me.”

“Yeah, because he’s feeling out of control.” Trying not to roll his eyes, Barry had to remind himself that he knew this would be a hard sell. Kevin in the light meant trusting that he could handle things for a single evening, and preventing Dennis from scouring the house for security risks (and filth) was like trying to keep Hedwig from hogging the television during Shark Week-wasn’t happening. “It might smooth things over if we give him the lead, ya know?”

"How do you figure?"

"Because we've been making the decisions for him constantly, despite the fact he's become more and more present. Hell, if not for Christmas it would have been three months straight that he was coming in and out of the light. That's huge!"

"Right. Until I ruined it."

"For the love of...how did ya pull criticism out of that? You need therapy."

Dennis ignored that last bit. "You think picking out curtains is going to make him feel better?"

"Oh come on, don't be obtuse. If Kevin is the first one to go forward in creating a new life for us, he'll have a sense of ownership over it, make him wanna stick around and see things through."

It made sense, but Dennis still found himself frowning. “Is he strong enough? New environments are hard for anyone to cope with, let alone someone in Kevin’s position.”

Barry smiled, a most gentle call to arms. “Only one person that can answer that, baby boy.”

* * *

They decided that it would be best if Barry spoke with Kevin. He had been spending more time in his chair than sleeping out by the darkness, which they found encouraging; his rehabilitation was sticking.

When he had fallen asleep, it had been curled up around Ansel. It wasn’t so much that Kevin could see the Others, but he _could_ feel them, each and every one, and was able to draw near whenever he needed whatever it was they could provide. Poor Ansel still had no idea what that was supposed to be, but as he rarely took the light he was all too happy to sleep his days away alongside his creator.

As Barry approached, Ansel stirred first, which wasn’t a surprise. Kevin was the epitome of heavy sleeper, figuratively and literally, while Ansel was quite the opposite, his nervous energy never truly letting him rest deeply. His eyes lit up when he saw Barry, and scooted over so they could share a seat.

Barry threw an arm around the youngest, making himself comfortable. “You taking good care of our boy?”

Now that he was awake, Ansel eyed Kevin's sleeping form, studying him carefully for any signs of discomfort or distress. He couldn't think of anything worse than being responsible for Kevin getting hurt. “I think so. He’s barely moved at all, I would have felt it if he did. Why, is something wrong?"

Barry’s eyes softened. “It was a rhetorical question, I know there’s nowhere safer for Kevin to be than right here.”

The young alter seemed to not know whether to look embarrassed or pleased, so just settled for pressing further into Barry, stifling a yawn. “You’re here for him?”

“Mmhmm. Has he been up at all since he and Dennis last spoke?”

“When did he talk to Dennis?”

Ah. Ansel must have slept through that too. “It's not important. I hate to disturb your cozy setup here, but Kevin _is_ needed in the light. Mind if I borrow him, doll?”

Instinctively Ansel drew back into Kevin, as though trying to shield him from something terrible. Understanding flit over Barry’s face.

“Everything is ok, it has nothing to do with the Horde, I promise. We’re just about to move into a new place, and I think Kevin should be there to help Casey break it in. Uh, so to speak.”

The unintentional innuendo flew over Ansel's head, who currently wasn't above pouting. “Does he really have to? He seems so content right now.”

A pang of guilt stabbed at Barry, how had he failed Ansel so hard? Ten years of existence and he was still so frightened of the light. “Oh kiddo, one of these days you’re gonna take the light and figure out it’s not so bad. Then you’re never gonna want to share, and I’ll have to be asking ya for updates on everything going on outside.”

A crooked smile broke out on Ansel’s face, so very similar to Kevin. “Maybe...I will come out." He glanced around the room furtively, as though afraid he had just committed to something he couldn't take back. "Do you think Casey will stay with me?”

Barry squeezed his friend. “I think nothing would make her happier. First things first though, gotta wake Kevin up before a job interview this afternoon.”

Ansel looked up questioningly but did not vocalize his thoughts, not particularly interested in the details of their day to day life.

Barry stood up and stretched, mentally preparing himself for what might end up being a borderline argument. He didn’t _want_ to, but past experience had shown that this was the sort of situation that required tough love. Kevin had only been getting stronger because he wasn’t running away from reality as much anymore, but all progress would be lost if he reverted to acting purely as a passenger in his own body. He could be as angry as he wanted, this was a hill Barry was prepared to die on.

Unwinding Kevin's arms from Ansel's waist, Barry held him close; long ago he had found that this was the easiest, most gentle way to way to rouse him from a deep sleep. He stroked the other man’s hair, one consciousness brushing up against the other, softly, tenderly. In a voice no one other than Kevin and Ansel could hear, he sang softly to his progenitor, a song he had only needed to hear once to know more than anything that somehow it was written for himself and Kevin.

After a few minutes, Kevin's eyes began to flutter open, and the first thing he saw was Barry smiling at him, smoothing his hair down in the way he always wished his mother would. "Doll, I got something I'd like ya to do, and it's gonna make you feel good, I promise. Just hear me out."

* * *

John Huff. That was the name of the man Dennis needed to convince to hire him. He and Casey were currently walking down winding road after road, looking for the address of the Baptist church John led, trying not to get disoriented. Sure, Philadelphia was also a maze of streets, but at least they all looked different. As far as Dennis could tell, every damn house in these neighborhoods was designed by the same architect, with nary a store or landmark to differentiate them.

It was only a quarter past four in the afternoon and already he felt like he had lived several lifetimes. Casey’s teasing and fleeting, flirty touches were bad enough. But then Barry joined in and Dennis wished he could just lock the both of them up in a room together until they managed to wear each other out with their nonsense. If Casey were to defend herself, she would point out that she _had_ promised to behave when they were actually speaking with John, so she had to get it out of her system now. The hand holding and kisses blown Dennis's way continued.

Countless pinched brows and heavy sighs later, he ended up retreating from the light for a moment or two as Barry and Casey kept walking, going over their fabricated story a dozen times in his head. It didn’t seem like a terrible plan, but gossip was an inevitability in small communities, despite the external veneer of propriety. They had to get their story down concretely or there would be more questions than Dennis cared to deal with.

Fortunately, Orwell was willing to sit in on the conversation with John and make records of everything so it could be referenced in the future, make sure they didn't incriminate themselves down the road by getting their "facts" twisted.

Dennis was so intent on memorizing every facet of their new backstory that he jolted in surprise when Barry came to retrieve him, looking a bit sheepish. “We found the place. And I think you should be the one to talk to him, I don't exactly thrive in religious institutions, if ya know what I mean.”

Barry wasn't exactly well known for his reverence, but this was fine by Dennis. Initially they were just planning on having Barry charm the man while Dennis fed him lines and questions about the job position, but perhaps this would make it easier, less of a chance for the two to get muddled up and confused.

He took the light and gave the church a once over. It was as typical as they came, a little place with a vaulted roof and white paint that had long ago turned yellow from the Oregon sunlight. The handrails looked like a good shake might snap them into pieces, from the passing of time or termites Dennis couldn't say, but it was pathetic either way. Hopefully this job didn't entail working here at all, he didn't think he could handle the neglect it resided in. Wasn't this supposed to be some sort of house of God?

The door was open and they entered with some trepidation; were you supposed to just walk into a church? It's not like they had an appointment, but the man at the Farmer's Market that Dennis had spoken with claimed that John spent every weekday afternoon in the church office and was well known for his willingness to entertain guests. Besides, it's not like they had much of a choice, they still were without phones. Maybe if this worked out they could change that, but until then they had to do things the old fashioned way. Once Dennis would have claimed he preferred it this way, but his time as a fugitive had quickly taught him how he took modern conveniences for granted. Seriously, what did people on the run do before Uber?

The inside of the church wasn't kept much neater than the outside, but at least the carpets appeared clean, and his sinuses didn't tell him otherwise. The chapel was located to their left, but barring that it wasn't apparent which direction to head. Dennis quickly took in the layout of the rest of the immediate area, there were only so many places to go. He motioned for Casey to follow him forward, and after a minute it became clear that was the correct choice, the sound of rapid typing coming up to meet them from around the corner. 

They found the office door was wide open, but Dennis stopped at the threshold and gave a few polite knocks with his knuckles. The man, presumably John, had been writing something with an intensity that Dennis found out of place for their peaceful setting, but when he looked up from his screen the muscles in his face were relaxed.

He couldn't have been any older than fifty, if his head full of dark hair and the hardness of his body were any indication. Perhaps even younger, it was obvious he spent a lot of time in the sun and had the skin damage to prove it, his face heavily lined around the eyes and mouth. Despite it all, his face was not unkind.

"Can I help you folks? Please, take a seat," he offered, standing up to greet them. 

Walking up to the desk, Dennis proffered a handshake while cringing inwardly. John's hands looked to be stained and there was an oily sheen to his skin that Dennis really did not like. His own flesh was going to itch until he was able to whip out the sanitizer, but he managed to keep it together, trying not to show any outward signs of weakness or his OCD. He couldn't be positive, but he was pretty sure that wasn't a desirable quality in a farm hand. "Mr. Huff?"

“Yes sir,” the pastor smiled, pumping Dennis’s arm. His own grip was firm and not nearly as slick as it looked, so Dennis relaxed a bit. “Who do I have the pleasure of speaking to?”

Introductions were made, Dennis only offering the barest details he thought he could get away with while still satisfying the other man's curiosity. Without a second thought he had introduced himself as "Dennis Clarence", assuming it would be fine so long as they could keep their names straight. Besides, the world was looking for Kevin Crumb, the more they got used to using another name, the better. Casey was introduced as his new bride, and they were now looking for a place to settle down after having lived in the northeast all their lives (there was no way Dennis could remember to reliably hide his accent, so some concessions to truth had to be made).

"The rent is four hundred a month, ‘though I suppose we can work somethin’ else out if you're willing," John explained. "This congregation keeps me busier than I'd like, having some help 'round my farm would be ideal. You handy with tools, Dennis?”

Dennis couldn’t help but smile a little. “You could say that. I’ve worked Maintenance for years.”

“By the looks of you, I can’t say that’s a surprise. I’ll show you the place if you want. It’s not much, but it’ll do fer a small family. You have children?”

Dennis did a double take. Did a perpetual nine-year-old in his head count? “Uh, no sir.” His arm snaked around Casey's waist, unexpectedly pulling her close. "We've only been married for a few months now, we'd like to get settled before children enter the picture."

Did the room just get warmer? Casey played with the small ring on her finger, twisting it around and around.

John hooked his thumbs through the loops in his jeans, yanking. “Just as well, just gave the place a fresh coat of paint or two. Don't need little tykes messin' it up so quickly now.”

For a moment there was silence as he regarded the pair of runaways carefully, then shrugged. “Working a farm ain’t easy, but I pay competitively and if you want the guesthouse, it’s all yours."

Casey and Dennis looked at each other in surprise. While this all made things much easier, it set off alarm bells. Had they accidentally stumbled onto Oregon’s version of the Sawyer family? Dennis enjoyed cleaning furniture, he didn’t so much want to _become_ it.

While still displaying a veneer of politeness, Dennis voiced his concerns. “Just like that? No background or credit checks?” 

“First month’s rent up front, cash or check. If you can afford that, I’m fine with you movin' in as soon as you’d like.” John waved his hand, clearly oblivious to Dennis’s concerns. He was either a really good actor, or he and Dennis weren’t even thinking on the same wavelength. 

There was one more thing though. Dennis cocked his head, studying a crucifix on the wall behind John intently. “How far are we from Portland, sir?”

“Ah, about thirty minutes by vehicle. The lease on the rental is for one year minimum, so if you're thinking about relocating soon-”

Dennis cut him off quickly, didn't want to seem _too_ interested in anything outside of their new home. “I don't think that will be an issue. We wanted to get away from city life, needed a change of pace.”

John nodded sagely. “If this were twenty years ago, I’d ‘a said coming here was as good a move as any, but I’m afraid it ain’t that simple anymore.”

“What do you mean?” his voice remained even, but Casey could feel his pulse quicken in his palm and she squeezed it reassuringly.

“This used to be a nice little town, but Portland’s been seeping in ‘ta our way of life for years now. Hell, just last month a few of our teenagers went missing, and I’ll bet my last dollar they ran into some traffickers. I knew ‘em, they were good kids too. Shame.”

Casey and Dennis shared a look of concern, and Casey bit her lower lip, once again wondering what the fuck was wrong with people. She couldn't help speaking up. “Portland has a human trafficking problem?”

“Well, I reckon most big cities do.” John sighed and seemed to age ten years, looking Casey over with something like concern. “Now I don’t mean to overstep, but I don’t think it would hurt for the young lady to own some pepper spray, just in case. This is a nice little town, but I wouldn't feel right if I weren't honest with you upfront.”

The smallest smile turned Casey’s lips upwards. She _really_ shouldn't, but.... “Call me overconfident, but any kidnapper would have their hands full with me. I'm not concerned.”

Dennis blanched and tried not to vomit all over his shoes. Yeah, she overdid it, so quickly clarified. “I mean, I grew up with guns. I’m not a bad shot under pressure." The unspoken conversation between them seemed to go unnoticed by John, who just smiled wide; he was missing his bottom two teeth and Casey tried not to stare.

“Well, you’ll fit in just fine then. I can tell I like you two already. What do you say?”

Casey took the opportunity to peck Dennis’s cheek in a celebratory fashion, and he smiled briefly at her before holding his hand out for another shake. “What time do you expect me for work?”

* * *

John had provided them with an address and a time to meet at their new home, giving them the opportunity to gather their belongings. Casey was ecstatic, but Dennis was too busy thinking practicalities to celebrate. The house was apparently furnished, but each and every item would have to be gone over thoroughly to make sure they were up to his standards of cleanliness. Security absolutely had to be a priority with these new Horde nutjobs running about, and of course all of this would have to wait with Kevin coming around. The list of things he needed Casey to do in his absence was endless.

He pulled her aside after they were finished packing, but before he could speak, Casey hugged him. “It’s incredible how fast you turned this around for us. Thank you.” She smelled of mango, dusty from their time spent in that dilapidated old church, and Dennis's throat hitched at her touch. For a moment he had a hard time replying, unused to being thanked and unsure of what a gracious response entailed.

"You're welcome," was all he came up with.

Casey noticed the hesitation hiding behind his eyes. “Is something wrong?”

"Not wrong, just...complicated." He rubbed at his scalp, the scent of berries wafting through the air. God damn it, Casey had to stop letting Jade borrow her hair products. Shampoo, conditioner-more things to add to the growing list. "Kevin is going to take the light tonight, once we get settled in. I’m not sure how he’ll react to a brand new environment, but he agreed to front. I just…wanted to give you a heads up.”

"Oh my god, that's great news!”

Of course Casey thought it was wonderful, she _believed _in them. Despite proving it time and time again, Dennis always had a hard time making the thought stick. Warmth spread through his chest, and he pulled her to himself, kissing her forehead gently. “If you two need anything, I won’t be far. Barry is going to have his hands full wrangling the rest of the Others into compliance, but I'm going to keep watch over you and Kevin. Might have some unexpected switching off from time to time, but nothing to worry about.”

Thankfully, Casey chose not to bring attention to the kiss. "Of course, he'll be fine. _We_ will be fine. What are you going to be doing?"

_Pass out, if I'm lucky. _"Probably going to meet with the Others, it's been a while since we all spoke as a group."

For a moment, Casey felt an intense jealousy. To be able to see all of her friends simultaneously would be incredible. But of course, they were the way they were due to horrible abuse, wishing to be part of their inner circle seemed masochistic, obscene. Despite that, wistfulness was written all over her face, not escaping Dennis's notice.

"Did I say something to upset you?"

"No, I was just thinking silly thoughts. It's not important."

He raised a brow but didn't push the issue. Instead, he produced what looked like a folded piece of paper from his back pocket. “By the way, Orwell asked that I pass this along. Wasn’t very happy I insisted on sharing the light while he wrote, but I promised I wouldn’t look.”

Casey took the note, written on some sort of napkin. Both sides contained Orwell’s scrawling penmanship, and she unfolded it in amazement to see it just kept on going. She looked up at Dennis, bewildered. “What does it say?”

The question seemed to slightly offend him. “I don’t know, I didn’t watch. I _am_ a man of my word.”

She looked back down at the note. 

_My dear Casey, the Watson to my Holmes,_

_Did you know that Sherlock Holmes was inspired by a genius of a man by the name of Dr. Joseph Bell? He was a Scottish physician and was well known for possessing the ability to just look at a person and deduce certain facts about their life, such as occupation and vices. He was cannily accurate to the point that the police often consulted with him to help solve cases, just like the titular Holmes. He even offered the Scotland Yard his assistance and expertise with the Jack the Ripper investigation, although we both know what became of that, or rather, didn’t become of it. Despite what Patricia ascertains, no one can be perfect._

_I do apologize for the perfunctory nature of this note _(Casey had to pause at this),_ Dennis is making it a point to rush me. The man spends all hours in the light, but heaven forbid someone else request to use it! I do miss when Barry was in charge of divvying up our allotted shares, ever since that god damned Beast came onto the scene, it’s been nothing but the chair room for days at a time! The animals back at the zoo had more freedom than we do. Frankly I don’t care what Dennis says, it can’t be so dangerous for us to be out and about that we’re treated little better than criminals. If anything, HE should be the one stuck in here. Was I not the one that ultimately helped free us from Raven Hill? I should think I have proven myself and my capabilities to a fault, but there is no accounting for someone as bullheaded as Dennis. I am only too grateful that you, in all your young wisdom, can appreciate what I have to offer to the cause._

_But I digress, my dear, I digress._

_I am simply touching base with you to make you aware that I have another idea with which we may tame the Beast and be rid of our burden once and for all. With the Horde expanding and accelerating, I fear that the longer we wait, the faster disaster encroaches upon us. As soon as we are settled in our new abode, we will talk more on it._

_I pray we speak soon,_

_Orwell_

Folding the napkin back up, she glanced over at Dennis, who was doing a decent job at pretending he had no interest as to its contents. “He only spent about half the letter trash talking you."

Dennis just snorted. “Better than expected. You have everything packed up? Our ride will be here any minute.”

They had told John they left their phones on a bus in an incredibly hurried rush to make one connection to another, so calling for transportation was out of the question. He graciously offered to pick them up from the motel and show them to the rental, but when the car arrived it appeared he ended up sending his wife, Dorothy. Pulling up, she seemed none too happy with the task at hand, but one look at Dennis changed her tune, quickly. Dennis couldn't figure out why she kept checking the rear view mirror the entire ride, or why Casey seemed to be focused on swallowing her laughter. Try as he might, Dennis couldn't find one thing worth laughing about the entire trip over and sat in puzzled silence. For some reason, every time Casey looked over at him, she seemed to have another fit of giggles. He chalked it up to nerves.

The guesthouse was located near what was presumably John and Dorothy's house, although it was still far enough away to maintain some semblance of privacy. It was a smaller brick building, a far cry from the cabin they had been staying at, but that suited Dennis just fine; less to manage that way. 

A wooden porch wrapped around the east side of the house, and as soon as they set foot on it (waving Dorothy a goodbye), Barry placed his luggage down none too gently and and spun Casey around, elated. “This is it, baby girl! Just how I pictured it. The dream home!”

"Oh please, it is not. It's not nearly large enough for you or your ego, Bear."

He winked at her. "Eh, it's got walls and a roof, we'll make it work."

Casey moved to unlock the front door, eager to explore, but Barry stopped her with an amicable arm around her waist. “Now listen here. I know Dennis probably already filled your head with a bunch of nonsense and list of things to do, but this is important. You gotta find the biggest room and claim it as our art studio, aight? If ya don't, Hedwig is gonna find it and then we'll be left with a broom closet or something.” He peppered her neck with kisses, and she squirmed in his arms, giggling. 

"Barry!"

"Why are you laughing?" His fingers found their way to her ribs, ensuring she didn't stop. "Come on, be serious for a second!"

Gasping, Casey nearly managed to wiggle out of his arms, trying not to flail about like a lunatic. “Dorothy might still be looking!”

Oh, Barry hoped so. “We better give her a show, then.”

They wrestled for a few more seconds, Casey gleefully trying to evade Barry’s ticklish onslaught of affection until their feet got tangled up together and she lost her balance. Quick reflexes on Barry’s end saved her from a hard fall, but she still found herself pinned down against the floor of the porch, staring up at a much calmer Barry. There was still laughter in his eyes, but the intensity of his expression made her feel exposed in a manner she couldn’t quite pinpoint and she glanced away. He brought her gaze back to his own with a gentle hand to her cheek.

“Babe, we’re gonna make this place our own, just you wait, it'll be perfect. Anything ya want, it's yours, I swear it.”

The sudden lump in her throat matched one forming in her chest, but Barry kissed it away. “Now don’t be keeping Kevin up all night, we got some decorating to do tomorrow.”

When their lips met again, she could already tell Kevin was in the middle of transitioning over. What started as hungry morphed into something gentle and soft, and when they broke apart, Casey looked up into sky blue eyes searching for assurance that everything would be alright. She smiled so hard her face hurt.

"Welcome home, Kevin."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Barry sings to Kevin ([Your Witness](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VDui6OjGlk)) is from the only horror movie that has ever made me want to sob like a little girl by the end. Sooooo bittersweet. If there's a better song for Kevin and the Others, I've yet to find it.


	29. Split, Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry and Dennis get blindsided by Jalin  
Kevin and Casey spend the night together
> 
> TW for frank discussion of sexual abuse

When Barry approached Kevin about fronting for their first night at the new house, Kevin wasn’t sure what to feel, other than it was a lot. Fear, pride, and annoyance mostly; but despite any negative emotions that surfaced, he knew he owed it to Casey to try. He owed it to himself to try.

As he headed for the light, the sensation of Casey's lips on his own driving him forward, he could feel Dennis brush up against his side. _I’ll be around if you need me_, he had murmured, and then just as quickly his presence diminished to the point where it was barely detectable. But it _was_ still there, always.

Kevin kind of wished Dennis was in the light with him now, what with Casey looking at him expectantly, with an expression he didn't know how to interpret at all. They had been unpacking, and she kept sending him little glances, making his heart pick up speed. He tried to smile. “What is it?”

“Are you angry with me?”

He blinked. “What? No, of course not. Why would you think that?”

It appeared she didn't really know herself, hesitancy in her voice. “When you left so suddenly on the bus, I thought maybe you were trying to cool off. Because I was defending Dennis and his recent...choices.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Slowly folding up some bath towels, he felt torn. Knowing that she had been left in the dark shamed him, but fluctuating in and out of the light was as natural to him as breathing. It wasn’t something he did consciously, it was just… done for him.

“I’m sorry, if I had known you were concerned, I would have made a better effort to reassure you. I’ve not been very stable since Christmas, and then there was the thing with Dennis, and- “

“Kevin, relax.” Casey was there, rubbing his back soothingly, and he glanced down at her gratefully.

“Are _you _mad at _me_?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Oh.”

This was all hard to process. He had made her uncomfortable, but she wasn’t angry? How did that work? Deep inside he knew Casey wasn’t like his momma, wouldn’t lie and say everything was all right just so he would let his guard down. Penelope enjoyed that to the nth degree-watching him lower his physical and emotional defenses before she tortured him-it hurt just that much worse, and she knew it. It was why Dennis was so good at playing the part of brick wall when he needed to.

"Are you ok?" Casey’s hand was feather light on his face and he wished desperately for the millionth time that he was somewhat normal, the type of man she deserved. Moving into a new place shouldn't be so emotionally harrowing.

“Sorry. I feel exposed, being out and about right now. I don’t know why Barry thought-”

“Hey, it’s ok, it’s fine. Why don’t we table the unpacking for now and-“

A knock on the door made them both jump, and Kevin raised an eyebrow, his grip on Casey’s forearms tightening. “Were we expecting someone?”

“No.” She also seemed surprised, but not concerned, so Kevin relaxed slightly. He watched her move to the door as she gave him a brief rundown. “If it’s John, just know that he thinks we’re married, your name is Dennis Clarence, and we’re from Massachusetts, alright?”

He nodded slowly, hoping against hope he wasn’t called upon to perform. He could feel Dennis stir slightly, but mentally reassured him. This was just a neighbor or something, nothing he required protection from. He quickly moved from the door’s line of sight, listening to Casey greet whoever was on the other side.

“Mrs. Huff, hello! We weren’t expecting visitors so soon, I would have gotten the tea pot out,” he heard her apologize. Thank God _that_ hadn't happened. There were lots of things about missing out on life that Kevin regretted, but tea with nosy neighbors was not one of them.

“Hello my dear.” Their visitor was another woman, sounded a few decades older than Casey, from what Kevin could tell. “Please don’t worry yourself, I just swung by to drop off dinner. I know how difficult it is to get a proper meal in the middle of a move. How are the two of you settling in?”

“That’s very kind, thank you." Casey paused a moment and Kevin could hear jewelry clinking from where he stood. This Mrs. Huff must be rich, or flashy. "We’re settling in fine, almost done actually.”

More sounds of braclets as the other woman clapped her hands. “Wonderful! That’s just what I wanted to hear. And where is Mr. Clarence?”

“Uhh…he’s taking a look at some pipes in the basement, I think.”

Kevin could hear their voices fade as Casey walked out to the front porch and shut the door behind her. His shoulders sagged in relief, bullet dodged. Despite being a part of him, Kevin didn’t really believe he could pull off a convincing Dennis.

Casey soon came back with an aluminum covered tray, the smell wafting from it making Kevin's mouth water; when was the last time he had a real meal? Months at the very least. She noticed his eyes light up and happily relinquished the plate to him, and it took him no time to get the food set out- chicken and potatoes. They dug in gratefully, famished.

After dinner they found some beeswax candles in the bathroom and decided to keep the electricity off, instead building a comfy nest of pillows and blankets on the floor of what Casey decided was the master bedroom. There was no point in cleaning, Dennis would want to go over everything himself, not to mention Hedwig had not picked out a room for himself…so getting everything completely sorted was next to impossible.

Instead they spent a few quiet hours cocooned in their blankets, Casey filling Kevin in on the more domestic dealings that had been going on since Thanksgiving, making sure to avoid the subjects of the Beast or Dennis’s ambitions. Kevin listened thoughtfully, only moving to get up and retrieve more food. _Like millions of average couples do every day_, he mused to himself.

It felt nice to be average.

* * *

Kevin and Casey…seemed alright. Determining that it was impossible for them to get into much trouble just by enjoying dinner, Dennis finally relaxed and retreated further from the light, turning his attention to his fellow alters. Hedwig was in his space immediately, pouting furiously.

“Oh my god Mr. Dennis, you married Casey without me?” His face was a comical mixture of disbelief and anger, and Dennis felt his mouth twitching, knowing that if he laughed, there would be hell to pay.

“No, I did not.”

“But you told that pastor guy that we…you were married! Don’t lie to me, that’s not very nice, et cetera!”

“I don’t lie to you, Hedwig.”

“I’m gonna tell Casey!”

Jade was there too, rolling her eyes. “Dennis_ is_ telling the truth, they were just pretending to be married. It was like a game.”

_That_ was not the right thing to say. Leaving Hedwig out of a game was almost as bad as leaving him out of a wedding. “You were playing without me?” he whined. “Can’t I play too?”

Trying to avert an incoming fit, Barry headlocked the boy, subjecting him to a noogie. “Of course ya can. Wanna pretend to be the Flash? Dennis and I need everyone here ASAP. Think ya can do that?”

Dennis snapped his head up, irritated. “Barry, what the hell?” They needed order in the room, not Hedwig running around like a crack addict, but the magic words had been said and Hedwig was long gone, zipping from alter to alter to pass along the message.

Barry didn't see an issue. “Calm down, he’s gonna wear himself out.”

That seemed unlikely to Dennis, but it was out of his control now. Instead he stood by Barry’s side, watching the others slowly trickle over to them. His eyes narrowed when he noticed Jalin, who had an air of blistering rage that screamed trouble. The last thing they needed right now was dealing with broseph’s attitude, but Dennis held his tongue. No point starting something that wasn’t a guaranteed fight.

Of course, Jalin rarely disappointed. As soon as the majority of the alters were present, he let the pair know exactly what he was thinking. “Nice of the two of you to grace us with your presence. What can we do for our lords and masters tonight?”

The remark came as a surprise to Barry and he frowned at the vitriol, but before he could try and deescalate the situation, Jade was by his side, bristling like a pissed off cat. Despite hurting him terribly when she ended up siding with the Horde, the two had mended bridges and remained close. As far as Jade was concerned, the only one allowed to give Barry a hard time was herself.

“Eat shit, Jalin, no one asked you to come here if you’re just going to start some drama.” She eyed him up and down, daring him to snap back.

Energized by Jade’s anger, Hedwig took the opportunity to jump in. “Yeah, go fuck yourself, Jalin!” He had no idea why the younger adults were fighting, but by god they weren’t going to leave him out of it. Jalin was kind of mean to him, anyway.

This was quickly turning into a fight, and Jalin loved a good fight, if only because it was one of the few outlets he had for his raging machismo. He sneered. “Hop off Barry’s dick Jade, it’s creepy.”

For a moment, Jade looked like she was about to scratch his eyes out, but calmed herself when she realized he might enjoy the attempt. “Why are you being such an asshole today? Forget to use a butt plug with a base?”

Dennis was about to step in and break them up, but Barry beat him to it, _furious_. “Are we really going to be doing this self-sabotaging shit right now? We’ve been doing so well, what’s gotten in to all of you?”

Jalin was in Barry's face, growling. “My problem is THAT douche wad!”

Barry didn’t really need to look to see who Jalin was pointing at, but did anyway to see a tight lipped Dennis glaring right back at the younger alter. If Jalin meant to intimidate, he was doing a terrible job of it.

Dennis suddenly stepped forward, causing Jalin to stumble back in surprise, bravado briefly evaporated. Dennis steadied him with a hand on his shoulder, but his grip was tight. “You got a problem with me, it’s between us. Don’t take it out on anyone else.” It was a warning, and Dennis usually only offered them once before making good on his words.

Heat began creeping up Barry’s neck, a mixture of anger and shame. Dennis already took on so much for them all, he didn’t need to deal with this as well. THIS was Barry’s job. Taking a few deep breaths, he tried to center himself. It would do them no good to have an angry mediator. He tried to keep his voice light. “Why are you angry with Dennis?”

Jalin looked incredulous. “Bro, the entire reason we’re even living in Bumfuck, Nowhere is because of him and that crazy bitch who can’t even be bothered to associate with us anymore." He flipped off the darkness behind them, presumably where Patricia was communing with the Beast. "They upended our entire lives, took us from the only home we’ve ever known, and now he’s hogging all the time in the light so he can try and get his dick wet!”

No one stepped up to dispute the charges against Dennis (fair or not), but Samuel felt the need to say _something_, offended at Jalin's audacity. “If Samuel's remembering correctly, you ended up joining the Horde as well. He would be very careful with the accusations if he were you. They make you sound like a dumbass.”

“Good thing I didn’t ask your opinion then, Saint Samuel. A LOT of us joined the Horde, so you can suck my dick. Blame me all you want for trying to read the room correctly, but I NEVER instigated any of this!”

“THAT’S ENOUGH!”

Everyone froze, not so much as a blink from the entire room. Barry rarely raised his voice, so when he did, people took notice. But despite his outward display of anger, he couldn’t help but feel responsible. Jalin was right-they had lost the chance to live out the rest of their lives in relative comfort because of the actions of a few, and Barry had been so preoccupied with keeping them safe (and, if he were to be honest, the fact he was crazy in love), that he had not noticed tensions rising.

“Aight, I’m pulling rank. Sit down and shut up, every single one of ya.”

He waited, with some impatience, as everyone went to their chairs, some more sullenly than others. Dennis took his seat by Jade, inhaling sharply. He was in battle mode, arms locked around his chest in defiance, and Jade gave him a wide berth, clearly realizing he was in no mood for any smart remarks on her end.

Barry looked over the sea of faces, the ones he loved dearly and knew returned his affections, angry or not. There was another person there who deserved their love as well, one who continually pushed them all away for their own sakes, and Barry wouldn't stand for it anymore, it was time to clear the air.

He paced, rubbing his neck with nervous agitation. Where to begin? “You all have a right to be angry, but you’re directing it at the wrong person. Keeping things together is my job and I haven’t been very good at it lately. I’m sorry. We're gonna make it right though."

There was a huff of irritation near the back, and Ian twisted this way and that in his seat, anger not letting him settle. “Come off it Barry, you’re not the one that played the maggot. We don't need your apologies.”

Barry's attempts at diplomacy were already falling apart, but he wasn't giving up. “So we're just gonna gang up on one of our own? Dennis fucked up, sure. That doesn’t mean we’re gonna make him the sacrificial lamb for the rest of our lives. He's been fighting for _months_ to make this right.”

“I don’t need you speaking for me,” Dennis snapped, but it was obvious that he was just lashing out, feeling increasingly isolated from the Others. Again.

Barry ignored his rebuke. “Nearly half the people in this room turned to the Beast AFTER he started eating people. If anything, I should be furious with those of ya that did. But I’m not, not anymore. And do ya know why?"

Jalin refused to meet Barry's gaze. Good. 

"It's because we’ve been whipped and burned and cut, ridiculed and rejected. Some of us have even been through worse.” Barry looked to Dennis, but Dennis’s face remained completely impassive. A rock to the end. Sudden memories of Dennis's suffering came crashing down onto Barry, and his entire body ached. His voice became a sigh, much softer now. “We’ve been through so much, we gotta have some compassion and forgiveness for each other. Our entire lives have been about taking pain and trying to make something meaningful out if it. That includes our relationships with each other.”

Jalin still wasn’t having it. "Bruh. Look where that’s gotten us. We’re stuck on a wheel going nowhere, and it’s some bullshit. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm sick of it.”

_Now_ it was apparent that Jalin clearly had not been paying attention. “Where’s Kevin right now?” Barry prodded gently, and the room was silent for a moment or two.

“He’s with Casey, DUH BARRY!” Hedwig yelled at the top of his lungs, pleased he could shed some light on the situation. God, the adults were _dumb_.

No one else spoke, but knowing smiles were shared around the room, and even Dennis had dropped the tension from his shoulders. Barry nodded, satisfied. “Kevin is awake, in the light, and spending time with someone who really cares about him. Someone who cares about all of us. We must be doing _something_ right, and we should be proud of that. All of us.”

For a few strained moments, no one spoke.

“Fine.” Jalin visibly deflated in his chair, the fight gone from him. “I'm happy for Kev, I really am. But I swear to god, if I have to spend one more day trapped in here I'll lose it. I better get the light first thing tomorrow morning.”

“That’s not fair, I’ve been waiting longer!” Polly (their sweet, mild-mannered Polly) interjected from her seat. Barry rubbed his temples, dreading the task in front of him. Time to delegate. He turned to their resident historian and scribe, summoning his most charming smile.

“Orwell buddy, do ya mind breaking out some spreadsheets? Think we’re gonna need them.”

* * *

Out in the light, Kevin and Casey still found themselves on the floor of the bedroom, sharing the last of their dinner and fleeting touches, sighs. The candles slowly burned down on the windowsills, casting shadows from their bodies that grew ever larger as the moon rose higher into the sky.

At some point they had fallen to silence in each others arms. Casey was tucked in under Kevin's chin, listening to the steady sound of his breath and his heart beat, but not much else. The evening had drained him, and his body seemed ready to give in to sleep at any moment.

Unfortunately, Casey was still wired, the excitement of their new surroundings keeping her fully awake. Every corner of the room screamed possibilities-she never had a choice in how the bedroom she grew up in looked; her uncle never even afforded her that little bit of freedom. To have so much control over even these simple, mundane things was thrilling.

She nudged Kevin, forcing his attention to the north end of the room. “What do you think? Should we get another dresser or a love seat? I can't imagine there's such a thing as too much space for clothing with Barry around.”

Kevin barely even considered the question, trying to keep his yawning to a minimum. “I dunno, decor is Norma’s thing.”

“Hmm. Well, some artwork would be nice, I’ve always wanted to have some Mucha prints.”

She waited for a response that didn’t come, so tried again. “I know that’s kind of a cliché college girl thing to have, but given I never went to college…”

It took Kevin a few seconds to realize she was looking for input and wasn't just talking out loud. He had gotten better with social cues in the past few months, but not speaking for years at a time did tend to make one rusty. “Oh. That sounds nice.”

“What about you? Do you have a favorite artist?”

“Not really. That's more Barry’s area of expertise.”

He could feel her slump further into his body, defeated, and hated himself for his ignorance, whatever it was he said that had upset her. "Did I say something wrong?"

Casey looked a little amused despite herself. "Just because Barry loves art doesn’t mean you can’t have an opinion too, you know.”

That was probably true, but he never needed an opinion before. No one ever cared what Kevin thought, so forming them did not come naturally. He was a wisp, a ghost of a person that took whatever shape was most needed to survive. “Maybe if I knew what it would look like? I’m not sure who Mucha is, to be honest.”

“If you saw his artwork, you’d recognize it, I know you would. Here, I’ll show you.” Getting up from their den of blankets, Casey ran to the other side of the room and began looking through her bag for her beloved sketchbook and a pencil. She returned to their area with a flop, worming her way back onto Kevin’s lap. He sat wordlessly, unsure, allowing her to make herself comfortable.

For a while she just drew, and he watched in amazement as the page came to life with her talent, reproducing the work of the famous artist. Fact was he _did_ recognize the art style, but when she leaned her head back to look up at him, the freckles on her nose danced in his vision, winking at him, and he began kissing them one by one. He gently took the pencil and pad from her hands, placing them to the side.

Mucha could wait.

The progression of their intimacy was natural, easy. Despite the slight chill of the night air, body heat kept them warm, comforted. Conversation continued between bouts of exploration of each other's bodies, and Casey marveled at how much different being with Kevin was compared to the Others. His presence was soft around the edges, soft in his affection, soft in his speech, and she wanted to wrap herself up in him and never leave again. At some point, after an hour or two of this lazy indulgence, she just bluntly asked if he was happy he agreed to take the light for the evening.

He hummed in the positive, a little surprised she even felt the need to ask. “I never regret time spending time with you, no matter where we are." He looked around the room expectantly. "Although, now that I think about it....I don't know where that is. Geographically speaking, I mean.”

“Middle of nowhere, Oregon. Estacada I think it's called? We’re not all that far from Portland though.”

“I’ve never been this far out west before. Mom never took me anywhere, and I certainly never felt the need to move as an adult.” His blue eyes locked onto her with a sudden focus. “Do you think you’ll miss Pennsylvania?”

The question gave her pause. _Would_ she miss it? It was where she had been born and raised, all she knew: the site of so many horrors and so much new found joy. Then again, joy had followed her, hadn’t it? Or rather, she followed her joy. She closed her fingers around one of Kevin’s hands, bringing it to her lips for a kiss. “I might miss some things, but everything that really mattered is lying next to me right now. I did miss _you_ these past couple of months though.”

Such a bittersweet thing for him to hear. Even with Barry and the Others, apparently she still felt his absence. “I wish I could have spent it with you. It’s not even really a choice. It’s more like…programming? I just kind of disappear whether I want to or not.”

Casey shuddered, trying not to imagine year after year of no holiday celebrations. Not that either of them really had anything worth celebrating years prior, but at least now they had each other. “Do you think it’s permanent?”

“If you asked me months ago, I would have said yes. But now?” He nuzzled her, and she could feel him smile against her neck. “Now I’m not so sure.”

She leaned back into him. “Well, there’s always next year.”

“Next year,” Kevin repeated, as though she had blown his mind by informing him they had another chance to spend the holidays together. Sometimes he forgot, not because he wanted to, but because this was a completely new paradigm: Casey _loved_ him. Love meant there was a future to look forward to. What was he to do with this?

His mouth found hers, this time urgently, his body and soul working together in tandem to indulge in the intimacy they craved. Pure instinct took over, and Kevin found himself picking her up and carrying them a few feet over to the unmade bed mattress, laying her down so that he was hovering over her. They were both down to only their underwear, but Kevin barely noticed the cold. He allowed her to rub up against him, her hand trailing along his cock already hard with desire, but his eyes were sending a different message than the rest of him: concern. They shifted downwards, shame coloring his cheeks. “This is gonna be new for me. I mean, my body has done it plenty of times, I was just...never present for it."

“Do you know what to do?”

The words were spoken before Casey could even think about how it sounded, and she wanted to smack herself. Apologies came rushing out, but thankfully Kevin saw more humor in the situation than he initially let on.

“I think so," he replied, his voice barely above a whisper as he rolled on top of her like they were about to fuck. Casey’s breath hitched in anticipation. “I think I’m supposed to stick… something…somewhere, right?”

Without warning, he shoved his tongue into her bellybutton, making her squeal. "Holy shit, that's terrible!"

Instead of stopping, her reaction egged him on and he began blowing raspberries, her yelps morphing into straight up shrieks. “I’m sorry! I deserve it, just stop! Kevin I real-” The words turned to gibberish and she writhed underneath him as he showed no mercy and gave no quarter, laughing against her stomach between his bouts of torture.

Eventually he allowed her to push him off and he rolled over onto his side, chuckling as she rubbed at her tingling skin.

“So, something like that, right?" he asked wryly. She smacked him, catching her breath, and he sighed with contentment, his body relaxing with each exhalation. "I really hope you’re not pregnant now.”

The words mirrored something Hedwig had once said, and she wondered if that started out as something he and Kevin had come up with years ago. Kevin noticed the recognition light up her eyes.

"What is it? What did I say?"

"Hedwig, uh, very innocently kissed me once and was convinced I might get pregnant."

A flash of pain darkened Kevin's face. "Ah. Mom used to tell me the same thing, while she was..." He mouthed the words a few times before swallowing hard. "While she was raping me. She would never kiss me, not even in the way I always saw other moms kiss their kids. She claimed it was because she might get pregnant if we did, and she didn't want 'another bastard to have to raise'."

He shrugged sadly. "Of course I eventually learned that was a lie and she felt kissing to be too close to something that was loving, but apparently Hedwig didn't get the memo. I'm not surprised, Dennis tried to shield him as much as possible when it came to her."

Casey’s heart stopped. “We don’t have to talk about this, Kevin. Dennis has already been pretty open with me about it.”

Something was stirring behind Kevin's eyes, undecipherable. “If it won’t make you flashback…I think I want to talk about it? I've never told anyone, not outside of Dr. Fletcher.”

Honestly Casey wasn't sure how it would make her feel, but if it helped Kevin, she didn't even have to think about it. "If that's something you need, then yes. Anything, Kevin."

Resting his head on her chest, he enveloped her in his arms, accepting her strength. “I actually don’t remember much. The first time mom tried anything, I was too scared and I cried so much she gave up and punished me with her steam iron." Casey squeezed his hand, and somewhere outside a coyote cried out to its family, blissfully oblivious to the cruelty of humans or the drama playing out inside the nearby house.

"The second time...I remember just laying there, hoping it would be over fast. I didn't want to get scalded again, so I didn't fight back. My bedroom door opened and this little boy I had never seen before popped his head into the room, telling me to follow him. I was scared momma would see and hurt him too.”

Casey swallowed against him, rubbing her hands up and down his lower back like she could help force out all the bad memories. “What happened?”

“Well, I went after him, and we went outside to play while we waited for it to be over. From then on, anytime… it happened, the boy showed up and we would run away together.”

Willing herself not to cry, Casey had to take a few deep breathes before trusting her voice to work without breaking. “Hedwig?”

Kevin nodded, eyes glowing in the candlelight from unshed tears. “Hedwig. Although, once Dennis understood what was going on, well…I didn’t need Hedwig anymore. I didn’t need anything anymore, because it was no longer my problem. Not consciously at least.”

For a long moment they remained in suffocating silence, mourning all childhoods that should not have been. Casey thought she knew hatred when she looked at her uncle, but now realized that sort of violent disdain could easily be extended to others. For just a brief, pleasant minute, she imagined the Beast tearing Penelope Crumb open and scattering her limbs and innards to the four corners of the world. It would be a much kinder fate than she deserved. 

Kevin noticed the look of rage on Casey's face and finally broke the spell of misery they were under, unable to handle being a source of pain for her. “Barry says it’s like laughter all over.”

Casey did a double take, unable to prevent a smile from breaking out despite the tears still drying on her face. This was the sort of conversation segue she could get behind. "What's like laughter?"

"Um..." Even in the dim light, it was obvious Kevin was blushing, an endearing little quirk of his. "Sex. With someone you actually care about."

After such a horrid discussion, that was a refreshing comment, so visceral and silly. “Is anything with Barry _not _like laughter?”

Kevin grabbed an afghan and threw it around his neck, rolling his eyes like an over-dramatic primadonna. “Fashion. Fashion design is no laughing matter, Casey."

"It's funny you say that, because if you actually watched a fashion show you would swear you'd never seen so many ridiculous pieces of clothing in your entire life."

"Oh my god, will you be quiet? De Givenchy is rolling in his grave right now!”

Casey laughed freely, all tension melting away. They wrestled about the bed and giggled in scandalized, hushed tones, like kids trying to see how many dirty words they could get away with saying before an adult overheard. Kevin hadn't removed the "scarf" from his neck and managed to get it caught on the only other piece of furniture in the room, an old antique bedside dresser that was splintering in a bad way. This brought on another round of laughter, and by the time they were settled, they were flushed and out of breath.

For a moment they lay there, just enjoying each others company before Kevin wrapped an arm around Casey's waist. He was still obviously aroused, their bout of wrestling doing nothing to douse his desire. “I want to know what it’s like to be touched… out of love."

Casey's heart skipped a few beats and she licked her lips. "I love you, Kevin. Whatever you want to do, I'll support you. What do you need from me?"

He swallowed, suddenly feeling out of his element. "Just... hold me, and I think I can do this.” Despite his words, he was frowning a little bit, and for a frightening second Casey imagined him never smiling again. "I love you too, and... I want to try.”

“Kevin, we _really_ don’t have to-”

“Hold me?”

He did not need to ask again. Casey held him for the longest time, held him until they were ready to do what their hormones had been begging for all evening. She moved with him patiently, gently, lovingly. Tears were still escaping from the corners of her eyes; it was not a deluge of tears, or the frantic weeping of someone broken, but tears of helplessness. Kevin paused in his attempts to love her body with his own, worry tinging his blue eyes dark, the color of still pond water.

“I’m not hurting you, am I?”

“Not at all. I just…” There were no real words for this ache she was feeling, but she would try. “I need you to be ok, Kevin. I don’t think anything else in the world can ever be alright again until I know you’re ok.”

The implication of her words made him shudder. He was a person that was torn to pieces, and needed those pieces to spring to life inside his mind, to live for him in ways he could not live for himself. Could someone like that ever truly be ok?

But here, with her, things were different. Here was another piece of himself, but she was not one that split away due to neglect and torture, but one that came to be born outside of himself, and now she was home, with him. Now he was a little closer to wholeness, all twenty four pieces of him. Those pieces would always be a juxtaposition on his soul because truly now they all were separate people, never to be merged again, but Casey was the love that bound them all together. They shone when she was around. They were not freaks, not broken. They were loved.

He cradled her face with as much gentleness as possible, hoping his body would find a way to express what words could not. "Hey, it's going to be alright, I'm more than ok. Let me show you." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Given the nature of what Kevin and Casey were talking about before they had sex, I didn't feel comfortable making their encounter too explicit. While I don't believe sex is a cure all for life's problems, even in fiction, it seemed like a significant moment that deserved some privacy. I'll be sure to add a Kevin chapter in [Threats of Romance](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21970540/chapters/52426771) to make up for it 😁


	30. Scapegoat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis starts the day off by getting Casey's blood pumping, but not in the way she would prefer  
Is Barry a little jealous of...Orwell?  
Dennis gets one step closer to his calling while Orwell and Casey talk Beast and Yom Kippur  
Barry will not save Dennis from his boners.  
Your author is pleased she got to type that out in all sincerity.

_The First Watcher of the North was a favorite among many. Azazel’s beauty and kindness were a thing of legend. He taught mankind to forge swords, handling both his hammer and his blade with equal grace. And though he loved mankind, he feared them as well...He was many wonderful things, but he was not human. _

_-**Peter Mohrbacher**_

The next morning, Casey woke to Kevin rolling out of bed, springs creaking in protest; the mattress they had been laying on had clearly seen better years. Groggily, she reached out for him and he caught her hand, kissing her palm gently. “Sorry, was trying to be as quiet as possible.”

“S’ok.” She yawned, still tired from the night before. “Where are you going?”

“Apparently everyone has been clamoring for the light recently, and Jalin is next. The earlier we get started, the more of the Others can have their turn.”

“You need sleep though.”

Kevin smiled, touched at her concern. “I’ll be fine, we’re used to operating on less sleep than most people, comes with the territory. I’ll be back before bed, ok?”

“Promise?”

“No one could keep me away.” He brushed some hair away from her face, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

Satisfied, she offered him a sleepy smile before rolling over and quickly giving in to exhaustion again. Kevin pulled a blanket up around her before gathering his clothing and heading out the door. Within a matter of seconds Casey was dreaming, her memories of their night spent together replying softly on the edges of her consciousness.

It was not to be though, because after a few minutes she was jolted awake by a loud yell of triumph.

“FUCK YEAH, Big Dog’s off the leash!” Nearby doors were hastily opened and slammed in succession until the noise stopped just outside of her room. The door banged open so hard Casey imagined it to be now hanging from its hinges, and she turned bleary eyes to frown at Jalin, completely oblivious to the commotion he was causing. He briefly did a double take at her partially exposed state, but only halfheartedly, like how someone might admire a pretty photograph before carrying on with their day. “Woah, sorry Case! You have any idea where we left our shoes?” 

Casey groaned, turning her face away from the sunlight streaming in behind him. “Last I saw, by the front door,” she mumbled into the mattress.

“Yo, Dennis is gonna be _pissed _‘cause they definitely are not there.”

Wasn't Jalin supposed to be a little older than her? This was like waking up with a toddler. “There’s only so many places they could be, we just got here.” Did she have to hold his hand too?

He punched the door frame with a closed fist, bursting with an energy that Kevin definitely did not seem to possess only a few minutes ago. “Fuck it, I don’t need shoes. I’m going BEAST MODE!” He departed and the door slammed behind him, shaking the walls around them.

Casey listened to him pound down the stairs and out the front door in record time, whooping with every step he took. She really hoped Jalin was going “beast mode” metaphorically, she couldn’t think of a worse combination than Jalin and the Beast. Could the Beast get drunk? Christ, that would be a nightmare.

Or...would it be hysterical? She made a mental note to ask Barry his expert opinion when she saw him next, and gave in to the pull of the Sandman.

* * *

_He was…so gentle, so hyper aware of who she was and what she had been through. When he kissed her, it was a promise- “You’ll never have to carry all that pain by yourself ever again.” _ _Looking into Kevin’s eyes was like coming home, and she never wanted to leave this moment in time. He reached down to brush his knuckles across her cheek softly before grabbing her shoulders and violently shaking._

Casey opened her eyes to Dennis trying to rouse her with utmost urgency. She sat up, terrified something was horribly wrong as he stared at her with numb horror, neither of them giving notice to the blanket slowly sliding down her naked body. “What? What is it? Oh god, is it the Horde?”

“Casey…” he gaped at her, groping for words. “Did you and Kevin actually spend the night on this filthy thing?” He pointed to the mattress underneath her, refusing to touch it.

It took a moment for his words to process, and then her fear was swiftly replaced with annoyance. “Did you seriously give me a heart attack just because of a mattress?”

“No…you can’t….” he groaned, focusing his steely gaze on the undoubtedly soiled abomination in front of him. “It could…could have bedbugs, and germs from who knows how long ago. We gotta get rid of it, Casey.”

Before she could protest any of this, Dennis swept her up and rushed her to the bathroom, muttering that this was what he got for leaving her alone for an evening. Depositing her on the cold tile floor, she hissed and tried to jump back into his arms again, but he was off in an instant, shutting the door behind him.

“Wash yourself, thoroughly!” he demanded as he stalked down the hall to vanquish this new enemy.

Huffing, Casey quickly turned on the shower, praying the water heater was turned on. Fortunately, after a few seconds warm water came cascading out and Casey took her time, enjoying the experience despite her irritation. It was apparent that the closer she got to Kevin, the more comfortable Dennis was with touching her, which would have been great if it didn’t involve forcing her to cater to his fears. OCD or not, they were going to have to work on boundaries.

When she finally shut the water off, she realized she had no way of drying off. Dennis must have been waiting outside because there was a knock on the door, and she could hear shuffling beyond it.

“What?” Her voice was sharper than intended.

“Uh…I brought you some towels. And a fresh set of clothing. I didn’t want to go through your bags, but you haven't unpacked yet.” The door cracked opened and an arm popped through, offering said clothing. Casey grabbed them, trying not to imagine slamming the door on his arm. A lack of restful sleep really did her no favors, she was undoubtedly cranky as fuck.

When she finished dressing, she went out into the hallway only to find Dennis still waiting there, rubbing his jaw sheepishly. Now that the fear had abated, sanity reigned once again. Casey cocked a hip, still annoyed. “That was a bit much, Dennis.”

He looked everywhere but at her. “Yeah. Barry had to... remind me that I can’t treat you as an extension of ourselves. I lose my self-control when I’m agitated.” He cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. “That's no excuse though. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”

How could she stay angry? The apology was sincere and he looked utterly miserable, his body stiff with tension. She softened. “I know this entire process has been hard on you. It’s ok, let's just try to avoid it happening again in the future.”

They stood in awkward silence for a moment or two until something dawned on her. “Please tell me you didn’t really destroy that mattress. I don't know how we could explain that to the Huffs.”

“No, I threw it in the basement. Just…promise me you won’t sleep on it again, I can’t stop thinking about filthy things crawlin’ all over you, it’s-“

“It’s ok, I won’t. I promise.”

This was inconvenient, but his expression was bordering on tortured and she couldn't stand to see him suffer when it was something simple enough to fix. His shoulders sagged with relief, one less burden for him to have to drag around for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, she had to believe that the relief was only temporary. It always was.

A curt nod was the only response she got before he turned heel and walked away, still obviously ashamed over his behavior. Casey decided that once she got her unpacking done, she was going to seek out the nearest library and track down some local psychiatrists. Even superhumans needed help sometimes.

* * *

It was Hedwig's turn in the light, and lord knew he needed it. Multiple alters had come to Barry, begging him to let the boy get some exercise before he drove them all insane with his antics. Ian even threatened to "strangle the little shite", causing a near fight to break out between himself and Dennis.

Needless to say, Dennis understood the importance of letting Hedwig out, but still bribed the boy with ice cream if he let himself and Mr. Barry have a quick conversation before he got to go play. The thought made Dennis smile. Out in the Poconos, Hedwig had gotten used to being able to act as himself, as a child, away from the million prying eyes of the city. Here was no different, and Dennis was glad to give it to him.

Now though, there was business to attend to. The newspaper that had arrived at their doorstep that morning made his blood rush in the most chaotic way, causing his head to pound. He leaned over the paper, palms resting on the kitchen counter to steady himself. This was it, synchronicity at its finest. 

“Barry, come here. I need you to take a look at this.”

Barry stirred, not really wanting to come out. He was comfortable in his chair and the task of setting a weekly schedule for the System had taken a lot out of him. _What is it?_

“A newspaper.”

_I’m good, I’ve seen one of those before._

“Look at the headline, smartass.”

The memory of another terrible news report jostled Barry and he jolted from his seat, dreading what he would find in the light. He was almost afraid to look, positive that the Horde had done something even more heinous than last time, but if Dennis thought it was necessary for him to see, then it couldn’t be helped.

When he took his place by Dennis, Barry found his eyes moving of their own volition to the words in front of them. He read with some mixture of relief, guilt, and horror. Relief because the expose had nothing to do with them, and guilt that he _felt_ relief because the subject matter truly was horrifying: Human trafficking was on the rise, and Oregon was no exception. An estimated 500 girls between the ages of eight and 16 had gone missing in Portland and its surrounding areas in the current year alone. Nevada and California had some of the highest victim rates, and it seemed Oregon had not remained unscathed by this plague of human misery.

Eyes watering in sympathy, he had to look away, exhaling sharply. “Thanks for the depressing dose of reality, Dennis. How about a cute puppy video next time?”

Dennis frowned. “Where am I supposed to find those?”

“I don’t-look, why did I need to see this?”

“This is it, it’s how I begin to atone for my sins. I’m going to track these guys down." He nodded, mostly to himself. "And then I’m going to fuck them up.”

Barry felt…doubtful. “How? Ya know that demigod you were depending on? Well, he’s still wasting away. Also, he started his cannibal cult up again and they want your head, and I’m not even sure I’m talking metaphorically. The only reason we haven't been horribly murdered yet is because we’re housing that monster inside of us.” Saying it all out loud made Barry’s head swim; it was a fucking mess, per usual. “I hurt for these baby girls, but is this really a priority right now?”

All Barry could feel from Dennis was grim, hardened anger. Determination. It was like standing in front of a mountain about to give way to an avalanche. “Absolutely.”

His conviction was inspiring, Barry had to admit. “Well...ok then. What do we do?”

“We?” Dennis genuinely sounded surprised, this was a quick turn around.

“I mean, I’m gonna be along for the ride whether I want to be or not. Might as well keep my finger on the pulse.”

This could pose more problems. “It’s dangerous, and I can’t be sharing the light in the middle of a fight.”

“Mmm, speaking of…just how often are you planning on having these fights? I’m pretty fond of our face, and poor Casey can’t be with someone that’s crazy AND ugly. That’s just not fair.”

“Crazy?”

“Joke. It’s a joke, Dennis, to cover up the fact I find this entire idea terrifying." Barry sank them into a chair, rubbing his temples. "We're no Overseer, or even a Mr. Glass. This isn't our world.”

"It could be. Even they had to start somewhere."

Touche. “It’s going to be hard. I hope ya know where to start, ‘cause I sure as hell don’t.”

It took a few seconds for Dennis to respond, but when he did, he sounded hesitant. “Not yet. But I’m pretty sure I know someone who might.”

* * *

“Gentleman.”

Dennis sighed as Orwell took his place besides Barry. It’s not that he had a problem with Orwell so much as he knew that Orwell had a problem with _him_. While he deserved every bit of the man’s scorn, it just meant one more potential resource closed off to him-he could not work with the other alter if there was no trust involved. His Horde days had proven that not having Orwell as an ally was a disadvantage. That was why he reached out, hoping against hope they could bury the hatchet once and for all.

Regardless of the messy history between the two, Barry had no such issues. “Orwell. What’s good?”

“I was hoping you would tell me. I understand you and Dennis have called on me for a specific purpose, but if you will recall, it _is_ my turn in the light after Hedwig. I really do need to speak with Casey with utmost urgency.”

“Oh yeah? About what?” Of course, Barry had no problem with this, he was just making conversation as usual.

Orwell adjusted his glasses, a nervous tic. “I’m afraid Casey has requested we keep our correspondences confidential.”

Now. Now Barry was a little concerned. He wasn’t sure if it was because of his station within the System (shouldn't he know what was going on?) or more so that apparently his girlfriend had secrets he wasn’t privy to. Not that he was _entitled_ to them, but he was an open book with her, wasn’t he?

His discomfort must have been written all over his face because Orwell shifted awkwardly. “I can assure you that if it were up to me, I would have no issue with disclosing our conversations. As it stands now-”

“No, it’s fine Orwell. I’m just a little surprised is all.”

He was fine, right? Oh god, was this jealousy? Jealousy was an unfamiliar emotion, he was born to be low maintenance and put the feelings of the Others before himself. As it was, he could stand the thought of her _being_ with someone else, but secrets kept between them seemed unbearable. After all, Barry shared a body, but matters of the heart, emotions-these were his purview. Understanding her inner world was the exclusive intimacy he craved.

Later. He would have to unpack this later. Dennis was looking at him funny and he didn't want to give him an excuse to get kicked off of this project before they had even begun.

Barry put a hand on Orwell's shoulder, not sure if he was trying to reassure Orwell or himself. “Look, go and do what ya gotta with our girl, but I’d like to speak with you and a few of the others when we get the chance. Dennis and I have something we’d like your help with, if it’s cool with you.”

Orwell brightened at this considerably. There was nothing better for a hungry mind than to be kept busy with a purpose. “I would hazard a guess I already know your intentions, although you do have me intrigued. Assuming this is a task worthy of my attention, I would be more than pleased to offer you my services. It has been too long since I have been called upon to use my gifts for the betterment of the System, and as Henry David Thoreau wrote, “It is not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is-“

Was this turning into a tangent? Barry felt like he was stuck in the middle of a tangent. Doing his best to look engaged, he smiled and nodded at Orwell when it seemed right to do so, mind still trying to tease out what he and Casey could possibly be working on. Of course, he could just ask her, but there had to be a reason she hadn’t volunteered the information herself. Would it be appropriate to bring up? Would she resent him, or feel that he no longer trusted her? Who could he even possibly run this by...Jade? Barry was the go-to for relationship advice, but as of now he was at a loss. For once in his life, he felt the stakes were unbearably high.

Dennis was not nearly so distracted at the moment. Or patient. "Orwell, do you want in on this or not? I'd prefer to have you on board, but if not I need to figure something else out."

Orwell bristled, looking like he was about to snap back with a snide remark, but Barry shook his head. "What Dennis is trying to say is that your help will be invaluable. Go talk to Casey, we'll be here when you're done. We can wait."

Besides, the sooner Orwell and Casey were done, the sooner he got to be with his baby girl. Certainly just being in her presence would soothe his mind, it was just this move that had him out of sorts. It had to be.

* * *

Orwell wasted little time diving into a lecture as soon as he and Casey had finished embracing in greeting.

“Belief. In the 21st century, it accounts for so little. Truly, up until a few years ago I hadn’t put much stock in it myself, but Kevin is a remarkable person, isn’t he?”

To this, Casey and Orwell were both in agreement. She couldn’t help but notice though…“You’re starting to sound a bit like Patricia.”

Orwell made a face, his eyes growing comically large inside his lenses, and he brushed the comparison off with a scowl. “If that woman spent half as much time doing something productive as she does trying to be proven correct, she may well have solved all of the world’s ills by now.”

This they also agreed on. Casey had no idea where Orwell was going with this, though. “Beliefs, faith…haven’t we already tried the supernatural angle?”

Orwell looked overjoyed, she had taken the conversation just where he needed it to go. “That’s just it, belief is not the sole domain of the supernatural, not even close! How many scientists and trailblazers would have been stymied at the first sign of difficulty if not for their conviction carrying them ever onward?”

“I couldn’t say. I bet you could, though.”

“Yes!” Orwell slammed his hand down on a nearby table triumphantly. “Unfortunately, while I would love to elaborate, that would be superfluous at this current point in time. Perhaps one day.” He sat down on the sofa besides here, taking her hand into his own with gentle familiarity. "Are you familiar with the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur?"

This is what Casey adored about Orwell, never having any idea what strange turns their conversations would take. She laughed easily, squeezing his hand in turn. "Can't say I'm intimately familiar, no. It's still practiced, right?"

"For the observant Jews, absolutely. What_ isn't_ observed anymore are the customs of the original Day of Atonement."

"Why not?"

Orwell shrugged. "Practicalities, I would assume. Fortunately that small detail is not relevant to our current predicament. What _is_ relevant is the Ritual of the Scapegoat, or Azazel, whichever you prefer." 

Oh dear. "Isn't Azazel a demon? Are we talking exorcisms again?"

"Well, in the context of this rite, it has also been argued that 'Azazel' is a reference to mountains. You see, on this day of atonement, the High Priest would take two goats for sacrifice. One was offered up to the war god, YHVH. The other was designated as a vessel for the sins of the tribes and was sent away into the desert as a symbolic casting away of their immorality."

"What does that have to do with demons?"

"From what I've read, some scholars believe this involved pushing the poor animal from the heights of a mountain, while others argue it was offered to a desert spirit, the one scapegoated for all of mankind's inequity-Azazel. Whether Azazel was meant to be demon or mountain, what is important is the belief that sin can be transferred from one living soul to another, at the very least symbolically. "

It only took Casey a few seconds to put things together. "Do you believe that the sins of the 'Impure' could be transferred to a different source of food?"

Orwell beamed. "Casey, were you aware that you are a dream student?"

Ducking her head, Casey tried not to let him see her blush-that was the first time in her life anyone had said anything even remotely along those lines. Paying attention during class didn't seem to matter much when you weren't sure if you were going to go home to be murdered by your drunken uncle.

If he noticed her blushing, Orwell chose not to comment. "Again, this all comes back to belief. Did this Azazel goat really carry the sins of the Jewish people out to a demon? Of course not. Was there some sort of a psychological relief and decompression in the process? Undoubtedly." He became more animated as he spoke, clearly excited to see what would come of this experiment. "I've taken the liberty of compiling a similar ritual to the Rite of Atonement, catered to the Beast and his beliefs, of course." 

It certainly was promising, and frankly Casey thought Orwell a genius. One small catch though...“Why would he agree to any of this? As far as I can tell, he’s been working on a coup ever since Raven Hill. Aren’t we the enemy?”

“Because, my dear, while a violent megalomaniac, the Beast is also intelligent enough to understand that he is now at an impasse. While the Horde has its own machinations, they can’t come to fruition if either the Beast or Kevin ends up perishing. He certainly understands that we work to save his life because it saves us all.” 

“What if he’d rather die than eat something other than the impure?”

“HAH. Have you met him? Tyrants are always willing to overlook their so called ‘convictions’ if it will save their own skin. He is no exception.” He turned to pin her with a glance, staring right through her. "Besides, he's already consumed a part of you, has he not? You are as far from impure as humanely possible, my dear, even by the Beast's standards."

Casey looked down to the ground, taking his words as an admonishment, but he lifted her chin gently. "Please, don't ever be ashamed of what you did. No one has ever sacrificed so much on our behalf. For what it's worth, you have my eternal gratitude."

Warmth spread all the way to her toes. For all of his introversion, Orwell really did know how to read people. "If I had to, I'd do it all over again. Just...don't tell Barry or Dennis."

He chuckled. "Fair enough. Now, let me explain how this will work..."

* * *

After her conversation with Orwell, Casey relished the opportunity to simply unwind with Barry. They had picked out the room to serve as their art studio, and were currently relaxing on some throw pillows brought down from the bedroom. Barry had his large bristol pad out, sketching away intensely, and Casey was content to remain curled up at his side.

Still slightly perturbed over the thought of Dennis risking their identity during his heroics, Barry was mulling over options to conceal their face. Unfortunately he wasn’t coming up with much he found workable.

“Everything I try looks ridiculous,” he whined, tearing up another piece of paper in disgust.

Casey stretched herself out to rest her head on his lap, pushing the drawing pad away. “You’ve been at this for hours. Take a break maybe?”

He sighed. “Would love to, doll, but I can’t relax knowing that Dennis is gonna go out there just begging for someone to I.D. us.”

Casey rolled her eyes. “Even if you do come up with some sort of disguise, do you really think Dennis would wear it? I think he would rather play in a childrens' ball pit then dress up as a super hero.”

“Sweetheart, do ya really think I’m basic enough to dress us up like a clown? Do you have so little faith in my abilities?”

She shrugged. “You could dress him up in Armani and he would still grumble. Dennis knows what he likes, and he likes being in control. You know, not having his outfits picked out for him like a child.”

Barry dismissed the thought with a wave of his hand. “What’s important is protecting the System, yourself, and Kevin. Dennis understands that more than anyone.”

They both settled into meditative silence, thinking. “Couldn’t you go with some sort of Overseer get up?” Casey offered. Barry gasped.

“First ya tell me I have no talent, and now you’re debasing me by suggesting I copy? I can’t with you today.” He winked before standing up to stretch.“You’re probably right though,” he admitted through a yawn, rolling his shoulders. “Time for a break. How about dinner and a movie? This town has gotta have _something_ to do.” 

“Ughhhh, I’m not in the mood to go out tonight Barry, I'm beat.”

“Takeout baby girl, it’s all good. What say we order in and get the cable set up, watch some horror movies?”

“Oh no.” Casey sat up in protest. “We put on anything remotely scary and you know Hedwig is going to insist on watching too. And then you can forget about getting any sleep tonight."

Swooping down to pick her up off the ground, Barry spun her around and wiggled his eyebrows. “Who says I was planning on sleeping tonight?”

"Yeah, the terrified, light stealing nine year old is gonna give us enough privacy for _that_."

Barry pouted. "Ok fine, no horror movies."

What he _really_ wanted was to inquire about her and Orwell, but before he could ask, Casey took his hand, rubbing a thumb over his knuckles thoughtfully. "Had Dennis ever tried to get his OCD under control at all?"

The change in topic nearly gave Barry whiplash. He stood for a moment, wracking his brain for the affirmative, but could come up with nothing. "Not that I can recall, although it's not exactly something he would feel inclined to advertise." He looked her up and down, the mood in the room now somber. "Why are ya asking?"

"You saw what happened this morning."

"Ah, right. Ya know I talked to him about that, baby girl."

"I do. But I don't think a stern talking to is going to ultimately do anything."

"You're probably right, but I'm not liking your odds of getting him therapy either. Man has enough pride for all of us in here, let alone one person. I'd like to think that if it were possible, I coulda talked him into it years ago."

"I mean, _I_ could try."

Well. Seemed like the Orwell talk would have to wait. "I'd tell ya to knock yourself out, but I'm afraid that's what's gonna happen."

"Bear. It will be fine."

"Aight babydoll, I'll go grab him. But afterwards?"

Casey rolled her eyes affectionately. "Afterwards we get dinner, I promise."

A brief kiss to the lips, and he was gone to retrieve Dennis.

Dennis adjusted to the light slower than usual, and grimaced as though he had a headache, making Casey wonder if she had picked the absolute worst time to have this conversation. She lay a hand lightly on his forearm. "What's wrong? Are you sick?"

He looked around, squinting into the light before running an agitated hand through his hair. "Not sick. Just have a lot on my mind." He briefly registered the hand on his arm before softening a bit. She always had that effect on him. "What can I do for you, Casey?"

She was treading dangerous ground, but it had it be said. “Now that we're settled again, have you thought about getting help for your OCD at all?”

The offended look on his face didn’t surprise her, but the tired resignation in his voice did, she expected more of a fight. “I tried therapy, a long time ago. Didn’t work.”

“What about medication?”

He folded his arms across his chest, breathing heavily through his nose. For some reason that had struck a nerve. “No.”

“Why not?”

He shrugged, clearly not wanting to be having this conversation. “I don’t like it, makes me feel out of control. Can’t be out of control, too many responsibilities to be juggling right now.”

She didn't mean to laugh, but it happened anyway. “I wouldn’t call what happened this morning ‘controlled behavior’, would you?”

He looked away, frustrated, knowing that she had him cornered. But she didn’t want to corner him, she wanted to _help_. She freely reached out and caressed his cheek, and he closed his eyes and leaned into the gentle touch, uncrossing his arms so he could cradle her hand with his own. "Casey..."

“Will you try? For me?”

He opened his eyes to look at her, something warring behind them, like he might actually be considering. “We don’t have insurance anymore.”

“I don’t think generic Zoloft could cost all that much.”

He sighed and she reached behind his shoulders to rub his neck, chasing the tension from his muscles, tipping him towards the edge. Raising his upper traps to meet her hand, he nearly purred at the contact. Dennis _never_ purred.

“Keep doing this and I’ll get my own damn PHD if that’s what you want.” His words were clipped like he didn’t want to be saying them, the edges of their shared affection slowly starting to catch fire. If she weren’t careful, Dennis might lose control.

Honestly, she wasn't sure she _wanted_ to be careful. To be fair, there was some hesitancy; she and Kevin had just reached a level of intimacy that she had been longing for and wasn't sure how he would feel about her getting close to Dennis so fast.

But it was undeniable; after Kevin had given himself to her, she now felt intimately attached to the others in a way she hadn’t been before, could tell as soon as her fingertips fluttered against Dennis’s cheek that things would never go back to the way they were.

Dennis felt it too. Christ, did he feel it, deep inside his rib cage, and there was something light and feathery tickling his pelvis, clouding out all sense of reason. His hips collapsed into hers of their own volition and the little moan that escaped her mouth made his blood boil. His forehead met the crook of her neck, traitorous hands coming up to rest on her waist.

"Casey," he exhaled, pleading in his voice. He wasn't strong enough to stop her, not now. His fingers gently traced her lips and they opened for him, nipping his thumb before he inserted it deeper into her mouth, imagining that damp heat similar to how her pussy would feel around him. God, if she let him, he would memorize every ridge inside of her, the way she would react to each and every stroke. He would drown her in her own endorphins, force her body to succumb to pleasure again and again until she couldn't take one more second. And then he would push her further, to another plane of existence where the only things she was conscious of were his tongue, his fingers, his cock.

He was losing this battle.

He turned inward, trying to temper his racing thoughts._ Barry, your woman needs you. _It was his last defense against this tsunami of lust, Barry could come and give her what she needed and they would all come out of this unscathed. 

Deep inside, Barry raised his head and nudged an opening into the light, only to find desire flooding his senses, and he retreated once again. _It’s not my finger she’s sucking on,_ he purred silkily, a smirk in his voice, and Dennis knew he would find no reprieve from his brother. Both he and Casey were conspiring against him, willing him to fall from grace, and Dennis was ready, pain from impact be damned.

The doorbell rang and the power of whatever had bewitched them fell apart. They both took in ragged breaths, trying to calm their hearts, stop the trembling of their bodies. Dennis adjusted his pants, embarrassment quickly chasing away the fog of desire.

“Do you think you could get that? I’m not really in any position to be answering the door.” They both looked down at his erection, guarded disbelief coloring his face, amusement playing on hers.

"Sure. Although if you wait right here, we could talk some more. And I think we should. I shouldn't be long."

Dennis swallowed thickly, not trusting himself to answer. His breaths came out in short, even exhales, and he squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to meet her gaze. Casey didn't get her hopes up.

It was Dorothy again, dropping off yet another meal. While Casey understood it was supposed to be a neighborly gesture, she kind of wanted to strangle the older woman, and only spent the exact amount of time in conversation needed to not appear rude.

When she got back, Dennis was long gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So due to a chronic, still undiagnosed cough I've been dealing with for months now and COVID-19 running rampant over the entire fucking world, my boss gave me an unexpected (but welcome) medical leave of absence for a few weeks so I have less chance of ending up with a serious respiratory issue. 
> 
> While this would normally mean I could update faster, a decent chunk of the next chapter is on my work PC because usually I'll write ahead as the ideas come to me (don't tell corporate!). I'm a little torn if I want to write a sort of filler chapter, or just focus on my other Split series for the next few weeks (I've got a chapter for ToR about 60% done, might update next with that if I decide I have the ovaries to post it, haha). I'm undecided as of now, but I wanted to explain what's going on in the event it's a little quiet over in this particular corner of my fanwork.
> 
> Hope every single one of you is safe and healthy. Didn't expect 2020 to begin with the fucking plague, but eh, here we are. Be well!


	31. Sanctified, Justified

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plan is enacted, and a god and his priestess are summoned once again  
Kevin is ready to do the hardest thing imaginable  
Dennis and Barry feel sorry for themselves and have bro talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like many others, I've been furloughed from my job, which means....still no access to my work computer. I'll just have to suck it up and re-write from memory, which is just, ugh, bumming me out. Again, updates might be coming a bit slower, but I'm trying! 
> 
> I hope you all know that I really appreciate your patience, as well as the comments and energy you've given this story, it gives me life! I'll try and get more to you ASAP.

Spending time with Luke was always an experience. Not even necessarily one you could put a label on, just an experience. Like most Texans, the man was larger than life, although... was he really a Texan? Casey had a hard time unpacking these sorts of questions when it came to the alters. He certainly acted the part, but given Kevin had never visited Texas, let alone lived there, it was a questionable idea indeed. She considered asking Luke his opinion, but regardless of the answer she knew his ire with her would be very, very real, and so let it be. Besides, the Beast had already proven that the System did not see fit to let reality set boundaries for them.

Currently the pair were cleaning, trying to give Dennis a break as he had to officially start work with Mr. Huff the next day. Well, Casey was trying to give Dennis a break, Luke was pacing about and talking a mile a minute, as he was wont to do.

"So Dennis is fixin to get us all 'useful'," Luke rolled his eyes as he said this, clearly irritated by the fact that he wasn't deemed useful just by his mere existence. Casey had her back turned to him, dusting out an old cabinet they decided to use as extra storage space. Her ears always perked up when it came to the System's internal conversations, and she stopped cleaning briefly to look up at him.

"Useful? What does that mean?"

"Thank you, that's what I wanted to know! Apparently, it ain't all that useful to be the movie guy around here unless you're makin' money off of it. But I'll do ya one better." He paused, and it took Casey a second to realize that he wanted her full attention. She nodded for him to go ahead. 

"Blow my mind, Luke."

He beamed. "I'll open a restaurant, and I'll call it _Before You Eat_. It's where folks'll go to have a meal before dinner."

"Um...Is that something people actually do?"

He looked offended she wasn't showering him in praise. "Now listen here, what's more American than stuffin' your face for no reason?"

Well, he had a point. Before she could say as much, he grimaced, rubbing his temples like he had just come down with a monster headache. "I'll tell ya, I'm startin' to hate keeping a schedule, Barry has been right ornery about us all stickin' to it."

"Wasn't Jalin was the one pushing for a schedule?"

"Yeah, but your boy is about one second away from pitchin' a hissy fit right now." There was another flinch like he had been shocked, and the constant smile on his face vanished. "I'll catch ya around Case. Oh and hey, keep that restaurant idea between us. B.T. is always going on about being the next big entrepreneur, and I ain't letting him steal my thunder! When our ship comes in, it'll be thanks to me."

Motioning that her lips were sealed, she waved goodbye and stood up to welcome Barry into the light, briefly stretching her back. He arrived with a smile, not appearing anywhere near as cranky as Luke had made him out to be, but she hugged him just in case. "Everything ok, Bear?"

He held her tighter than usual, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Yeah, it's all good. Well, mostly good. Dennis is aggy and it's putting everyone else on edge. Kind of like the good old days." His voice was soft, almost nostalgic for some reason. 

"Why is he acting out?"

"Eh, he thinks he let his self-control get away from him. Ya know, when you both-"

"Yeah, I remember yesterday too, thanks. So...what? I make passes at him and he makes life hell for everyone? Is that what you're saying?"

Barry looked down at her, eyes sparkling with soft delight. "The both of you are excellent at taking my words and turning them into something terrible. If there's ever a job opening for a monkey's paw, you should get on that." Kissing her nose, he nodded towards the kitchen. "How about lunch outside today? I wanna go over some, uh, 'uniform' ideas with ya."

She noticed how he didn't bother to answer her question, not really, but supposed it didn't matter. "So, speaking of lunch, how do you feel about eating before you eat?"

"Sweetheart, I don't know what that means, but I'm sold."

* * *

“What about like a…like a Black Panther type of deal, but with a Beast aesthetic?” Barry was pacing around a particularly large maple, rattling off ideas and occasionally pulling a mechanical pencil from behind his ear as if to draw or jot something down, only to immediately put it back. Whether it was nervous or creative energy that had him so twitchy, Casey couldn’t say, but it was getting hard to keep up with his stream-of-consciousness ramblings.

"Ok, first of all, what is a 'Beast aesthetic'? Second of all, we have neither the tech nor the money available to the king of Wakanda, I’m afraid,” Casey smiled. “You’re good Bear, but there’s only so much you can do when the materials you’re working with come from a Michael's.”

He playfully shushed her, waving her concerns away. “Hey, I’m just trying to come up with a design. Once I settle on something, _then_ ya can crap all over it.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do! I want to help.”

“Well, ya could start by spit balling ideas too, then.”

“If you want to do an animal theme, how about something like Catwoman?”

“Doll, if ya wanna see us in latex, just ask." His grin turned wicked, eyes lighting up playfully. "Unfortunately I’m not sure Dennis would appreciate wearing something that required dousing himself in talcum power, not to mention the mess. You ever try maneuvering a Swiffer while covered in latex?”

The imagery made both of them snicker. Even though he had the body for it, it was true: Dennis would find some way to make it as awkward as possible.

Casey hummed, pretending to look thoughtful. "What are your feelings on assless chaps? Might be less restrictive."

"Oh, now I get it." Barry unceremoniously threw himself down next to her, resting his head on her lap. "You're only in this for our body, huh?" Before she could protest, he winked. "Can't say I blame ya. Now, if ya really wanted to get silly, we could-"

He stopped and flinched, mirroring Luke from earlier in the day. Seemed everyone in the System had something to say recently, and once again Casey found herself immensely curious. 

For a few minutes she continued to cradle his head as he spoke with whoever was on the other end of their conversation, running her fingers through his hair and watching the lines around his eyes soften. When finished, he sat up, and she tried not to smile at his hair sticking up every which way.

“Orwell was just telling me you two had some plans this afternoon,” he admitted. 

“Shit, that’s right. I guess I was having too much fun and it slipped my mind.”

Barry smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes, reaching over to cradle her cheek. “So baby girl, been seeing anyone else lately?"

She laughed against his hand. “Aside from Mike, Evan, and Donny, you and Kevin are the only men in my life.”

When he didn’t laugh in turn, she realized it was actually a serious question. “Why are you asking me this? Where would I find someone else, and when would I find the time to see them?”

He held up his palms pleadingly in an effort to defuse the quickly mounting tension. “I should have specified. I meant, are ya romantically involved with any of the Others? Aside from Kevin and me, and kinda sorta Dennis.”

She blinked at him, clearly upset. “Really Barry?”

He reached out for her hands, which she begrudgingly allowed. “I mean, I wouldn’t be_ opposed_ to it, I told ya that already! I would just wanna know. I don’t think that’s asking too much.”

Shocked, she pulled away. “I can’t believe you don’t trust me.”

“What? Who said anything about trust? If there’s nothing going on, then I believe ya. I just…wasn’t sure why you two had been seeing so much of each other lately, that’s all.”

“Why would you assume it was anything romantic? Orwell and I live together, Barry.”

He shrugged, looking a bit like Hedwig when getting scolded. “Ya just never talk about what you two get up to. The idea that there’s something ya don’t feel like you can trust me with…it kills me.”

Although it bothered Casey he thought she was keeping a relationship with another alter a secret, it _was_ true that she was hiding something. Maybe she should tell him. She _wanted_ to tell him, but if he knew she was planning on interacting with the Beast again, he’d lose his mind. It would most certainly get back around to Dennis, whom Casey assumed was not beyond going through extreme measures to keep her “safe”, then of course if Kevin found out…No, no. There was a reason she had confided in Orwell and only Orwell, and she had to go with her gut.

“It’s not about trust Bear, I just never talked to you about it because it’s, you know, research stuff. I don’t want to bore you.”

She immediately regretted the lie, innocuous as it was. The way he was looking at her made her heart break, and for a moment she felt lower than dirt. He was so good to her and asked so little in return, but she just didn't see any way around this.

“Ah, gotcha.” He tried to smile, pretend he understood, but they both knew he wasn’t buying it. They also both knew that he wasn’t going to press the issue any further. Instead, he brushed some hair back behind her ear before stepping back and slipping his favorite drawing pencil inside the spirals of his sketchbook. If Orwell got a hold of it, it would never be seen again.

“Well, don't let me keep ya any longer. Be good, baby girl. I'm...I'm around if ya need me."

* * *

As Casey and Orwell walked side by side to the local high school, Casey grew more and more disturbed as she replayed her conversation with Barry over in her head. He definitely knew something was up, and clearly couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t share if it didn’t involve an affair. Did secretly communicating with a feral demigod that lived inside your boyfriend’s body count as an affair? Truth was, every time she invoked the Beast without Dennis or any other support around, she was courting danger and she knew it. Ever since their escape from Pennsylvania, the Horde had been worryingly quiet. What were he and Patricia up to in there? Somehow quietly regaining strength, waiting for the day when Casey foolishly invited him out and…

“You seem agitated.”

Orwell’s gentle observation broke the train of anxious thoughts bulldozing through her mind, and she relaxed slightly. “Barry wanted to know if you and I were together.”

Knitting his brows, Orwell stared down at her quizzically. “Well, yes, I did explain to him before we left that we would be spending the afternoon together.”

“No, like, as a couple.”

For a moment Orwell was just silent, taking it in. “Lordy," he finally exhaled.

Casey didn’t know how to interpret that so she laughed, and he quickly joined her. “It is not serving that man to be cooped up inside the house all day, let me tell you. He is a city boy through and through, and I fear this move will continue to be hard on him. I do hope he’s not falling prey to the neurosis that have infected some of the others.”

“Wow. So what you’re saying is that you’re so out of my league, assuming we could be dating borders on mental illness?”

Orwell sputtered, clearly taken aback, and she giggled. God, it felt good to be outside in the sunlight, having fun.

Realizing that she was teasing, Orwell smiled before quickly getting back to business. "Do you have any concerns about what we're going to do? This plan does call for exacting conditions, and we'll only have one shot at this I believe. Spend too much time hanging around a high school and someone is bound to notice we don't belong."

The question warranted some thought, and Casey mulled it over as they got closer to the school. This part of their experiment really held no danger to either of them, aside from possibly having the cops called, but Casey still looked young enough that she didn't seem out of place among other teenagers. The biggest issue would be finding someone willing to hear them out and go along with their request.

"I don't think I have any concerns. I guess I'm more worried about how the Beast will react, or maybe the possibility we just get laughed out of there. What if we can't find anyone to help?"

"I was concerned about the same thing. I took the liberty of acquiring some bargaining tools from our dwindling stash of emergency funds. I don't believe Dennis will be happy when he discovers this, but that's a problem for later. Now, we focus on the task at hand."

Turned out, it wasn't quite as hard to find willing subjects as anticipated. They had timed it perfectly so that classes had just let out for the day, and they stood and watched the mass of teenagers walk by until Casey zeroed in on a pair of girls that looked artsy enough to be down for some weirdness. She approached them while Orwell hung back. While a good looking man, Casey was concerned any good will generated by his appearance would be instantly neutralized by his awkward demeanor, and they didn't need anyone thinking they were serial killers looking for their next mark.

Eventually she returned with the two girls, introducing them as Aubrey and Emma. Both clad in dark clothing and various piercings, they held an air about them suggesting open minded curiosity, which was all Casey and Orwell could ask for. It was now or never.

Orwell offered them each his hand. “Young ladies, thank you for your contribution towards the historic arts, we do appreciate your willingness to indulge us. My name is Professor Orwell McIntyre, and I specialize in the study of the ancient Sumerian religion and practices.”

Pleased, no doubt, as to finally be living out his fantasies as an academic, Casey thought to herself. She tried not to laugh and possibly offend Orwell as he continued his explanation.

“As my quite capable intern has explained, I am doing a presentation on the sacrificial practices of both the Sumerians and their contemporary Hebrew counterparts, and thought that perhaps video reenactment might prevent my students from getting bored during our lectures.”

“What college is this for again?” Emma, a redhead with a vertical labret and checkered bodice, cocked an eyebrow at Orwell, clearly the more leery of the two.

"Lewis and Clark College. Perhaps you would like a list of my credentials?"

Damn, Orwell really did come to prepared, didn't he? Casey wondered if maybe he had some business cards made up on the side as Emma shared a look with Aubrey. “No, that's ok. Be honest, this isn’t some weird fetish thing, is it?”

“Ladies, I assure you that nothing untoward will happen while you are in my company, I strive to maintain only the most professional of conduct. To risk my name on some form of disrepute behavior would invite the worst sort of obloquy down on me, and that I could not abide.”

Aubrey looked down at the camera Casey held and frowned. “Ok, so…this _isn’t_ going to end up on a shady website? I mean, people jack off to all kinds of things. Maybe even...ancient Samaritan rituals?”

Orwell looked exasperated, but Casey intervened before he could correct the girl. "It's not. I know it sounds kind of weird, but no porn, I promise. We're also willing to pay for your time," she added quickly. This seemed to satisfy the pair, and they followed Casey and Orwell off somewhere a bit more private. Orwell gave them the rundown as they walked.

“Some colleagues of mine appear to have come across a ritual that up until now has thought of being exclusively used during the worship of YHWH. Are you ladies familiar with the Day of Atonement?”

The girls stared at him blankly before the redhead pertly shook her head.

“We believe these manuscripts to show that it may have been co-opted into a ritual of purification to Pazuzu, or perhaps his father, Hanbi, King of the Evil Spirits. Now, while Pazuzu is incorrectly thought of as a purely malevolent deity due to his misrepresentation in ‘The Exorcist’, I would like to assure you that-”

“Professor, we _are_ pressed for time.” And by “pressed for time”, Casey meant that if Hedwig found out that Orwell and Casey were playing “pretend”, he would want the light asap. Casey had gotten good at making up excuses for the alters switching on the spot, but not _that_ good.

Orwell sighed dramatically, disappointed his lecture had to be cut short while he maintained a captive audience. “Yes, of course. Now, which of you ladies would like to play the Priest, and which would like to be the penitent?”

The girls stared at each other in silent conversation before Aubrey stepped forward. "Why are you holding a...what the hell is that, a roast?"

Pushing up his glasses, Orwell tried to smile disarmingly like he had observed Barry do time and time again. "As I mentioned, this is a study on the sacrificial practices of ancient religions. Clearly we won't be killing any animals for theoretic's sake, so we've made the appropriate substitution. Now, if you would lay your hands on the roast here, and recite these words, please.” He held out a few papers inscribed with the prayer the teens were to preform.

With barely concealed eye rolls they took the copies of the ritual, and Casey flipped on the camera and motioned for them to begin.

They recited in nervous monotone:

“_Forgive us, You who uphold and protect the broken, for our impurities are many. May our names be inscribed in your book, never to be blotted out, and may you destroy those who oppress the suffering. Take this offering of sin, accept our penance and our humility and be appeased. For on this day of atonement we shall be made cleansed of all our sins; we shall be clean before the Beast. When your day of judgement comes, may your shadow pass over us and our homes. Hail the Priestess! Hail the Broken! Hail the Beast_!”

“That was marvelous!” Orwell praised.

"That was metal," Aubrey added, now decidedly more interested in whatever this was all about. Casey just slipped her and Emma both a $20, hoping that they would chalk the entire encounter down to an oddity and go on with their lives. The sooner this was all over with, the better.

After the girls left with a shrug and a little wave, Orwell and Casey began the trek to the designated “ritual” area. They spent most of their time in quiet contemplation, each deep in thought. They were both aware of the serious ramifications that could occur from sneaking the Beast out behind Dennis's back, and as of now the only other people who were aware of their plan was Jade and Samuel, who agreed to act as sort of sentries. Orwell found Samuel above reproach, but initially resisted letting Jade in on their plan. Casey had been able to convince him otherwise- the bond between girlfriends was a powerful force, and Orwell could not deny that having someone as quick witted and brave as Jade on board couldn’t hurt.

As of now, those were their _only_ precautions, the only ones they could afford without upsetting the delicate internal balance that had so far been maintained. Once Patricia had been summoned, Jade would act as a distraction for the Others while Samuel and Orwell kept watch over the proceedings. 

It was time to enact step two.

* * *

At the base of a tree, Orwell reclined against its trunk, removing his glasses with some uncertainty. While they were at a public park, the place was massive and as the official closing hour drew near, they found themselves with plenty of privacy. He handed the glasses off to Casey for safe keeping, and she set them down next to the camera a few feet away. 

"What's the game plan if things go south?" she asked as he prepared to fetch the Beast. Orwell shrugged.

"Really, it shouldn't. If all goes well and the Beast finds his meal satisfactory, he has still resided in a weakened state for quite some time, and will take even more time to recover. It should be no matter for Jade, Samuel, and I to force him back out of the light. Not to mention he is still a captive thrall to Dennis, or so it seems."

Casey felt unsure, choosing to keep her doubts to herself, but her fear was palpable enough for Orwell to notice.

"My dear, do you see any other way out of our predicament?"

She shook her head. "No, and this is a good idea. I mean, it's a _risky_ idea, but it's our least damaging option."

"Agreed. I urge you to take the words of professor John Shedd to heart: 'A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for'. Sometimes progression requires risk, but I believe we will find ourselves victorious. You'll see.” Relaxing against the trunk, Orwell closed his eyes and left to retrieve the Beast.

Preparing herself for a maelstrom, Casey braced for the fury and strength of the twenty fourth alter, but when Kevin opened his eyes again, the intellect behind them was much more curious and restrained.

"Patricia?" Her voice was filled with trepidation, and the other woman nodded with a tight smile.

"You should know by now that you can't summon the Beast as you would one of the Others, little lamb. He must preserve his strength and cannot be bothered with..." she looked around, unimpressed and cocking an eyebrow. "Bothered with whatever this is. Where are we?" She moved to stand up, but Casey laid a hand on her shoulder, joining her on the ground instead.

“Can we just talk then? You and me?”

“What is there to discuss that hasn’t already been said?”

“We all…saw the news. We saw what the new Horde did to that poor…” the body had been so maimed it was impossible to tell gender or age, making the bile rise just that much faster into her mouth. “We saw what happened to that person in Pennsylvania, the one that was crucified. Patricia, that’s monstrous.”

"I assure you, that particular detail was not by my orders." 

"So you've recruited some maniacs and don't even have control over them?" 

Patricia looked away, silent, although Casey had the feeling it was because she was offended and not because she didn't have a response. She tried approaching from a different angle. “You love Kevin, and I love Kevin. How are you still willing to go through with this, despite knowing how much all this killing hurts him?”

"My, youdo love your questions, don't you? Now I have one for you." Cold eyes stared daggers at her, blue irises chilled over like lake water in the middle of winter. “Once, when I walked in blindness, I was taught that a house divided against itself cannot stand; perhaps the only lesson from my time with the false god worth remembering. Do you understand what that means, dove?"

Casey nodded her head grimly, and Patricia clicked her tongue. "Then what do you hope to accomplish by playing both sides?”

“You’re the prophet, you tell me what my intentions are!” The words came out sharper than Casey had intended, but she was tired of Patricia's inability to even _consider_ giving an inch. Was this woman truly a part of the man she loved? Kevin, so gentle and empathetic, surely had no part of himself that could ever be this cold.

Once again Patricia fell silent, and Casey poked at the ground with a stick, drawing spirals in the dirt as she waited. Much to her surprise, eventually the other woman grabbed her hand and held it to her chest, no malice behind the gesture.

“Dove, I see a plague of impurity coming to wash us away, and our only hope withered by time and hunger. A great, ravenous moon rises, a light that will expose the evil done in the dark. If we do not unleash it, we will perish, the Unpure and the Broken alike. I tell you this with utmost certainty, because Kevin loves you and _He_ loves you. Believe I am cruel and cold-hearted if you must, but never doubt that I am telling you the truth.”

Casey considered before standing up, brushing the grass and detritus from her pants. "I do believe you. I still need to speak with him for myself, though."

Patricia tutted, moving to stand alongside her. “Surely not to repeat what happened last time? While your sacrifice touched His heart, it is not your flesh that He needs to sustain us.”

“No. I have…a proposition for him.”

“Another one? What will it be this time? A rare steak? Some Five Guys, perhaps?” She chuckled, obviously pleased with herself. “He loves you, but even His patience can only go so-"

Choking, her eyes briefly widened while shudders wracked her body. The telltale signs of the Beast appeared, veins and muscle marring Kevin's skin, eyes growing cataract before her. Apparently he did not share in Patricia's desire for him to stay away and wasted no time with greetings.

"What is it, child?" He moved as a snake now, upper body fluidly twisting around to take in his surroundings; perhaps his sense of smell and taste were evolving to compensate for his blindness?

Casey found her voice. "I have food for you."

"I hear no whimpers." The Beast cocked his head to the side, listening intently. "No pleas for mercy, and I smell no tears. Once again, I don't believe you have called me forth to provide me with sacred food."

"You know I haven't, not in the way you demand. And I'm sure you knew that before you came out of hiding to see me."

Only after she spoke did Casey realize the implication of her choice of words, and the Beast stood taller, glaring down at the direction of her voice. “Not hiding. Resting. Preserving my strength. Your last tribute has sustained me, temporary as its effects were." His snarl softened as he said this, and once again Casey felt a stab of grief over his suffering. Seeing any part of Kevin in pain was difficult.

“You’re still starving.”

“Yes.”

“So are you willing to hear me out?”

“...Yes.”

Retrieving the uncooked roast, Casey brought it over to him, laying it at his feet. "It's not human, no, but it is ritually consecrated meat."

This grabbed the Beast's attention. "Explain yourself."

She did so, providing video evidence of the day's earlier activities. He seemed to not know what to make of it. "These young ones are...Horde?"

_No, it was an act we had to put on to satisfy your ego. _"You would be surprised to know how many people are desperate to unburden themselves of guilt." That part was true at least. "They offer their sins to you in exchange for absolution."

The Beast growled, thinking it over. "You should have brought them to me. I must judge their worthiness."

"You know I couldn't risk that."

"My sacred duty is not yours to dictate!" Snapping his jaws in her direction, he clamped down at the last minute, reigning in his temper. Clearly the smell of food was making him desperate. "I will take their offering, for now. Mark me, soon I will no longer need to rely on my enemies for survival.”

Surprisingly, Casey found that his words stung. “Am I your enemy?”

There was no response as he inhaled the raw animal flesh, ripping into it like it was his final meal, and for all he knew, it was. It was there and then it was gone, and when finished, he glanced up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Even as I grow weaker, my Horde grows stronger, and they will sustain me when the time comes for the final battle of will. I will tear off my chains and reclaim all that the Traitor has stolen from me, and more.” A hand reached out for her and she grabbed it so he would not have to grope. “Beloved, you risk so much helping me, we both know I believe in the purity of my convictions and I will not stay my hand in the presence of the impure. The time is coming when you will need to choose a side…and I hope it is by mine.”

His enemy, his beloved-Casey couldn't tell if he wasn't as positive about his convictions as claimed, or if he was just playing with her emotions. Before she could say as much, he cocked his head. “We’re not alone anymore, child.”

“Wh..what to you mean?” She glanced around nervously, had someone inadvertently walked up on their conversation?

The Beast remained unperturbed. “The father of all broken approaches. We will talk again soon, Beloved. The Others may try and keep me away, but it’s futile. Glory awaits us.” The Beast inclined his head in silent respect and stepped back, allowing his progenitor to enter the light. Kevin stepped forward once, twice, before stumbling and falling to the ground, body seeming to shrink before her eyes.

“Casey.” He tried to speak, but he was shaking like a leaf, the Beast’s power flooding out of him like his own life blood, leaving him weak and drained. Also, there was the little matter that he just caught his girlfriend talking to the fucking _Beast_, and it terrified him. “Did I…please tell me no one got hurt. Please tell me I didn’t do anything bad.”

“No…Kevin, no.” Casey rubbed his arms soothingly, trying to stop his wracking chills. “I asked to speak with him.”

“Oh god, not you too.”

“It’s not what you think. Orwell and I are…trying to find a cure, I guess?”

Kevin laughed humorlessly, huddling into her like she was his lifeline. “A cure for what, being a death god? Is there a cure for that besides obliteration?”

“Don’t say things like that, I love you.”

The admonishment took him by surprise and he stopped shivering, feeling both bewildered and ashamed. “Then will you please tell me what’s going on?”

Casey took his hand and spent the next twenty minutes going over everything, from Dennis’s heroics, to the Beast’s hunger, to Orwell’s attempts to, at the very least, get them stabilized and healthy. Kevin took it all in surprisingly well, given what had transpired between him and Dennis before. Curiosity was getting the better of him.

“Did this attempt at feeding the Beast work?”

“I'm not sure. I mean, he ate, but I don't know if his body will...accept it, I guess.”

Kevin sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Do we know if there will be any repercussions to this? What if he goes after those girls, Casey?”

"Well, we did record it so he wouldn't be able to catch their scents, and he doesn't know what they look like, obviously. If all goes well, I'm assuming he'll just consider them a part of his flock or whatever."

"And then what? We keep doing this every week? That's a ridiculous amount of effort. Maybe we should just, I don't know, call a priest or something."

"Orwell and I tried exorcism already."

Kevin did a double take, unsure if she was playing with him. "That was a joke."

Casey flushed, feeling foolish even though she knew that wasn't his intention. “He seems to hold respect for you, maybe you could try...talking to him? He called you ‘the father of all broken’ before he left.”

Kevin took a few seconds to roll the title around in his head before deciding he really didn’t like the sound of it. “I’m so tired of the Others using me. I don’t want to be the father of _anything_, and I certainly don’t want to be associated with brokenness.” He sighed, looking so much smaller than the Beast. “I just want to be normal, Casey.”

“You are though.”

“Please, I just came out of deep sleep to find my girlfriend talking to a self-proclaimed god that’s…possessing me? That’s not normal.”

Without another word, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, and he reciprocated in kind, hungry for the affection. When they broke apart, Casey moved her arms from his neck down to his waist, pressing herself tightly against his chest. “I thought you’d be angrier.” She didn’t want to look at his face, didn’t want to see the disappointment there.

“You don’t have to hide from me Case, I’m not gonna yell.” He tipped her chin up, crooked smile briefly opening up his face. “I know you’re trying to help, I just don’t want to be kept in the dark anymore, alright?”

“Seriously?” She was stunned, this was a far cry from how she expected he would react. “Dennis told me that when you and him last spoke, it was really upsetting for you. I didn’t think you’d want…”

“Yeah, I know. But we gotta take care of each other now, right? It’s easier to hide when I only have to worry about myself, but I’m not letting you take this on all alone. If something happened to you, I don't know what I'd do.” 

There was nothing else he could have said that would have made her happier. “I still don’t think we should tell the others.”

“We, uh…we don’t have to."

“Won’t everyone know due to the fact that you know?”

“It doesn’t quite work like that.” Kevin rubbed his face, not entirely sure if that were true or not, but he was pretty certain it was. It wasn’t like he had much to keep from them in the past, but they had certainly hid things from _him_. Why would it not work both ways? “I agree though, I think the less people know that we’re actively engaging with the Beast, the better. Just…next time you try something, I want to be there, ok? I’m not sure if I can do anything if he gets out of hand, but...hiding isn’t an option anymore.”

“I understand. And thank you. For believing in me.”

“Hey, you believed in me first." The sun was beginning to set, the evening bringing a chill with it, and Kevin shuddered again. "Can we go home now? I've got the creeps just knowing he was here eating 'sacred food', or whatever.”

"Yeah." She stood up, reaching back down to help him up. "Pasta or hamburgers tonight?"

"Huh?"

"For dinner, what should we have?"

"I get to pick?"

His mind seemed blown over this simple pleasure, and Casey marveled. "Sure. And if you're a good boy later on, maybe we'll break out the ice cream."

For a moment it seemed like he didn't realize she was teasing, but she just barely dodged his hands in time as he reached out to grab her. As they chased each other all over the park, laughing like children, there was no sign of a Beast having been there at all.

* * *

Fuming.

Fuming is what Dennis was doing, and he hated it, it made him feel small. But god, everything was so irritating today. His encounter with Casey the day before left him frustrated beyond belief, and when he went to actually put his nervous energy to use by calling a group meeting and informing everyone they needed to come up with a way to contribute to the the household, it… went over worse then expected, and Dennis did not expect it to go well. Children. He was responsible for Kevin, Casey, and a bunch of children. Fucks sake.

Speaking of children, Barry had been moping all evening and it was obvious that Casey and Orwell were hiding something from the rest of the group. If they thought Jade making a scene would be enough to keep Dennis from realizing something was up, they had another thing coming, he had been doing this job for too long. He still wasn't sure if he should confront them about it, but god did it grate him, and he assumed that was part of why Barry was in a mood. NEITHER of them had been born yesterday, so why the dog and pony show? Even if Casey didn’t know better (and she really should have), Orwell DEFINITELY did.

What were they up to?

_Stop_. It was time to stop overthinking and get to work. He had his police scanner out, after so diligently making sure it got from Pennsylvania to Oregon in one piece. Now that he had some time to use it, all he could manage to do was sit and stare, too bothered by the day’s events. By Casey keeping secrets from him, pushing him away. By the thought of her heart pounding against his body as he penetrated her mouth with his fingers, so close to all of his discipline coming undone in one moment.

Shit.

Something nudged at him, a bit more forceful than usual, and Dennis sighed, relaxing his hold on the light. This was fine, he could use the distraction anyway. "What's going on, Barry?"

_Hows the detective work going?_

"I haven't started yet."

_Why not?_

"There's been a lot on my mind, if you couldn't tell."

_Right. Right. Well...do ya want some help?_

If he were honest with himself, this sudden change of heart on Barry's end also stressed him out. While he had no choice in the matter if Barry (or Jade or Goddard or anyone else) came along with him on his excursions, the extent of their involvement was supposed to be limited. This was mostly due to Dennis's protective nature, but he also didn't need to deal with the Others debating every little choice he made, this wasn't their mission. Of course, having Barry along also meant more cooperation from the Others when he_ did_ need their help, and that would be an inevitability.

He decided to take the path of least resistance. Besides, Barry's company was usually calming, and Dennis could stand for a bit of that right now. "I'm not sure how much help I'll need just sitting here and listening, but you're welcome to stay."

_Aight, cool. What are we listening for, exactly?_

The question of the night, and Dennis wasn't sure how to answer. He just assumed he would know when he heard it. “There’s gotta be like a kingpin or pimp, right? The head of the beast, so to speak? I was just going to be taking some notes on any names that came up and hope that Orwell would be willing to help me out with the research.”

_Man, if that’s all we have to go on, we’re in trouble._

It occurred to Dennis that he wished that things had turned out differently with the Overseer. The man had over a decade of heroics to his name before he had been put down like a rabid animal. He risked so much to protect other people, and in return he was murdered, his goodness repayed with suffering. Perhaps at his core, David Dunn was one of the broken as well.

_What’s on your mind, baby boy?_

“Huh?” Dennis hadn’t realized he zoned out.

_I lost ya there for a second._

“Was wishing that David Dunn was still around. His insight would have been invaluable, assuming he would even talk to me.”

The sensation of Barry's chuckle rumbled through Dennis's stomach and up into his rib cage. _Ah, the game of ‘What Could Have Been’. I hate it, but I keep playing. Lose every time, too._

His voice was light, but Dennis suddenly became aware of the fact that the both of them were at the mouth of the giant hellhole that was their memories of the distant past, and either of them could go tumbling down at any moment. That was not a trip he was inclined to take tonight. 

“You speak to Casey today?” He mindlessly played with a few dials on the scanner, trying to keep his tone casual. He didn't need Barry thinking he was paranoid.

_Yeah._ A mixture of resentment and disappointment tinged Barry's voice. _If you’re thinking that Jade’s weird behavior this afternoon had something to do with Casey and Orwell, I agree. If you want to know if I’ve got any insight into what that is, I’m sorry to say that’s a negative._

Dennis huffed, although a small part of him was relieved that he wasn’t the only one being left in the dark. "I'm glad you said that, because it's been bothering me too."

_Hard not to notice. Up until Kevin woke up this evening, I thought that maybe Orwell and Casey were getting closer than either of them were letting on._

That made Dennis flinch for some reason. “Is that why you were moping around like a teenager all afternoon?"

_Please, I wish they were dating, then at least I would know what was going on._

On that, they both agreed. "And Casey didn't tell you anything else?"

_I mean, I don’t know, I tried. Normally I just smile and wink at someone, and they melt to pieces before spilling the tea. I’m afraid Casey has become resistant to my charms._

“Charm? Is that what you call it?”

_What is with you and the sass lately? But sure, why don’t we do it your way? Maybe you could beat her with a mop, see how that goes over._

“Hilarious.”

_Or ya can hold her down, and we’ll get Hedwig to recite the entire Suicide Squad movie, line by line. Have him do the voices and everything._

Dennis got up from the table, smiling despite the fact he was going to bed frustrated. He could tell they weren't going to be making any progress with the scanner, and on top of that started work early the next morning. “I think you and I would both break before Casey did.”

For a long moment the pair stood silently, contemplating options until Barry sighed. _Well, whatever is going on, I assume Kevin is in on it now. Maybe we should just let it go, ya know? Let him deal with it as he sees fit._

That felt desperately wrong to Dennis. They were there to take care of KEVIN, not the other way around. If he were to start taking on the brunt of everyone's problems, what would even be the point of having Dennis around anymore?

Footsteps could be heard echoing down the hall and towards the kitchen, and Dennis nearly panicked. He had been avoiding Casey in the hopes that he would come up with some way to explain just what had happened the day before, that he had lost control and she didn't have to worry, he had no intention of taking advantage of her. Unfortunately the words just weren't coming. Instead he just did what came naturally-sucked it up and prayed she wouldn't see through the stern frown on his face. Unfortunately, the gentle touch on his lower back as soon as she entered the kitchen immediately dissolved all of his resolution.

"Hey Dennis. What are you up to?" Her eyes were downcast as she spoke, seeming almost embarrassed, even though he had been the one avoiding her. He could sense Barry's presence diminishing, and wasn’t sure if he should be cursing or thanking him for the privacy. 

“Casey. I don’t suppose you want to tell me what happened this afternoon?” He sounded much calmer than he felt, thankful that at least his voice hadn't gotten away from him.

“Maybe. First you tell me where you disappeared to yesterday.” It was a gamble on her end, but she wasn’t really concerned. Dennis could always be counted on to shut up when it came time to talking about their relationship, or lack of. She would gladly give him some answers if it meant he was finally clear with her on where he stood.

"It was Goddard's turn in the light. You know how excitable he gets when things don't go his way." The fruit bowl on the kitchen isle was askew and Dennis moved to fix it so he didn't have to see the look on her face. He had become a very good liar over the course of his lifetime, it was a necessary skill to survive in the Crumb household. For some reason, they always fell flat around Casey.

"Oh."

"Look, I've got work first thing in the morning. I should be getting to bed."

Casey sighed, already knowing that was all she would get from him. "Will you stay with me? I didn't like spending the evening by myself yesterday." Without an (acceptable) mattress, they had relegated themselves to sleeping on the floor, although B.T. went to bed with the light and opted to sleep in another room. It got lonely real fast, especially in a new house.

Wanting to say yes but knowing he shouldn't, Dennis rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly exhausted. "I don't know Casey, I need a good nights sleep and I'm not used to sharing space like that."

"Please? I'll have to get up with you anyway, can't have you going to work hungry."

"You really don't have to, I know how to feed myself."

"Dennis..."

It was more plea than exclamation, and he relented, knowing he was the reason she had to make do with sleeping on a floor to begin with. "Alright. Let me get some clean blankets for us, then."

They set up their sleeping area quickly and quietly, and when they lay down, Casey predictably remained close. In the darkness Dennis could hear her breathing, and he wanted to wrap his arms around her. Instead he stared up at the ceiling, eyes adjusting to the lack of light in the room, and made mental notes of where there seemed to be water damage in the southwest corner. Irritating.

"You can't keep me in the dark forever, Casey," he eventually whispered, not even sure if she was still awake.

In response she rolled over so she could more easily curl up into him, hands lightly grasping his cotton shirt. "I could say the same to you."

He supposed she could. The question was, who would give in first?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man. Dennis and Bear are all jealous and  

> 
> and Orwell be like  

> 
> Stay tuned. Next chapter is going to be the beginning culmination of all that's been teased and promised for 30+ chapters. As they say in one of my all time favorite movies (no, not _that_ one): _It is time._


	32. His Second Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis makes a choice

Despite her intentions to wake up with Dennis and send him off to work with a stomach full of food, Casey slowly came out of sleep to realize that the man was long gone, having risen hours ago. How had he managed to get ready and leave without waking her?

She resisted the urge to go outside and track him down; he was hired to be a farmhand so had to be somewhere on the property. The only problem was that the farm grounds covered 600 acres, minimum, and even if she did manage to find him, she figured showing up like a clingy significant other would just be a source of embarrassment.

Instead she spent the day cleaning, exploring the outer grounds of their rental, and preparing dinner. If she couldn’t get him breakfast, surely she could have a nice meal waiting for him when he returned. Part of her chafed at what felt like an easy slip into domestic servitude, but he was out there toiling so the rest of them could live comfortably, and where Dennis went, the Others went. So that left it all to her.

When he walked through the doorway at six o'clock precisely, she nearly dropped the plate she had just removed from the oven. Apparently someone had been so overwhelmed with first day jitters that he forgot he was pale enough to glow in a snowstorm and hadn't taken sunscreen along. Poor Dennis was going to be in a world of pain tomorrow from the looks of his irritated skin.

“How did someone as attentive as you forget something like sunscreen?” Casey asked, torn between amusement and pity.

Blinking, Dennis slowly took notice of his skin and slumped down onto a kitchen chair. “Oh god, there’s gonna be skin peeling everywhere. I...I gotta set some plastic down.”

Laying a delicate hand on his forearm, Casey could already feel he was warm to the touch. “Um, I was more concerned for your health. Cancer is a thing, Dennis.” 

“I am...disgusting. Look at this, I'm redder than a tomato!” His accent grew thicker as he yelled, then petered out into a whine. "What is wrong with me?"

“Are you even listening to me?” Casey set the plate down in front of him but he barely noticed, staring at his arms with growing alarm, like at any minute they might detach from his body and stab him.

Casey did not play Rachel Ray in the kitchen all evening just so Dennis could ignore her food in favor of a glaring match with his own limbs. Setting a glass of ice water down a little harder then necessary, she placed a fork in his hand and then headed for the door. "I will walk over to the Huff's and see if they have aloe. You are going to eat dinner. I swear that plate better be polished off by the time I get back here, or I'll keep all your dead skin and make little voodoo dolls out of it. And I will poke them. Repeatedly."

She couldn't be sure, but thought she heard a slight whimper from the kitchen, and then the sound of a fork scraping up food. Satisfied, she walked out the door.

* * *

"It was just an observation, I wasn't expecting him to have a meltdown. And by the time I got back, he disappeared on me!"

Kevin flinched as the cold aloe meet his severely burned neck, and Casey eased up immediately. "I'm so sorry, does that hurt?"

Craning his head up to look at her, he bit his lower lip, bashful. "No, it actually feels kind of good. Just really, really cold."

Usually (and Casey would say understandably), something about having his wounds dressed was hard for Kevin to cope with, but Casey's gentle care seemed to make all of the difference in the world. "It's fine, Casey. That sort of reaction isn't exactly something you could foresee, even with Dennis." He began picking at his arm, skin already beginning to flake. "You're right though, it is odd he forgot. Must just be the stress of everything we've been dealing with."

"I _was_ kind of mean to him."

"There's a difference between tough love and being mean."

"I suppose so." She drew a frowny face in aloe on Kevin's upper back, and it was totally judging her. "Do you think he'll talk to me before we go to bed? I want to apologize, anyway."

"He knows, Case. You're the best thing that's ever happened to any of us. I mean, you actually treat us like normal people for god's sake! Why don't you talk to him now? I don't mind." 

"I think...I think he and Barry are holding some sort of powwow with Orwell."

That jostled Kevin's memory, Barry had said something of the sort earlier. He picked harder at his skin, frustrated at how out of control he felt sometimes. "Something about human traffickers, right? I don't even know."

"Right." It was easy enough to tell that talking about it put Kevin in a mood, so she changed the subject. "Is it weird that there's, like, a meeting room inside of your mind?"

He remained silent for a moment, scratching his jaw. "When you put it like that, yes, it's extremely weird."

They both laughed, amused, and Casey sat down on the sofa, stretching out her body and resting her head on his lap. Kevin sighed and tried to relax while still avoiding touching the furniture, Dennis would throw a fit if he noticed aloe stains on the fabric. "This is kind of nice," he yawned, Dennis's day of hard labor catching up to their body. "How long do you think we can keep playing house like this?"

Casey smiled, a flush creeping up her cheeks. "Forever, I hope."

Forever sounded good to Kevin.

* * *

As the months followed, a comfortable pattern was established, a groove worn into the reality of their day to day life. Much of Dennis’s time was spent working, either out with Mr. Huff or fixing up their new home. The others contributed to the best of their abilities- Norma and B.T. were on food prep, Luke and Jalin helped with the heavy lifting, even Hedwig drew artwork for the walls. Barry began sewing dresses in earnest for the ladies in town (“those poor women, the best they’ve ever known is Walmart. Time to bougie this place up,” he would wink as he sat down at his sewing machine). Every two weeks Casey would take his creations and the produce that Luke had been growing in his little garden patch down to a farmers market, each time coming back home empty handed with a purse full of cash.

When Kevin would enter the light, Dennis, Barry, and Orwell would sit down and work through where to strike the traffickers first. The tension between the men was palpable as Orwell still refused to give up his secrets, but Dennis swallowed his pride and continued with the partnership for two reasons. One, he realized that the path to redemption would never be easy, and two, deep down he secretly hoped that it would help build a sense of camaraderie between them. Even now Orwell was not silent on his disdain for Dennis’s decision to join the Horde, and even now Dennis still longed for acceptance. He wasn't sure if that trust could ever be earned back, but he would try until his dying day.

One night, their labor began to bear fruit. Through careful research and a process of elimination, Orwell had been able to find the name and address of a supposed ex trafficker. His sentencing had been light due to a plea bargain made with the D.A. in exchange for information, and further good behavior while serving his time had reduced his sentence from ten years to three. Whether or not he had really turned a new leaf was irrelevant, it was clear this man could name names. That’s where Dennis would begin.

* * *

Barry was sleeping in his chair, after having spent the last three hours reinforcing the seams of five different skirts. His work had become a hot commodity around town, constantly keeping him busy. Creative energy spent for the day, he dropped the light and relaxed, only to give in to the call of oblivion a minute or two after.

Casey’s yelps cut through the chair room and into his dreams, everyone raising their heads uneasily as Barry jolted up from his chair, concerned. Who had the light right now? It was supposed to be Dennis, and for the life of him Barry couldn’t figure out what might be going on up on the surface. He figured if anyone would have a handle on getting things under control it would be Dennis, up until a loud shriek pierced the air and he went rushing into the light.

He almost flung Dennis to the side with the force of his arrival, and when he looked down, nearly had a heart attack. Casey lay beneath their body, yelling and desperately trying to get away. Just at the exact second he was about to punt Dennis from the light, a delightful laugh rang out from her. She reached up and tried to wrestle them into a headlock that Dennis did little to avoid, chuckling at her overtures before easily extracting himself and pinning her wrists to the ground.

Relief flooded Barry, warm and languid. They had just been roughhousing, and Dennis was so relaxed that his usual iron grip on the light had slipped. Barry marveled, not used to seeing him behave this way, not since they were young teens. He wrestled against Casey's attempts to overpower him, and while obviously there was no way for Casey to beat him, let alone pin him, his body allowed plenty of give as she pushed back.

Eventually she realized she was getting nowhere fast. “Barry, help!”

That was his cue. Surely Dennis had already realized he wasn’t alone, but Barry announced his presence for Casey’s sake. “Hey guys. What’s going on here?”

“Calling in reinforcements? Really Casey?” Dennis chuckled, turning his attention to Barry. “Little minx thought it would be funny to hide the bleach, made me chase her around half the damn house before I caught up with her.”

Taking advantage of Barry’s distraction, Casey managed to wiggle out from underneath Dennis and nearly got away, but he grabbed her calf and easily pulled her back, eliciting another round of laughter. “Where do you think you’re going? Where’s my bleach?”

She squirmed. “No more bleach, Dennis! It’s murder on your hands and gives me the worst headaches!”

“Hmmm…” His thumb twitched against her ankle, rubbing little circles into the skin before traveling up and resting underneath her knee. “What if I promise to use gloves from now on?”

“How about you just don’t use it twenty-four seven? This is a home, not a public gym.”

Without warning he lurched forward, palms planted on either side of her head. He pretended to think a moment before kissing the tip of her nose. “Fine, if it’s really bothering you that much. But you have to promise to stop tracking dirt in from Luke's garden, it's driving me up a wall.”

"I do not! Who else would it be but Luke?"

"I always make sure he takes our shoes off before he steps one foot into this house." He trapped her more tightly against the floor, stretching her body out. "I can stay like this all day."

"Ok, ok, _fine_! I'll be more careful!"

"Good girl." His breath was warm against her collarbone, lips only inches from her own. Despite the intimate nature of their contact, his eyes were bright and alert, teasing. He had forgotten himself, and it was incredible.

Squirming, little whines escaped Casey of their own volition, hips snapping up into his, and only then did he realize just how close they were. Like an animal in the headlights of an oncoming car, he froze, unsure of how he had allowed himself to let down his guard so easily.

Barry felt his hesitance and tried to encourage him. _You're fine, Dennis, you guys are just having some fun._

Something inside snapped. Barry’s words, Casey’s touch, it became too much. Dennis choked, the sight in front of him quickly taking on a far more sinister light; this was dangerous, he might do something terrible.

Casey recognized the look in his eyes and shook her head, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Don’t go, Dennis. It’s ok.”

“I gotta...I'm sorry, I have to go,” he muttered, repeating Kevin’s words of surrender from long ago.

Even as he disappeared, Barry could feel their shared heart sputter with anxious pleasure, and he sighed. "Well, can't say we didn't-"

Casey’s mouth was on him in an instant, exasperated and needing an outlet for her lust. Barry’s mood matched hers immediately, straddling her supine form, ready to help expend the pent up energy. She bucked into him as his mouth moved lower, sucking on her neck.

“You enjoyed that, didn’t ya?" he gasped, in between marking her skin with his teeth. "You enjoyed being pinned to the ground, sweaty and writhing underneath him.” His hands moved to her rear, grinding their pelvises together. “Naughty naughty.” 

His words made her flush, and she panted in frustration. “If I had known that’s how he’d react, I’d have stolen his stupid bleach forever ago.”

“He's a stubborn motherfucker," Barry agreed. His mouth found hers again and nipped her lower lip. "So cruel, leaving you all flustered. Whatever shall we do about that?”

Their ardor was frantic, Casey's hunger driving Barry to fuck all of the need out of her. When they were finished, both came away with bruises and bite marks, lips swollen and energy depleted, but he could tell she was still bothered by Dennis's sudden change of heart.

As they lay there, sticky and panting, Casey practically burrowed into Barry's side. "Bear, does Dennis think I'm disgusting?"

He stared at her, surprised. She blushed furiously, assuming that was an affirmative. "Am I not clean enough for him? I mean, I can't shower multiple times a day because it will damage my hair, but I'd like to think my personal hygiene is pretty good."

Opportunistic, Barry slid his tongue inside her mouth, coaxing her into another round of making out. When they pulled away, he grinned cheekily. "Your personal hygiene checks out to me. Why such bizarre questions, sweetheart?"

It took Casey a few moments to gather her thoughts, still reeling from Barry's affections, and she twirled a finger in his hair as she considered. "It feels like every time we get close, something in him changes and he practically runs away."

"Guess Dennis thinks girls still have cooties."

"Barry." Normally Casey enjoyed his teasing, but she was desperate for answers right now.

Barry sighed, rolling over and propping himself up on an elbow, his expression apologetic. “Dennis is just being Dennis, doll. He’s never been the type to do the romantic declarations of love. But we do all care for ya, it’s unanimous. We pretty much have to, in order for you and Kevin to be together. Dennis just shows affection differently.”

Casey idly stared at a Mucha painting Kevin had picked out for her after their first night together, too focused on her thoughts to really appreciate what was on the canvas. “He still thinks he's dangerous.”

“Right.” Barry sat up, settling cross legged before her. “You know Kevin’s mother really did a number on him.”

For a moment he looked away briefly, like he wished he were anywhere else in the world, not having this conversation. “I had my moments with Penelope, but there was a lot I didn't see, Dennis would block us all from the light. Eventually he did let me share in some of his memories, and baby girl, they were not good.”

For the millionth time, Casey’s heart broke for Dennis, instantly deflating her annoyance. “I remember him telling me a little when we first moved into the cabin. He said Kevin’s mom 'infected' him. Touched him.” She looked down at the ground, nervously playing with a strand of her hair. “Like my uncle touched me, I mean.”

Barry screwed his face up, for the moment looking so much like Dennis, then sighed and reached out for Casey, pulling her to his chest. “Yeah. You’re so much stronger than we are, doll. He endured a lot so that the rest of us,” he tapped his temple, “would have a fighting chance to have some semblance of a normal existence. Romance and a sane sex life were never really on the menu for Dennis. His thoughts were…dark, for a long while, so much so I felt I had to keep him banished.”

An old memory long buried resurfaced for Casey. “Marcia,” she whispered, thinking back to the night of the kidnapping. “He wanted her to dance for him.”

Shuddering, Barry made a face clearly indicating his distaste. “A few months before the Beast emerged, I was at work, when these two girls came up to talk to me. I was being friendly, wanted to give them good customer service. Typical, right? I guess I gave them the wrong impression, because when I made it clear that I was just being friendly and NOT trying to score with high schoolers, they, uh…”

For the first time ever, Casey watched Barry grow visibly flustered, stumbling over his words like he was trying to talk with pieces of glass in his mouth. He started and stopped a few times before she touched his arm in a gesture of solidarity, and he looked down at her hand, startled. “Sorry hon, this is hard for me to talk about, fucked me up for days.”

“Bear...you don’t have to keep going if it’s too painful.”

He seemed to briefly consider this, but then shook his head. “No, I was making a point, and I think it’s important ya hear it. Long story short, before I could even react they grabbed my hands and shoved them under their shirts, right on top of their breasts. Then they ran away laughing. They thought it was hysterical, but... I felt violated, stupid as that might sound.”

Casey was furious on his behalf. “That’s not stupid at all.”

“It was hard for me, but it triggered the hell out of Dennis. That’s what tipped him over to the Horde, I think. But baby girl, love and romance, even sex, he’s never really had good experience with any of it. He has no way to measure what a normal relationship is like, because it’s always been about pain and obsession with him. He’s trying to protect ya, not hurt your feelings.”

“So why have you been telling me nonstop to be honest with him?”

Instead of responding right away, Barry bent down to plant a soft kiss on her lips, sighing into her mouth. “I’ve been encouraging ya to be honest with him because he deserves happiness, and I think he’s going to come around one day. Just be patient with him, yeah?”

Casey didn’t answer, just leaned into her boyfriend, trying to unpack everything he just told her. “I really know how to pick ‘em, don’t I?” she mumbled into his chest.

Laughing, Barry poked her sides and stood up. “Don’t be getting second thoughts now, you’re stuck with us! Now for God's sake, what's a guy gotta do to get some sleep around here?”

* * *

Barry, despite his complaints, did not go back to his chair to sleep. It was time to lead the horse to the water and remind him just how damn THIRSTY he was. Watching things play out the way they were was torture for everyone involved, and he was over it. Time to get shit sorted.

Without a word he pulled Dennis over to the side, wanting him to know that he meant business, even if it meant getting his ass kicked. "It’s not fair, what you’re doing to Casey.”

The air in the room chilled considerably as Dennis regarded him. Dennis “doing” something to Casey was exactly what he was afraid of, what did Barry think that he had been staying away for?

He grunted, rubbing an agitated hand over his scalp. “You’re one to talk about playing fair. Why are you trying to get me to lose control? I thought we were family. I thought you loved Casey."

The implication made Barry see red, and he took a few seconds to breath deeply and get his temper under control. “There’s a lot of nasty things ya could get away with saying about me, but don’t ever imply I don’t love either of you. Maybe I’m just sick of watching ya both stew in your own feelings.”

Dennis didn't deign to respond.

“That’s ok, you can give me the silent treatment all ya want. Saying my piece doesn’t require you to talk anyway. Time to put on your big boy pants and face reality.”

Dennis's eyes narrowed furiously. “I'm sorry, reality? Whose reality are we talking about here? The _reality_ is that one of us is practically an angel that everyone adores, and the other is just...someone that exists to be convenient, when he's not tripping over his own filth. Barry, you have no idea what MY reality even is.”

"And that is....what? That you fucked up? I know, Dennis, we all know." Despite the scathing nature of his words, Barry's face gentled immediately. "And I understand why. Casey is a big girl though, she's old enough to make her own choices. We can all see that you love her."

For fuck's sake. “What do you want from me?” Dennis growled, enunciating each word as though he could push the other man away by force of them alone. "I'm struggling enough as it is, can't you see that? Isn't it your job to help me?"

“I AM helping you, ya giant dofus. I want you to tell me why you’re stringing Casey along.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Give me a break. You tell her there’s no chance of a relationship, and then ya go and get handsy with her, again and again.”

“That’s not what I was-”

“The way I see it, there’s two ways this could go.” Barry acted as though Dennis hadn't said anything. “One, ya keep doing what you’re doing, giving in to that nasty voice in your head, and most likely Casey will come to resent ya.”

Dennis tried to defend himself, but Barry held up a finger. “I’m not done. Or two, despite all of your fear, you could give in and be there for Casey the way she needs ya. You’ll be loved, and maybe you’ll even discover that worm thing has been lying to ya all along.”

“You couldn't possibly-”

“I know you’re brave, Dennis. You’re the bravest person I know. Maybe it’s time to be brave on account of yourself now.”

"If you think-"

Barry shushed him. “I don’t wanna hear it. Make excuses if ya have to, but keep them to yourself. I love the both of you, and this is getting impossible to watch. That young woman is my heart. Hurry up and decide what the fuck you're doing, cause I can’t stand watching ya hurt her again and again.” 

What to say to that? Merely nodding, Dennis withdrew back to his chair, signaling that his patience for the conversation, and subsequently Barry, had run out. The younger alter let him be, satisfied that his point had been made.

* * *

The bed shifting was enough to rouse Dennis from a fitful sleep and his mind immediately jumped to the worst. Although he was slowly getting used to sharing space with another person, nighttime sojourns still reminded him of all the times he was up late as a child, nursing new wounds. Being up early in the A.M. usually meant trouble.

He sat up, trying not to panic. “Casey, is something wrong?” He reached out instinctively to grab her shoulders, checking for any sign of injury or discomfort. She looked fine physically, but her eyes were glassy and there were dark bags underneath them. She flinched at his concern.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

His brows relaxed when he realized she wasn’t in immediate trouble, but he didn’t release his hold on her. “It’s fine, I never need much sleep anyway. What’s going on? Are you having nightmares again?”

Nightmares had not been a problem for Casey in a number of months, but Dennis knew from experience that didn’t mean they would never come back. Sometimes they just liked to hide, until you felt like maybe you were all right. Then they would reappear and remind you that you never really would be all right, to stop being so foolish. It was foolish to hope.

In the darkness, he could just barely make out Casey shaking her head. “No nightmares. Honestly at this point, I’d be glad for even that,” She sagged into the mattress helplessly. “I just can’t sleep. I’ve been tossing and turning for the past three hours. I thought that maybe some chamomile tea might settle my thoughts. Although now that you're up, I wouldn't mind having someone to talk to.”

He regarded her coolly, then sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “You want Barry or Kevin?”

Casey should have been used to this by now, but the fact that he held himself in so little regard still managed to catch her by surprise. “I’m happy you’re the one in the light, actually. To be honest, some of the things keeping me up…they’re about you.”

The admission made Dennis squeeze his eyes shut and work his jaw nervously, but he said nothing. Noticing his discomfort, Casey reached for both of his hands and held them to her chest. “I just need an answer, Dennis, this is driving me insane.”

Dennis opened his eyes, the blue of his irises tinged dark with sadness. He knew what was coming and it killed him, how many times was she going to make him push her away? God, did Barry put her up to this? “Please don’t Casey, let’s just go to sleep.”

That reaction was not what Casey was expecting, and she frowned. “You don’t even know what I was going to ask.”

He groaned, grinding his palms into his eyes. “Yes I do. I know exactly what it is, and the answer is the same as it’s always been.”

Hurt rippled through Casey, but she persisted, the words that had been running through her head all night came tumbling out. “I am in love with Kevin Wendell Crumb and every single one of his personalities. Not all in the same way, but each one of you has changed my life for the better.”

Dennis turned away, unwilling to meet her eyes. She cupped his face and forced him to look at her. She wasn’t going to let him shut her out anymore.

“Hedwig, Jade, Heinrich, and Jalin, they’re all the siblings I never got to have! Norma and B.T. have taught me how to cook, and don’t even get me started on how I could probably write an entire thesis on the War of 1812 thanks to Orwell. Barry is my best friend in the whole world, and he makes me feel things I never thought I’d feel about a man.” At the thought of Barry, a small smile briefly graced her lips. “But you? You’re all I can think about anymore, and every night you make plans to go out and save the world while I sit and worry that you'll get yourself killed before I tell you how I really feel.”

_Please don’t. Please don’t. _

Dennis held his breath, waiting for the hammer to fall. She didn’t disappoint.

“I love you, Dennis. I have loved you for a while now.”

He thought he was prepared for the confession, but hearing her say it out loud made him feel like he had been punched. “Casey, please stop,” he begged. “I know how to withstand pain, not...this. You’re going to make me do something I regret.”

This same old song and dance. Casey was heartbroken and angry. “What would you do that you would regret? Would you hurt me? You could never hurt me.”

Grabbing her arm, Dennis pulled her close so that his mouth was next to her ear, so she couldn’t see the shine of his unshed tears. “If I loved you back, you would end up getting hurt. It’s inevitable.”

Casey yanked herself out of his grip, furious. “Enough with the dramatics, Dennis! If you don’t feel the same, just tell me. We’re not characters in a Young Adult novel, all this ‘I will hurt you’ mopey bullshit is getting old.”

Good God. How did she not understand? Dennis tried to calm his pounding heart with slow breaths, in and out. Losing his cool would not help the situation at all. “Casey, you are willfully choosing to ignore the fact that the only reason we know each other is because I kidnapped you for the sole purpose of letting another identity kill and cannibalize you. Are you listening to me? There’s no going back from that. I am a sick person.”

She didn’t know why he always told her this, like she hadn’t lived it for herself or like he wasn’t working every minute of the day to try and find redemption. “You’ve changed, I know you have! I see it every day. The majority of your life has been pain and abuse, you’re not some psycho that gets off on killing, you just lost your way for a while. You choose to be the kind of person you are, and you’ve chosen to be a hero.”

Dennis laughed but there was no joy in it. Him? A hero? “This isn’t a movie where I have a change of heart and save the day! We don’t get to pretend that actions don’t have consequences. People like me don’t get to have love, that’s for normal people. There’s just no getting around it, Casey.”

For a moment, all Dennis could hear was his ragged breathing and his heartbeat thrumming in his ears. And then Casey broke.

“I love you. That’s how we get around it.”

She pressed herself into his arms, and he couldn’t help but hold her. He hated himself for his weakness. He could feel the front of his shirt getting wet from tears he didn’t know she had been crying and his heart twinged. Some protector he was, making the person he loved most in the world cry.

Grabbing a tissue from the nightstand, he gently started to wipe her tears away, briefly wondering if he should get Barry or one of the others, but knew Casey would read that as further rejection. Maybe he was being over dramatic. Maybe he should believe her when she told him what she wanted, even if what she wanted was him. 

“Please don’t cry anymore,” his voice was huskier than normal, the pain of seeing her weep causing his throat to constrict. “You shouldn’t be hurting like this, not over me.”

Casey stared at him mournfully, fresh tears spilling out of her eyes. “How can I stop crying when the the man I love keeps rejecting me? If you turn me away, do it because you don’t love me, not because you’re afraid. At least give me closure, Dennis.”

For the barest moment, Dennis contemplated lying to her, telling her that he didn’t love her and never had. She was important to Kevin, important to them all, but it didn’t go beyond friendship. But despite being a good liar, he knew she would see right through it, and they would both despise him for it. Instead, he just told the truth. He owed her that much.

“But I am afraid Casey. I’m scared to death.”

Her brows furrowed, whether in confusion or empathy he couldn’t be sure, but when she opened her mouth, he just gently placed a finger over her lips, wordlessly asking her to remain silent.

For what seemed like forever, Dennis wrestled with his thoughts. Things inside were moving around, shifting like tectonic plates, and the whole of himself was about to cave in. If she truly did need him, he knew he would never find peace in running. He was made to give flesh and soul to those under his protection, and as long as he defied his purpose, he would chafe under the weight of it.

This was to be his death, he realized. It had to be, for the person he was now could not give her what she asked for. What would take his place, he couldn't begin to understand, but that hardly mattered now.

Decision made, he lay her back down on the mattress, which she allowed without protest, half wondering if she had somehow fallen asleep and was dreaming. But even in her dreams, Dennis did not look at her the way he was now-open, curious. As he hovered over her, every available inch of her bare skin was traced by his hands, as though committing her reactions to memory-how she bit her lip as he stroked her inner wrists, the way her eyes fluttered as he explored her back, the ticklish spot by her hip that would surely be taken advantage of again and again.

When he dipped down to kiss her, she knew she wasn't dreaming, there was no dream where she could feel so intensely, heart pumping so hard it made a new home in her fingertips. He smelled clean and crisp, the scent of a clear blue sky without a single cloud, detergent and soap teasing her nose as his tongue met hers. And when they separated, there was no shame in his eyes, but there was a hint of apprehension, and Casey swore to chase it all away. She pulled him back down and he didn't resist, instead blazing a trail of kisses along her jaw, her whimpers of contentment making him bold.

"I love you, Dennis," she repeated, arching her neck so he had easier access to the sensitive flesh there, replacing Barry's love bites with his own. Her exclamation made him sigh heavily, and part of him wanted to beg her to say it again and again, until those were the only words that existed inside of his head.

Instead, he got up and turned to their linen closet, rummaging through it before selecting a clean, downy blanket, and took Casey’s hand to lead her to their front door. Dawn would be breaking soon, and even in the early morning darkness, Mourning Doves were cooing gently to the rest of the neighborhood, their comforting song defying their somber name.

Dennis walked them both out onto the front porch and sat down on their swing, motioning for Casey to sit besides him. If this were Barry, Casey would have had words with him about avoiding painful conversation, but she knew that Dennis was speaking to her the best way he knew how: his actions.

She allowed him to pull her back into himself, throwing the blanket over them both and then relaxing into the soothing back and forth of the swing as Dennis used a foot to rock them.

Casey still didn’t have an answer, not exactly, but at least she had finally confessed her feelings. Hearing an “I love you” in return was what she wanted most in the world, but as she started drifting off to sleep, warm under the blanket, warm in his arms, she knew he was telling her in his own way. Between the doves and the rocking, sleep caught up with her quickly, and soon the outside world was no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Offically getting laid off next week because our company is bleeding $$$, so I'm feeling all those things you feel when you no longer have to go to a job you don't enjoy, but still need the health insurance and paycheck. 
> 
> Only mentioning it because if I happen to disappear for a little while, I'm just trying to figure things out. Hopefully I've left you with some warm fuzzies in the meantime. More will be coming ❤


	33. Transurfing Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis and Barry go hunting. Dennis gives in for a second time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while. This is the chapter I had to rewrite things for since I lost a bunch of stuff on my work PC, and that just kind of added some stress to the process. I'm not 100% pleased with it, but the story has to move on.
> 
> As a side note, I realized I wrote the first draft of this chapter nearly a YEAR ago, before I even started posting here. Dennis/Casey coming together has been a long, long time in the making.
> 
> And speaking of which, TW for consensual face fucking at the end; I know that's not everyone's cup of tea. What can I say but "Dennis"?

“Oh my god, Casey! Were you and Mr. Dennis camping? Why didn’t you come and get me?”

When Casey opened her eyes, she saw Hedwig peering down at her, excitement plastering a goofy grin on his face. “You built the fort all wrong! You have to turn the blanket into a roof, et cetera.” He draped the blanket over the top of the swing to demonstrate, blocking out the early morning light.

Casey just yawned, smiling gently. “Good morning Hedwig. You’re probably right about the fort, next time I’ll ask for you, ok?”

“You better. What would you have done if some bears had seen you, or a mountain lion? Et cetera? This way we’re safe,” he insisted, pulling the blanket down on top of them.

Laughing, Casey clawed her way out from underneath the fabric. “Well, that’s what you’re here for. You’ll scare them away for me.”

Hedwig made a face at her before jumping off of the swing. “No way! My super power is being nine, and Mr. Dennis won’t let me tag team with the Beast like he does. He says I’ll get hurt.” The thought made Hedwig pout. “Mr. Dennis would have to beat them up, not me.”

His mention of Dennis made Casey’s heart beat just a little bit faster. “Is Dennis nearby?” she asked tentatively, not wanting Hedwig to detect that anything was out of the ordinary.

Frowning, Hedwig cocked his head briefly to check, but ended up shaking it. “No, I think Mr. Dennis is resting, and Miss Bernice told me to let him be because he had a ‘trying night’, whatever that means. Hey, will you make me some breakfast?”

Ugh, Bernice was such a nosy old bat. _Trying night_ Casey’s sweet ass. Sighing, she got up off of the swing and collected the blanket, knowing Dennis would want it tossed into the washer. How they didn’t spend more money replacing things that wore out from endless washing was a mystery to her. “Yeah, let’s go get breakfast. What are we having today? Waffles or cereal?”

Hedwig’s eyes lit up with excitement, but then his face dropped just as suddenly. “Norma says that if I keep eating waffles, I’m gonna turn into a waffle! I don’t want to be a waffle Casey, waffles don’t get to listen to music or draw, et cetera.”

“Norma is just trying to scare you, like how Patricia did with the Beast.”

“But the Beast is real!”

“He is real, but…” she trailed off, not sure how to refute that fact. “Ok fine, how do pancakes sound?”

“Pancakes!” Hedwig yelled, startling some birds out of hiding in a nearby bush before running into the house.

Casey sighed. This was not the romantic morning she had been hoping for, but maybe some quiet time would do Dennis good, and he would come back with a clear answer for her. Or maybe he’d just avoid her all week, knowing him.

As she moved about the kitchen, her mind was a whirlwind of anxiety and happy jitters. Would he regret their newfound intimacy? Would he fear that he had somehow "pushed her" (and of course he would think that_ he_ was the initiator, surely pure, sweet Casey wouldn't want anything to do with him)?

She prepared and mixed the batter, trying to focus on counting the beats of the whisk instead of her insecurities. Why did she have to fall for the ornery one? God, Barry would be getting an earful, this was all his fault, him and his stupid pep talk. Or maybe this was a punishment for not being satisfied with already having two men to cherish. Kevin and Barry were her soulmates, maybe she didn’t need Dennis to be a part of that. Although wasn’t Dennis also her soulmate? Weren’t they all? It’s not like this was a normal situation by any means, she couldn’t just pick up her Kindle and find a book on loving someone with DID.

“Casey, I’m huuunnngggrrryyy!” Hedwig yelled from the living room, in case somehow she had forgotten he existed.

Yep, no books on how to navigate your multiple boyfriends sharing the same body with a needy little brother either; Casey just had to go and be a trailblazer. Today was already shaping up to be a headache.

* * *

Dennis was practically fused to his chair, mind at ease, quiet. The night before had taken much out of him-surrender was somehow more draining than fighting his feelings, and for the longest time, fighting seemed to be the safest option. But now, on the other side of it all, giving in felt so much better. Exhausting, but better.

Unfortunately, his rest was not meant to last. Yanked from unconsciousness, he found himself caught in a headlock, and the only reason he didn’t immediately put his attacker down was because he felt Barry’s laughter rumble through his body.

“Finally, ya big, dumb numpty!”

Dennis twisted in Barry’s arms, trying not to smile and encourage more shenanigans. “Barry. What are you doing?”

“We’re celebrating your return to sanity! Although now that you and Casey are a thing, I need something new to tease ya about.”

Rolling his eyes, Dennis tried to extricate himself from Barry’s arms but Barry wasn’t having it, and they ended up wrestling to the floor, drawing multiple pairs of eyes their way. Dennis really didn't want to have to explain Barry's actions to everyone else just yet, especially given that Bernice had come to the light that morning to find her arms wrapped around Casey. As Dennis was the one that went to bed with the light, it wasn't going to take the old woman much to put two and two together, and god help him, everyone would know what had gone on by the end of the day. The longer he held on to his remaining scraps of privacy, the better.

Reaching over Barry's shoulder, he grabbed the other man by the back of his shirt and casually tossed him down to the ground, following him down so he could press a knee to his chest, a gentle "encouragement" to stay quiet. "You're making the Others look."

Barry shrugged casually. "So let 'em look."

Dennis exerted a slight bit of pressure, willing him to shut up. "You know, when they all find out about it, there's going to be questions...maybe accusations. Even now some of the Others don't accept, or can't accept, that I'm only acting with the best intentions for all of us, and will question my motives. I have a hard enough time with my own thoughts, I can't deal with all of that right now, not with the night we have ahead of us."

Understanding dawned in Barry's eyes and the energy left his body as he relaxed against the floor, pressure from Dennis's knee letting up. "Aight, I get it, odds are SOMEONE is gonna be odee about it." He moved to sit up and Dennis released him. "Just tell me this...I'm dying to know what it was Casey said to ya that got your head on straight."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Dennis shook his head. "Do you want to hear about the plans for tonight or not?"

"You're deflecting," Barry grinned, showing teeth, oddly predatory. "But you're deflecting beautifully. Tell me."

* * *

Despite her mind lacking the ability to ever shut up, Casey finally allowed herself to feel optimistic as she began washing the batter from the stove top, humming an upbeat song. Even as a child she had a tendency to expect the worst, and she could hear the warm voice of her father, telling her that being wise for her age didn't mean she had to be cynical too. Of course, he had never used those exact words, but the fact of the matter was that age didn't just bring cynicism, but forgetfulness as well. She dreaded the day when it would take a photograph to remind her what he had looked like.

Before she could grow too morose over the thought, an arm hooked around her waist and pulled her backwards; she was only startled for a second. “Want some pancakes, Bear?"

Warm breath tickled her neck as Barry wrapped his other arm around her, hugging tightly. “I'll take care of my breakfast, you just get that pretty mouth of yours to talking. How’d ya get Dennis to finally give in?”

“I didn’t _get_ him to do anything I just-” Casey shrugged, blushing a little as she thought over the previous night. "I was just honest with him."

Releasing her, Barry sauntered over to the fridge, pulling out some orange juice. “Well, if you’re not gonna take the credit, I sure as hell will.”

“And what does that mean?”

“Oh, ya know, called in some favors, pulled some strings.”

“You what?”

“Kidding." His smile was as easy as ever, and if Casey didn't know any better, he was as happy about this as she was. "Just told him to get his head out of his ass. I am the great persuader, after all. You’re welcome.” He bowed low, spilling some juice on the floor. “Oops.”

First Bernice, now Barry. Did everyone know what had gone on between she and Dennis? Before she could ask, he read the confusion on her face.

"Eh, I may have woken up in the light to see you were cuddled up with someone on the swing. I _know_ it wasn't me or Kevin, and I'm guessing it wasn't Patricia, either." 

"Ok, but does cuddling mean anything?"

"Huh?"

"I told him I loved him, and I didn't really get an answer. I mean, I guess I did, just not the way I was hoping..."

Barry pulled a chair out from under the table and flopped down, frowning. "Baby doll, didn't we just talk about this yesterday? What happened last night was _huge_, I wouldn't lie to ya about something like this."

"I know. I know you wouldn't. And don't get me wrong, it was nice. And of course he doesn't have to love me in return, I-"

"God, the both of ya are gonna be the death of me. Now I want you to look at me." Barry pulled her into his lap, nearly spilling his OJ for a second time. "I was just with Dennis, and he's as twitterpated as I've ever seen him. I love ya sweetheart, but if I have to listen to much more of this angsting, I'm gonna have some sort of breakdown."

Casey pouted. "I guess you're right."

"Damn straight I'm right. Now, if you're so eager to be mackin' on someone right now, I might know a guy..."

He moved to kiss her, but she playfully held out a hand, pushing his face away. "I'm kind of tired of chasing after men." She hopped off his lap, winking before strolling to the edge of the hallway. "Maybe I just want to be the one pursued right now."

An old, familiar gleam shone in Barry's eyes, and he grinned wickedly. "I'll give ya a chase," he growled, downing the last of his drink before setting the glass in the sink. "Hell, I'll give you to the count of ten, too."

Casey balked. "Wait." (God, did Barry love his games. Maybe Dennis felt like he and Casey were engaged in a type of game too, one he didn't quite understand the rules of).

"Ten." 

"What are you going to do?"

Barry shrugged. "Nine."

"Bear..." (Maybe Dennis didn't say anything because he didn't think anything needed to be said).

"Eight."

(Maybe he was having the same sort of internal debates she was having, torn, wondering if he was worrying over nothing).

"Seven."

(Maybe she should start running before she found out what that mischievous smirk on Barry's face was all about).

Before he hit five, she was out the front door and running.

* * *

Evening had approached quicker than Dennis would have liked, unwilling to admit to himself that he was nervous about their first foray into the city proper. He had never been to Portland, and all the directions he had to go off of was a potentially outdated address and mug shot of his mark. It was all Orwell had been able to obtain for them, so regardless it had to be enough.

Then there was the matter of the Beast. There was no reason Dennis should have to utilize the dangerous alter, but if he did, he was afraid of what he might discover. There was little doubt that Orwell and Casey's private excursions involved the Beast somehow, and Dennis wasn't sure what would be worse: a Beast still dying, or a Beast miraculously recovered. The last time such a thing had happened, it cost a pound of flesh from Casey's own body. What sort of price would the monster encourage her to pay away from the watchful eyes of Dennis?

His reverie was interrupted with a little shove as Barry wormed into the light, huffing indignantly at what he saw. “We are not going out like this,” he scowled, somehow managing to look irritated even as he preened at their hair.

“Excuse me?”

“Our face is totally exposed! What was the plan, hitting people repeatedly until they forget what we look like?”

Already, letting Barry tag along was proving to be a headache. Besides...“Wasn’t that your job?”

“Look, I have standards, ok? If I’m going to go with just any old costume design, we might as well throw on one of Hedwig’s tracksuits and wrap a towel around our neck!”

_That wasn’t nice, Mr. Barry! The ladies loooooove my tracksuits._

“Oh god.” This was getting away from Dennis, fast. How did his crusade suddenly turn into a circus? “Hedwig. Back to your chair, now. And Barry,” He glowered, trying to drum up the will to even have this conversation. "I obviously have a mask. Nothing fancy, but it has a respirator and will serve its purpose. If things go as planned, we shouldn't even need it."

"And if things don't go as planned?"

"We improvise. You're good at that, right?"

"Yeah, yeah."

Barry waved the compliment away but stopped short of arguing further as he heard the television turn on in the other room. When he had told Casey of Dennis's plans that afternoon, she acted proud and excited, but her eyes told another story: she was worried, and not for nothing. Barry had little doubt that television would remain on, with increasing volume to drown out her fears, until they came back home safely. "Are we gonna say something to Casey before we go?"

Before Dennis could answer, Barry had already made up his mind. "Babygirl," he called out over the din of the Travel Channel. "We're heading out now."

The tv was muted and Casey was at their side in an instant, throwing her arms around their neck before her hands trailed down to play with the buttons of the dark green shirt they were wearing, seemingly unsure of what to do with the nervous energy escaping through her fingertips. "I know this is important, but please don't be away for hours, I don't think my heart can take it."

Barry brushed her cheek affectionately, trying to soothe through touch. "I think you're good, twenty year olds aren't known for having bad hearts."

"Come on Barry, you know what I mean."

The fact she used his full name told him all he needed to know, and he tilted his head down in deference. "Sorry babe, ya know how I feel about levity. We'll be back home and in bed before you know it."

"I know. Can I say goodbye to Dennis?"

"I'm here." Dennis stepped closer into the light, hoping her fears wouldn't tempt him away from the mission. It was obvious she was more concerned than she was letting on, and Dennis couldn't blame her; she had needed to nurse his wounds more than once in the past. But this was different, a simple intelligence gathering mission, something that could be accomplished through his own set of skills, no theatrics needed. It would be more than fine, he would make sure of it. "We're gonna come home in one piece, don't worry, Casey."

She nodded in agreement, although didn't seem terribly convinced. The tension only left her face when she leaned up to kiss him and he didn't pull away, instead cupping her head to draw her in closer. It left him slightly delirious, and he had to take a second to reorient himself to this new, warm reality before trusting himself to speak again. "You don't have to wait up."

"Hah, that's funny."

Yeah, he figured as much. "I'll try and keep this as brief as possible. Believe me, nothing could keep us-" his voice cracked briefly, and he tried again. "Nothing could keep _me_ away from you."

"I'm going to hold you to that, Mr. Crumb."

* * *

Tonight's goal was information, and the man they were after was hand picked by Orwell some time ago due to his ties with previous sex trafficking activity. Dennis went over the sparse information Orwell had provided: Michael Jacksheimer, age thirty-eight, and was once a wanted man for being a grimy cog in the sex trafficking machine back in New York City. He was given a reduced sentence in exchange for naming some names to the police. After his early release, he too crossed the country in the hopes of starting over. Of course, "starting over" for Michael involved less of turning over a new leaf, and more finding another gang to fall in with.

They found the house they were looking for easily enough, in a long neglected part of town. There was a car parked in front of the house so presumably someone was home, and they made themselves comfortable in a large maple as they waited for any signs of life.

The minutes ticked by slowly, and half of the time was spent chasing a curious Hedwig back to his chair before Jade agreed to keep an eye on him. More time passed, and Dennis was at the point of debating whether or not to call it a night when the front door swung open and a man stepped out of the house. He was nothing special, an average man with an average haircut and average clothing, the preferred costume of a large scale criminal. Dennis checked his appearance against the mug shot, and aside from seemingly having lost some weight since the arrest, it looked to be the same person.

He waited as Michael stepped down to the sidewalk and headed south, only beginning to trail him when positive it wouldn't look conspicuous. The trek was short and after three minutes of following, Dennis watched as he stepped inside of a Chinese restaurant and did his best to blend in with the sparse crowd as he hung back.

This part. This part Dennis was good at-stalking. And he hated it. Stalking was the domain of perverts and criminals, what did it say about him that it came so easily? Why was he so talented at the things that hurt? Was there nothing innately good about him? His thoughts began to run away from him, disgust and shame worming its way down his spine, but Barry's hissing warning brought him back to the present.

"He's leaving."

Dennis looked up to see Michael step back outside with food in hand, messing with his phone, giving Dennis a moment to reevaluate their surroundings.

For a moment, time stood still.

There was no plan to make the abduction that night, Dennis thought it best to just follow and get a feel for any potential pitfalls or threats. But whether it was his own instincts or perhaps the Beast's, he had a hunch that now was as good as ever. There was a lull in crowd activity, and a high tower under construction only a block away. It would be ease itself to knock the man out as he passed by and drag him to that secluded site. His fingers curled around the can of Nitrous oxide in his pocket, an innocent canister only meant for whipping cream, certainly not a kidnapping. Try as he might, it seemed Dennis was destined to always turn the innocuous into something profane.

So be it. This was atonement, after all. And that's what he kept telling himself as he pulled the mask on and waited for his prey to step just a little bit closer...

* * *

Michael's hearing returned faster than any of his other senses, initially just a loud ringing that was the entirety of his reality. As he groggily tried to pull himself together, he could hear two men arguing with each other over the sound of his tinnitus, their words echoing across the room. One sounded as though he were from Philadelphia, or northern Jersey perhaps, the other clearly a born and raised New Yorker. It occurred to the gradually panicking Michael that they might just be in the employ of some loan shark meaning to send a message, but if that were the case, why the kidnapping? Without thinking he tongued at the piece of cloth shoved into his mouth hoping it would give, but of course, no luck. The noises of the city were a muffled din below him and the smell of sawdust wafted through the air every time he shifted slightly. This led him to conclude they were still somewhere in the city, and felt oddly comforted by the fact. He tried to take in a big drag of air, but the sawdust combined with the gag made him retch and begin coughing, drawing the attention of his captors.

"Huh, maybe ya didn't overdo it on the noz," the one with the Philly accent said.

"I told you I know what I'm doing."

"Yeah, yeah, nice job, Walter White. Shall we get this show on the road?"

"He's all yours."

This sounded like it was about to get painful, fast. Of course, Michael was completely unaware as to the nature of his abductors, or the fact that Dennis and Barry had decided ahead of time that Barry might try and get the information needed peacefully before Dennis started to get...creative. Orwell had waxed on more than once about the benefits of getting a prisoner to feel comfortable during an interrogation, citing multiple FBI and CIA studies ad nauseam until Dennis wanted to puncture his eardrums so he didn't have to listen anymore. He assumed this was Orwell's way of trying to keep a leash on him and what was surely imagined to be his violent tendencies, but Orwell's fear was misplaced. Dennis never had the inclination to torture, for very obvious reasons.

Michael curled in on himself, pulling at the ropes that bound him and futilely trying to spit out the gag so he could plead for his life. As Barry's footsteps drew nearer, he finally regained enough of his strength to open his eyes. His vision was swimming, the picture all color and fractals, but he could make out Barry drawing closer, and he wondered in a panic where the second man he heard had gone, mind dreaming up all sorts of horror movie scenarios. 

Suddenly there were fingers snapping in his face, and he looked up at his captor, on his haunches in front of him. He wasn't very tall, but looked to be made of pure muscle, and in the future when Michael would recall this moment, the only thing he would remember was how damn blue the man's eyes were.

Barry reached for him and Michael let out a muffled scream, trying desperately to scoot away. Barry laughed, almost feeling sorry for the guy. “Hey, where do ya think you’re going?”

The only response he got was for Michael to roll another half inch back, and Barry shook his head, amused. “Now, I’m gonna take that gag out of your mouth, and we’re gonna have a conversation, nice and polite. You scream and it’s going right back in, aight?”

Michael nodded frantically.

“Don’t be getting all bitey on me, now.” He removed the cloth and both men remained silent for a moment, looking each other over warily until Barry broke out into what he hoped was a convincing smile. “Ok, good. Now my name is Ba-”

The internal kick he got from Dennis was nearly enough to knock him from the light._ Don’t tell him your name, what the hell is wrong with you?_

Oh. Right. “My name, is, uh…Beast-man.”

_Fucks sake, Barry, are you serious?_

_Hey, I’m the artist in this relationship, not the idea guy_, Barry hissed back. Their captive didn't seem to register the ridiculous name, or if he did, he clearly thought that Beast-man was about to eat the tongue out of his mouth and wisely chose to remain silent. He continued to stare in horror, wide eyed and slack jawed.

"Good, you're listening. That's good." Barry soothed. "Your name is Michael Jacksheimer, right?"

A desperate nod, and Michael seemed to attempt to melt through the floor, squirming relentlessly against the concrete. "What do you want with me?"

Barry bent down again, trying to appear less intimidating; no reason to scare the man catatonic if he was cooperating. "You were recently released from a New York prison on charges of Labor Trafficking and Forced Trafficking of Minors."

Michael's eyes widened, he knew what tended to happen to those that hurt children-in prison or out. "Please, I-I never touched the kids myself, and-"

"Hush."

He shut up immediately and Barry felt a trill of excitement, unused to people finding him intimidating. "That sort of sentence comes with pretty hefty jail time. I hear ya made nice with the D.A. and got yourself a pretty sweet deal. So you should know how this goes."

"Wh-what?"

"Word is ya haven't been keeping your nose clean, and you're fucking around with some pretty nasty people again. I want names."

Michael blanched. "Are...are you kidding me? They're going to kill me if they find out I told you, and they'll kill me if they find out what happened in New York! I'm already in a tight spot, they can't know I already turned once. I-I'm no-not a snitch!"

"Aren't you?" Barry advanced on him, his forced cheer swiftly dissipating. "And you turned snitch because it benefited you. Well here's another deal for ya: you tell me what I need to know, and I won't rip your spine out through your nose."

For a moment, Michael looked like he wanted to take a swing at Barry, butt heads, put up some kind of fight despite his restraints. His eyes darted to and from his captor to the stairway, obviously trying to calculate if he could make an escape. Finally, he groaned, abject helplessness replacing the wild rage in his eyes. He was trapped and he knew it. "Why are you doing this?" 

It took everything in Barry not to strike the man, the self pity was nauseating. "I bet those little kids you were hurting used to ask ya the same thing. One more time. Tell me who your boss is and you get to leave." 

"I don't believe you! I don't know who the fuck YOU are, but I know for a fact the people you're looking for will kill me if I tell you anything. Slowly. No, I'll take my chances with you."

Barry balked, his bluff having been called, but Dennis...Dennis did not. "I'm sick of listening to your simpering," he growled, stepping directly into the light, feeling the Beast rise up alongside him. "Tell me what I need to know or I'll find someone who will, and then I won't need you anymore." With one hand he jerked Michael up and slammed him against a window, the brand new glass cracking and spidering across the length of the pane. 

For a moment they remained locked in a stare down, Dennis inhaling the stale air greedily through his nose, nostrils flaring. Without warning, he dropped Michael to the ground, and for a moment the man thought he was safe. Then the sound of thunder rained down over him as glass exploded everywhere, and Dennis pulled his arm back from the window, the jagged shards that remained behind barely scraping his skin. As casually as if he were walking outside to check for mail, Dennis crawled through the opening and found purchase on the steel exterior before reaching back inside to wrap his right hand around Michael's throat. As easily as if he were a doll, he dragged Michael up and through the window.

"Please," Michael managed to choke out, eyes bugging in terror. Before he could plead some more, Dennis tightened his grip and casually lifted him up and away from the building, dangling him over the busy Portland street like a person might tease a dog with a treat. The promise was clear: Michael was the treat, and if he didn't start talking, the hungry maw of the city was ready to open up and devour him whole.

His fingers moved furiously, clawing at Dennis, desperately trying to get him to loosen his suffocating grip while also knowing that it was the only thing keeping him from exploding into a shower of blood and meat below. Despite the violence of his attempts, his clawing left no scratches on Dennis's skin, not even the barest red mark, and his brain began working itself into a frenzy as it tried to understand the nature of creature that was holding him. A monster was the only thing keeping him from life and an unenviable death.

Finally, on the verge of passing out, his mouth opened and closed wordlessly, unable to get the air necessary to speak, but Dennis understood him all the same: _You win, I'll talk._

Slowly, Dennis eased the both of them back inside and deposited Michael on the ground as carefully as he would a bag of trash. Pulling out a piece of scrap paper, Barry began writing notes furiously as Michael coughed up every last bit of information he could think of. Occasionally, Barry would interject with a question or ask for clarification, and soon one piece of paper turned into two, then three.

By the time he was done, Michael was near tears, realizing that he had most likely just signed his own death warrant. "They're going to kill me..." he sobbed to no one in particular, sill shaking from fear and adrenaline. 

"Leave. Please." 

Dennis's voice reverberated against the skeletal walls that surrounded them, but Michael refused to get up from his spot, as if at any moment a fellow trafficker was going to appear and gun him down.

"Hey, come on," Barry tried to encourage, working the knots in his restraints loose. "We said we'd let ya go and we are. Now get."

The word "we" stood out like an alarm, and Michael realized that explained the schizophrenic nature of his captor, but remained wordlessly glued to the floor. Terror had taken everything out of him, and all he wanted to do was sleep and wake up only to discover it was all a nightmare. 

There was little sympathy to be given and Dennis was tired and out of patience. “OUT!” he roared, picking Michael up by the collar and shoving him to his feet. The man didn’t need to be told twice, now certain his life was once again in danger. Within seconds he freed himself from his bondage and ran out of the room, the fading sounds of his sneakers trailing behind him.

Soon even that died off, and the only sounds in the room were Dennis’s ragged breathing and the noise of the city below them. “Barry, if you’re going to insist on coming along, I’m going to _insist_ on you being a little less like yourself.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? I thought that went well, we got what ya wanted.”

Dennis grunted, cracking his neck; he had jerked Michael up a little too fast and now had a crick that was slowly building into a tension headache. “Only because I offered to give him the express exit to the first floor.”

“Damn that’s good. Next time, put a little growl in it and say that to the next bad guy.”

“You know, when the hero has comic relief tag along, they’re actually supposed to be funny.”

“You’re just mad that I can make Casey laugh.”

“Casey,” Dennis exhaled, removing the mask and shoving himself partway out the broken window again. The gentle night wind felt deliciously cool on his sweat drenched skin, and he could feel the Beast still at his side, singing a song in his inhuman tongue.

Dennis answered the call, crawling up a few stories until the they reached the roof. From that vantage point, it felt like they could see for miles around, even the little rental where the love of their lives was waiting for them. What was she doing now? Whatever it was, they best not remain away much longer, or they’d all get an earful.

The Beast hunkered down, closer to the edge of the light. “My people are out there,” he rumbled, a swell of pride in his voice.

Dennis was in no mood. “Yes, and I’m going to stop them too.”

“No. Not the Horde. The Broken, my children. My people. They used to be yours, once.”

“They still are. That's why we're here.”

"Your focus is too small. You are being led by your misplaced desire for forgiveness and not by destiny."

"Looking a little peppier these days," Barry interrupted, on edge over having the Beast so close to the innocents down below. He prayed that Dennis still had control. “What’s gotten in to ya? Inquiring minds want to know.”

The Beast chuckled, his voice an act of violence against the calm night air.

“Just tell us it's got nothing to do with Casey. Please.” It sounded more like pleading than Barry would have liked, and he silently cursed himself.

The request gave the Beast pause, if only because this might have marked the first time Barry had asked something from him. Still, the answer remained the same. “No, I don't think I will. I enjoy watching you both flail about in utter incompetence. It hurts being trapped, alone in the dark, doesn’t it? Knowing that Casey has-”

“You don't get to lecture anyone on being stuck in the dark,” Dennis growled dangerously. "The dark was my home long before you even existed."

“I’m ok, if anyone is wondering,” Barry offered. God, these two were overdramatic.

“You laugh now, Heretic, but the day is coming when I will take my throne again and judge the impure. You will be first on that list.”

"Hey, where do ya get off telling me I haven't suffered enough-"

"He's just baiting you." The sound of a happy couple giggling down below drew Dennis's attention away and he stretched his back out, preparing for the journey home. "It doesn't matter what he does and doesn't tell us, the truth will come out either way. Let's go. We made a promise."

Somehow, after all these months of fear and grief, of blood and revolution, that was the one thing they all agreed on: Casey was their lighthouse through it all.

* * *

Walking through the front door became a memory that Dennis would hold and cherish until the day he died. It wasn't just the fact that Casey had been waiting up for them, and it wasn't the fact she came rushing into his arms. Neither was unexpected. Really, nothing was unexpected about the moment aside from the fact that putting it all together made it so very unreal, like a dream. _Dennis_ wasn't supposed to have anyone to come home to, and that someone certainly wasn't supposed to be a significant other that now clung to his shirt, pulling at his collar to bring him down for a kiss.

Without thinking, one of his hands wrapped itself up in her hair, the other on her waist, imagining that there was no Beast, no System, no blood on his hands. Just him and his lady and their simple life together; that's all it was and all it had ever been, the intense desire he felt causing his eyes to water.

The unbidden daydream was abruptly shattered when Casey pulled a little too hard on the side of his neck that had been tweaked and he hissed in pain.

“Oh my god, I'm sorry! Are you hurt?"

He couldn't help but smile at the genuine concern he found in her eyes despite his consternation over worrying her. “I’m fine, just pulled a muscle in my neck. You know us, we'll be back to normal by tomorrow."

His confidence in the Beast's healing abilities gave her pause. "You..you will? So the Beast is doing alright?" She tried to play dumb although she wasn't sure why, it was obvious they would be having this conversation sooner or later. 

"It’s the strangest thing, the Beast seems to be doing much better.” There was no accusation to his words, not exactly, but with the way his eyes bore into hers, unblinking, it was obvious he was gauging her reaction.

Uncle John had taught her to be evasive long, long ago. “Why did you need him tonight?”

Dennis grimaced and slid past her on his way to the kitchen, parched. “I wasn’t planning on it. My…informant was being ridiculously tight lipped. I thought he might need the encouragement to start talking.”

“I didn’t know you had any informants.”

“Well, he didn't really volunteer." Dennis offered nothing else, just grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and downed it in a few swallows before turning to Casey again. "So about the Beast-”

"Why did you leave the light this morning?"

The question came like a smack in the face and Dennis blinked, thrown off guard. The redirect wasn't a surprise, but he still found himself wordless against what sounded like...an accusation? There were a few dishes in the sink that called to him and he silently began washing, mind racing. He hadn't _thought_ there was anything wrong with going back to his chair while Kevin's body was getting some rest, but the tone of Casey's voice seemed to be telling him otherwise. Behind him, he could sense she was moving closer, and he cleared his throat so she knew he wasn't ignoring the question.

"That...upset you?" He finally asked, still at a loss. Casey's hand came to rest on his lower back and he turned around to look at her, rubbing his scalp awkwardly. "I didn't mean anything by it."

She only shrugged. "I guess I just assumed you would stay. Barry and Kevin almost always hold the light when we go to bed together."

"Oh. I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that was something I was supposed to do." Out of anything, Dennis despised not attending to his responsibilities, but none of this was coming naturally to him.

"No, it's fine, I want you to do what makes you comfortable. I just thought that maybe you were having doubts again. About us."

Gently, he put his hands on her waist and pulled her close as she wrapped her arms around his neck, enjoying the embrace. "Aside from Kevin, there's only one other person I've ever loved in my life, and it didn't end well for her. I'm always going to be afraid that my love isn't something you should want, no matter how badly I want to give it to you."

Casey pulled away from him slightly so she could look into his eyes "What happened to her?"

He quickly averted his gaze, breath picking up as though even thinking about it was painful in and of itself, but Casey knew that if she pressed only a little bit harder, the dam would break. The idea of hurting him was antithetical to her very core, so she just cuddled back into his arms. "Never mind, we don't have to talk about it. I just wish you didn't think so little of yourself."

"I'm starting to believe that what I think doesn't matter; my thoughts have not served me well these past few years."

"They really haven't, have they? Here." Despite his protests, she forced him to sit down so she could rub his neck. "Am I hurting you?"

"No. Feels good." 

Eventually his breathing evened out and she thought that maybe he had fallen asleep. However, when she walked around to the other side of the chair his eyes fluttered open and he stared at her quietly. Without a word, he took her into his arms and stood up as though she weighed nothing more than a house cat. As he reached to turn off the kitchen light, she lay her head against his shoulder. "Where are we going?"

"To bed," he replied, climbing up the stairs with ease. "And when you wake up tomorrow, I'll be there too."

“Bed? You just got home.”

“And I’m fucking beat.” Casey frowned her disappointment, and mischievously Dennis opened up the door to their shared bedroom and tossed her onto the bed, laughing at her sputtered indignation. "I'm going to shower."

Tempted to follow him in, Casey thought better of it and occupied herself with a Dan Tremblay novel lying on her bedstand, nervously tapping a foot against the comforter. This wouldn't be the first time Dennis and she would lie down for bed together, but she was hoping for so much more tonight. 

Half an hour later, the water finally turned off and Dennis emerged from the bathroom, steam following him out the door. A towel was wrapped around his waist, and Casey wondered if he actually planned on getting changed in front of her. It's not like it was anything she hadn't seen before, but of course Dennis was an oddly private man. 

Much to her surprise, he did drop the towel as he moved to step into some clean boxer briefs, but Casey stopped him. "Wait."

The look he gave her as he glanced over his shoulder was guarded, to say the least. "What's wrong?"

"Now that we're...together, I was hoping we could, you know..."

Dennis just frowned.

"I want to fuck you. I know you have a hard time believing it, but I find you stupid attractive, and I've been waiting for months!"

"Casey."

"Please. Come over here."

Without really meaning to, Dennis obeyed, quietly folding up his bed clothing and placing it on the dresser before walking over to where Casey lay. She drank the picture in, no matter how many times she had enjoyed Kevin's body, she had never gotten used to how gorgeous they were, scars and all. She made a show of enjoying him, eyes taking in his broad shoulders, abs, and obliques cutting an impressive figure down to his waist. Barry often made a point to show off, knowing Casey enjoyed the view, and Kevin was shy, just eager for physical affection. Unfortunately, poor Dennis was tensed up like he was ready to bolt at any second. His cock hung there, still damp from the shower, and Casey nearly salivated at the thought of finally having him for herself. She reached out to touch him, but he quickly backed away, surprise causing her to flinch.

Internally he cringed, he had to be the least sexy person alive. He slid around to the other side of the bed, forcing himself to try and behave like a normal boyfriend. "Casey. This is...complicated."

"Would it help if I got undressed to?" she asked, trying to be helpful, but her words just made his cock twitch and he covered up, ashamed. She reached out to gently move his hands, and he growled.

“Don’t.”

His inflection made it sound like a warning and she wanted to laugh, like she was about to handle a venomous creature. “Why not?”

Shifting himself prone to hide his growing erection, Dennis jammed his face into a pillow, gritting his teeth, tamping down on his rapidly growing arousal. “It’s filthy. Dirty.”

“Now that is objectively untrue, you just got out of the shower.” Thoughtfully, she paused for a moment, no longer teasing. “I’m not going to touch you if I don't have permission, but I want you to know that I’d really, really like to.”

Her words made Dennis’s hips involuntarily grind into the bed. Suddenly everything sounded so much louder, the insects humming outside to the AC kicking on, to say nothing of the pounding in his ears; all signs he was losing control. “I’m afraid if you start, I won’t be able to help myself.” He was rock hard now, the idea of coupling with this beautiful, wonderful woman driving him mad.

“You’re the most disciplined person I know. I’m not afraid of you. You shouldn’t be either.”

Dennis understood before they even began the conversation that it was a lost cause. Anything Casey wanted, Casey got, especially when it was something HE wanted as well. Desperately.

Rolling over reluctantly, he allowed Casey to reach out and hold him. Pre-cum was already glistening in the low bedroom light, and Casey began stroking him slowly, so as not to overstimulate too fast. “It’s so odd. I should be used to your body by now, but every time I have sex with one of you for the first time, it’s like touching someone else entirely."

There was no response, and she looked up to see Dennis with his head thrown back against his pillow, panting heavily. While normally her words confirming their individuality would bring joy to his heart, at the moment he could barely think beyond the mantra that kept running through his head: he was being touched, and it didn’t hurt. He was being touched, and he fucking loved it.

The bliss ramped up to unbearable levels when he felt her mouth close in around him, his thoughts turning to white hot bliss and strings of profanity. In all his months of dreaming, hoping, masturbating to this moment, nothing he could have imagined felt as amazing as the reality of her actually sucking him off on her own volition.

When she stopped suddenly, he was ready to offer her anything and everything to just…keep…going, but much to his shock, she lay down on the bed besides him, bidding him to straddle her. He knew instantly what she was asking him to do, and the offer was so erotic and so terrifying that he nearly climaxed right there.

The silent conversation that took place between them was primal and frantic, apprehension on his face and pure, beautiful trust on her own, but just as before, Dennis knew there was no chance he would really be able to resist.

When he settled over her, she guided his cock into her mouth again, showing him how far and deep she was willing to be taken. After nodding her consent, Dennis felt like he was falling through the floor as he began fucking her mouth hard and fast, rutting into her like it was the last bit of pleasure he would ever experience. His hands wrapped around the back of her head and watched as she took him in stride, eyes watering with the effort. In and out, he pushed himself increasingly further inside, eventually hitting the back of her throat. Before he could worry about hurting her, she began working her tongue against him, and Dennis was reduced to pure, animalistic frenzy.

At the last minute, he was able to angle away from the back of her throat and towards the roof of her mouth, knowing a bout of vomiting would be upsetting to them both, and his hips pumped steadily as his balls fully emptied themselves. The sight of her swallowing his cum with relish was seared into his brain, and he finished climaxing so intensely that he collapsed on top of her, completely drained.

Slowly, a fog of endorphines washed over him like a warm blanket, but he could feel Casey squirm underneath him, and making sure she was alright was suddenly the only thing on his mind. With great effort, he reached over for a tissue from the bedstand and helped her sit up, checking for any sign of distress. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

A show was made of licking her lips, and she smiled softly. “No. You are absolutely delicious, you know that, right?”

There were no words as he wiped the spit and cum from her mouth, staring in awe. He obviously couldn't believe what he was hearing, and Casey smiled wider as she watched the stories he told himself ABOUT himself slowly be rewritten in his mind. Just like that night the Beast had come to her and changed her entire frame of reference for reality. Maybe, in the end, she really could help him like the Beast had helped her. “I’m glad you're happy. I just wanted to make you feel good.”

For the briefest moment, Dennis's eyes burned with tears. No one had ever said any variation of those words to him in his entire life. Ever. Just as quickly, he blinked them back and collected himself, excited at the task that lay before him. “I see.”

Grabbing her wrists, he pinned them above her head, no slack given, watching her flush beneath him. “Now it’s my turn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, terrible spot to end, but I didn't want it to get too long. No worries though, Dennis will _very_ much be making good on his word.


	34. I'm Still Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis and Casey talk and fuck and talk.

_Your beauty burns into this brain_   
_The loan is paid by hurt and pain_   
_Faith is feeling, fear-stealing_   
_Love is fire, seduce this liar_   
_Rejections lost, retaliation_   
_Fear is rehabilitation_

Pig-"Junky"

Casey stared up at Dennis, watching his chest heave with expectation that had been carried for so long. Time and time again she had witnessed him wrestle desire into submission, but tonight he was finally letting go.

“Your turn for what?” She repeated his words back to him, knowing exactly what he was getting at but still needing to hear it from his lips. The very thought of his tongue between her legs sent powerful shivers up and down her spine.

Dennis exhaled a breathy laugh. "You want me to describe, in detail, what I'm going to do to you?' His right eyebrow cocked in a way that made her unsure if it was a rhetorical question. "How I'm gonna make you scream? Isn't anticipation half the fun?"

Instead of indulging her, he leaned back on his haunches, thighs flexing in the dim bedroom light as the humor left his voice. “Take off your clothes. Please.” It was clear he was trying to remain in control, voice trembling at the end of his request, sounding nothing like the man who had demanded the very same thing two years ago.

Momentarily Casey was taken aback and eyed him suspiciously, wondering if this was some sort of undisclosed kink. "And...dance?" 

"No, I..." Clearing his throat, Dennis closed his eyes and took in a steadying breath. “They need to be folded before I get...too distracted.” He reached out for her clothes, eyes remaining tightly shut as she shrugged out of her shirt and jeans. "Thank you," he whispered when she placed them in his hands, ultimately choosing not to comment further.

"Of course."

Standing up to set her clothing next to his on the dresser, Dennis almost didn't turn around, afraid he was dreaming it all. Was Casey seriously half-naked, with him, in their bed? A guarded glance over his shoulder revealed that she was, still clad in simple black underwear and bra, although yellow Batman insignias dotted her boyshorts. He huffed, the sight relaxing him slightly; it was almost silly, utterly adorable, and completely Casey.

Casey shrugged in response, a wry smile breaking out. "Sorry, no Tiger-Man themed lingerie just yet."

"Call me that again, smart-ass." Sliding back onto the bed, he reached over to squeeze a knee in retaliation, but his hand froze mid-air. She was staring him down, eyes warm and large as she reached around to unhook her bra and toss it to the side, daring him to go after it and ignore her further.

Despite the very real temptation, Dennis had never been present in the light during the intimate moments Barry and Kevin had shared with Casey. A few times he had tried to justify it to himself, knowing the Others would most likely not notice in the heat of the moment, but that was all it was, a temptation. Despite all of his fuck-ups, Dennis took small comfort in the tiny amount of pride he still retained, that he had never faltered in his ability to walk away.

So as Casey stripped fully, the sight that greeted him did more than make his mouth run dry. Every part of his body felt hot, and as he moved to recline further back for a better look, his hand went right over the bed's edge and he nearly tumbled off, the only thing saving him the Beast’s quick reflexes.

Casey’s mouth was a straight line of earnestness, face screwed up in an effort not to laugh, but her eyes gave her away. It was only when Dennis chuckled himself that she finally broke, and reached out for his hand. “I’ll take that as compliment.”

“Do you think I've ever felt any differently?" He leaned in close, breath warm on her neck. "Never doubt how beautiful you are,” he murmured, tracing her scars with all the reverence he had never felt for the Beast. _Here_ was a life worth fighting for.

“Will you feel that way even when I’m older?” Internally Casey cringed, hoping he didn't think she was picking on him, but in truth the question had weighed heavily on her mind.

The question never even fazed him. “So long as you grow old with us.” Dennis continued to trace her skin, and Casey couldn't tell if the thrumming she heard was the grandfather clock in the other room or her own heartbeat. She opened her mouth to reply but was at a loss; it seemed now that Dennis was committed to a relationship, the truth of the intensity of his feelings was ready to come out. 

“I never thought we’d find someone that would want us,” he continued, searching for words that weren’t coming easily. “I will fight for what we have for the rest of my life.”

The words both warmed Casey and made her sad. “Not everything has to be a struggle.”

He smiled. “You’re right. Come here.”

Before she had time to protest, Dennis reached out and wrapped his hands around her waist, pulling her close for a kiss before exploring her body just as he had the night before, only now his access was completely unhindered. Taking his time, he focused on her upper body, fingertips brushing against her cheek, her collarbone, her nipples. Her fingers curled around the bed sheet as he teased them erect, desperate and begging for more contact. By the time his hands trailed down to her inner thighs, she was more than ready, praying for once that he would just _do_ instead of think.

There was no time for gratitude as a finger entered her, there was barely enough time to breathe. Her own voice gave out as she tried to whimper, the sound a wisp against the clamor of Dennis's own panting. His movements were deft and thoughtful, feeling her body open to him and responding in turn, only adding another finger when she whined against his mouth, searching for another kiss. "You feel so good...so perfect!"

More than once while cleaning, Dennis had come across various items of Barry's: brushes, vibrators, massage oil, even the occasional restraint, the tools of an artist for working on his favorite canvas-his lady. Usually Dennis would groan and then take a detour into the nearest bathroom, relieving himself of the swiftly building sexual tension before continuing on with his chores.

But now that he had Casey for himself, it was obvious there was no choice but to indulge in a “hands on” approach. Teasing and coaxing were perfectly fine, but they did not come naturally to one who was molded and defined by discipline. No, there was a job to do, and Dennis had every intention of completing it thoroughly. Hands that no longer seemed to belong to him moved of their own accord, memorizing her lines, the shape of her. Each piece was exquisite, breathtaking, demanding his complete dedication. It spoke to something buried so deep inside that it burrowed its way past the worm and awakened another sort of creature altogether. He growled and fell back onto the mattress, ready to give everything as he abruptly pulled her on top of himself.

Before Casey knew it, she was grinding against his hip bones, feeling him pull her even further up his body. "Your turn," he repeated, licking his lips and urging her forward as she nodded frantically, ecstatic at the thought of straddling his face; of his furious, undivided attention all on her.

Briefly, self consciousness invaded her as she hovered over him, completely exposed, but Dennis began eating her out immediately, his obvious enjoyment quieting the insecurities. As she settled into a comfortable position, she felt nearly weightless, fingers curling through his hair as she rocked against his tongue and lips, his fingers digging into her hips like he was trying to keep her from falling. She very well might have been, losing herself completely to abandon. The feeling was as delicious as she had dared hope, although she was so crazy for Dennis that all he had to do was look in her general direction and she became enthralled. Now she was damned and knew it: the Horde's redeemer had marked her, she would never be able to escape his influence again (as if she could want to).

The ride didn’t last nearly as long as either would have liked, Casey so close to the edge after Dennis’s gentle exploration of her body. Despite the pleasure coiling up inside, she grit her teeth, instinctively refusing to let go; their proximity was both exhilarating and worrying, and she couldn’t help but feel that coming so close to his face was akin to sacrilege.

She tapped his shoulder, a warning, but Dennis ignored it completely, pulling her down even further. She was close enough for him to fuck her with his tongue now, fast and relentless, the unexpected new sensation making her whimper. The cry went an octave higher when he migrated back to her clit, licking steadily, and Casey finally gave in, thighs trembling around his ears as she came.

Reality itself was non-existent and she could barely feel herself roll off Dennis and onto her back, panting heavily. Looking up, the ceiling seemed to breathe along with her, the rush of serotonin coursing through her bloodstream warping her vision. To her right the bed dipped slightly as Dennis shifted to his side and propped himself up with a forearm, gazing at her with endless hunger.

For a few moments they just stared at each other, the pink color on Dennis's cheekbones contrasting the heavy metal grey in his eyes. The air felt charged, like at any moment one of them would combust, and Casey was positive it would end up being her.

Eventually, she reached over his body for a tissue on the nearby dresser, but Dennis pulled her back down on top of himself. He was hard again, rubbing against her stomach and emitting little moans as she inadvertently stimulated him. Refractory periods were not a pain point for the vessel of the Beast, and Casey smiled wryly, wondering if she should suggest that Patricia add that tidbit to her evangelizing. She could almost hear the other woman screech about blasphemy.

"What is it?," Dennis asked, noting her wide smile, and Casey looked back down at him, debating if she should let him in on the joke.

"A thought got away from me."

"Hmm. I wish my thoughts were half as amusing as yours seem to be." His voice was husky as though he had just orgasmed himself, and the fact her own arousal was such a turn on for him gave her all the incentive she needed for round two. Her lips found his and they briefly made out as Casey ran her nails up and down his chest, causing him to eventually push her back down onto the bed.

"I'm going to fuck the shit out of you," he rumbled, leaning over to kiss her breasts, his voice finding a home between her thighs, sharp and hot. “I want your legs to tremble every time you think of me from now on.”

In the blink of an eye, Casey found herself on all fours as he pressed up against her entrance, waiting for the go ahead. For a moment she hesitated; she would have liked to look into his eyes as they fucked, but wanted to feel him deep inside even more, so she quickly acquiesced. "I want you! No more teasing!"

He didn't have to be asked twice. Once situated, Casey was able to appreciate the brilliance of the position as an arm reached around her and his fingers found her clit, now recovered from the first orgasm. Like this it was unavoidable: no matter how she moved, he was there to meet her. She could push back against him or move forward, but she would be pleasured regardless, unable to escape his relentless need to serve her, worship her with his body. 

Casey shuddered as he pushed in and then pulled out, again and again, heat swirling up and around her cunt . The sound of their bodies colliding and their shared breathing became her whole world, and she didn’t think she could handle much more. Dennis had other ideas.

Pulling her hips backwards so she now sat on his lap, he filled her completely, and she took a moment to settle into this new position, to accommodate him. “Too much?” he growled, craning to nip at her shoulder blades, but she shook her head vehemently. Satisfied, he began rocking again, memorizing the angles and depth that made her clench against him the hardest.

_Strong…disciplined…necessary_. Dr. Fletcher’s words came out of nowhere, and he stared transfixed at Casey writhing over his measured touch. Sweat was streaming in rivulets down her back, and he licked at her skin slowly, letting her feel the tip of his tongue curl against her sensitive flesh. She whimpered, sensation overload taking over, the second orgasm building exponentially fast. His tongue, his hands, his cock...meticulous and dedicated, he was bringing her to her metaphorical knees, and she couldn't help the curses spilling out unbidden. 

Placing a palm over her mouth to muffle the sounds that would inevitably drive him to orgasm, Dennis smiled against the back of her head. Enough time for enjoying her cries later on, he wasn’t done yet. It was his business to find every erogenous spot on her body and kiss, suck, lick, caress, bite, and massage them all until he induced an out of body experience, or a pleasure based coma. Either way seemed fine as she came around him a second time, her nails digging in to whatever parts of his flesh she could grab before melting back onto the bed.

As she caught her breath, Dennis couldn’t help but smile at how beautiful she was. Cheeks flushed, hair splayed everywhere, chest heaving like she had just run a marathon. She reached out to stroke his persistent erection, but he deftly avoided her attempt, not ready to end their encounter.

Grabbing her wrists, he pinned her arms above her head, not to stimulate a loss of control, but so she wouldn't fuss with touching him. Of course he craved her touch more than anything, but again, he had a job to do. She said she wanted him, his strength, his power. He had to melt her, make her cum again and again until she was putty and he could merge with her, become one with her, offer her every piece of himself that she needed until they were completely intertwined. This was his sacrifice, his offering of atonement to her. He could never undue their past, so he would open every part of himself to her, let her brand him, make him hers so that she could dictate their future. 

Laying down besides her, he coaxed her to turn and face him. "Hey, look at me." 

Expectantly she did as asked, the heat still not extinguished, a dull ache still residing between her legs. “Dennis, please..” she begged, and who was he to deny her? He aligned them both using one hand and pulled her close with his other arm, planting gentle kisses all over her face as they connected once again.

The sounds that escaped her mouth briefly made him want to flip her onto her back and fuck her into the mattress until her toes were curling and their mixed cum was exploding out from between her legs, but he quickly gained control of himself. That was not the way this could play out right now. Tonight was for Casey to claim Dennis, to take from him what she needed as his penance. To that end, he pulled her outer leg over his thigh so that he moved deeper inside of her, and then slowly began to thrust, letting her moans guide his pace.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Casey nuzzled into his chest, overwhelmed by their shared closeness and the fire slowly building back up inside of her. He must have done something right because she scratched his back so hard she drew blood. If there was pain he didn’t notice, the look of ecstasy on her face was a drug and he was determined to take as many hits as possible. Again and again he thrust into her, and he could have sworn he heard her sob with delight after every powerful stroke. Her arms were beginning to shake around him, endorphins flooding her bloodstream, and but before she could find release, he pulled away.

In anticipation of her protests he quickly flipped over onto his back and shifted her to his waist. “Look at me,” he purred, and by god did Casey look, the throaty sound of his rumbling, happy voice alien to her ears. He seemed content, but she would never know how close to heaven he felt at that moment.

Reaching out to stroke her face, her hair, her breasts, he took his other hand and laid her own onto his chest. “Do you feel me?” he asked through hooded eyes. “Can you feel that every bit of strength that I have, it belongs to you? You said you wanted me.”

“I do want you, I will never stop wanting you, Dennis,” Casey groaned, spent and nearly falling over. She traced her fingers over his chest, his delts, over his biceps straining with lust as he held her in place. His words sank in and desire like she had never known crashed into her as she leaned down to nip at his ear and jaw. “You’re mine. All of this is mine.”

“Yes. Every piece of me belongs to you, Casey Cooke. You own me.”

A primal growl escaped from Casey’s throat and she hungrily kissed his mouth, dug her hands into his neck, his back, trying to press herself fully into him, dissolve, become one and never, ever leave. His strength aligned itself with her, and she wanted nothing more than to become a part of him, be a part of his maelstrom, to know what that power felt like as her own.

For a final time she took him into herself, determined to come apart at the seams, determined to drag Dennis along with her. Soon the need to be stroked all over slowly gave way to a rising feeling of liquid pleasure, and she picked up the pace- hungry, greedy. Later on she would be sore, but for now she drove herself as hard as she could go.

“Holy shit!” she gasped as she came down and met his cock right where she needed it. “You feel so, so good. Fuck.”

Her praise made him buck under her, and he knew that he wouldn’t last much longer. He gently lifted her chin to look him in the eyes once again as he silently confessed his sins. He was hollowing her out, digging a crevice inside where he could push out all her pain, fill her with himself, nurturing soil to plant seeds of hope within.

"You're safe here, Casey," he gasped, feeling the telltale signs of orgasm screaming through his body. Her eyes widened in something like surprise and he gave himself over to the inevitable as she began to come, contracting repeatedly around him. 

"You're safe with me too," he thought he heard her say, but couldn't grasp much at the moment. Nothing hurt where he lay, and the peace was disorienting. Even the dread worm was quiet, and while he understood it was all hormones and biology, a small part of him wondered if he had been transported into another body, one not wracked by fear and pain. 

"Dennis?"

Casey's voice broke the inner quiet, but it was welcome, one more piece of perfection layering itself over his reality. Bit by bit he became conscious of his skin sticking to the sheets, the sweat and mess surrounding him, but for now it was still someone else's problem, another Dennis. "Casey," he exhaled. It was all he could manage at the moment, so they lay in contented silence.

Now that her lust had been satiated, Casey couldn’t help but notice that Dennis's scars seemed much more visible than she previously remembered. She reached out to touch them as he had hers, slightly perplexed at how obviously different they were from the Others. In the past as she had pawed at Barry’s, white and faded, as much a memory as Barry longed for them to be-dead and buried.

With Dennis, they were red and angry, clearly scars but not so settled, not so neatly given to the past. It was almost as if the memories of abuse were stored under the re-knit flesh, just waiting for the right moment to burst out and victimize Dennis all over again. (Once Rakel had explained the alters’ “mind body” connection as something truly remarkable, changing their very DNA according to his or her own experiences and beliefs, but even now Casey found herself surprised).

Dennis caught her staring and his face twisted, clearly wondering if she found them...found _him_ repulsive, even after what they had just experienced together. Calm thoughts turned ugly again, and he wanted to cover himself up. Even as he turned his head away and shifted his weight so that his body wasn't so close to her own, she searched out his gaze. “Dennis.”

When he looked back, she placed one of his hands on her right shoulder where a deep cut had once marred her, an eternal promise:_ I understand. You are perfect all the same._

Mollified, he leaned down to bury himself between her breasts, appreciating the comfort found there. “I’d stay like this forever if I could,” he murmured. “You’re the only person I’ve ever met that understands what it’s like.”

Thirty years of loneliness and suffering was mind boggling, Casey had barely survived the eleven that had passed since her father’s death. Running her fingers through his hair and scratching the back of his neck, she sighed as he melted further into her. “When did you first know that you could trust me?”

“Hmmm?”

“When did you think of me as more than…I don’t know, sacred food?”

Clearly uncomfortable, Dennis frowned as shame crept into his features. Maybe this was a mistake. “I had doubts as soon as I had to take out Dr. Fletcher. She knew the worst about me, but still believed I was more than my faults. And I hurt her. That’s when I thought that maybe I had everything backwards.”

“Did you ever think of me, the months after I escaped?”

“Sometimes.The Others refused to talk to me outside of begging for the kidnapping to stop, even Barry hated me. And when you came back for us, for the life of me I just couldn’t understand why. Why did you give a shit what happened to us beyond the fact that we were locked up?”

Casey picked at a thread coming loose on the comforter, too lost in her thoughts to notice Dennis’s grimace. “I thought of you. Constantly. All of you. My therapist told me that it was just a symptom of PTSD, very normal, and I was too terrified to admit the truth to myself. That I had imagined a connection as a way to cope.”

Dennis was breathing heavily now. “Connection?”

“I had finally met someone else that understood what it was like to be violated to the point of having nothing left to lose. And…when I spoke to the Beast…”

“He told us about your scars that night.” Without thinking, Dennis once again touched her right shoulder before bringing his lips to it, repentant, submissive. “I thought about how I had misjudged you. Wondered every night that the Beast feasted if I had sentenced another innocent to death. Usually the worst wounds are impossible to see. When there was no revolution, it dawned on me that maybe it was because all of our victims…”

Casey’s eyes glistened with tears he didn’t deserve. “They were all innocent?”

Once, twice, he opened his mouth to agree, but could only manage to nod before nuzzling her neck, a universal gesture in seeking comfort. “Every time I see your scars, I remember that I don’t deserve this.”

“Who paid for your suffering?”

The question was so out of left field that Dennis had to repeat it to himself a few times before really understanding what was being asked. “I don't know how to answer that.”

“Kevin’s mother ravaged you all, violated you. Tortured you. And she died peacefully in her sleep, no justice served.”

“I-”

“Uncle John is in prison, yes. But he’s never going to know a fraction of the pain that he’s caused me. He lost his physical freedom, but we both know it’s not the same as to what we lost.”

"What does that have to do with me?"

“There will never be a fair accounting of our actions in this world, we just have to do the best we can. You could spend the rest of your life..of Kevin’s life, Barry’s life, Orwell’s life, Hedwig’s life…confined to a psychiatric hospital. Or you can save lives. Which outcome serves justice more?”

The answer was obvious, it had been obvious all those months since Raven Hill; hearing another person say it out loud was still a surreal experience. Casey brushed against the white mass of scar tissue where the shotgun bullet had impacted the Beast, and Dennis flinched. “If that had killed me, I would have deserved it.”

“You would have,” she agreed. “But now you deserve something else. We both deserve this.”

* * *

That night Dennis let tears fall freely in front of Casey, silent and restrained, but needed. He had wept countless times over the course of his lifetime, but never with so much relief. What gave him the right to be happy? He could hear Penelope shrieking the question somewhere far away, deep inside, but it didn't matter anymore. He _was_ happy.

And tomorrow morning, when Casey woke up, he would still be there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngl, this chapter was just not coming to me. This was another one where I wrote bits and pieces after seeing the movies for the first time last year and it initally flowed easily, but actually putting it all together to publish was punishing. 
> 
> Anyway, I begin my new job soon, and I'm hoping that means I start writing a bit more frequently. Unfortunately in this position I won't have the luxury of being able to write in my downtime, but at the very least this cabin fever miasma that's been hanging over my head might finally dissipate and I'll feel more creative. Fingers crossed!


	35. The Vision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis and Casey continue to have a great morning. Kevin sees something he doesn't think he was supposed to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugggh, the faster updates just haven't been happening, I'm sorry fam. Got some more upheaval I'm dealing with in my personal life, but I try to work on writing at least a little each day. FWIW I've also been working on ToR and my After Fear series, so it hasn't just been this chapter I've been wrestling with. More updates soon? 
> 
> I appreciate you all sticking with me!

One of the Huff’s roosters must have been feeling particularly spiteful that morning. An obnoxious crowing began around 4:30 AM, and no matter how hard Dennis wished and prayed, it just wouldn't shut up. At some point he started hurling all manner of mental curses and profanity at it, but apparently it wasn't any more psychic than he was.

Eventually he gave up on the idea of getting more sleep and elected to watch Casey toss and turn in an effort to drown out the outside noise, going so far as to grab a pillow and bury her head underneath it. He remained silent and still, trying not to contribute to her restlessness, but by the time the clock read 5:30, he sighed and rolled over onto his back, stretching cramped muscles. “Sounds like that damn bird wants to be a contender for dinner tonight,” he grumbled under his breath.

Startled, Casey pulled her head out from underneath her pillow, eyelids still heavy with sleep. She searched his face for a few quiet moments until something seemed to dawn on her. “You’re still here!”

Dennis couldn’t help but smile, feeling wanted was a rare pleasure that he didn't think he would ever get used to. “Yeah. I’m still here.” His voice was gravely from sleep, but the affection lining his words made them pop and bubble through Casey's nerves, sending subtle jolts of electricity through her body.

Before she could initiate a round of morning sex, Dennis nodded towards the direction of their feathered neighbor. “Believe it or not, roosters aren’t as dumb as people make them out to be. Definitely little shits, but not dumb.” Like Patricia, Dennis was fairly well versed in Zoology, although his interest was more on account of his old job and not particularly a hobby. It was hard not to know a lot about animals when they had been your co-workers for a decade.

Casey smiled warmly. “I believe it. Did it wake you up too?”

“Yeah. It’s fine though, I usually wake up early.” There was another round of shrill crowing, and Dennis rubbed his eyes, still exhausted despite his reassurances to the contrary. While normally not one for much sleep, he had a busy evening, and then an even busier night with Casey.

God, did this mean was he getting old?

Warmth engulfed his left side as Casey cuddled into his chest, stretching out alongside his body. She traced lazy circles around his collarbone, making him shiver. “You have plans for today?”

“It's Sunday, right?” Another sign he hadn't gotten much rest-Dennis was usually super on top of his dates.

“Mmhmm.”

Considering her question with his usual gravitas, Dennis started checking off his fingers. “Luke has his gardening this morning, and then B.T. said he wants to try a new recipe for lunch. Mediterranean or something, I think.”

Casey perked up considerably. “Yum! He hasn’t cooked in forever.” 

“Well fortunately for you, I’m sure he’s going to make enough to last days. Kat has online piano lessons in the afternoon, and then Hedwig gets to play for a few hours. Oh, and it's Kevin's turn in the light this evening.”

Something he said seemed to jostle Casey's memory and she shifted, propping herself up on an elbow. “Hedwig has been pleading non-stop to visit the dog park. It's fine by me, just wanted to give you a heads up.”

"For?"

"You know he's going to be begging for a puppy afterwards."

Dennis sighed, partially covering his eyes with a forearm. If Hedwig ever managed to recruit Casey to this particular cause, the battle would be lost before it began. “I understand animals. I empathize with them. That doesn’t mean I want to be responsible for one. Especially not with so much going on.”

Casey bat her eyelashes playfully. “Well, maybe having a puppy would help teach Hedwig some responsibility.”

“Hedwig won't learn about the concept of responsibility until he turns 10," Dennis mumbled into his arm, and Casey gaped.

“Hedwig can turn 10?” 

“No, that was...the point. It’s not a joke if it has to be spelled out.”

“Oh…." Her voice was full of wonder that _also_ sounded suspiciously sarcastic. "You were _trying_ to be funny!”

She only had a moment to react before Dennis growled and pounced on her, making her screech and thrash in an effort to get away. He hesitated briefly, her cries causing him concern that she wasn't playing anymore, and that gave Casey the opportunity to wiggle out of his arms, pulling herself up to the windowsill above their bed.

"Oh god, someone save me from Tiger-Man!" she yelled to a squirrel sitting on their lawn, fat and preoccupied with an acorn, remaining completely oblivious to her pleas and laughter.

"I swear to god, if you call me that one more time!"

With tempered force, Dennis pulled her away from the window and tickled her sides before pinning her beneath his body, restraining her wrists to keep her from flailing. Leaning down for a kiss, he swallowed her giggles with his mouth, tongue demanding to be let in, and she happily obliged. There was a luminescent joy running through Casey's veins as they continued to return each other's affections, and she began compiling a list of reasons to convince him to spend the day in bed with her.

When Dennis pulled away, he graced her with a rare smile, sweetly kissing the tip of her nose. It was...so uniquely Dennis. Kevin’s smile was often bashful, and Barry’s could light up a small city. Dennis’s seemed almost hesitant, flickering on and off until it settled quietly on his face, relaxed and just happy to even be there.

Unfortunately, the smile disappeared when he noticed the upturned sheets all around them, making a face at the discord he had helped cause. But Casey had already committed the image to memory, something to store away and hold on to for less happy days. She moved to peck him on the lips before getting up to remake the bed, and she could have sworn she saw it peak out again.

When they finished fixing everything to Dennis's liking, Casey huddled back under the covers, giving him her best puppy eyes and motioning for him to join her. "The damn rooster finally shut up. Can't we spend a few more hours together? Luke will understand."

Dennis highly doubted that, but fortunately Luke was still asleep. Might as well complete his rehabilitation into normalcy and sleep in on the weekend like every other working person. With a shrug, he lay back down and pulled Casey in close, the faint scent of floral shampoo wafting around him as he buried himself in her hair. 

They both fell back asleep within minutes. 

* * *

It wasn't rude poultry but their alarm clock that woke Dennis up once again, and he lithely moved to hit the off button before it could disturb Casey; just because he liked getting up before noon didn't mean she had to.

Gently, he disentangled himself from her arms and headed downstairs to begin his morning routine, starting with the daily paper. It was part habit and part reconnaissance, but he often wondered if the only reason he had started doing it was because it was one of his few happy memories of Clarence-each morning sitting at their worn kitchen table, paper in one hand and steaming coffee in the other, motioning for Dennis to come over for a good morning hug and kiss before Penelope woke up and made their lives a living hell. 

_What would you say about all this if you were still around? Would any part of you be proud of me?_

Rolling his shoulders back, Dennis stepped out the front door and onto the porch with a contented sigh. The privacy afforded by their rural surroundings had fast become one of his favorite parts of no longer living in a city. It took a while to get used to, but now he could confidently walk around around sans shirt on his own property without feeling self conscious. Hedwig had taken that as a carte blanche invitation to run around completely naked until a mortified Bernice caught him and booked it back inside. That old woman could _move_ when she wanted to, and Casey didn't let any of them live it down for days.

The morning air was already hot, but it never quite reached the humidity levels common to Pennsylvania. It seemed the perfect weather for some fresh squeezed orange juice and yogurt parfaits, and while the idea of breakfast in bed was distressing, perhaps Casey would enjoy having breakfast made just for her. Set at the kitchen table, of course.

Pleased with this idea, Dennis walked down their long, gravel driveway to retrieve the day’s newspaper, wondering how much better things could possibly get. When he returned and opened the front door to enter the foyer, he could hear Casey padding down the steps and he looked up at her apologetically. “Did I wake you again? I keep meaning to oil the door hinges but it keeps slipping my mind.”

She brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear, smiling lazily. “Nah. I think my body just subconsciously missed having you nearby.”

Dennis flushed, looking away in an attempt to hide his bewilderment. “I was gonna make us some breakfast. Well,” he looked up at the clock hanging above the kitchen sink, remembering this was one of the rare days he had allowed himself to sleep in. “Brunch. I’ll make us brunch.”

“Brunch sounds fancy. Bear is gonna be jealous!”

Smiling, Dennis’s eyes absently wandered from Casey over to the newspaper he was still holding and they narrowed suddenly, not escaping Casey's notice.

“What’s wrong?”

“There’s, uh….” Dennis rubbed the back of his neck, resigned to the fact that his morning plans were already ruined. “There’s something I should probably show you.”

* * *

Casey eyed Dennis's newspaper with ever increasing suspicion (and irritation) as she followed him into the living room and over to a large wooden desk. It was old school, heavy and carved from maple, the lacquered wood polished to a bright sheen under Dennis's careful watch. With no small amount of trepidation, he crouched down by the bottom drawer and looked up over his shoulder at Casey, his expression taut with concern. Any annoyance immediately evaporated on Casey's end. Here was her tiger, looking haunted...and hunted. What had weighed him down so heavily all of a sudden?

He cleared his throat. "I'm not sure if you've even noticed, but the Horde hasn't been making many waves lately. Not here, at least. But I've been on high alert all the same."

Oh no. “By ‘Horde’ you mean people outside of the System?”

Dennis rubbed the bridge of his nose, uneasy. “Right. The disciples that have been recruited outside of Kevin, assuming there are any. I was hoping to get a pin on their motives, or maybe figure out how they’ve been communicating with Patricia and the Beast….”

All the blood drained from Casey's face. "Have there have been more murders? Like the one we saw on tv?"

“I’m….not sure. They’ve not been as overt as they were back in Pennsylvania, but there’s been the odd story here and there that has hit the national news.” He pulled open the bottom drawer and stood back up so Casey could have easier access to his stash. “Here, look.”

Kneeling down slowly, Casey began picking papers out one by one, some stories warranting their own headlines, others bits of information buried between bigger news. Her eyes turned towards today's article: **THREE TEEN BOYS MISSING, PARENTS BLAME NEWFOUND SATANISM**

Casey wrinkled her nose. "Satanism?"

"Easy enough to conflate the Horde with Satanism with all the references to the Beast I suppose. Like I said, nothing here is concrete, just my suspicions." 

“Have you shown Orwell? Or Barry?”

“I didn’t want to instigate more panic when I wasn’t even sure if this was Horde related. Especially not with everything else on our plate.”

Casey felt absolutely helpless. There certainly _was_ a lot on their plate, what with paying the bills and Dennis’s pet project, and then dealing with the Horde on top of it…the worst part was, there was very little she felt she could do to help relieve him of his burdens. “Why don’t you take some time off of work and let me worry about money for the time being? If you start spreading yourself too thin-”

That made Dennis scoff, only just barely keeping himself from rolling his eyes. “I told you, I’m gonna take care of you. I don't want you worrying.”

That warranted Casey's own eye roll. “I hate to tell you this, but we're pretty much attached at the hip by this point. The System's problems are my problems. Besides, I can take care of _myself_, thank you.” The look on her face was so intense, so genuine, and despite Dennis wanting to protest further, it was true that she had been pulling more than her fair share of the weight. In fact, he doubted that they could have made it this far without her.

A little shudder ran down his spine and he unceremoniously dropped the papers back into the drawer before slamming it shut with his heel. "I have half an hour before it's time to switch with Luke. I think we can find _some_ way I can take care of you in the meantime."

Casey raised a brow as he nudged her backwards towards the sofa, helping her pull off her cotton tank top as she reached for the band of his sweatpants. This sort of care and attention, she could get behind.

* * *

Orwell was dreaming, and it was the best dream of his life yet.

In it, he was thoroughly engaged in an argument with Goddard over what would have become of Francisco Goya if King Carlos III had not introduced the Age of Enlightenment to Spain in the 18th century. Right as Goddard was announcing to the whole System that Orwell was most definitely the superior mind in history (both art history and otherwise), Orwell was jostled, startled awake without even being able to give his victory speech.

Quickly coming to his senses, he looked down at his lap, annoyed, as Hedwig stared back up at him with a cheeky grin. “Mr. Orwell, Mr. Dennis wants to talk to you, a sap!”

“It's pronounced 'ASAP', Hedwig.”

“Oh my god, that’s what I said! You are sooooo slow and boring, et cetra! Let’s go!”

Begrudgingly, Orwell allowed himself to be led over to a small gathering of the others. He had been used to working alongside Barry and Dennis these past few months, but was surprised to see Jade, Samuel, and Mr. Pritchard there as well. Briefly he became alarmed and wondered if Dennis had found out about his and Casey’s experiments with the Beast, but Jade and Samuel looked just as clueless and lost as he felt. He decided it prudent to wait and see what was going on instead of rousing any suspicions with pointed questions. 

Fortunately, Dennis wasted no time explaining. “I saw something in the paper this morning, and Casey thought I shouldn't keep it to myself."

Jade rolled her eyes, unimpressed. “Is this more about your superhero fantasies?” She mimed jerking herself off with a smirk, causing Hedwig to double over in hysterics. “If so, I’m not interested.”

“Better behave Jade, or you’re on Hedwig duty next,” Barry warned with a mischievous grin, and Hedwig promptly began protesting needing a babysitter while Jade cursed Barry out.

“It’s about the Horde.”

Immediately everyone shut up, turning nervous eyes to Dennis. Orwell and Mr. Pritchard glanced at each other while Jade stepped closer to Barry, subconsciously searching for some sense of security. Even Hedwig got up off the ground and flanked Barry’s other side, waiting to see what Mr. Dennis knew.

“Has there been another murder?” Samuel broke the tense silence, his voice cracking with strain.

“It’s…complicated. I’ve been keeping up with the news every day, looking for things that have been out of the ordinary-murders, ritualistic killings, the kidnapping of teenagers, both girls and boys.” Dennis paused, trying to drum up the courage to admit what he so badly wanted to deny. “While I can’t say for sure, many of them have the markings of Horde involvement, yes.”

Barry’s mouth dropped open. “Why didn’t ya say something sooner?”

“First of all, I really don’t have any proof. Second of all…I didn’t want to frighten anyone, least of all have this get back to Kevin.” He paused for a moment before continuing with a grimace. “I don’t think they know where we are yet, but I do think they’ve been trying to draw us out.”

“But if Patricia can communicate with them, why hasn’t she told them where we are?”

That was a good question, one Dennis wasn’t even remotely prepared to answer. The way everyone was looking at him SCREAMED that they knew he was clueless, but that didn't mean it was hopeless. Yet. “We don’t know who is communicating with them, or how. We don’t know how many there are. We don’t even know what the endgame is.”

Orwell nodded. “Right. What are our options?”

“We could…beat it out of them,” Mr. Pritchard offered timidly before glancing around to see everyone staring at him dubiously. “What? We’ve never tried it before, who’s to say it wouldn’t work?”

“You try and beat up the Beast, let us know how that goes,” Jade sneered.

Barry shifted from foot to foot, as though balancing himself to keep from falling headlong into the trap they all felt was about to spring on them. “There will be no beatings, thank you. No beatings, no threats, no motlov cocktails, and definitely no saran wrap over the toilet.”

“I’m glad you’re taking this seriously, Barry.”

Barry only offered Dennis a shrug, clearly at the end of his proverbial rope. “What do ya expect? They’re committing more atrocities, and we may as well be hog tied for all the power we have to stop them.”

Orwell rubbed his chin, nonplussed, he _lived_ for these moments. “I believe our best course of action right now is to discern their primary objective. Clearly they’d like us to relinquish our hold over Kevin so that the Beast may have full control, but we all know that’s not an option. So how do they intend to force our hand?” His thoughts working overtime, Orwell began pacing now, no one bothering to actually answer him. Everyone was well aware that when Orwell asked a question, it was usually rhetorical and an excuse to hear himself speak.

He continued. “And surely they realize that we are aware that if the Beast is in control, the killings will not stop. In fact, they are likely to occur with an even greater frequency, especially if he now has disciples willing to offer sacrifices. Truly we are at a stalemate."

"I assumed that when we started starving him, the Beast would have his hands full just staying alive. Clearly we can't depend on that anymore since, for some reason, he's bounced back." Dennis crossed his arms, staring pointedly at Orwell.

Orwell didn't take the bait, instead ignoring Dennis completely. “Well, we do have one advantage. Tell me, what did Machiavelli, Napoleon, and Francis Bacon have in common?”

"Um...they were French?" Barry offered. Mr Pritchard tisked.

"Does 'Bacon' sound French to you, Barry? Really?"

"It sounds like breakfast to me, what's your point?"

“HOLY SHIT! Orwell, can you please just tell us for once instead of insisting we play round after round of Family Feud?” Jade interjected, already over the conversation. If Orwell had it his way, they'd be playing 20 Questions all afternoon.

"Hmph." Dusting a non existent piece of lint off of his shirt, Orwell tried not to look put out. “The belief and application of ‘divide and conquer’, my friends. There are more of us in here than there are of them, and clearly Dennis called us all together because he knows we value protecting Kevin above all else. If we divvy up responsibilities, surely we can cover more ground than if-"

A shrill scream broke through the chair room and everyone turned and looked in dismay towards the darkness, where it had originated. Despite distress distorting the sound, it was clear the voice belonged to-

"Kevin!"

Barry had already launched himself headfirst towards the source of the clamor, and Dennis was right behind him. 

* * *

Something was wrong. Something was always wrong in the outside world, but in here, it was supposed to be safe. Supportive. Nurturing.

This place wasn’t right.

Kevin could feel the split earth beneath his fingertips before he even opened his eyes. Neither the chair room nor the darkness had ground that felt this earthy, this dry. Reluctantly, he stood up to observe this new environment, and wind licked at his skin, just as hot and void of life as the rest of his surroundings. Where was he?

Before him sat a forest, the trees grown to impossible heights. They stood barren and lifeless, charred completely black as though a fire had swept through long ago and left them fossilized husks. Kevin shivered despite the sweltering heat, only two things were apparently clear: this desolate place was a part of him, and the only things that lived here were long dead.

His initial impulse was to run, to find Dennis or Barry or Jade, anyone who could help make sense of this new environment, but something caught his eye between the trees. It was massive, towering over the horizon line, and Kevin had a hard time looking at it, his mind rejecting whatever it was his eyes were telling him.

There was no time to reflect on his mind's refusal to cooperate. As soon as the thing noticed that Kevin had seen it, he was flung far away, back into the darkness. Kevin gasped, feeling the full brunt of impact as he landed…wherever he was now. Before he could even catch his bearings he was on his feet again, only to smash right into another body and collapse onto the ground a second time.

“Kevin?”

Kevin looked up to see mild eyes staring down at him in concern, and he scrambled backwards, momentarily startled. While he had always been able to see the Others, they were often hazy, like a mirage, or like in a dream where details could fade in and out, change without warning. But now Barry stood in front of him as though made of flesh and bone; Kevin marveled, it was like looking at a leaner, more stylish version of himself. Barry's hair was longer, lazily pulled back up into a bun, and spider bite piercings decorated the right side of his lower lip, but otherwise they looked uncannily similar to each other.

Behind Barry another man came walking up, and if his wide shoulders, strong jawline, and glasses didn’t give him away, the worried scowl certainly did. Kevin gaped. “Dennis?”

Both alters stared in surprise, shocked Kevin could identify Dennis without having heard him speak. Dennis moved closer, leaning down to make sure Kevin was unharmed. “What’s going on? We heard yelling.”

“I can see you. All of you, everything!” Kevin’s eyes roamed from Dennis to Barry and back to Dennis again, taking it all in. He had always known they were real in a way most people didn’t understand, but now it was like talking to old friends, face to face. He tried to push back the tears that were threatening to overwhelm him and not doing a particularly great job.

Barry smiled, as gentle as Kevin had always imagined, the studs beneath his lip glinting with light coming from the chair room. “It’s about time.”

Dennis wasn’t nearly so enthused, still worried. “What happened? Why were you screaming?” He reached down to help Kevin up, nearly launching him off of the ground with the force of his pull, but Barry caught him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Dennis, he sees us!”

“Yeah, I heard.” Dennis frowned, somehow even harder than before if it were possible. “Kevin? For the last time, what is going on?” Scanning his non-corporal body, there didn't seem to be any harm done, but that didn't mean much in a place where thought was king.

Kevin was beginning to feel overwhelmed and crowded by the pair-that barren place, his newfound ability to see clearly-this was all too much, too fast. As gently as possible, he pulled away from Barry and looked towards the light. “I’m ok, I'm not hurt. I gotta…I gotta go.”

Clearly unhappy with the answer but certain that was all he was going to get, Dennis stepped to the side as Kevin pushed past him. For the first time in his life, Kevin's inner world was more chaotic then whatever was going on outside of himself, and more than anything he needed the stability of the physical. He needed Casey. “Don’t go anywhere, I'm gonna be back soon!” he called over his shoulder, and Dennis looked bewildered.

“Where does he think we would go?”

Barry just laughed.

* * *

Casey was working on a new oil painting, half listening to a Crime and Mystery podcast and the other half listening to Hedwig play in the next room. She had promised they would go to the dog park as soon as she was done filling in the eyes of the fox she had been painting, but all thoughts of play quickly vanished when she heard Kevin yelling her name.

Immediately dropping her paint brush, she rushed into the living room only to see him on the ground surrounded by dinosaurs and plastic superheros, looking slightly lost.

“Kevin!”

She threw herself into his arms and they kissed like they hadn’t seen each other in weeks, although in truth it had only been a few days at most. Kevin’s hands slid down to her waist and pulled her in for a hug, nuzzling the crook of her neck. “Oh my god, you seriously would not believe what just happened!”

He explained his recent misadventure to an increasingly wide eyed Casey, and by the time he was done, she didn’t know where to begin.

“So where were you? What do you think that monster thing was? Why can you see all the alters so clearly now?”

"I don't know. That's why I wanted to talk to you, see if something has happened out here that, you know..." he pantomimed turning on a light, "might have flipped a switch in our head or something."

Running through the events of the past couple of days, nothing seemed to stand out all that much. Of course Dennis had gone out for the first time "officially" in his new heroic persona but Kevin was already well aware of...oh. Oh shit. Dennis.

Was it possible?

Kevin watched a deep scarlet bloom over her cheeks and nose, and he cupped her face gently, trying to smile reassuringly. “What’s wrong, Case?”

Was this going to make him angry? Sure, he had given her his blessing with Barry, but that was months ago, and before she and him had started sleeping together. Would he think she was taking advantage of his condition?

Silence stretched out between them as Casey chose her next words carefully. “I…spent the past couple of nights with Dennis.”

“Dennis?” Kevin frowned, more puzzled than anything else. "Did he get hurt again?"

"No, I mean..." Casey pulled away from his hands and started playing with the hem of her shirt, trying to avoid Kevin's gaze. "We had sex last night. And this morning."

After a few moments passed with no explosion of anger or protests, Casey risked looking up-Kevin just seemed more confused.

"Huh. That's weird," he finally offered.

"I'm sorry, this is all new to me and I realize I should have asked you first, but it doesn't necessarily come naturally to ask two different people if it's alright to-"

The puzzled look on Kevin's face grew. "I'm fine with you being involved with the Others, you know that, right? It's not just Barry, we're kind of a package deal."

Someone could have knocked down a building with the weight that came tumbling off of Casey's shoulders. "Why do you look so confused then?"

"Dennis has always just seemed sort of inaccessible that way. Constantly horny AND repressed, usually just resorted to porn when he thought no one was paying attention." Kevin scratched at the stubble on his face, thinking. "Hell, I was never even sure if it _was_ possible for him to have sex. With the OCD, I mean. But he was the first born. Makes sense that changes in him would be affecting me too."

Something wasn't adding up. "Why would you be seeing new, creepy things in your mind if Dennis is happier? Um, presumably." Casey blushed again, realizing how arrogant that probably made her sound. Kevin just laughed, the sound as warm and welcome as ever.

"I think that place has something to do with the Beast. And you know what?" When he turned to look at her, Casey saw something in his face that she couldn't quite pinpoint, but witnessing it was like watching a comet streak by in the night sky-something that supposedly happened often, but to actually catch a glimpse of it was special.

"No, what?"

"I think I know how to find it again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always pictured the primary alters (Dennis, Barry, Hedwig, and Patricia) looking similar to Kevin because they represent major parts of himself. Plus I just can't picture most of them without seeing James McAvoy so there you go.


	36. Warship My Wreck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry and Casey make a bet  
Dennis pushes himself, digs deep, and finds....what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Pale Emperor is Manson's best album, fight me.

_You can't ever say I'm breaking the rules_

_If I can glue them back together_

_-Marilyn Manson_

“Ok. And we’re absolutely positive that this wasn’t a dream?”

Barry stared at Casey with what he hoped didn’t appear to be too much doubt, but from the look on her face he could see that he wasn't convincing. Could she blame him though? What she was talking about was unheard of. Alters were born, not places, and aside from the Beast (whom Barry tried to forget as often as possible), Kevin had not created a new personality in years.

To her credit, Casey didn't take offense. “I mean, I'm just repeating what Kevin said. Isn’t he with you?”

Kevin _was_ with Barry, hanging back and away from the light, and Barry could feel his need to explain everything radiating in waves like nervous energy.

“Yeah, but-”

“Then ask him! I'm sure he'd be able to explain it better than I can.”

Barry shook his head, explain what? The idea that there was some apocalyptic realm of desolation inside of them that nobody had seen or noticed just reeked of Horde machinations. The fact that Kevin wanted to go back and explore was even more alarming; Barry didn’t need to be the Guardian to know that it could end disastrously. And therein lay his problem: the changes in Kevin over the past year were miraculous, and Barry had little intention of doing anything to jeopardize that newfound sense of autonomy. How in the hell could he convey his concerns to Kevin without making the man feel like he wasn’t losing that independence?

Whatever the solution, it wasn't obvious at the moment, and he could still feel Kevin practically shaking with excitement behind him. While it was a welcome change, Barry felt awkward talking about the other man while he was listening in. He was the original after all.

“I’ll _talk_ to him, I promise,” Barry insisted through clenched teeth, only mouthing the word "_later_" when Casey cocked a brow at him.

Her eyes darted to the analog clock on their living room wall, and she relented. It was pushing 7 PM and Dennis would definitely want to get some rest as tomorrow was the beginning of a work week, but that didn't mean Barry was getting to walk away from the conversation that easily. "Alright, sounds good." 

They made small talk for a while, mostly about the new romper Barry was working on. At some point he became distracted, his words falling off for a moment or two before he sighed with relief. Kevin must have gone back to his chair and out of earshot, because Barry gave her a thumbs up. Before she could even open her mouth to speak, he cut her off.

“Babe, come on.”

“What?”

“You can’t seriously tell me that something isn’t off. You think there’s a monster in here that ISN’T the Beast? Both you and Kev seemed a little too excited at the prospect, if ya know what I mean.”

“We’re excited because…” Casey groped for the words. “Because things are happening to him that indicate that he’s getting stronger. Why are you acting like that's strange? Isn’t there a train yard, you know…” she trailed off, saying it out loud made her feel crazy. “Inside of you all? In Kevin’s mind? That's where the Beast was born, right?”

Lips pursed, Barry just shrugged. “I dunno, that’s what I’ve been told. If Kev and Dennis say there is, than I guess there is. _I’ve_ never been able to find it.”

“Maybe this Other Place is the same? It’s there, but you just don’t know it because it’s hidden from you, for whatever reason.”

“It makes sense, but I’m not sure I like that idea much better to be honest. I’d almost prefer it be some new thing.” A thread in his brand new Costume National V-neck sweater was coming loose and he picked at it with a curse-so much for quality. “Look, the thing is we gotta be careful. It isn’t exactly Narnia up in here, if ya know what I mean.”

Casey took the idea and ran with it. “It could be like Inside Out!”

“Or The fuckin’ Cell.”

“Since when are you a pessimist?”

“Doll, that ain’t pessimism, it’s an intense desire to protect our very fragile equilibrium. We were just having a conversation about the Horde when this all went down. That doesn't ring any bells to you?"

“If it was the Horde, why would they orchestrate an event that Kevin more power? Seems like a lousy trade off for something that's just a distraction."

“Maybe it was an unintended side effect. Patricia and the Beast love Kevin, baby girl. Now whether or not they love him more than they love their crusade, I couldn’t say, but I do know that whatever their scheming, it would never involve physically hurting him. Now these whackos they’ve recruited on the other hand…”

They sat in a nervous silence for a few moments. New wrenches were being thrown into their plans consistently, one after the other, and the sheer volume of it all was beginning to become overwhelming.

Sensing Casey’s distress, Barry reached out and took her hand, bringing it up to his mouth for a gentle kiss. “I wish ya would just let me and the Others worry about the logistics for once. You fight too many battles for us.”

“Because I love you, and that's how relationships work." She pulled her hand back to her side, and the way it clenched did not go unnoticed by Barry. "So what did you all decide to do about the Horde? I take it Dennis told you about the newspaper articles he’s been collecting?”

She really was not subtle in her rejection of his concerns, and Barry collapsed into a nearby chair. “We haven’t really ironed out the details, what with Kevin kind of interrupting our meeting by way of giving us a collective heart attack.” He smiled ruefully. “We were all too addled to talk much more after the fact, but we did decide that a select group of us would be keeping tabs on any potential Horde activity so that Dennis could focus on doing what he needs to do. There can’t be any distractions, it would put all of us in danger.”

“Meaning…we’re not going to tell him about this?”

“You know if Dennis finds out, he’s gonna insist on finding this place by himself and going in guns blazing. So to speak.”

“Dennis isn’t as unreasonable as you make him out to be.”

“That’s just it, he isn’t unreasonable, he’s the picture of reason! He’s gonna realize something dire is going down, and the weight of that is just too much for one guy. Even when he’s Batman.”

Casey laughed. “I bet he loves it when you call him that.”

“Nah, he definitely prefers Tiger-man.”

The good natured teasing was welcome stress relief, and Barry's lap was beginning to look inviting. Casey helped herself and wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning in for a kiss. When they parted, she grinned flirtatiously. Barry smirked.

“What is that look for?”

“I have an idea.”

“Oh no.”

“Excuse me, it’s brilliant! You’ll love it.” She nodded towards the front door. “You know that massive Dogwood tree down past the driveway?”

“I do.”

“I’ll race you to it. If I win, you have to go with Kevin and help him find this Other place."

The catch of the bet was completely outweighed by its perimeters, and Barry stared at her in surprise. “You wanna race…me?”

Hopping off of his lap, she quickly walked down the hallway and peaked out the window by the front door before whirling around with a shit eating grin. “Right.”

Barry laughed, airy and light. “Doll, I know I don’t have the longest legs, but Beast or no Beast I’ve got at least thirty pounds of muscle on ya, not to mention that crazy ass stamina ya love so well.” He wiggled his brows playfully, then sobered. “You know it and I know it, so you’re obviously up to something. What is it?”

“Wow, discounting me so fast. That’s love for you.”

"Aight, aight." Barry stood up, leisurely stretching his back out, mirroring her mischievousness. "And what do I get if I win?"

"I'll be your dress up doll for the month. Anything you want me to try on, I'll do it, no complaints and no questions."

Barry's mouth dropped open, she was calling in the high stakes. While she would usually try his fit samples on for him, it often came with a lot of groaning and sighing as he tended to spend _hours_ taking notes and making adjustments-it wasn't his fault that greatness took time. "In that case you are on, baby girl."

They took their positions outside the front door, Casey confidentially strolling onto their porch, Barry a little less so. There had to be a reason for her confidence, but despite his glances this way and that, he could see nothing out of the ordinary, no trap to be sprung. All he noticed was a gorgeous twilight sky, the lowing of nearby cows, and the cheeky smile of the woman he loved. He was so enraptured with the sparkle in her eyes that he nearly missed her calling for them to begin their race, but even a head start was not enough for Casey to outrun him. While he adored her, he was not going to forfeit this opportunity she was practically handing to him.

With only a _little_ guilt he began to run in earnest, loping easily past her with a wink, but that shit eating grin never left her face and he turned around to focus on his destination, the Dogwood tree about twenty meters away. He was so preoccupied with their game and Casey's strange behavior that he only noticed the sound of four paws charging towards him furiously at the last second.

“Abner, don-OOF!”

Abner was the Huff’s German Shepherd who inevitably lost his mind whenever he saw Kevin because Hedwig was in the habit of giving him goodies. Unbeknownst to Barry, the Huffs allowed their furry companion free reign over the farm in the evening, and so of course had to come over and visit his favorite treat dispenser (in the form of an ecstatic tackle). Abner was a _very_ good boy.

And so Casey laughingly told him as she raced past Barry, who was busy trying to keep the dog from drowning him in kisses. “This was a betrayal to end all betrayals!” he yelled before getting a tongue up the nose and sputtering madly.

Dorothy was outside removing laundry from a clothesline and turned to see what all the commotion was about. As soon as she saw Barry, she smiled flirtatiously and waved daintily to him. "Hello Dennis! Oh my, Abner really does love you, doesn't he?"

Barry waved back, offering an embarrassed smile before remembering who he was supposed to be. Abner continued to tongue bathe him as he glared towards the Dogwood at Casey, leaning against the trunk and giggling hysterically over her ruse.

He waited before Mrs. Huff headed back inside before he shook a fist at her. "You better start sleeping with one eye open!"

“Hey guys, what’s-oh my god!”

Hedwig shrieked with laughter as Abner smothered him in kisses, Barry ceding the light. Casey had won the battle, but Barry would inevitably retaliate with some form of payback, she was a wanted woman on borrowed time.

In a good mood after her victory, she watched the little boy and dog play until she decided they better head back inside so Dennis could get some sleep. Hedwig pouted, then cheered immediately as the dog followed them back home, walking through their doorway like he owned the place. Casey thought back to her conversation with Dennis about getting Hedwig a puppy and her heart twinged with pleasure-it felt like the perfect cap to their little family.

“Casey. What’s Abner doing here?”

Dennis's voice shocked her out of her reverie and she whirled around to face him, hands clasped over her pounding heart. His eyes read apologetic, but there was the slightest hint of a smirk as he pulled her closer for a kiss.

She calmed herself quickly. “You know that movie about vampires that are repelled by cats?”

“No.”

“Well, Barry is the vampire and Abner is the cat." She rubbed Abner's head as a silent apology for the feline comparison. "I need to keep him around to stave Barry off. There's only so much doggy spit he can tolerate before he's done.”

At the mention of dog spit, Dennis gingerly touched his face and frowned, finding his skin liberally coated in the stuff. He made his way to the kitchen sink scrubbed his face and neck thoroughly before turning to greet the dog glued to his heels. “You're keeping Barry from being a pain in the ass, huh? Good boy.”

Abner wagged his tail gently, tongue lulling out of his mouth as he grinned at Dennis with his toothy mouth. 

_Mr. Dennis, Abner wants you to get out the tennis ball!_

Dennis dried his face on a clean dish towel and then rubbed the bridge of his nose with a patience that only came from endless practice. “I’ve got work in the morning, Hedwig. You can play with Abner later.”

“But Mr. Dennis!”

“Work…” he reiterated, and then looked over at Casey. “And then later tomorrow I have somewhere to be.”

* * *

The left side of the bed dipped briefly and Casey’s eyes fluttered open only to close again, sleep stubbornly holding onto her consciousness. Kevin had taken the light back from Dennis the night before as both he and Casey were still giddy over the new developments. Even a round of rowdy celebratory sex had not been enough to wear them out, so sleep had not come quickly for the pair. Now that it was here, the Sandman would not be denied his charge. As Casey stretched her legs out to occupy the empty space that Kevin’s body had filled, lips pressed gently against her forehead, and she reached up to cradle the cheek of whichever of her lovers had awoken in the light. A sigh escaped him, deep and wistful, and Casey smiled to herself.

“Good morning, Dennis.”

“I’m sorry for waking you up, I’m usually better at keeping quiet.”

She finally peeked an eye open and glanced at the clock; it was 5:20 A.M., meaning poor Dennis had only gotten about four hours of sleep. “You’re probably still exhausted,” she murmured sympathetically, but Dennis shook his head as he began to carefully button up his shirt.

“I slept more than enough to get me through a workday, although I may need a nap before I go back out tonight.”

That was right, Dennis was going to be gone for the evening. Now Casey was fully awake, and she propped herself up on an elbow, intrigued. "What are you planning?”

He turned and looked at her over his shoulder, hands lacing his bootlaces with practiced ease. “Orwell thinks it's important to have someone as an "in" to this trafficking group. I can't find any reason to disagree, so that's the goal."

"And by 'in' you mean?"

Dennis sighed, this was the part he dreaded most because it was embarrassing, and because it triggered some fight or flight response deep inside that he had up until now been avoiding. Hopefully Casey had more faith in him than he had in himself. "I was gonna...pretend to be a john, get some info from one of the girls."

"Oh."

"If it bothers you, I can have Barry do it." _Barry_ did not have a history of being attracted to teenage girls, _Barry _did not have a history of_ kidnapping_ teenage girls, _Barry_ did not-

"No, I don't think that would be right. This is your fight." She paused a moment, and that moment told Dennis everything: despite her outwardly confident facade, the topic made her deeply uncomfortable. He couldn’t blame her, it would make most people uncomfortable. “Have you ever, you know, hired...companionship?”

“No.” Despite the affirming the negative, heat crawled up his neck, mortifying him further. “I thought about it a lot, but the idea of not knowing if or, or…what she might be carrying…it was too much.”

Casey nodded, but it was obvious she was relieved. Dennis relaxed when it became apparent she wasn't judging him.

“Sometimes, before things went to shit with me and Barry, he would help me find someone looking for a lay at a bar or club. You know, tell me what to say, how to say it….charm them.” The memories caused the blush to creep further up his face. “But I knew it was Barry they were responding to, not me. I figured that was somehow even more lonely and pathetic than paying for it, so I just gave up on sex altogether." He sighed again, this one even heavier. "Needless to say, I'm nervous."

"Why, do you think you'll do something wrong?"

Dennis stared at his feet, torn. Deep down, in the rational side of his brain, he knew he wouldn't, but OCD was never fucking rational. "It's not that, it's just...I can know something as a fact and still be..." he pointed to his head, grimacing. "Still be unsure regardless."

A hand slid up his back and rested against his neck, a gesture of warm comfort. “We really need to get you to a doctor. You promised, remember?”

“Yeah…yeah, I know.”

They sat in silence for a moment or two, the support Casey provided helping to ground him. Her hand left his neck and wrapped around his side, holding tight. "For what it's worth, I know you won't do anything bad. If you can't trust yourself, at least trust me, alright?" 

Tears began to prick at his eyes and he blinked them back, it was too early in the morning for a god damned breakdown. Trying to hide the weakness he felt (for her sake, he told himself, not his), he pulled her all the way onto his lap, nosing her cheek. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. Is there anything I can do to help?"

The question caught Dennis off guard. Even after all these months of living together, it still never occurred to him to request any aid from her. "I've been on the fence about it, but I think having a car this time around might be prudent. Something that can comfortably fit two people but won't really stand out."

"Rent a Mercedes-Benz, got it." Casey grinned as Dennis allowed himself a chuckle, and she figured now was as good a time as any to address the elephant in the room. Well, her room. "Have you spoken with Kevin lately?”

“No, why?”

“No reason.”

Dennis furrowed his brows. Obviously she was keeping something to herself, he just couldn’t tell if it was worth trying to coax from her (or Kevin), or to save it for another time.

His eyes tracked over to the clock, realizing the choice had been made for him. Fuck, he was running late. With a final goodbye kiss he grabbed a belt from the dresser and headed out the door, mumbling to himself about growing complacent. Dennis had not been late for a shift _ever_, and he didn’t intend to start now.

* * *

Seeing as he had actually made it to work on time (of course), Dennis didn't feel entirely _too_ uncomfortable asking Mr. Huff if he could leave the farm a bit earlier that evening. The older man barely gave it a second thought, waving his hand in friendly agreement before asking Dennis to check on and replace the spotted lanternfly traps. The job was done with relish if only because the damn things had made it onto Dennis's list of top ten things he hated, just barely beating out hotel soap and track suites (he suspected that was half of the reason Hedwig wore them). 

Later in the day he went through all the horse stalls, feeding and watering the large creatures. When it hit five o'clock, he put the grain and hay away and waved goodnight to Mr. Huff before heading home, trying to quell his rising impatience to get where he needed to be. He had left early enough to try to squeeze in a power nap, but at the moment sleeping felt like an impossibility. 

_You are utterly repulsive. You’re going to hurt some poor girl tonight, it’s inevitable._

“Shut up,” Dennis mumbled, quickly picking up his pace. Like clockwork, the Thing inside of him was uncoiling itself, stretching itself out and preparing to torment him ceaselessly.

_Don't pretend this is altruism. You're just going to get your rocks off in the name of justice._

This time Dennis remained silent. Often he fantasized about his OCD taking the form of another alter, just so he could fucking strangle the thing with his bare hands. Too bad it didn't work like that. 

When he got home, Casey was relaxing in their living room, playing on her phone. She jumped up from the sofa and went to embrace him, her lips brushing against his. "You want pizza or thai tonight?"

Dennis held her with one arm and checked his watch on the other with a curt snap of his wrist; there wasn't much time for relaxation or eating, but he couldn't go out hungry and exhausted either. "Whichever you think will get here the fastest. I'm gonna go shower and take a quick nap, if you don't mind."

"Sure." Casey let go, suddenly feeling bad that she hadn't had dinner ready. Not that she had _known_ he would be home early, but... "I picked up a car earlier today. Is there anything else I can do?"

Dennis shook his head tersely before heading upstairs, and Casey ordered the food as quickly as possible before following after him.

Despite his protests, she knew he would relax faster if he were sleeping on freshly cleaned sheets, so she took a detour to the laundry room. She stripped and remade the bed as he took his shower, only just finishing as he stepped out of the steamy bathroom. The shower had only taken about ten minutes, practically a record for him; obviously he was serious about wanting to leave soon.

Keeping his towel wrapped around his waist, he collapsed onto the bed, nearly groaning in pleasure when he realized the sheets were fresh from the dryer. "Thank you," he mumbled into the pillow, and Casey sat down next to him, trying not to get distracted by his half naked form. If she initiated sex there was little doubt that he would eagerly indulge her, but that wouldn't exactly have been the supportive thing to do at the moment.

"You're welcome. You get some rest, I'll keep the food heated for when you wake up."

"I won't be that long. Forty minutes, tops." 

Casey made it all the way to the bedroom door before she turned around again. "Do you want me to wake you up in an hour just in case?"

She received no answer, the silent rising and falling of his back the only indication he wasn't a corpse. Dennis was out like a light.

* * *

While it took much longer than he would have liked, Dennis was finally on his way to the inner city. The rental car was a risky idea. Casey had chosen a dark blue Altima, the very depiction of "average", but if the cops somehow caught him in the act and managed to get a plate number, they would easily be able to trace it back to her. And wouldn't they be surprised to see the young woman nationally known as "the one that got away from Kevin Wendell Crumb" living with someone who suspiciously looked a lot like Kevin? Evading the cops yet again would be second nature by this point, but they had a good thing going, and both Casey and Kevin deserved a sense of normalcy and stability in their lives. No, being caught was not an option.

The second issue was finding a girl. Years living in Philadelphia had taught Dennis where streetwalkers generally congregated, but he could navigate Philly with his eyes closed; Portland was another matter entirely. This was the only inconvenience to driving-on foot he could have kept to the shadows of rooftops and bounded from place to place until he found what he was looking for. Now all he could do was head to the nearest bus station in the seediest part of town and hope he lucked out.

Fortunately, luck out he did.

It wasn't quite nightfall yet, but already the neon signs of various clubs and bars were beginning to light up as daylight businesses shut down. At his third bus stop, he noticed a trio of girls dressed for clubbing but looking entirely too young to even be admitted inside of one. Dennis turned inwards, letting his supernatural senses take over, drowning out the sounds of anything and everyone besides those girls. Despite their outward confidence as they looked passersby straight in the eye, he could hear their hearts skipping beats, cortisol and adrenaline wafting from their skin. Whatever they were, for whatever reason they were out, they were nervous.

Now was as good a time as any. There were no sounds of police sirens or radio in a ten block radius, and realistically Dennis knew there probably wouldn't be: in a city as large as this, the goings on of a few prostitutes just wasn't a priority. 

Heart pounding in his chest, Dennis pulled the Altima over to the side of the road, a few feet from the girls, and adjusted his glasses nervously.

Then he adjusted his mirrors.

And then the A/C.

Just as he thought that maybe he had read the situation wrong and looked like an idiotic creep just idling there, a knock on the passenger window startled him. One of the girls was bent over, trying to show off cleavage that was already fairly exposed in a low cut mini-dress. The bare skin drew Dennis's eyes away from her face and for a moment his mind blanked while he struggled to remember what the fuck he was doing there.

Fortunately the girl was patient. She rapped the window again, breaking Dennis's daze, and he slowly lowered the glass so that they could speak. With an ease that belied the thrumming of her heartbeat (that was so much louder now that she was up close), she leaned against the window frame, hands casually dangling inside the car interior. "Are you looking for some company, mister?"

Christ, she sounded younger than she looked. Telling himself it would be better if he didn't speak, he nodded his head once, stoically, like he didn't feel like running away with his tail between his legs. The girl grinned. "Two hundred an hour, two thousand for the whole night."

He nodded again, this time finding his voice as he pulled out his wallet. "That's...acceptable." Mentally he was cursing, that was a crazy amount of money and little doubt that next to none of it would end up going to the girl. He leafed through his bills until he hit enough for a couple of hours and gestured to the door, indicating she should get in. There was only the barest hesitation on her end before she slid in beside him, and to make her feel more at ease Dennis handed the money over immediately. Her body relaxed and she took it happily, only stopping to count and make sure she wasn't getting ripped off before tucking it away and smiling at him once again.

Her breasts weren't the only thing that her dress refused to cover, the red fabric riding higher and higher up her thighs. A terrible burning began in Dennis’s head and spread throughout the rest of his body, the all too familiar feelings of lust and shame. It didn’t help that the young lady looked him up and down appraisingly.

“Damn, you’re hot. Don’t tell me that a guy like you doesn't have a woman?”

“She’s…at home.” The thought of Casey was like a lungful of air in the midst of suffocation, and the racing of his heart slowed significantly. Casey believed in him, in his mission, and he would die before he ever let her down. It was ok...he was ok.

“I won’t tell if you won’t.” The girl smiled once more, but Dennis couldn’t help but feel that this one came across as very sad. He paused for a moment, still feeling awkward. Fuck, he hoped Orwell knew what he was doing because Dennis sure as shit didn't.

The one thing he _did_ know was how the Broken liked to be treated: just like anyone else. He offered her his own sad smile.

“Are you hungry by any chance?”

* * *

Twenty minutes later they were pulling up to a motel that Dennis had been directed to, although "motel" was a generous descriptor. It looked more sheet metal and plywood than brick, and Dennis was positive that whoever was responsible for making sure public buildings were up to code was being paid to look the other way.

When they walked inside, the manager, clearly used to dealing with less than upstanding clientele, barked out a rate for the night, eyeing the Dunkin bags and cups of coffee the pair were holding with some curiosity. Dennis paid him, continuously glancing back at the front door just in case...what? A nun walked in? All he knew was that he felt horribly exposed and couldn't wait to be away from people probably judging the shit out of him, even though it looked like everyone in there was either a sex worker or an addict themselves.

The manager tossed a key to Dennis, mumbling their room number, and the girl made a beeline for the door like she knew the place inside and out; she probably did. Dennis followed behind, unwinding the tension in his neck a bit the further they got from the lobby.

When they stepped inside the room and he flipped on a light, it was all he could do to bite back a groan. Now that he could see better, it was glaringly obvious that if this girl was out of high school, it wasn’t by more than a year or two. She was definitely a pretty young thing, the streets not yet having exacted their toll on her, and her dark black hair shone with luster under the grimy florescent lights.

Dennis squirmed uncomfortably. “How old are you?”

A glimmer of fear seemed to pass over her face, then just as quickly she replaced it with an approximation of a coy smile; a child playing grown up. “I can be however old or young you want me to be.”

With a gentle exhalation, Dennis sunk down onto the bed, clutching his cup of coffee for dear life. Normally he would only drink that which he brewed himself, but he was trying to make her more comfortable. He held out her own drink, encouraging her to help herself.

Gratefully she took the cup and looked at the bag of baked goods longingly. “Would you mind if I…?”

“Knock yourself out, that’s why I got ‘em.”

Her eyes widened in delight and she opened the bag with relish, grabbing the first two donuts she saw without any obvious preference to one or the other. Mirroring Dennis, she sat down on the other side of the bed, digging into her food gratefully. “Thank you sooooo much, Uncle Jake never lets us have much more than tuna and raman. I can’t remember the last time I had a donut.”

“Uncle Jake, is he your…” Dennis trailed off, would a pimp actually call himself a pimp? Especially to a teenage girl?

“He’s my boss, yeah,” she answered helpfully.

“And what’s your name?”

The girl slowed down her decimation of the first donut, chewing thoughtfully as though it were a trick question. “You can call me Kayla.”

Dennis relaxed. He thought that maybe getting answers to his questions might be difficult, and if that were the case there was no back up plan. He certainly wasn’t going to beat it out of her, and when Barry had "helpfully" suggested tickle torture, he nearly beat Barry. Fucking wise guy.

They sat in silence as Kayla ate, and Dennis studied his surroundings with a critical eye. Unsurprisingly, the bed sheets were absolutely disgusting, even by a regular person's standards; how did people have sex in this filth? Even Kayla seemed a bit put off, crossing her legs so that only one thigh had to be touching the mattress. She gave no regard to the mess she was making with the donut though, crumbs dropping everywhere, and Dennis tried not to let his face twitch. She seemed nervous enough already, she didn't need to know that she was stuck in a room with a basket case. And when she looked up at him with expectant eyes and a bit of powder on her nose, it drove home just how young she really was. Hell, it reminded him of Hedwig. Then she wiped the powder away and bit her lower lip seductively, and all trace of childishness disappeared. 

Dennis crossed his own legs, trying to channel Barry in an effort to seem less intimidating. “Well Kayla, this is gonna be an easy night. I just need you to answer some questions for me.”

Scooting over to Dennis's side of the bed, she lay a hand on his inner thigh. "Ask away, sexy."

Dennis licked his lips, the inevitable blend of obsessive self loathing and arousal heating his body. _She's a victim. Like Kevin. Like you. _With more effort than he would have liked, he removed Kayla's hand from his lap_. _

"You been doing this a long time?" Clearly she hadn't, being so young and all, but Dennis wanted to get a sense of how young these kids actually were.

Kayla shrugged as though she didn't want to give it much thought. "Long enough to know what a man likes." Her hands moved for Dennis again and he grabbed them gently, placing them back on her lap. He could tell by her body language that she was either incredibly annoyed or incredibly confused.

"We're not going to be having sex, Kayla. You can relax."

The admission caught the girl off guard, and for a moment her mind seemed to go to the worst case scenarios: was he some depraved fetishist that got his rocks off by puking on people? Cut her up for blood play? Was he going to _kill_ her?

Dennis shook his head, realizing that his attempt at comfort wasn't specific enough. "Just questions, a conversation, that's it. No more, no less."

"Uh huh. Are you one of those guys that just pays for someone to talk to? I thought you had a girlfriend."

God, why did teenagers always have to question everything so much? Dennis had never felt the need to when he was that age. "Focus for me, Kayla. How can I get into contact with your Uncle?”

“Why?”

“He has some information I need.”

“I knew it.” Dejectedly, Kayla put down her food. “I knew you were too good to be true. You’re a cop, aren’t you?”

“No, not at all.”

“Guess I should just be glad you haven’t been grabby with me, a lot of cops aren’t afraid of taking what they think they can get away with.”

“Kayla, listen to me.” Dennis got up from the bed and faced her, painfully aware of his hands in relation to her body. He knelt down, resting his palms on his knees, trying to make himself look as small as possible. “I’m not a cop, I swear. I just had a business opportunity I’d like to run by him. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Uncle Jake is a man who like his money, yeah?”

For a moment Kayla seemed to ponder this, no doubt considering the consequences if Uncle Jake was displeased with her bringing a stranger around. He _did_ like his money though. Like, a lot.

Finally she nodded, figuring that if it paid off in the end, perhaps she'd be rewarded. "Alright, I can give you his number. Just...if he agrees to whatever deal it is you want to make, can you tell him that I was the one that put you two in touch? He might actually give me a night off for once."

"Yes, of course." A twinge ran through Dennis. He felt absolutely awful about the deception, but allowed himself some comfort in the knowledge that he would never let that piece of shit hurt Kayla or any other child again. "That's all I wanted to know for now."

“That’s it? We’re done?”

“We’re done.”

“But you paid for three hours!” 

Dennis shrugged. “Well, I guess you have some free time then, don’t you?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Like I said, easy night.”

“Then…would it be alright if…” For the first time that evening, Kayla looked absolutely flustered, her cheeks turning pink under the light. “Would you mind if I slept a little?”

Taken aback, Dennis stared at her with wide eyes. Her request reminded him of a time back at the zoo when some lunatic had crawled inside the lion enclosure in an attempt to "pet one". She was lucky though, managed to escape the ordeal with only her right shoulder torn to shreds. Barry had to fashion a makeshift tourniquet in order to stop her from bleeding out before the EMTs arrived, but there was no Barry to play the hero tonight if things got messy.

“You feel safe going to sleep in a room with a strange man?”

“Believe me, I’ve been in way weirder situations. And Uncle Jake, well, he doesn’t really let us sleep a whole lot. When we’re not out with clients, he expects us to take care of the house.”

A heady mixture of fury and compassion surged through Dennis, silently vowing he was going to force feed that asshole his own teeth when they finally met. He got up off the floor, instead pulling a chair over to the cathode television that seemed to still be in working order. “You sleep then, I’ll just watch some tv and keep an eye out, ok?”

Kayla nodded fast, as though Dennis might change his mind and could be prevented from doing so just by agreeing with him. She moved to turn the sheets down and Dennis hissed, causing her to jump a bit. "What...what's wrong?"

He stood up, holding a hand out, pleading. "Don't...don't sleep on that, it's filthy. Hold on a second."

He left, and a few minutes later was back in the room with an armful of bed sheets, muttering about the manager under his breath.

"I don't care if he is running a shithole, he can still show a little pride in his job, right? There's no rule that says crack houses can't have clean sheets." He looked up to see Kayla tensing at the irritation in his voice, and he tried to relax, reminding himself he couldn't talk to her like he would Casey or the Others. For all Kayla knew, he might be the type of person that remained calm and cool until something utterly trivial happened to make him snap. "I know, silly thing to worry about, right? What can I say, I like cleanliness."

Kayla continued to stare with a mixture of bewilderment and gratitude as Dennis made the bed for her, tossing the old sheets to the floor with little ceremony. No way was he folding them up, they were better off being burned. 

Heading into the bathroom to wash his hands, he scrubbed them nice and raw, wincing as the cheap hand soap invaded his cracked skin. By the time he was done and came back out, Kayla was curled up on the bed. She was clutching a pillow to her chest like one might a stuffed animal, and Dennis was so overcome with a sense of protectiveness that it shook him.

He sat down on the dingy chair he had taken for himself, turning the old tv on at a low volume to help pass the time. But whatever was on barely held his attention, and for good reason. Dennis was a Guardian again, and he couldn't have ever imagined it ever feeling so good.

* * *

Casey was still up when she heard Dennis come through the front door, checking the clock on the bedside: 2:15 A.M. It looked to be another fairly sleepless night for the poor guy. The sounds of the faucet turning on in the kitchen reached their bedroom, and then Dennis slipped in a few minutes later, the only indication that he was tired being the dark bags under his eyes. Casey put down her book and went to kiss him, helping him disrobe and placing his clothing in the hamper while he went to take another shower. There was little to be had in the way of conversation, she knew that this was his time to recharge and he had precious few hours to do so. 

Stretching back out over their cool bedsheets, the sound of water pattering against the shower walls lulled her to sleep. Dennis was back home, uninjured and sound, so it was safe to relax, to let go. 

When she came to, it was to the feeling of an arm being wrapped around her waist, the body of her partner spooning against her back. The realization that it was Barry and not Dennis hit her as he nipped the sensitive skin of her neck, the smell of rum body wash tempting her to close her eyes and sleep again. Instead, she twisted around to face him, biting her lip and trying to make her eyes _just_ large enough to affect him: the picture of innocence. "Is Dennis alright?"

"Of course."

The fact he had little to say made her nervous. “You’re not still mad about Abner, are you?”

Barry grinned, and it was entirely too sharp for Casey's tastes. “You should know by now that I don’t get mad, love.”

“Just even then, right?”

Pulling her closer, Barry tightened his arms around her small form. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Night babe.” He left her with a kiss and a low chuckle, exhausted and falling into an easy sleep. Casey disentangled herself from his arms and moved to the far end of the bed.

Just in case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Casey is screwed.
> 
> So, in a bid to be the most clueless fan on the planet, I only found out that "Raven Hill" is 15 minutes from my house. Yeah, the place where Shyamalan broke my heart is right up the street because of course it is. In actuality it was a psychiatric hospital that closed about 10 years ago, and the worst part is it's right down the street from where I spent hours screwing around as a teenager (my best friend from HS's house is a few blocks away). _In my defense_, I thought the entirety of Glass was shot in Philly, and to even get to this place you have to break off from the main road onto a narrow one way street with a bunch of signs advertising something about a children's community service center(?), so yeah, never any reason for me to be up that way before.
> 
> Obviously though, really, REALLY fucking cool (and ok, maybe a little immersion breaking because wtf, my old gym is down the street). I would have killed to just sit there and write for as long as possible, and even played with the possibility of getting past the fence and inside, but there are security cameras and the cops keep it under high surveillance. I only just barely missed one that was on his way up as I drove down; I have little doubt that even if I was just minding my own business I'd get kicked out. Was still amazing to stand at the place where our favorite OCD addled Protector turned traitor to the Horde ❤


End file.
